Story Brainstorming + Mentoring

Okay, so I just need opinions from a few people to read a short excerpt from a story I've been planning and tell me how old the kids in the story sound.

I'm not good at writing young characters. In my mind, the characters are between the ages of 10-12 years old, but I just need a few people to read it just to assure me that I'm on the right track and that the kids don't sound too old or too young for their age.

The excerpt from the story is only about 2 and a half pages long (in Word).

Please PM me if you can help.

I'm not sure where exactly this fits (either this or story Q&A). Anyway, I'm writing a story about two girls who fall in love. The main character is lesbian, and the love interest is bisexual. My question is... what sorts of things should the MC go through with her sexuality that would warrant a depression diagnosis? She's already accepted her sexuality, so that won't work. If it helps, her father is a real bigot towards LGBT+ rights. The only ones that really know about her sexuality are her mother and a few past friends she's had as well. I know that could be a good reason for her dealing with depression, but I need other ideas though. If you have any, please pm me as this is a lot easier than flooding up this thread. :3

Help has been found! Thank you =)

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