Comment the Summary

  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    I like how sexual it seems. Love it. I like the part that's slightly bigger for emphasis. The excerpt works really well here. It makes me think the whole story is pretty much an exchange between the two, so if it's not, that's something to consider. But I've no complaints.

    Learning to Fly.
    March 29th, 2011 at 11:28pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    Oh, gosh. I normally don't read mpreg, or band fics, for that matter, but I just may be interested in reading this one. I've always been looking for slash stories that one couple actually cheats, or just may be cheating, because with all of these other stories, that character that is suspected of cheating actually never really does, and character B is just super jealous.
    Can't wait for it. (:

    beautiful within;;
    March 29th, 2011 at 11:32pm
  • floe239

    floe239 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    United States
    It was very sweet and sincere, yet dark at the same time. I found that extremely cool. The dialogue made me think as if two little kids were talking and it warmed my heart.
    Just the imagery of skin burning and flesh ripping was very cool, sort of a cool ribbon to tie on the present.
    Very cool summary, it gave me the clear idea that there is a romance ahead.

    No Time To Bleed
    March 30th, 2011 at 01:23am
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    I see no reason to list the title in the summary considering it's already on the banner. I'd also love to see the things like 'original zombie fiction' and the layout credit in a smaller size than the actually summary itself. I'm also not sure why the dashes are at the bottom? I do like the summary itself though. I think it's a great way to give us a picture of the character and bring it around to the plot since this looks like more of a plot-driven fic. It gives us a lot while not giving everything away. I am glad it says 'zombie fiction' at the top otherwise I wouldn't have guessed from the summary though.

    Among the Living.
    March 30th, 2011 at 01:35am
  • Wednesday Way!

    Wednesday Way! (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    I enjoy the mysteriousness of it. I can get a general idea of where it's going. I just don't like how Ryan leaves & we're not sure of what Brendon does. Yet, I think that's because I think Ryan is going to find him. Yet, I really enjoy it's eeriness.

    And I Think I'll Try Any
    April 3rd, 2011 at 06:24pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    I like it and how it has a paragraph for each character. I like Ryan's paragraph better, but that's 'cause I'm always more interested in Ryan as a character. tehe He, also, wants to speak to the one person that left him. That line seems a little strange to me since it says its only really in the back of Brendon's mind. The line seems a little more like active wishing, which contrasts with the first line. Maybe just play with the wording a bit?

    Among the Living.
    April 3rd, 2011 at 06:34pm
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    I like the idea that it gives the back-story, but it just seems like its missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it. I get these characters, but I can't seem to see where it all comes together, the little hook that makes me go: must click and read.

    Tick, Tick, Fuck
    April 4th, 2011 at 07:19pm
  • Kawaii Emotions;

    Kawaii Emotions; (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    24
    Location:
    United States
    I love the layout because it's beautifully bold! The quote sets up the story and I like that it seems to be a cat and mouse type of romance.

    I'm Not Perfect
    Please comment on every possible thing from the layouts to the characters. i want this story to be great!
    April 4th, 2011 at 07:53pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    First off, I like the layout. Not too unique, but the background is lovely, and the overall feeling it gives me is that this is going to be a serious story. It's really easy on the eyes, and it's a tad relaxing. It makes me want to read more.
    Now, on to the summary. I really like how simple, yet capturing the summary is. From the get-go, you know a basic idea of what's going to go on, but not too much as to you know everything. The summary makes the story sound very promising; let me know when you add a chapter so I can read it. (:

    Bare
    April 4th, 2011 at 09:08pm
  • the redhead's cho

    the redhead's cho (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    I like how you have the two different sides though I think I would have liked it better if you had done that in an alternating style. But as for the text itself, I think that you display this character for people to see and to wonder at.

    Tick Tick Fuck
    April 4th, 2011 at 09:49pm
  • purple haze.

    purple haze. (220)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    I like it, it's simple and straight to the point.

