Suicide

Would I ever commit suicide?
Most likely.
I go to therapy and shitt, not that it helps.
I know it sounds selfish, but that is of right now most likely be my death cause.
If not now, maybe ten years.
I dont want to have to die of a medical cause or by an accident of some sort.
Ill end it when I feel Im ready to pass on.

Boysex_CottonCandy:

Would I ever commit suicide?
Most likely.
I go to therapy and shitt, not that it helps.
I know it sounds selfish, but that is of right now most likely be my death cause.
If not now, maybe ten years.
I dont want to have to die of a medical cause or by an accident of some sort.
Ill end it when I feel Im ready to pass on.

Therapy does help.

You know why most people think about suicide? It's because they have depression. And depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain.
The best way to correct the imbalance, is to take medication; Anti depressants. And you kinda have to see a therapist if you are on them.

I have tried killing myself before. A lot of times, from cutting, to over dosing on pills, to drinking excessively and I even tried jumping out a window.

But I never could go with it to the full extent, y'know why? Because I was scared.
It's not easy committing suicide- no matter who you are. You have to have a lot of guts and a lot of things fucked up things in your head.

I don't think you will find it easy just to kill yourself because you are ready.

What you have said has cause me to stress out for you.

I used to cut myself, and now I am in therapy. According to my therapist, I am depressed and suicudal... Well I can't say I don't agree with her. However, I find myself trying extremely hard to act happy and lively in front of other people. I can only talk about these kinds of things with really close friends. Personally, I think that life is simply a cycle of making mistakes/experiencing things with the senses, and learning from them or getting something out of them, and then usually passing on your newfound wisdom. There isn't enough depth for me to keep living. To me, life is tedious and unnecessary. I don't really know what to do, as commiting suicide would be kind of inconsiderate to my family and friends. My goal in the rest of my life is to get as many of my peers/family to understand that I do not want to be alive, and when I am convinced that at least some people will be happy for me (which is pretty false hope) I will be able to die. I am already counting down the days.

I guess my experience of suicide is of myself.

And yeah, I have a therapist now.
I only realised how bad it was, tbh, when I had my first meeting with the therapist I have now. We talked about how I thought about death a lot and then she asked "How long have you felt like this?" And I realised I'd been suicidal for 5 years. Which is quite a scary thought. The reason I had a therapist in the first place was because I over-dosed. It wasn't particularly serious and I didn't have to go into hospital until a few days later, when I confided in someone and I had to get checked out. But I didn't know how unserious it was at the time, I thought I could have died. And I actually didn't care. I just thought 'If I die today, I don't have to keep coping, and if I don't, I'll just live to fight another day.'

There was another time, a couple of years later, when I over-dosed accidently and I didn't mean to take as many as I did and got awful stomach pains. I thought I could've died and it scared me to death. I realised I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want to die.

The last time was a few weeks ago, before I started therapy again... after my first attempt I had a course of therapy, but I was convinced I didn't need it and I had everything under control, when everything was the least out of control it had ever been. So it stopped and I went downhill again and started self-harming. But that's another story. But the last suicide attempt, which I think was the most serious, was stopped my MCR. I know it sounds cliched. But bear with me and make of it what you will. I was having what I call 'a black day'. I wanted take away the pain... so I laid out all the pills in my house on the kitchen worktop. Boxes and boxes of them. But then I put The Black Parade on. I listened to the whole album. Instead of staring at the pill boxes in the kitchen, I maxed out the volume on my hi-fi and screamed along in the living room. Then after the album finished, inbetween 'Famous Last Words' and 'Blood' I put every single one of the tablets away again... because I felt that My Chem had given me hope to keep on living again. They had survived and so would I.

I haven't thought quite like that since, especially since I've started seeing a therapist again. I mean, there have been tough times. But I've never wanted to kill myself again, so much that I'd do something about it. I hope it continues. Because I don't think I want to die. I've got friends now and family that actually care. And, stupid as it sounds, I don't want to let My Chem down. I know they don't know me and never will... but I want to be a fan who listened and kept on living, not who gave up. I want to be living proof that they made a difference. But I want to keep surviving not only for them; family, friends and MCR, but for me too... I want to see what I can do.

