Would You Keep Your Sexuality Private?

I'm generally a little vague in this area simply for the fact that I dislike explaining myself in personal matters, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I hide it.
If we're being honest here, it doesn't particularly matter what I say, people don't tend to believe me.
When people wonder why I don't have a boyfriend, or prod around trying to decipher whether I'm gay or not, I tell them that it's not my area.
Dating, relationships, affection; those things are lost on me. Permenantly single, entirely platonic.
There is nothing wrong about that, certainly not worth hiding, but no one seems able to grasp it, so I tend to keep myself ambiguous.

I'm running into another issue. Me and my boyfriend started casually seeing another couple and I'm worried about displays of affection in public in a nonmonogamous way. "Ashlee" (the other girl), me, and her boyfriend were at the bar and she was holding both of our hands and I was much more 'aware' of the confrontations that might happen over that than I am with anything gay involving myself. It's weird.

I just know that most people in our area will not say anything bad about a gay person (like rude, to their face shit), but I know that most people are monogamy-normative.

Just something I've noticed.

@ dru will wait.
Soooooo ironic because I just saw a show called Taboo, and it was on swingers (which are people who casually have sex outside of their relationship with their partners consent) and personally, I don't think it's that serious. I mean, if they want to and they're able to handle it, then I think it's okay.

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I think I would keep mine secret because although I haven't started having sex yet, I feel like when I do, I'll be doing some serious experimenting. I don't know why. I keep trying to push the thoughts back in my head, but they just keep popping up and they keep getting more and more uh... I can't figure the word... explicit, yeah.

EDIT
I thought this was talking about sexuality, not sexual orientation. Oh well...

I keep my sexuality secret at work, because I think I would be treated differently if the other guys, especially the older guys, knew I was gay. Everywhere else, I'm pretty open about it.

At previous jobs, I tried to keep it secret, but no one really gives a damn about anything at OM, so I've mentioned my female ex in passing a few times. No one's even asked.

i don't really keep it a secret but if i'm put on the spot, as in a customer asks me randomly at work, i'll freeze up and lie about it and say i'm straight. it's sort of like a knee-jerk reaction. most of the time i just say i'm bi instead of pan for the sole reason of saving a very long and very complicated conversation of explaining to them just what exactly "pansexual" means and trying to explain to them once they think they get it that no, it does not mean i'm a slut.
usually once i'm out to a person i usually don't bring it up again. i guess i'm out without being OUT, if that makes any sense, lol.
i'm also glad that mibba gives us the freedom to talk on these matters without any or little persecution.

I don't understand why anyone has that question burning on their minds, I don't see how it matters exactly.

I won't refuse to answer that question, however, I don't like it since it results in a lot of skepticism, uncomfortable questions, and people thinking that I'm unrelatably strange.
Asexuality is such a nonevent until someone asks about it, Christ.

Conversely, I don't really want to be told a persons' sexuality, it's the least entertaining thing about them.

@ Mr Eames
"Asexuality is such a nonevent until someone asks about it" that really sums it up well, I didn't even realize I could word it like that until you pointed it out. I said this in the thread about Homosexuality and "everything else" but I'll restate it here, I suppose.

An acquaintance of mine, who is homosexual, talks to me about his crushes and whatnot. I don't mind at all, but since I identify as asexual currently, I have only told one person about it. This acquaintance then asked me what my (nonexistent) love life was like, as he usually does. I finally said that I was asexual. He burst into laughter---whether it was a nervous laugh or not, I don't know---then covered it up by saying "oh, I know you're serious" after noticing my flat expression.

In short, I guess that's a reason for me to keep my (a)sexuality private. Not that it's something I'm going to be revealing right away to people anyhow.

@ kitsch

Asexuality is in a weird grey area that I'm not sure consists of a "coming out experience", anyone I've ever told I was asexual to has either laughed, or argued that it was "impossible" and that it was the result of either emotional/psychological issues, or a hormonal imbalance. Which is insulting, actually.

So be prepared to get those kinds of responses, unfortunately.

I don't see an issue with telling people my sexuality. It's not something I keep to myself per say, but only one of my friends knows my orientation. If someone asks I'd tell them (although probably not anyone at my school - they're very narrow minded). I don't think it's a highly personal question, just one that may require a bit of trust.

For me I think it depends on who asks it? Not even in a sense of if I know them very well or not. But rather if I get the feeling that the group I'm in is more liberal/accepting then I don't mind telling people that I'm queer. Like it's been such a huge part of me and I've technically been out (to close friends and parents) as young as 14, so it doesn't phase me anymore. But if I can tell I'm in a more conservative group, or less "politically correct" group, then I won't say anything, if only because I know that'll open me up to being the butt of jokes and/or being interrogated on "how/why" I know, etc.

I keep mine a secret mostly because of the people I know. I know nothing but traditional thinking Latinxs. Being Mexican and pansexual don't entirely mix, but I've been making it work for the better part of...six years now? Yeah, six.

I would answer, I don't think its rude unless they start laughing about it or make it into a joke of some sort. Then it is a problem, I don't find it that personal.

I would keep that personal no matter what because it's really rude to ask someone about their sexuality or sex life period. If there are people who want to talk about it that's fine, but there are a lot of people who want to keep their sexuality a secret for personal reasons.

If anybody asked about my sex life/sexuality, I'd probably be a little taken back by it. I think people don't think about their actions. Honestly, when I try to explain to people that I'm pansexual, they get all "ew you have sex with pans?" And it's like, people ask questions when they don't really know what to do with the answer.

I've never really been secretive about my sexuality, except with my family because family is forever and I didn't know if by telling them I was into the same sex (well, all sexes; I'm pansexual) they'd disown me. With friends, school mates, or even strangers, all they have to ask and I'll let them know. If they're cool with it, that's rad. If not, I can easily just walk away and ignore them (or block them if its online).

If it were a complete stranger, I would avoid the question. I have to be comfortable enough with the person and know their views on different sexualities at least enough to guess their reaction before I would even consider sharing that information.

I'm actually pretty open about being bisexual, but that's only online. No one really actually knows I am. The only person in my real life who actually does is my dad to be honest. I've never actually had anyone as me about it, but I guess it'd me uncomfortable because that person might judge me. I do find it rude to randomly ask a person. It's the same as if you were to ask the person about their medical health. Unless the person is someone who has the right to know, then I don't see why a random person should get that right.

I kept it a secret from my parents because I wasn't sure how they'd react but otherwise I was completely open about it. My mom snooped through my emails last year and found and told my dad so that was an uncomfortable conversation. My dad was cool with it, mom wasn't. Brother was totally fine about it. Now my mom is fine. They actually think that I might've been pretending to be gay because of the crowd I was with to fit in? I was like nope, I actually am bisexual guys. Oh well.

A few years ago I somehow found myself interacting semi-frequently with a group of people who asked me this point blank, loudly, and publically on multiple occasions. I didn't appreciate it, but I answered their questions to the best of my ability.
I don't consider my sexuality to be a "secret" it's just something I don't feel is particularly relevant. That being said, there are many reasons and circumstances where a person may want to keep their sexuality private, and since outsiders are not likely privy to these reasons, I think it's careless and disrespectful to draw someone out like that.