    Over Exposure.
    April 4th, 2011 at 10:38pm
  • AHLICE

    AHLICE (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    It sounds very promising, and it really pulled me in. I will defs be reading this. Very nice.

    Green Tea & Bread
    April 4th, 2011 at 11:18pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    It's interesting. It actually seems like a summary I would read on the back of a book. I like the description and the characterization of the girl and the allusion to what will happen without giving anything away. Makes the reader actually have to read to find out.

    Among the Living.
    April 5th, 2011 at 12:03am
  • fooleish

    fooleish (205)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    I like that you introduce them both separately and in the same way and then move onto describing them together. It just seems to flow really well, like two separate threads being woven together. Also, the image at the end, of Ryan just watching and not being seen, is really heart-wrenching. I think After two years, Ryan's father took his life. seems a bit awkwardly-worded, but apart from that it's a really interesting and effective summary.

    (If We Can) Find Where We Belong.
    April 19th, 2011 at 09:32pm
  • mynus

    mynus (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    22
    Location:
    Virgin Islands (U.S.)
    crazy awesome idea, by the way! zombie apocalypse should be pretty fun to write about.
    the final line, "This is their story." seems a little cliché to me, but the overall final paragraph is quite effective. It has power and nicely sharp. In the beginning of it, I think it is a bit confusing of all the dates. 30 days before the end of the world and then moving into after the end of the world, leaves a bit to be desired. Only about the end of the world. Perhaps a little could be said about what happened because you don't sense it right away. Unless this is the same event opposed to one event being zombies and the other being apocalypse. If it is the same, then I have made a fool of myself; but I guess it's something to elaborate on. I really like the phrase "brainthirsty dead" haha

    Nevermind
    April 25th, 2011 at 05:57am
  • Natalie!!

    Natalie!! (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    I actually really like the almost sarcastic tone you used in your summary. It's interesting, and it lets you know that it's not just going to be some plain old story written with plain old words from a plain old point of view. The fact that it barely says anything about the actual contents of the story does have the appeal of "oh let me click chapter 1 and find out", but it's kinda nice to know what you're getting yourself into before you dive into a story. It sounds pretty cool though!!

    Toast to My Waffles
    May 14th, 2011 at 10:08pm
  • Saul Hudson

    Saul Hudson (355)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    Canada
    I like the summary, it's cute and quirky in a way that doesn't come off as sounding really childish. I like almost the pun that Adam makes. The summary doesn't give much away but it does keep the reader very interested in what will happen, making them want to read it even more.

    Adam was suckered into the "(Phone) Number the Stars" contest, this line confuses me though I'm not really sure what the (Phone) Number the Stars contest is though I might be extremely dense but other then that I really like it. Maybe just make that a tad clearer and it'll be great! :)

    Ruined
    May 16th, 2011 at 08:00am
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    32
    Location:
    United States
    It's interesting that you show backstory and then the 'turn' that I assume the story is based on. I'm not sure you need the warning regarding drug use because it's pretty apparent from your summary. (Sorry. I'm not a fan of unneeded warnings; they irk me.) Overall, it's a nice summary.

    A Bong Named Ryan Ross.
    May 16th, 2011 at 07:52pm
  • Natalie!!

    Natalie!! (250)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    23
    Location:
    United States
    It sounds pretty interesting, honestly. I absolutely LOVE Panic!, so of course that's always a plus. Your summary is pretty clear and concise, and has a tone that's a fresh breath of air. It leaves you wanting more, and it's pretty eloquently worded. I approve haha

    The Toast to My Waffles please!
    May 16th, 2011 at 10:38pm
  • havoc's panic

    havoc's panic (350)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    Canada
    I had to read the first sentence a few times for it to make sense, but otherwise I liked it. It was quite humorous. I like that it gives an idea of what to expect at the beginning, but it doesn't give away the whole story. All in all, a wonderful summary. :)

    Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da. (The title's the only thing in German. The story is in English. :))
    May 25th, 2011 at 04:07am