Woman Allows 16 Year Old Daughter to Marry 51 Year Old Man

Fitzwilliam Darcy:

But at 18 you haven't experienced everything in life, in fact, you're just beginning your life, becoming a legal adult in some places etc,.

Pretty much this.

Whilst I don't actually care about this case or people who do marry young, I do not like the idea that:

Sixteen - Immature and inexperienced.
Eighteen - Supermature and experienced.

Some people are mature at sixteen, some people aren't at eighteen. It seems ridiculous to say that it is a black-and-white distinction.

Court_So_Crispy:

Would I let my daughter marry a 51 year old man? NEVER. He's probably a pedophile wanting someone young, and I personally think it is disgusting and repulsive.

Um, he's not a pedophile if he wants a girl who looks like a woman. Pedophiles want young children. The child must be under the age of five for the individual to be considered a pedophile. The interest of adults in older teenagers (15 and older) is termed Ephebophilia.

dru protects herself:

Um, he's not a pedophile if he wants a girl who looks like a woman. Pedophiles want young children. The child must be under the age of five for the individual to be considered a pedophile.

I thought it was considered paedophilia if the child is pre-pubescent? That would then include children probably up to 10 or 11. Either way, your point stands, and I agree with you.

Alex; subterfuge.:

I thought it was considered paedophilia if the child is pre-pubescent? That would then include children probably up to 10 or 11. Either way, your point stands, and I agree with you.

You are right. i read something wrong on my page. Pedophilia up to 11 years of age, then hebephilia, then Ephebophilia.

But I don't think this man should be considered either of those unless we have proof of a history of attraction to sixteen year old girls. Him being attracted to one does not count. And if he didn't sleep with her before they were married, then there's nothing wrong with him sleeping with his wife now. (I'm not for this marriage, I just don't want this guy to be classified as a baby rapist.)

dru protects herself:

And if he didn't sleep with her before they were married, then there's nothing wrong with him sleeping with his wife now. (I'm not for this marriage, I just don't want this guy to be classified as a baby rapist.)

I disagree that just because they're married makes it ok for someone to sleep with a minor. By that logic, child brides would be fine so long as someone's signed a marriage certificate.

Kurtni:

I disagree that just because they're married makes it ok for someone to sleep with a minor. By that logic, child brides would be fine so long as someone's signed a marriage certificate.

So at the age of sixteen, sleeping with your wife is sick and disgusting, but at the magical age of 18, it's alright?

ciao bella.:

So at the age of sixteen, sleeping with your wife is sick and disgusting, but at the magical age of 18, it's alright?

... I said I disagreed that marriage makes all sexual relations ok and it shouldn't be the deciding factor; I said nothing about those specific ages.

Kurtni:

I disagree that just because they're married makes it ok for someone to sleep with a minor. By that logic, child brides would be fine so long as someone's signed a marriage certificate.

Once married, you are legally emancipated and able to make your own decisions for yourself, according to the law.

dru protects herself:

Once married, you are legally emancipated and able to make your own decisions for yourself, according to the law.

I know that, I just don't think that's a good thing. You can get married when you're 14 in some states (as a child in some countries) and I think that the marriage alone does not automatically mean you're prepared for sexual relationships and adulthood, nor is it ethical for parents to permit them.

^All I was saying is that there is a fine line between childhood and adulthood, and everyone crosses said line at different times, so to say that just because someone is a minor (in this case 16) that they cannot make their own sexual decisions is kind of undermining their potential "adulthood" in their mind. I know I was completely an immature child at 16. Hell, I still am at 19, but that does not mean that there are no 16 year olds who are more mature than I ever will be.

Kurtni:

I know that, I just don't think that's a good thing. You can get married when you're 14 in some states (as a child in some countries) and I think that the marriage alone does not automatically mean you're prepared for sexual relationships and adulthood, nor is it ethical for parents to permit them.

I agree. I'm just not for labeling someone who didn't do anything wrong as a pedophile.

13 year old has sex with a 41 year old teacher, then they get married and are now pregnant.

I think this could be an example of one of thhose rare exceptions, where a young person is mature enough to enter a relationship with someone older.

I just can't help but think whether the public outcry would be as mild as it was about this, if this was a case of a young girl and an older man and not the other way around.

I think that's an example of child abuse and a teacher perverting her role as an educator. I can't believe she didn't face criminal prosecution, if not for pedophilia and statutory rape, then for violating the terms of her teaching agreement with the district.

^It seems plenty of people agree that it would be wrong if she was prosecuted and ended up in jail if no harm was done, the kid wasn't traumatised or abused. Putting her in jail would benefit no one and I tend to agree there. That is, if things really are the way they say they are.

Also, in local law, if they waited like 6 months till his birthday, it all would have been perfectly legal.

^ But they didn't wait six months to his birthday - why?
If you're really in love, and at that age I don't personally believe he would have known much about it, then why not just wait until it wasn't illegal by local law anymore? Surely it would have been worth the wait for "true love"? I think it's really horrible actually, and I agree with everything Kurtni said. And I don't for a second think he was "mature enough to enter a relationship with someone older".

^You think 6 months would transform him into a significantly more mature young man who can suddenly make these decisions?

Xsoteria:

^You think 6 months would transform him into a significantly more mature young man who can suddenly make these decisions?

No, I think 6 months would have made it legal and if they really loved each other and he's apparently mature enough for such a relationship they would have been mature enough to wait.

^Well that's not really about maturity, now is it? I agree it's smart not to get in conflict with the local law, but it's hardly a relative point to determine if you're ready for sex/relationship.

^ Surely if you're mature enough to enter a relationship at 13 you'd also be mature enough to make the smart decision to wait six months to make sure your girlfriend can't get in trouble for it?

^Not really. Even if waiting for additional 6 months was a matter of maturty, it's not like you can't be immature about one thing and then be mature about something else.