Comment the Summary

  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

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    It's very simple and yet very tempting and provocative and I like that about this summary. It just gives this little glimpse of what is to come. The whole spacing of it and the little snippets are simply gorgeous and I especially like the quote since it applies so wonderfully to the theme.

    Hell's Kings
    March 2nd, 2011 at 09:20pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    This makes me think it's going to be somewhat snarky or sarcastic and I love that. I like that you tell us this is about vampires, but it's sort of a different way of doing it. I love the list. Makes me think that he's either about to get fucked over or has gotten fucked over several, several times. (Or, with the title being Avery, perhaps it's a series of vignettes about getting fucked over.) I don't like vampires at all, but this actually looks really really interesting to me.

    The Prettiest of Liars.
    March 2nd, 2011 at 09:27pm
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

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    It makes you wonder what he's apologising for, but I don't think it grips the reader that well. Although, with it being a snippet of the story, it gives you a lot in the way it is written and the style of it. I think it would be better with a bit of a summary.

    Special K.
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:55pm
  • jj1027

    jj1027 (100)

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    I like it quite a bit. It makes me wonder what it is Kendall is running away from and it makes me hope that what she is running to is something better. Could benefit from a bit more length though.

    http://stories.mibba.com/read/366725/Three-Blind-Mice/
    March 3rd, 2011 at 06:12pm
  • fairyfeller

    fairyfeller (1655)

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    I like the repettiveness of 'three' at the beginning of each paragraph. The summary is very ingriging, it really makes me want to know who these people are and how they all found each other.

    The Roll of the Dice
    March 3rd, 2011 at 06:58pm
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

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    So, I love this summary. It just gives you a little teasing taste of what will happen in this story or what might be happening in this story. I think that only thing I don't like is the word heckload. There just seems something a little off on it, I love the summary nonetheless.

    Beauty and Beast
    March 3rd, 2011 at 08:07pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    I'd like the quotations broken up, like one before the summary itself and one after. I do like the summary, though I'm confused about the word fortune. Is it fortune like money or fortune like a curse? The rest of it is interesting and I like that it shows she's not happy about this. I am curious if it's a period piece, though by the banner it doesn't look like one. I like the tone the summary is told in.

    Ryan's Waltz.
    March 3rd, 2011 at 09:02pm
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

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    I'd put the story information at the bottom (like the word count) but I think the summary is very simple yet informative and alluring. I like the use of the italics.

    Special K.
    March 8th, 2011 at 02:10pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    I'm not sure how I feel about the warning. Personally, I dislike warnings for things like drug use and sexual content because I don't feel it needs to be warned for. I like the characterization of the character, but from the snippets I've read of this, I'd actually like to see a bit about the parties and stuff woven into the summary itself. [That would also negate the need for the warning.]

    Learning to Fly.
    March 8th, 2011 at 05:33pm
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

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    It gives a lot of information, one I'd probably have to read the first story understand but I think it's quite gripping for people who are interested in the subject. It's simple and straight to the point.

    All Babes Are Wolves.
    (Once it's posted I will have the word count filled in)
    March 9th, 2011 at 07:11pm
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

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    I actually rather like how personal and yet remote it is. It just gives you this little hint and taste of what the story will probably be like and then takes it away just as quickly leaving you wanting more and requiring you to read it to find out.

    Dystopia
    March 13th, 2011 at 08:47am
  • Roseh; believe

    Roseh; believe (330)

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    I really love the idea of the timeline. It puts the whole story in context and gives enough background information for the reader to understand when and where the story is set. I also love the relation of the past events to the present day of the story, and I would love to know how they'll work together. It doesn't give alot away, but definitely gets me interested.

    Oh, How We Dream.
    (Word count to come when posting starts)
    March 13th, 2011 at 08:56am
  • floe239

    floe239 (100)

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    I like the fact that you used a lot of imagery, it makes me think you put that much care into your writing. And the whole diary thing is interesting. Only critique is I'm not sure if it'll totally grab people. Its a very quiet summary overall. Time Stands Still
    March 14th, 2011 at 12:30am
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

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    I really like the summary. It pulls you in and makes you want to read the story to find out the answers to all the questions you put up. Like, if someone pushed Ian, who did? And, is this story about ghosts, or is it just a murder case that needs to be solved? Very lovely. (:
    Slur.
    March 14th, 2011 at 01:16am
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

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    i think that you honestly have a pretty good idea here. it gives the reader a perspective of what is going to happen in this story and is a pretty good idea in my opinion.

    Dystopia
    March 14th, 2011 at 01:34am
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

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    I like how it is a timeline, but I feel it's too long. It could do with some cutting down on the dates, although I do like the use of the timeline - I've never seen it done before.

    Over Exposure.
    March 14th, 2011 at 12:42pm
  • Roseh; believe

    Roseh; believe (330)

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    I'm instantly intrigued! The little quote at the start is just long enough to showcase your beautiful writing, but not to give anything away. You tell the reader so much in the whole introduction, but still manage to tell them nothing at all, and I love it! You meet the characters, which I like, and also understand their situation, but you still don't know where the story is going to go. It's fantastic.

    Oh, How We Dream.
    (Word count to come when posting starts)
    March 14th, 2011 at 07:14pm
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

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    Wow! That simply sounds brilliant. I love the way that you draw in the reader almost making them a part of the story itself. It makes you look at this life as if it is so ordinary and yet that there is something about this particular life that should make you pay attention.

    Twisted Angel
    March 14th, 2011 at 09:47pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    I think 'man' should be 'men'. I think it's really interesting and I like the dark imagery you get from it. There is a tense shift I noticed that threw me off, but I like it. I like the mentions of the other characters without going too much into it.

    Exactly What You Think It Is.
    March 15th, 2011 at 06:14am
  • floe239

    floe239 (100)

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    Well, there wasn't much of a summary to comment on.
    It's very simplistic, but it doesn't leave much to the mind. It's more of a statement.

    Time Stands Still
    March 16th, 2011 at 10:42pm