Would You Keep Your Sexuality Private?

Short answer: My sexuality is my business.

Longer answer: Generally whether or not I disclose it and how I do so depends largely on the people and the situation. There are people in my life or even strangers I encounter that like I don't care if they know I'm bisexual. BUT, I'm both a private person in general and also mostly closeted (because there are important people in my life who would NOT be cool with my sexuality in all likelihood, unfortunately) If some hypothetical rando comes up to me and asks what my sexuality is, I'm probably not going to tell them, unless maybe, maybe I feel like I'm in a place or situation where it would be safe or okay. (Like, say, if I ever go to a gay bar, which I would love to do someday as a bucket list thing.)

I agree, while I enjoy educating understanding people about asexuality I refrain from asking their sexuality because that's their business and they might not be comfortable to discuss it.

It depends on who asks. For example, if someone approached me and asked me what I identified as, I'd probably tell them to fuck off because who randomly does that anyway?

I wouldn't say that I hide it, however. If I am comfortable enough to have an adult conversation with someone, odds are good that it can and has come up and I have no problem talking about it. I also don't wave a flag around.

The long short of it is: no I don't keep it private but I'm not going to disclose ANY personal information to anyone who just walks up to me and asks.

@ spencer hastings.
To tell you the truth I don't really understand why it is so offensive to ask someones sexuality. If for some reason someone doesn't want to share, they don't have to answer. Why do subjects like this have to be so touchy? Can't we just talk about it with out being afraid to offend someone?

esenigma:

@ spencer hastings.
To tell you the truth I don't really understand why it is so offensive to ask someones sexuality. If for some reason someone doesn't want to share, they don't have to answer. Why do subjects like this have to be so touchy? Can't we just talk about it with out being afraid to offend someone?

I would say that certain aspects of a person's life, such as orientation, have been so prone to hostility that it's perfectly understandable why someone would react negatively to being quizzed on it. Until the last few years I think it's fair to say that I'd been asked "are you gay?" in a threatening/belittling tone more times than innocently/casually.

If it's not relevant people don't need to know, it shouldn't matter and it's not like anyone's ever actually asked me. In my experience it's hardly ever important. And I don't want to be all out there just in case, like I live with bigoted people who don't even think people like me exist let alone think we're on equal footing. It's just not safe for me to be out and open like that, even if it was though I doubt I'd be saying it to everyone I met.

Really it depends on the situation, who is asking and why they're asking, being queer's like traversing a minefield, you never know when you'll make some bad footing, accidentally out yourself to the wrong person and have things blow up in your face. I'm always careful about it at work and such places because you never know how someone will treat you after they know.

I really can't tell people I'm asexual because for one, they ask private questions, then they proceed to tell me I need therapy, that I'm missing out or that I will never have a boyfriend of I don't "fix" this.

I had this happen to me recently while I was working at a thrift store called "Savers" in northern Virginia. I don’t have my car anymore at the moment, so I was often stuck waiting around for a uber or a ride after I got off of my shift. One of the girls who worked with me also didn’t have a car, so she'd be outside the store waiting, too. One day we got to talking casually and she asked me outright if I was a lesbian. I didn't know how to answer, and I did think the question was a little too forward since I didn't know her at all. But she didn't seem to be trying to be rude, so I just uncomfortably laughed and said, "What do you think I am?". She said she thought I went both ways maybe. Instead of tell her that I'm NOT sexual at all and never been in a relationship with anyone to know if I might be gay, straight, or bi, I just said,"I don't feel comfortable answering". And she just took it as it is.

Like I wrote, I don't think she was trying to be rude, but I know from this experience that I will try not to ask someone their sexual orientation. I think that it's that person's job to tell you or not tell you if they want. I don’t think anyone should even ask close friends their sexual orientation, because it can be a little bit invasive. I believe that if the person hasn't brought up the subject, then they must not be ready to discuss it.

I remember I had a friend that was a guy in middle school. People used to always tease us and say we were "together". But we were just friends. He eventually told me and my other friend that he was gay when we were about to start High School. The great thing is that it was his choice and on his terms to tell us about his sexual orientation. I didn't care if he was gay or not either way. I was just happy to have him as my friend at the time.

So, in the end, I think asking people about their sexuality is a question best left unasked.