Redemption:

I used to cut myself, and now I am in therapy. According to my therapist, I am depressed and suicudal... Well I can't say I don't agree with her. However, I find myself trying extremely hard to act happy and lively in front of other people. I can only talk about these kinds of things with really close friends. Personally, I think that life is simply a cycle of making mistakes/experiencing things with the senses, and learning from them or getting something out of them, and then usually passing on your newfound wisdom. There isn't enough depth for me to keep living. To me, life is tedious and unnecessary. I don't really know what to do, as commiting suicide would be kind of inconsiderate to my family and friends. My goal in the rest of my life is to get as many of my peers/family to understand that I do not want to be alive, and when I am convinced that at least some people will be happy for me (which is pretty false hope) I will be able to die. I am already counting down the days.

Y'know, you are very lucky to be alive, you should take it and take hold of it. You never know, you could do something amazing. Why waste that opportunity? Now, yes, you hate life...But things change when you get older.

Collision Kiss:

... I want to see what I can do.

I don't want to end things because the future is a lot longer than I've even been around for so far.

Maybe I'm just rolling with the punches and keeping afloat.

Maybe that'll stay the same, maybe something great will happen.

I'm strong enough to wait, and try as hard as I can, and enjoy myself ...
Maybe that seems silly.
Maybe it's nothing to be proud of.

But we do what we can.

=]

I know things will change, but it all falls into that cycle for me, and doesn't seem worth living. I'm just really confused about teh idea of life itself

Redemption:

I know things will change, but it all falls into that cycle for me, and doesn't seem worth living. I'm just really confused about teh idea of life itself

Every body is.

I've definitely thought about suicide...I find it hard to believe that anyone hasn't. But actually going through with it? I'd never be able to. The thought of taking that chance away from myself is just...Horrible...

As much as I think suicide is a completely selfish option, I can't help the thoughts. I don't get them much, but...There are those days when I just think, "Is it really worth it?" And then I sulk and get mad at someone for a while, then go to bed and I'm usually fine the next day.

Suicide just seems like such a bad idea to me. I mean, what happens to the people who love you? How many of them are going to think it's their fault? There's a lot more to think about than just how you're going to do it, when you're thinking of suicide.

For an english paper I'm writing about suicide. People who think about suicide don't necessarily want to die, they just cant deal with living anymore.

You only have one life, there are other alternatives.

i think suicide is selfish
you have a life
make the most of it
i understand depression and dont get me wrong ive been there myself but ive never had a second (or first for that matter) thought about cutting or killing myself
i just couldnt do it and i think that those who do kill themselves are not worthy of their life
but i dont hate those who are suicidal or anything...i just dont think they see how luckey they are that they actually have a life

bats_are_my_army:

i think suicide is selfish

In a way yes, actually, mostly yes, but the person committing suicide doesn't think so.

yeah i know i dont think anyone would admit to doing something selfish
i just dont see why anyone with a life feels they should make themselves not worthy of it
-personally

They couldn't admit it if they were dead...

Suicide is selfish to other people, but the person who wants to commit it, may think that the people around them are selfish because the suicidal person has to go through the pain of life so others don't have to feel pain of their suicide. :cheese: That was a lot to say..
That's what I used to think to myself.

One reason I was scared about killing myself was, what if there is nothing after death? And if there is, I would go to hell from killing myself and be in more pain.

My mind would just keep making excuses.

That's what I was scared of too - what if there IS nothing, no heaven, no hell, we just cease to exist :cheese:

bats_are_my_army:

i think suicide is selfish
you have a life
make the most of it
i understand depression and dont get me wrong ive been there myself but ive never had a second (or first for that matter) thought about cutting or killing myself
i just couldnt do it and i think that those who do kill themselves are not worthy of their life
but i dont hate those who are suicidal or anything...i just dont think they see how luckey they are that they actually have a life

I think it's more selfish of the other people to keep someone here while they suffer so much. It's their life, and they have a right to end it if they see fit to. I don't mean for every depressed person to take their own life,but if someone is genuinely suffering and life is nothing but pain to them, then they should be able to decide if they want to carry on that way anymore.

There is no suffering in being alive, everything can be fixed, everything has a "cure" per-say.

"Euthanaisia" [I can't spell] shouldn't be abused as much as it is.

I think it was Nietsche who said the one question in life was,

''Should I kill myself''.

After that life is yours.

SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER.
So many people suffer everyday, but it doesn't mean they should just kill themselves.
If that was the case, most of Africa would be dead. Most of the homeless would be dead. Most of cancer patients would be dead.
You can fix things, if not, TRY and live life to the full extent.
Trust me, when you get older, things will become more clear.