What Do You Think of My Story Idea?

  • the surgeon.

    the surgeon. (200)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Here's a thread where people can post their ideas and receive a bit of feedback on it.

    Here are the rules:
    • Post your story idea.
    • The next person will comment on your idea - give constructive criticism, tell you if they'd read it or not... Then they'll leave their story idea.
    • The next person will comment on their (^) idea and leave a comment...and so on and so on.
    We want some good feedback!
    August 30th, 2010 at 01:28am
  • die Bienen Knie

    die Bienen Knie (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    Ok I'm starting!

    __________________

    "Sherry McGavin and The Sixth Reich" is the fictional autobiography of white supremacist author Sherry McGavin as she discusses her childhood, relationships, political views and inspiration behind her best selling propeganda novel The Sixth Reich. - comedy.
    August 30th, 2010 at 07:50pm
  • wicked ways

    wicked ways (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    22
    Location:
    Ireland
    Hmm, that sounds quite good. I wasn't really imagining it as a comedy though, although nor did I imagine it to be serious. But I liked it.

    --

    A girl (no name yet) has shizoprhenia and she ends up in an insane asylum. She's alseep but when she wakes up she's surrounded by unfamiliar faces and she's in a straitjacket. It's set in the 1700's. It's just about her time in the asylum and what an insane asylum was like back then compared to now.
    August 30th, 2010 at 10:50pm
  • Francois Arouet

    Francois Arouet (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    Cyprus
    Well it sounds a tad cliché, but if you don't care about that it's a good idea. The 1700's twist makes it sound very interesting, too.

    _________________________

    Sometime in the future I kind of want to write a story from the perspective of an online stalker, a pedophile. First person. To try to portray his side of the story.
    August 30th, 2010 at 11:11pm
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    I could see that having the potential to be very well written. It all depends on who's writing it though, or if you can get really into your character. Like if you can really make yourself be the creeper.

    ---

    Ninja sex? I was thinking of writing a short story about Storm Shadow from G.I Joe, mainly because I just am going through a random phase of loving ninja men.
    August 31st, 2010 at 04:19am
  • Siriano;

    Siriano; (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    That sounds... interesting. XD Depending on how you write it (seriously or somewhat comically) it could easily be a bit ridiculous. All based on how it's done.
    --
    I have a bunch of characters that I've wanted to do something with for a while, and I think I've decided. A story that is pushed forward by a theme more than a plot. There will be a series of characters and scenarios that take place in a small town in east Tennessee and what connects these characters to each other is that they all have some relation to the news of a high school runaway. May or may not be rather dark. Will take place in late 90s.
    August 31st, 2010 at 05:39am
  • isangelical.

    isangelical. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    22
    Location:
    United States
    Think You know, I was iffy on it at first, but I like the idea of it. I sort of like those movies where there's seperate people and they're connected by little things and you don't know how they're connected at first. Like Vantage Point, or Babel. I don't see it as dark, necessarily.

    -

    This one isn't fully developed yet, but it'll be my next chaptered fic. It's a Tom-centric Tokio Hotel fiction, no twincest involved. Tom suffers from depression and PTSD (and possible schizophrenia, if that's how it goes) after all the build up from a constant, looming feeling of inferiority compared to his brother (inferiority complex). He ends up snapping at one point, never forgiving himself for how he hurts Bill, and never moving on from it, and months later attempts suicide. It puts him into a psychiactric ward, where Tom's been shrinking away from his brother and being taken over by his disorders. It's sort of a story on his road to recovery, both in his own mind and in his relationship with his brother, but not a typical The Bell Jar type of story. Bill's sort of very fucked up too and he really is to blame for everything, while the reader mostly thinks it's in Tom's head for awhile. Told through chapters of narrative, tape recordings (Tom and his therapist; script), and journal entries (Bill's).
    August 31st, 2010 at 05:58am
  • Icamane Hatake

    Icamane Hatake (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    United States
    That would be interesting Think You'd have to make everything fit the time period of course, which I have no doubt you could do xD, and it sort of reminds me of REPO! The Genetic Opera. Lots of little plots going on, and then they all come together in the end. When they're done right, they're so amazing Wow Totally late Facepalm
    I think if you handled it right, it would be amazing D: And I really like your ideas for the narrative, tape recordings would be so cool tehe I haven't really seen any stories told that way.

