^ Claimed.
I thought the first paragraph was worded perfectly. I liked that you came right out and said what had happened, since it's such a daunting thing, the fact that you didn't beat around the bush or add any kind of flowery description of the event, made the outlook even more bleak. The starkness of it really set the mood for the story.
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But the radiation mutated human DNA, creating new hair and eye colours, new blood types, and most importantly, X Bloods and Vampires.I don't really know why, but that line (the one I bolded) doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the narrative so far. Maybe it's the vocabulary you used there that stands out from the rest of it? Or maybe if you were less specific about
what changes in appearances occurred, that would better fit? I just didn't sit right.
After the first couple of paragraphs, though the ideas became more interesting, the writing kind of fizzled. The way you narrated the rest of the summary changed a bit from that more authoritative voice the piece started out in, and it felt like you didn't chose your words as carefully (and effectively) as you did at the start. I also think the tense in those paragraphs didn't work with the content. Since you were (mostly) talking about what happened in the present (more present than the end of the world anyway), I think it would have been a little better if the tense you used was in the tense the story would actually be using.
BUT I would definitely continue reading this story, because the premise alone seems really interesting. I've seen a few alternate universe stories with a plot similar to this, but I can tell from your summary that yours isn't going to be the overdone human-slave falls in love with vampire-master thing. And your writing style is also something I want to see more of.
Under the Endless Moon