The Definition of "Slut"

Note From Admins: This is a thread where users are discussing the term 'slut' and the various definitions and ways people use it. If you feel uncomfortable or sensitive towards the topic or any topics that may branch off from it, please refrain from taking part in the discussion.

Remember that this is a discussion on the topic in general, not a forum to personally attack other users. But if you offer up your personal experiences, it will be up for discussion, debate, and responses. Again, if you feel uncomfortable or sensitive towards the topic or any topics that may branch off from it, please refrain from taking part in the discussion.

---

What is a slut? There's no real definition. A woman with eight sexual partners may not be considered a slut whereas a virgin might be.

What's the difference between a slut and a girl who enjoys sex?

This thread is for the discussion of the definition slut.

You may not call anyone a slut in this thread, whether it be a celebrity or someone you know personally.

---

For me, it's hard to define. There's no cookie cutter mold. A slut is someone, to me, who carries themselves in a particular way. Like they want to be looked at a sex object, treated like a sex object, and don't think there's any other way to be but then they deny being that way.

A slut never wants to be considered a slut.

I do agree with you for the most part, but could you elaborate on something for me.

druscilla bleeds.:

Like they want to be looked at a sex object, treated like a sex object, and don't think there's any other way to be but then they deny being that way.

For example, for a person who enjoys the attention they get from being looked at/treated like a sex object, or that's their kink. But, they also don't act that way 100% of the time would you consider that person a slut?

Can a guy be a slut? If so, then do people have a different definition of a slut between genders?

I personally don't, if a guy sleeps around as much as a girl does, I weigh it equally, but I know it's definitely portrayed differently between sexes.

If a girl dressed provocatively, flirted with every single person in the room, and just put herself out there, and you considered her a "slut". But, then you find out she's a virgin, would your opinion change?

Do you consider a person who has anonymous sex a slut?
I don't, I've actually wanted to do it before.
--

It's hard for me to say what a slut is, it's a mixture of a couple of things:
+ They engage in sex so much that say, if they get pregnant or an std they couldn't be able to pin it down to say at most 3 people.
+ They enter a room packed with people, and they've performed a sexual act with everyone of them.

^
Addressing your specific question to me: No, I don't find that person to be a slut. There's a difference between a kink and just the way you are all the time.

Quote

Can a guy be a slut? If so, then do people have a different definition of a slut between genders?

Yes, but no. No, society doesn't generally call men sluts. When I can a guy a slut, I don't mean it in the same way I call a girl a slut.

Quote

If a girl dressed provocatively, flirted with every single person in the room, and just put herself out there, and you considered her a "slut". But, then you find out she's a virgin, would your opinion change?

No.

Quote

Do you consider a person who has anonymous sex a slut?

Definitely not. At least, by itself, it's not criteria for being a "slut".

druscilla bleeds.:

A slut is someone, to me, who carries themselves in a particular way. Like they want to be looked at a sex object, treated like a sex object, and don't think there's any other way to be but then they deny being that way.

I was about to comment on this and mention fetish models and what not, but the italicized part doesn't make that an issue.

When I think of someone slutty, I don't think of it as a matter of number of partners or relationships, but kind of like you said, an attitude. Someone who uses sex to manipulate people, only with regard for themselves.

thalida.:

If a girl dressed provocatively, flirted with every single person in the room, and just put herself out there, and you considered her a "slut". But, then you find out she's a virgin, would your opinion change?

I don't know if you're saying this hypothetically or reflecting you opinion, but does dressing provocatively make you a slut?

Kurtni Manson:

I don't know if you're saying this hypothetically or reflecting you opinion, but does dressing provocatively make you a slut?

This isn't directed at me, but I want to answer. I was going to just say "no", but then I thought about it. Someone who knows better and wears a miniskirt and a crop top with half her boobs hanging out to a formal event like a funeral or a wedding is behaving in a very slutty way, though I'm not sure it makes her a slut, she's definitely behaving like one.

I definitely think that there's also a bit of an age component to it, when it comes to how does your attire effect your 'slutiness'. Well, maybe not so much an age, but kind of like a 'what's the situation' part. For example, there's a girl in the grade below me (she's a sophomore in high school) who dresses very, very scantily. Maybe her clothing choices would be acceptable if she was twenty four and about to go to a night club, but do you really need to wear three inch heels to biology? I don't know her very well, just through the rumor mill, but she's gathered a reputation of being easy because, among other things, she goes out of her way gain attention through her body.

Is she really a slut? I don't know. And while I try to remain judgment free, yeah, it kind of becomes hard. I'm not trying to say that she shouldn't be able to express herself through her clothing choices, but there's certainly a clear line that she often passes, and it makes people look at her in the wrong light.