    -

    I actually kind of started on this idea, but I'm not sure about going on with it. It's the nerdiest thing ever, a Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings crossover XD It kind of spawned after I had a dream about a witch fighting in the battle at the very end of Return of the King at the Black Gates. I think I might be able to pull off the idea... it's just kind of and IDK right now.
    August 31st, 2010 at 06:04am
  • die Bienen Knie

    die Bienen Knie (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    IcamaneHatake:
    I actually kind of started on this idea, but I'm not sure about going on with it. It's the nerdiest thing ever, a Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings crossover XD It kind of spawned after I had a dream about a witch fighting in the battle at the very end of Return of the King at the Black Gates. I think I might be able to pull off the idea... it's just kind of and IDK right now.
    The idea is kind of hard to judge because it's very vague but I don't see anything wrong with LOTR/HP. Depending on how it's written and if the reason they meet is pluasible this could be quite good.

    _____________________

    "Sherry McGavin and The Sixth Reich" is the fictional autobiography of white supremacist author Sherry McGavin as she discusses her childhood, relationships, political views and inspiration behind her best selling propeganda novel The Sixth Reich. - comedy.
    August 31st, 2010 at 06:40am
  • isangelical.

    isangelical. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    22
    Location:
    United States
    Think I'm not sure. It could be interesting, as most autobiographies are, but it semes like mostly mature content. I don't know if I see it so much as a comedy. However, the entire idea reminds me of Kathy Griffin, since it's comedy. It would have to be done just so, otherwise it could come across as, I don't want to say boring, but dry.

    -

    This one isn't fully developed yet, but it'll be my next chaptered fic. It's a Tom-centric Tokio Hotel fiction, no twincest involved. Tom suffers from depression and PTSD (and possible schizophrenia, if that's how it goes) after all the build up from a constant, looming feeling of inferiority compared to his brother (inferiority complex). He ends up snapping at one point, never forgiving himself for how he hurts Bill, and never moving on from it, and months later attempts suicide. It puts him into a psychiactric ward, where Tom's been shrinking away from his brother and being taken over by his disorders. It's sort of a story on his road to recovery, both in his own mind and in his relationship with his brother, but not a typical The Bell Jar type of story. Bill's sort of very fucked up too and he really is to blame for everything, while the reader mostly thinks it's in Tom's head for awhile. Told through chapters of narrative, tape recordings (Tom and his therapist; script), and journal entries (Bill's).
    August 31st, 2010 at 06:53am
  • The Way

    The Way (1400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    20
    Location:
    Philippines
    If you pull off the mental disorder and make it seem disturbing and realistic enough, it'll be exceptional. I like the brotherly theme and the way you described the narrative - in snippets using different media. It'll be interesting to see how you'll piece it all together but still keeping the storyline clear and intact.

    -

    I feel like writing short stories about inanimate objects. Microwaves, toothbrushes, even songs on the radio - kind of personifying them and seeing how they all interact with each other and what they think of the people who mass produce and buy them. The themes will be deceptively human - one brand is jealous of another brand, one appliance complaining about being abused - with underlying messages about consumerism. Lol.
    August 31st, 2010 at 09:48am
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    I'm not going to lie, the idea doesn't sound appealing to me, at least not right now because it's way too freaking early in the morning. But I would read it simply because you wrote it....>.>

    ---

    This is a story I already have posted, but I'm iffy on continuing it and I'd like to see what other people think of the idea, so I can see if it's worth continuing.

