Comment the Summary

  • pocahontas.

    pocahontas. (565)

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    pocahontas.:
    Firstly, I really like your layout and how nicely the setup of your summary matches with it. The content itself is rather nice - two paragraphs, a good length especially at a glance. (Especially because of the font size!) Sneaking the character images into the quote was a nice touch - the quote, I might add, was a nice touch to the summary matching up with the first sentences.


    Relating beauty to an illusion is rather telling of your character. There's always a catch with a character this perfect, and I after reading this one paragraph I really want to know what it is. You reveal a lot about her character in terms of both physical and characteristic attributes. cat like should be cat-like.

    You're really fabulous at making actual writing sound like poetry. Is it weird that your description of Byunghee reminds me of the Hulk? Part of me hopes that these are just some really poetic descriptions, but the other part hopes that this is actually some sort of supernatural tale. I mean, what appears to be super-strength, Grim Reaper, the Devil? This sounds like the perfect not-quite-antagonist-not-quite-protagonist lead male story where the girl stumbles into a different world.

    Your character page is a great addition to this! I'm not sure if you wanted things to be given away by the descriptions that weren't in the summary, but that totally happens. Of course I'm happy with this because it means I didn't have to wait to find out if my guess was correct~

    Very nicely done - subscribed!
    Nanih Waiya
    June 26th, 2016 at 11:51am
  • padme;

    padme; (100)

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    shego.:
    First off, the layout. I love that pastel green. Your layout is simple and beautiful, so props to Sam. However, the perfectionist in me wishes that there were colors from the picture of the moon and Nanih Waiya (at least, that's what I'm assuming it is) were used in the layout. The blues in the image are kind-of throwing me for a loop with the green and grey-ish colors going on in the rest of the layout. I'd say not use it, but if the mound in the picture is Nanih Waiya then it's relevant to the story - and I'm only suggesting that you remove it because aesthetic-wise it's not really needed... and I do love that green.

    Second, I really enjoyed the song you linked. It, like the layout, is beautiful and simple and I'm all, "Why haven't I stumbled across this before?" But the song also has this tragic element to it that just makes it so wonderful.

    Now, onto the text. It too is beautiful, simple, and really intrigues me. I think you do a wonderful job of setting up the story. There are only a couple things I think you should change (which you don't have to, they're only suggestions). The first is change "floor" to ground in, "Surely a hole in the floor didn't create mankind." Secondly, the last sentence left me a little confused - and not and maybe not in the bad way, depending on how you intended it. So is Nahih Waiya not actually a mound? Is the entire world a different world from our world? I'd just like this to be clarified a bit more, unless it's purposefully done to make the reader ask these questions. In that case, don't change it.

    Altogether, I love it. I can't wait to read this. I'm definitely subscribing and recommending!
    The Lost Prince -- is the description too long? I'm kinda worried it's too long.
    October 2nd, 2016 at 08:42am
  • A siren

    A siren (200)

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    The summary isn't a summary, but more of an excerpt. It does give a glint into the story, though, what it would be about; a girl named Allesandra who is Severus's niece. Although it isn't a summary, it is just about as effect (and about as effective as you can get for posting on Mibba). The little lines of text added above, below, and in between are a little confusing—as if they're from two different sentences. I would look into rephrasing them. Other than that, if I were a Harry Potter fan I would be intrigued enough to give this a shot!
    The Land of Infinite Whispers
    June 23rd, 2017 at 08:48am
  • nearly witches.

    nearly witches. (15230)

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    Firstly, I like the layout area for the summary. There's enough padding, the colour / font go well with the rest of the layout and above all, it's readable. Everything gels together well and it's attractive enough to draw the reader into the summary itself.

    Your summary itself reads like a typical fantasy summary -- it gives us a glimpse into a world you've created, and the characters that will be integral to that world. Instantly, we get to forge relationship lines between the characters (Mirabelle being the last-born daughter and so on so forth) and we get an idea of where the story will be going. You give away just enough without giving away too much -- we've still got a lot to be learning within the story content itself and you don't give away the entire plot within the summary. That being said, it could do with more information on vertain parts as it gets a little confusing -- what's a Scourge and why is it important? That turned me off of reading the story a little as I believed I needed more information / knowledge specifically about the story prior to actually reading.

    Aside from that, a good strong summary. Nice work!
    The Moscow Files
    September 10th, 2017 at 10:51am
  • Lover of Polka Dots

    Lover of Polka Dots (100)

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    Lover of Polka Dots:
    Ooo....... for just a summary, I was rapt. War time stories can be kinda tough (I know they intimidate me as an author) but I've got high hopes for this. I'm not sure where I thought it was going to go but I did not expect for 16yr old Nastasya to "take matters into her own hands". Her own teenaged hands! What is she going to do?? I wonder if she was born a bad ass or if we'll be able to see her character grow into one. I hope to see some really good combat scenes!
    I guess I'll have to read to find out. Subscribed!
    The Warm of Him
    September 17th, 2017 at 12:47am
  • inactive;;;

    inactive;;; (210)

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    I love how simplistic your summary is! It's short, but enough to pull the reader in and make them want to know more. Your layout is also simple and goes well with your summary. All-in-all, it pulled me in!
    One in Ten
    October 7th, 2017 at 11:50pm
  • kaul hilo

    kaul hilo (100)

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    I really, really like this summary. It has such a hopeless romantic vibe to it, especially the ending sentence. I think in the first sentence the really could be cut out because it breaks the flow a little, but otherwise I think the summary really encapsulates the story (from what I can tell so far, anyway) and draws the reader in. I find myself intrigued with the concept of soulmates you've set up and I'm really curious about Lennox as a character, how he got into this situation and how he will get out of this situation.

    Basically, I think the summary is good. It's short, simple, sweet and to the point while still drawing in the reader. I mean, I have already subscribed so tehe
    Nate & Jules
    October 10th, 2017 at 04:05am
  • hereticblood.

    hereticblood. (210)

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    (I don't know how to do the fancy box around my comment because I'm a noob, so I'll just type it here XD)
    I really love this summary, it made me giggle! tehe I can tell straight away that I'm going to like Jules, his personality and sense of humour really shine through in the summary. I like the simplicity of it, it's short and sweet and it lets the reader get a sneak peek into their relationship. Also, the banner ties in with the carefree and sweet summary. I really like how it looks like a mini moodboard. tehe I wasn't subscribed before, I definitely am now!

    Rage and Ruin
    October 17th, 2017 at 11:46pm
  • A siren

    A siren (200)

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    The summary is super short and leaves much to be desired; it is not a summary, as much as it is a statement that has to do with the story. Depending on how long the completed product is, it can be a very effective way of letting a potential reader know what was going to happen or what the story is about, but for anything longer it leaves out a lot of content that could potentially be in the story/be important to the story, which is what a summary is really about. If you plan on making this long, I would expand on it. If not, it gets the job done.
    (I know it wasn't 100 words, but the summary was two sentences.)

    The Land of Infinite Whispers
    October 22nd, 2017 at 06:53am