The Definition of "Slut"

I have a female friend who self-identifies as a slut, which I think is pretty admirable considering its connotations. She likes sex, she's not ashamed of it, and she accepts the term, though obviously takes issue with its pejorative use.

What are people's opinions on the potential reappropriation of the word? Good idea? Realistic aim?

@ Alex; periphery.
I'm not a person who believes words can only have negative connotations. I've jokingly called myself and friends sluts in positive ways. It's also used in the BDSM community positively.

The issue isn't the word but the act of reclaiming it. There's no way to change the negative conotation and that word would still be used to hurt people.

I purposely use the word slut in situations that make no sense. Usually with stupid things. Like, for example, if a friend that's obsessed with redbull suddenly drinks monster, I might go, "You're drinking monster today instead of your beloved redbull? You slut." Or if someone's just doing something that's really not that big of a deal when it comes to wardrobe/sexuality, then I also call them a slut. Like my friend ordered lube with her boyfriend and I was like, "Whaaaat? You're in a healthy, committed relationship with your boyfriend and want to have fun? What a slut."

Why? I honestly can't answer that because I'm not entirely sure. Probably because I'm weird.

@ CallusedSilk
I've done that. "This is my third coffee today. I'm such a slut." It's kinda funny. Mocks the connotation like when kids said "that's so straight" to mock the "that's so gay" trend.

@ dru is beautiful.
Omg I'm so going to use the 'that's so straight', but I feel like going one step above that and calling it heterosexual just to really emphasize it. YOU ARE SUCH A HETEROSEXUAL.

I love it. Thank you so much for that.

To me a slut is someone - boy or girl - who sleeps around and has no real values when it comes to sex. the sometimes wear suggestive/inappropriate clothing. Sometimes they are paid for their sexual services.

@ January Rose
Maybe someone places a different value on sex than you do. Maybe they value it for sexual gratification while you value it as a display of love. What is a suggestive piece of clothing? A v neck shirt? A skirt above the knee? A crop top? What if the crop top is paired with a high waisted skirt?

I guess my question is... What are these people doing so wrong you think they deserve to be negatively labeled for it? Why do you feel it's so bad to have sex with a stranger or a shirt skirt that someone should get to label them a slut?

Your definition of slut sounds like something only you can define. Everyone's definition of immoral, inappropriate, and promiscuous is different. Now most people have their own definition for slut. But can't you see the problem in that? If everyone can make up their own definition of the word then we can't get mad the person who calls a 12 year old rape victim a slut. Who are we to define his use of the imaginary word?

I don't think 'slut' can be clearly defined. I think what each person defines as "slutty" depends on them.
For example, I have good friends who are very conservative that would say if someone is having sex without being married, even if they are in a committed, long term relationship, that's 'slutty'.

I will say that I think 'slut' is a term used exclusively for women and is usually said by men. When I hear women calling other women 'slut' it's usually a term of endearment.

Also , in my life experience, typically 'slut' is used to define a (heterosexual) girl/woman who won't acknowledge or accept a (heterosexual) boy/man's sexual advances. I've also heard 'slut' thrown around a lot in situations where a girl may have more than one person expressing interest in her and she is choosing to court (but not necessarily sleep with) all people expressing interest before dating one exclusively.

I personally don't think the word should exist much less have a definition.

My definition of a slut is essentially anyone who is a homewrecker.

@ Valerie.
People use it a lot more liberally than that though.

@ Valerie.
Just out of curiosity, in the homewrecker situation, how exactly do you apply the term? Like, say a married man and a single woman got together while the man was still married. Would you call both of them sluts or would you only call one of them? And, if you only called one of them a slut, which one would it be?

CallusedSilk:

@ Valerie.
Just out of curiosity, in the homewrecker situation, how exactly do you apply the term? Like, say a married man and a single woman got together while the man was still married. Would you call both of them sluts or would you only call one of them? And, if you only called one of them a slut, which one would it be?

Assuming the woman is aware he's married, then I'd apply the term to both of them.

@ Valerie.
Fair enough. I had to ask, because some people only apply it to the non-married party (usually a woman), and that makes me annoyed 'cause they're not the ones that made vows.

@ Maleficent A
Can I just enquire as to why you have these views? Where did they originate from / why have you chosen this as your belief system?
Also, I'm interested as to why you've chosen the word "boys" over "men" when using "women" over "girls". Is there a difference between boys and men?
Why are only women held to the standard of looking and acting responsible, and not men? And as a consequence of only women only having sex once they're married, does the same rule apply to men or are they permitted to enter into a marital relationship non-virgins?

Also, as your definition of slut is at quite the extremity to your definition of a woman, is there a mid point between the two?

I mean no disrespect, and I'm sorry if that's the case, I'm just intrigued as to why you have these views.

Maleficent A:

You see a in my community a woman cannot have sex before she is married and if she does even if its only once she will earn herself a bad name but a man can do as he pleases being as well he's a man.

And you don't see anything wrong with that? Are you okay with women being treated as inferior to men in this way?

@ xandermark.
Its hard to see anythink wrong with it when its the only way of life your use to I guess

But yeah it kinda sucks

@ Maleficent A
It seems quite contradictory to me that a man can do what he pleases; is he not then, in a sense, defiling women and making them "sluts" (if we were to use your definition)? And as such, why does the punishment only suit the woman?