Comment the Summary

  • fun ghoul fez.

    fun ghoul fez. (100)

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    I thought that it was really intriguing. The concept sounds quite unique and you give us just enough details to keep the reader interested, without giving the whole plot away. I thought I should point out that the it's should just be its but other than that, I really liked it. (:

    Run. It's a temporary summary so I'd love to hear some feedback. :)
    July 8th, 2011 at 06:34am
  • turducken

    turducken (100)

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    Oh my god, it completely reminded me of like in the beginning of the movie, and the screen is completely black, and all you hear are the whispers. I don't know, but I seriously loved it. It didn't bore me and the whole you-may-die thing definitely caught my attention. It's not too short where I'm like "what does this have to do with anything?" which I really like too, it's a good length. And it's incredibly intense and it definitely pulls the reader in immediately. I really like it.

    Chasing The Future, s'il vous plait? :D
    July 8th, 2011 at 02:13pm
  • Ayana Sioux

    Ayana Sioux (1175)

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    Although the layout isn't the summary, I just wanted you to know that the layout is gorgeous. When I first looked at the summary I already started to dread it because of it's length. Although I do like the summary, I believe it's a little too long and too discriminate to be the summary. I was starting to want to go into skimming mode. Perhaps you can abbreviate the first five paragraphs into one so it wouldn't drag on so much. That beginning part sounds as if it belongs in the opening of a story. If the summary sounds like that AS WELL AS the opening of the story, it can get a little boring. But I'm sure it's a good story because you seem to have a skill for writing. Just don't blow it with the first impression.

    Extranormal please and please ignore the UNDER CONSTRUCTION part. Obviously that's not part of the summary because it's not orange. And please leave the comment on my story also or else I wouldn't know if you reviewed it or not because I'm not on here all the time (the forum area, that is).
    July 9th, 2011 at 02:37am
  • Kawaii Emotions;

    Kawaii Emotions; (100)

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    Claimed, will do!
    The Stolen Child
    I'd appericate if you left the comment on the story itself, Thank you.
    July 11th, 2011 at 07:30am
  • Apathetic Squirrel

    Apathetic Squirrel (100)

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    I really like it, the poem in the begining draws my attention in by making me curious as what the rest is about.

    ((I have no idea how to do links))
    http://stories.mibba.com/read/402252/The-Last-Queen/
    July 11th, 2011 at 09:13pm
  • dr. faustus

    dr. faustus (1070)

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    I thought your summary was good, and felt I could see something like this on the back on a book. It's captivating and hinted at some supernatural and suspenseful elements that like reading about in stories. I could see myself giving this a go. However, I didn't like the layout.

    Sleep Deprivation and Stories of My Bullshit Youth. I'm unsure about it and no chapters are posted. Thanks.
    July 12th, 2011 at 12:28am
  • Apathetic Squirrel

    Apathetic Squirrel (100)

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    I find it very interesting, it gives the sense of subtle mystery that makes me curious to see what the story is, what happened.

    And yea, I'm still trying to get the layout right Dx But thank you :)
    ((I have no idea how to do links Don't expect a layout I cant get it it right))
    http://stories.mibba.com/read/402252/The-Last-Queen/
    July 12th, 2011 at 01:07am
  • loverfayce.

    loverfayce. (105)

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    The code you'd use to link that story is [url=http://stories.mibba.com/read/402252/The-Last-Queen/]The Last Queen[/url]

    Whoaaa that was really good. Like, that's something I'd expect to read in a book jacket, just with the type of language and comparisons you used and everything. The story doesn't necessarily seem like my type of thing, but it definitely gives me the feeling that the story is quality work. You do an excelletn job of giving a direction for the plot, but not sacrificing too many details.
    Also, I think the layout looks just fine. Mr. Green

    Strut.
    July 14th, 2011 at 10:39pm
  • fun ghoul fez.

    fun ghoul fez. (100)

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    I really, really enjoyed your summary. I've really been into seedy stories lately, just all the corruption behind the scenes, and this sounds like something I would read. I think that you did a great job at describing what your story is going to be about without revealing too much at the same time. Also, I really enjoyed the layout, especially with the four icons underneath the main picture; it looks great. :)

    Never Coming Home please.
    July 15th, 2011 at 06:11am
  • Apathetic Squirrel

    Apathetic Squirrel (100)

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    Please Wake Me Up
    The way it is worded, I feel the emotion of it. It may be short but with the few deatials I saw, the more intrigued I was; asking questions like, "Why is she at the bottom of the sea? Who was she? Who is Mikey?" it caught the attention of my curious nature and gives the impression of a sad romance. :3

    And thank you loverfayce! 8D
    July 29th, 2011 at 12:44am
  • Natalie!!

    Natalie!! (250)

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    Just a few grammatical notes:
    What wasn't normal about her was that she suffered from chronic night terrors.
    (no comma necessary)

    When she had turned five the images grew worse. Finally her parents decided that it was time for a visit to professional doctors.
    (consider two sentences?)

    Now twenty-three, something's wrong.
    (apostrophe)

    Drugs kept the dreams away,
    Or so the doctors and she had thought and prayed.