    Okay, so it's a vampire story. Shifty[I know].

    But it's more, based on....how should I say this, like Adam and Eve. The story basically comes to terms with the story of Adam and Eve, and shows how God punished them, but instead of just like banishing them from the garden or whatever, he banishes them from the sun. And then the entire world is vampires, and these scientist guys try to find a way to find a different food source, just because drinking blood from animals is kind of inconvenient, and then they also try to find a way to walk in the sun.

    Both of these things cause different effects on their subjects. Those deprived of blood turn into monsters called Daywalkers, and those forced into the sun, for shorts amount of time [UV Lights, not the actual sun] lose all their strengths, but they also lose their craving and need for blood. But they still can't walk in the sun, and obviously the monsters who are Daywalkers can walk in the sun.

    It focuses on a woman named Eleanor who is a vampire, and she ends up getting together with a few survivors, because it's taking place during flashbacks to when the monsters first showed up and present day, which is basically kind of like a zombie town. She gets together with the some test subjects who are trying to find their way back to the laboratory they escaped from and finish the project.

    Woo, that was long. Eh?
    August 31st, 2010 at 01:42pm
  • The Way

    The Way (1400)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    20
    Location:
    Philippines
    Ooh. I absolutely love your version of vampire origins, and how you tied it to the Bible. But to be honest that premise itself disinterests me from the Eleanor storyline, and makes me want to know more about how they lived and evolved that way. Obviously civilization would have been built a little differently, science would have developed into another direction, and even culture itself would be staggeringly varied from what we know today (for example, nobody really has to 'cook,' everyone is supposedly perfect so there's no need for beauty products, literature would be about 'normal' humans instead of vampires). There's a lot of wolrdbuilding that has to happen to make this more concrete, so I wouldn't really mind if you focused on just that main backstory. The Daywalkers idea sounds like something for a sequel.

    -

    About a girl who can't feel pain. It starts with only physical things, but since she can't even identify the sting from a paper cut, it affects the way she feels, or doesn't feel, anything when people hurt her emotionally. When she enters adulthood, they find a cure for her condition, so essentially the story begins in that moment the needle leaves her skin. In turn, the she has learn to deal with more than twenty years of pain from that second onwards.
    August 31st, 2010 at 02:26pm
  • the surgeon.

    the surgeon. (200)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    This sounds really interesting, like something I would read. I like the theme and symbolism behind the way she can't feel emotional pain due to her lack of physical pain. That would be interesting, to see the way you explain that... But I get a little confused after that. So they find a cure for her when she's older, and when she's cured she feels all the pain she hasn't felt before the cure? I don't understand how that would work - and I'm not sure if you mean physical or emotional pain here, or both. That part baffles me slightly but you being you Isa, I'm sure you'd find a way to make it sound realistic and amazing. ^^

    ---

    A simple story about acceptance. A girl, who's been stuck in the middle of no-where, sees a train pass by everyday, a train going home. But she can't get on it and feels really frustrated. But one day she waits for the train to come and when it arrives, she asks the train to send a message home; a message saying she's doing fine. She's alright where she is. The train disappears and she walks away, content.
    August 31st, 2010 at 02:41pm
  • Siriano;

    Siriano; (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    Is it a one-shot? Because if so, that sounds very...appealing. It could be done simply an be brilliant. If not, you'll have to give it a very strong sub-plot in order for it to be interesting.