^
Age definitely plays into it.
If I'd slept with as many guys in high school as I have as an adult I would think I was a slut.
It's probably not age so much as perceived maturity though (as well as actual maturity).
There's also the social norms. In high school you "should" have a single person you go steady with.

druscilla bleeds.:

This isn't directed at me, but I want to answer. I was going to just say "no", but then I thought about it. Someone who knows better and wears a miniskirt and a crop top with half her boobs hanging out to a formal event like a funeral or a wedding is behaving in a very slutty way, though I'm not sure it makes her a slut, she's definitely behaving like one.

I would probably say unclassy as opposed to slutty, but that makes sense.

In most situations though, I don't think it makes you slutty, but proud of your sexual appeal. Unless you're doing it in inappropriate situations, like you mentioned.

^
I've always said it's not about what you wear but how you carry yourself. Lady Gaga, for example, can wear very very little in the clothing department, but she carries herself with self-respect and class and dignity and I don't think she's a slut at all.

For me, I've always used the word in connection with any woman who is overly promiscuous. I've always considered it a derogatory term, which is extremely rude. If I found out the person was a virgin, that would really depend on what one means by virgin. If virgin purely means that they haven't had sexual intercourse, but they may have done everything else, then no, I'd still consider them overly promiscuous.

Like some of you have said it comes down to an attitude more than anything else.

Interestingly, when I looked up definitions for slut on google, two of them came up with the word 'slattern' which just means dirty and untidy woman, so the connotation there is that being promiscuous is a dirty thing.

Also, I know it's not relevant now, but like the word 'bitch', slut used to be a term used to mean female dog. And, it also just meant 'maid'.

[Forgive me, I'm very interested in the history of words...].

Still the modern day usage is usually derogatory and usually pertaining to sexual promiscuity.

the mice endure:

For me, I've always used the word in connection with any woman who is overly promiscuous

What is overly promiscuous?

This is where I run into problems. Because a lot of people say it's a girl that sleeps around or sleeps with everyone or has a lot of sexual partners, but nobody has a magic number.

Audrey and someone else quoted something in one of my journals that says "a slut is a person who has had sex with one more person than you have".

So what is the definition of "overly promiscuous"? And what is the definition of "promiscuous"? Is there a set number for each? A set number per year a woman is allowed to sleep with?

druscilla bleeds.:

For me, it's hard to define. There's no cookie cutter mold. A slut is someone, to me, who carries themselves in a particular way. Like they want to be looked at a sex object, treated like a sex object, and don't think there's any other way to be but then they deny being that way.

A slut never wants to be considered a slut.

Same here. If you're sexually active, whatever, just don't go telling the whole world and making it quite obvious that you want to be looked at as a sex object because then, you're a slut. That's just to me.

^
I talk about getting laid on Mibba and my social networking sites. Does that make me a slut that I'm open about my sexual history? Or would it be more "slutty" for me to tell people randomly that I sleep around?

I just really dislike the term slut. The very fact that only women can be sluts is putting me off from using the word. It just seems to me that the word is cultivating sex negativity in women while men are still studs and "players" (this one is supposed to be an insult even, but yeah right). If I had to use the word, I'd say it's a manipulative woman, who uses sex appeal, teasing and sex itself to meet her goals.

^
I'd call someone who using a tease. But that's just me.

I don't like the word slut either, but I don't like the fact that there's no definition more.

In the high schools I've attended, I see the word slut has a very wide range of definitions:

*A girl who gets with a guy/girl right after breaking up with someone
*A girl who sleeps around with no strings attached
*The pregnant girls
*The girls with children already
*A girl who is dating the guy you want
*A girl who openly flirts with a lot of people
*A girl who dresses "inappropriately" -basically, her breasts hanging out of her shirt or a very short skirt/shorts

And there are so many more "definitions". I personally don't agree with any of those definitions, nor do I even like the word itself. I don't even have a proper definition laid out in my mind that I think of when I hear the word "slut".

However, reading through this thread, I can say I agree with what Dru and Kurtni have said. Being a slut depends more on how you hold yourself, or the attitude you have, and not necessarily how many people you've slept with.

I think a slut is someone who brags about it.

dressedtokill:

I think a slut is someone who brags about it.

Can you define bragging?

And brags about what? Having sex? Getting hit on? Giving oral? Getting oral? Losing their virginity to their boyfriend of three years? That they lost their virginity on their wedding night?

^ I think it's a question of what you put forward to the world as your main interests and achievements. If you act like having sex is your main achievement and focus in life, people will think you're no better than that and it's only natural that they should do so. I don't understand why somebody'd feel the urge to share their sex life with random people, to be honest. It's not like how much sex you have is really a defining personality trait. Telling people that you have loads of sex doesn't make them think you're attractive, funny, nice or clever - then why do it?

dru gives a damn.:

^
I talk about getting laid on Mibba and my social networking sites. Does that make me a slut that I'm open about my sexual history? Or would it be more "slutty" for me to tell people randomly that I sleep around?

More like, the latter.