Would You Keep Your Sexuality Private?

  • spencer hastings.

    spencer hastings. (350)

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    Sorry if there is already a topic about this. I do believe that this is a little different, though.

    A couple of my friends think it is perfectly fine to walk up to somebody and question him/her about his sexuality. They act like it is no big deal, and sometimes the person who is asked acts like it is no big deal, either.

    I am open about my sexuality, but that doesn't mean that I don't think it is at least a little rude if somebody were to come up to me and just ask for my sexuality. Or in any other case. Mostly if I hardly know the person. I am not exactly comfortable with talking about something so personal. And it is pretty personal to me.

    I would still answer the person no matter what, though.

    Would you answer or just walk away? Do you find this to be too personal of a question?
    February 17th, 2011 at 02:09am
  • chai latte

    chai latte (225)

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    People seriously just walk up to other people and ask if they're gay or straight? What the fuck? I was unaware of this.

    Uh yes, I'd probably just walk away if some stranger asked me what gender I prefer to sleep with. Not because I'm embarrassed or even because I consider my sexuality a personal thing, but because that's just rude and... weird.
    February 17th, 2011 at 02:27am
  • Bloodwing

    Bloodwing (150)

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    smoker's delight.:
    People seriously just walk up to other people and ask if they're gay or straight? What the fuck? I was unaware of this.
    Yes, people do this. It happens to me and my friend constantly. It's annoying sometimes and I do find it rude, but I'm honest with them. I have nothing to hide.
    February 17th, 2011 at 03:29am
  • spencer hastings.

    spencer hastings. (350)

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    smoker's delight.:
    People seriously just walk up to other people and ask if they're gay or straight? What the fuck? I was unaware of this.
    I said that I liked a guy once, and my friend just walked right up to him and asked if he is gay or straight when I went to my locker. He told her the truth, that he is gay, but I couldn't believe what she had done when I heard about it a couple days ago. I found it completely inappropriate. Partially because it kind of rained on my parade. And the other part because I thought it was completely inconsiderate.

    And one of my friends volunteered to go up to this guy that I like to ask him about his sexuality. I really didn't find that necessary, because his Facebook tells me the truth, but she said that sometimes Facebook lies. Yeah, because guys say that they are gay on Facebook so girls don't go after them. Or something like that. Note the sarcasm.

    Maybe on the computer it's okay. When I had a Formspring, somebody came on and asked me if I am gay or bi. They didn't even give me the option of being straight. That is a little different, and I found it extremely amusing in a way, and now I can joke about it. I tell my friends that nobody thinks I am actually straight at our school. Which I am pretty sure is true. tehe

    But, in reality, I probably wouldn't be so amused by somebody walking up to me and asking me face-to-face. It's completely inconsiderate. I am not saying that it is not rude over the computer, but I think it's worse in person.
    February 17th, 2011 at 03:49am
  • chai latte

    chai latte (225)

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    Wow. I didn't know there were people out there who are so oblivious to others privacy. I guess I live under a rock. Haha. Like I said, it's not even really the fact that it's rude, but that it's just really, really bizarre.
    February 17th, 2011 at 03:54am
  • spencer hastings.

    spencer hastings. (350)

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    smoker's delight.:
    Wow. I didn't know there were people out there who are so oblivious to others privacy. I guess I live under a rock. Haha. Like I said, it's not even really the fact that it's rude, but that it's just really, really bizarre.
    I know what you mean. This girl who does this that I know is actually a junior. But she can be really oblivious and rude at some times. And sometimes blunt. Yesterday she walked into the library, and didn't even wait a second after the girl she walked in with had turned her back. And then she bluntly told us that she didn't like the girl. That. Simple.

    I think that she's pretty ignorant. And it's not any better when it comes to this. I think this is more likely to happen when somebody doesn't exactly understand how other people might think. It mostly happens when the person doesn't know how to put himself/herself in the other person's shoes.
    February 17th, 2011 at 04:06am
  • Xsoteria

    Xsoteria (100)

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    Well I would be weirded out I suppose, but in the practical sense, for courting purposes, being direct can save people some time and embarrassment. So I suppose it depends on the situation. I would answer every time, for whatever that's worth.
    February 17th, 2011 at 08:14am
  • faster.

    faster. (300)

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    Usually when I'm asked questions like that I just respond sarcastically and make up something ridiculous, just because it's like... who's asks that? haha. That, and it should be really obvious to anyone who knows me that I'm straight since I live with my boyfriend and all.
    February 17th, 2011 at 08:39am
  • Mr. Tony Stark.