    (comma instead of period and 'she' instead of 'her')

    As far as the actual summary, I found it pretty intriguing. I adored the layout. ADORED. The summary gives you just enough information to spark your interest, but not enough to ruin the story for readers. I really like how you caught that fine balance. I really don't have any constructive criticism because it's pretty much perfect. Great job(:

    We've Outgrown This Place
    August 7th, 2011 at 04:14pm
  • Audrey T

    Audrey T (6730)

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    This was one of the cutest summary's I've ever seen. I'm not a fan of Mitchel Musson (I just know he's the kid that used to be on Hannah Montana) and I'd normally have no interest in reading about Disney peeps, but your summary made me want to read more (and I definitely will). I thought the shift in narratives went really smoothly and I like the fantasy feel to it - even though that's not the way the entire story is told.

    Wide Awake, please.
    August 9th, 2011 at 04:05am
  • amaranthine.

    amaranthine. (155)

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    I really like it - as a summary, it's very intriguing and would definitely make me want to read more. It contains just the right amount of detail to explain the story but not give too much away. Also, I like the fantasy feel to it - I enjoy reading fantasy, but I don't feel there's a lot of it on this site, and I also have a thing for stories set in Scandinavia.

    Chasing Imagination
    August 13th, 2011 at 06:03pm
  • halcyon.dreams

    halcyon.dreams (100)

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    ^Claimed^

    Wow! I like your style of writing, the opening paragraph really got me, and I love it when I read something and there's a line that just grabs my attention, this one was: "imagination was made illegal, dreams were banned and creativity was banished." to me by the end of the summary, it was as if it was a cliffhanger. I loved that it kept you guessing on what the story might be about. I loved it :)

    If You Give Up New York, I'll Give You Tennessee
    August 14th, 2011 at 01:29am
  • Audrey T

    Audrey T (6730)

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    We're discussing possible changes in the commenting threads here, please peep in and let us know what you think.
    August 24th, 2011 at 09:04pm
  • loverfayce.

    loverfayce. (105)

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    The summary was interesting, if a little unclear. One thing that I'll admit turned me off it immediately was the coloring, the red and blue when none of that matched another part of the layout. I felt it was unnecessary. The writing itself was good, but a little shoddy on the tenses, I would read it over and decide whether you want it in past or present. It gave me sort of a vague interest in the story, but it's too hard to tell what the story's actually about, in my opinion. I think the whole thing should be a bit more clear-cut.

    -----
    (This isn't posted as a summary so I'm just quoting it here.)
    "Ross and Reagan Cester rub shoulders with Manhattan’s finest daily, no one ever knowing their social lives as a pretext to something much more malicious. On the outside, they’re as perfect as ever–but on the inside, something is brewing. Something that may or may not result in the downfall of a certain CEO, a supermodel, an overprotective agent, and a person in the midst of it all who you’d never expect."
    August 26th, 2011 at 09:06pm
  • aubree james.

    aubree james. (300)

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    I love it. It's short and sweet and wonderful! Ross and Reagan Cester rub shoulders I like that phrase, it really outlines what's happening without saying it indefinite. By listing whose downfall you've given me a sneak peek, and I must say, I like the character list!

    Symptoms of Life
    August 27th, 2011 at 05:16am
  • swell

    swell (150)

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    The first sentence immediately drew me in. I could imagine some guy whispering in my ear in some husky voice, which I liked. I loved the descriptions and it was nice to read that you weren't going overboard with the descriptions. It was the right amount. 'Expelling waves of shocks' - I quite liked that phrase. The dialogue seemed cute between the two, something realistic which is always good. The symptom of life fact intrigued me the most, though. It makes me interested for the story. The only criticism I would have is the 'Ryan Waters had rules' bit is hard to see, so maybe change the colouring? Other than that I'm curious to see what happens between the two.

    ---

    Freedom
    September 29th, 2011 at 10:13am
  • TheRibbonOnMyWrist

    TheRibbonOnMyWrist (500)

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    First off, I really like how the picture ties in. That's really cool. Reading the summary, at first I though "hmmm," but after finishing it, I really quite like it Nyam I didn't click to see the first chapter, but I feel like this is going to be something very deep but fast-paced -- not of that wandering in the woods and sitting around a campfire for 5 years like Lord of the Rings *shoots self* It really sounds like a bunch of rebel kids, but not in the sense that you think "oh those prying kids and their silly dog." More like...they're finally getting out. Kinda how I feel on the last day of school, only much more intense in this case. Nice job.

    Shattered Postcards
    October 1st, 2011 at 08:27am
  • little motorkitty;

    little motorkitty; (630)

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    I really liked it, it sounds pretty cool and quiet mysterious. I like the name you've given the protagonist, it's weird but not too weird. I also like how you mention Pete Wentz by name, but not the other 'friend' that's alluded to or anybody else, it makes me want to read more. The character of Jaidea sounds really interesting and pretty cool, without sounding like you're trying to hard to make her bad-ass. I also like that you've mentioned she's a college student, it's a nice change from high school students. It sounds really interesting and I liked how you phrased it all, it gives a good sense of atmosphere to how the story will be.

    Fallen Future
    October 11th, 2011 at 05:47pm