    --

    I need a back-up for my main story. Something that I can work on when I have writer's block.
    That means potential vampire slash. Shifty
    I've been wanting to do something with vampires and I think I have an idea.
    The story will cover the growing up of my main character, a boy who lives with his extremely supersticious mom, from boyhood until he's a young adult. He lives in a small town in a world where vampires are very much real and very much a threat.
    When he's young, he befriends a young vampire in the graveyard one day. The vampire dissappears but returns once he's older.
    One thing I've already given a lot of thought is the lore, the most fun part. My vampires are seen as a threat to society and their numbers are few. They aren't capable of blending into society very well. When deprived of blood, they look a lot like a fresh corpse and they drink blood to appear and be more human. In order to become a vampire, you had to have killed yourself because those who wish to leave this world will be doomed to walk it forever. Most vampire lore such as garklic and holy water applies.
    And a relationship with a vampire would be seen in the same light as beastiality or necrophilia. A combination of both of those.
    [/very condensed version]
    August 31st, 2010 at 07:58pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    That actually sounds like a movie I would really want to see and I'm not a fan of vampire stories. I like that you say it would circle around a boy growing up in a world of vampires and not a vampire. And the vampire/human relationship taboo is really interesting as well.

    ---

    An eating disorder/OCD story about a girl or boy obsessed with Alice in Wonderland who's inspiration is "eat me, drink me". The ED is actually just a side effect of the OCD where he/she thinks certain foods will make him/her shrink or grow. And it would probably include this recovery group or an institute where someone else (potential significant other) actually doesn't try to eliminate the OCD, but work with it in order to the get the other person healthy. They make a list of all the foods the person can eat and such . . .
    August 31st, 2010 at 08:47pm
  • die Bienen Knie

    die Bienen Knie (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    I dunno, I'd have to read it. The idea itself seems ok but I think it could turn out to be really interesting or really...well, stupid depending on how you wrote it and went about the concepts. To me it doesn't really seem like a story (which makes sense it's just an idea right now) so I'd have to see how the plot developed.

    _______________

    "Sherry McGavin and The Sixth Reich" is the fictional autobiography of white supremacist author Sherry McGavin as she discusses her childhood, relationships, political views and inspiration behind her best selling propeganda novel The Sixth Reich. - comedy.
    August 31st, 2010 at 09:00pm
  • little motorkitty;

    little motorkitty; (630)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    I'm not sure if it's something I personally would read, as I have a terrible sense of humour but it sounds really original and quite interesting. I think it's something that a lot of people would read if you handled the subject well. I say go for it.

    --

    It's not a fully developed idea but it's about a girl who's descendents mated with fallen angels and so she has their blood in her veins. Because of this she can't touch people or look into their eyes or they'll burn from the inside. I'm not sure what will happen but I know she will leave home, and at one point kills a boy she loved and ends up gouging her eyes out with her own hands.

    I've had the idea for about a year, maybe to make it a novel, I'm not sure.
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:16pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    I like it. I like the idea of religion blending with human form in a really interesting way. I think that would work really great to see how she effects the people she comes in contact with. (This does seem like a book I could see in a store.)

    ---

    You reminded me of a really old idea I've had but have never been able to properly execute. Two boys. One of them is descended from Jesus Christ, the other from Judas Iscariot. The first one is, like, raised by extremely devout parents and blah blah blah, knows he's gay but that he'll have to marry a girl to carry on the bloodline. The second boy is just sort of your average kid, has no idea about the bloodline, etc. They meet by happenstance and get together and then, somehow, the church informs the Christ boy's parents that the other boy is descended from Iscariot and it's this weird feud thing. O_o
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:38pm
  • roe.

    roe. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    Holy cow! That sure would be one hell of a story. I'm not into slash, but I'm sure you could pull it off, I'd even read it for the sake of the religious side of things. I'm a sucker for those kind of stories.

    ________________________________________________________

    So, I'm in the first stages of planning this one out, so it's not fantastic. This mother of a ten year old boy is struggling to keep up with her mortgage, tuition, food, clothes, etc. And when she gets fired from her cashiering job at a nearby grocery store, she ends up desperate and goes into the exotic dancing field of work. It's basically about the struggles of being a single mother. And along the way her husband shows up, the same husband that ran off when he got caught in gang issues.

    I know i want to write this, but it's just the details I need to work out. I'm also thinking of her struggling with identity issues, but I'm not sure.
    August 31st, 2010 at 10:44pm