    Mr. Tony Stark. (155)

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    I've never had someone come up to me and randomly ask if I was straight or not. I would just stare at them awkwardly if they did, though, because that's just really weird.
    February 17th, 2011 at 01:23pm
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    I've never had someone really randomly ask me. It can come up in conversation. Sometimes I just say I'm bisexual though, if I don't know the person very well or I know them well enough to know they wouldn't "get it" if I told them I was pansexual. Sometimes I just don't want to explain my orientation (because most people don't know what it is) so I just go with bi 'cause it's an easier answer. Not exactly the same thing, but yeah.
    February 18th, 2011 at 07:22am
  • Cursed333

    Cursed333 (150)

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    I never really hide my sexual orientation. I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. I'm a pretty open person in general. Also, I think of in the future if I have kids and they were to be gay or bi I wouldn't ever want them to think that they should be ashamed or have to hide.
    February 18th, 2011 at 10:37pm
  • thelastpainter

    thelastpainter (110)

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    This week I actually had two people do that. But it wasn't just straight out for either of them, to an extent.

    The first girl had found out about my friend dating a bisexual guy. And was saying, "Ew that's gross...," and other things. Then she went around and asked all of our sexualities at the table. When she asked me, I answered honestly, but it was a bit strange. The second person I was more comfortable with. He's my friend who's bisexual, but prefers guys, so it was easier to tell him.

    I don't hide mine, though. I'm extremely open about it and all of my friends know. I even announce it freely in the hallway. Though, no one ever catches on...
    February 19th, 2011 at 01:13am
  • always infinite

    always infinite (100)

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    If somebody just randomly came up to me and asked me what my sexuality is, I don't think I would tell them because I think it's rude to ask them. I'd probably just say it doesn't matter - because it does't. I'm not available, so why should you care?

    However, if it comes up in a conversation (or if a close friend asks), I would say that I like girls. I wouldn't say I'm straight, because I'm not out as male, and I wouldn't say I'm a lesbian, because that makes me uncofortable and I'm not.

    But I do find it odd and quite rude to just bluntly ask somebody "Are you gay or straight?" If you really want to know, don't just bluntly ask. It's nicer to in stead bring it up in a conversation, and don't just go "are you gay?"
    February 19th, 2011 at 12:57pm
  • CyanideRevengex

    CyanideRevengex (100)

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    I've had a lot of acquaintances ask me that randomly and bluntly but since I've gotten used to it, I tell them and walk away.

    I've asked random people but that's because I wanted to ask them something else, and I don't do it impolitely. I ask them if its okay to ask them something personal and say thank you after if they said yes or no.
    February 19th, 2011 at 08:52pm
  • Absolutely Arsenic

    Absolutely Arsenic (100)

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    Only one of my friends knows I'm bi, but if anyone were to ask me, I'd tell them. As far as I'm concerned, if they want to know, they can ask. I'd rather not go around with people judging me as "that bi chick". I'd prefer for them to get to know me first, then judge me based on that.

    So far no one's asked, and I don't really care one way or another.
    February 21st, 2011 at 06:45pm
  • albaphetical

    albaphetical (100)

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    That's such a rude question to ask, out-of-the-blue at least, but I wouldn't hide it. I'm very open about my sexuality, although no one really understands what it is (I'm pansexual).
    February 22nd, 2011 at 12:01am
  • Forever99

    Forever99 (150)

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    Well it depends if the person was a close friend or a stranger of course :)
    February 22nd, 2011 at 01:23am
  • die Bienen Knie

    die Bienen Knie (150)

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    People have asked me before and when I was younger I used to lie about it cus I wasn't comfortable but now I answer them. Usually people ask if me and my fiance are a couple (to which I say yes) but when they ask my sexuality I usually just say I'm gay cus I don't wanna explain transgender to people I don't know.
    February 22nd, 2011 at 03:09am
  • Airi.

    Airi. (2240)

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    I tell them and then walk away. I have no reason to hide my sexuality. If they don't like me being a lesbian, then they're just not worth my time. I've always found questions like that rather rude. I mean, I don't mind it when it just comes up in a conversation, but I find it pretty rude to just randomly ask a person.
    February 22nd, 2011 at 09:20am
  • folie a dru.

    folie a dru. (1270)

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    One reason I ask when I'm veering into that topic (boys, girls, attraction, sex, etc.) is because I don't just want to assume everyone is heterosexual. But I always do the, 'you don't have to tell me' thing. I don't want anyone to feel they have to tell me, but I always don't want to be have the . . . heteronormative(?) viewpoint.
    February 22nd, 2011 at 05:35pm