Woman Allows 16 Year Old Daughter to Marry 51 Year Old Man

^ However, I've never said I believe he was mature in any way. I don't. He was 13, which is a child, and barely a teenager. I think it's really horrible and alarming and frightening. Not romantic, or cute, or that he was in any way ready or mature enough to be in a relationship. That they're still together isn't to me proof that "oh but he was ready for it". And I think, like Kurtni mentioned, that the teacher completely perverted her role as tutor and I'm shocked that there wasn't more consequences.

^As I said, I think that there wasn't any more consequences since it was an event that took place in an environment where laws for consent are lower and of course, the gender stereotype in which boys are considered lucky if they score at that young of an age, as opposed to girls who are horribly abused in the same situation.

I don't pretend to know how he feels or what actually went on, but I'll never be an advocate of victimless crimes, no matter how taboo-ish they are. And it seems to me that no one got hurt or damaged in the process here (again, can't tell for sure from just a few articles).

The man is rich and famous and she is unbelievably hot. I don't think love was the only factor here.

While such age gaps tend to gross me out personally, I think it depends on how old the older person looks and feels. For example, I could so marry George Clooney; he is looking great for his age and since he works out etc. his mind is also aging slowly. I'm not 16 anymore, but I think as long as a person doesn't look "old" as in "really, really nursing home old", the age gap is easier to ignore than when you feel like your lover's nurse. I had a great fling once with a guy whose hair was turning grey, but he was intelligent, charming, interesting, a great lay, so if it hadn't been for the circumstances under which we met, I wouldn't have had a problem. Or Obama. The man is HOT. Speaking of Obama, race is also an issue; Asians and African-Americans (as in mixed/lighter) tend to look younger than their Caucasian peers. Humans are sight-oriented, so no much difference would be made between Madonna on a good day and Kerli in the morning.

Last but not least, if they're happy, who's to judge them?

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@ manicpixienightmare
I think once the kid is 18 it really doesn't matter. But minors really do have a different mindset. I really just wouldn't want my kid to marry so young, even if the other person was their age. I hope my kids get married in their thirties. But age gaps stop mattering once you're an adult. I think they REALLY stop mattering as long as two people have similar world experience (paying bills, having a job, etc.).

I watched the marriage counseling show they were on on VH1. It's not a power thing for him - she has it all! Anything she wanted, he'd break his neck to get it / do it. And he defended her fiercely against the other couples in the therapy. And as far as I know - they are in fact still married. The psychologist working with them even made a statement that she had the mindset that "she was the victim and he was a predator" and she said she was proven wrong. They are a genuinely married couple with marital problems, like anyone else.

Personally, I wouldn't let my kids marry underage - but I wouldn't sign for them to do anything underage (tattoo, piercing, etc.) because if it went wrong or they regretted it, I wouldn't want to hear the "Mom, WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THAT?"

So while I wouldn't let my children do it or want to do it myself (but then again, I'm not in love with anyone or even close to being in that position), however, I think that if that's what they wanted and are happy and it's legal, who am I to judge?

Besides, lets get real, it's not like huge age gaps in marriages are something new. Historically, it was probably more common than not.

ALSO, age of consent varies from state to state. It is 16 in my state. I'm not sure about where they were / are though.

Pretty much sums up how I'm gonna be when my daughter is old enough to "date". And, a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old? How about no. I'm sensing some daddy issues here.

@ river song.
I always find shirts like that so sexist. They practically liken women to property. "She's mine, but I'll let you borrow her for awhile if I deem you worthy."

river song.:

And, a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old? How about no. I'm sensing some daddy issues here.

That type of thinking is ridiculously out of date and offensive.

@ dru vs. slut shaming
It is simply for humour and nothing more. If you really want to get technical about it, it's the dad being overprotective because he loves her. I don't see how the saying on this shirt likens women to property because most of the rules (except for 4, 8, and 10) don't even involve the pronouns 'she' or 'her'. If you want to micro-analyse this, I can see why number 8 would fall under 'women=property', but again, there's a difference between a daughter and a nice leather couch. The dad wouldn't consider the couch his princess. Number 10 is stating a fact and 4 goes back to being overprotective. Of a daughter and not a leather couch.

This is the 21st century, I would think most fathers would take MUCH better care of a daughter than a leather couch. (Again, most) fathers aren't getting anything out of a 'trade' like this. And sexism was probably one of the last messages the company was trying to put across when they marketed this shirt. If they did want to market sexism (god forbid), I'm sure they would've done it in a much different way. Sexism was probably one of the last things a lot of people thought of when looking at this shirt as well.

It's just a shirt, and as a fellow female, I found it quite harmless and funny.

I don't mean to make your argument sound invalid, but please don't look for controversy where there isn't any. Like I said, it's just a shirt that people look at to laugh at but never buy.

@ she's so high.
Whereas I tend to think companies find sexism against women laughable and sellable and don't tend to think about whether or not it might anger "angry feminists" because that isn't their target audience and they simply don't give a shit.

I don't think it is sexism against women. That shirt is mocking parents who are overprotective of their daughters. It has to do with the fact that your parents will always see you as their little baby, despite your age or gender.

river song.:

http://cdn-s3-2.wanelo.com/product/image/6421831/original.jpg

Pretty much sums up how I'm gonna be when my daughter is old enough to "date". And, a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old? How about no. I'm sensing some daddy issues here.

The Master:

That type of thinking is ridiculously out of date and offensive.

If it was a 51 years old woman trying to marry my 16 years old son I still would be against it. Doesn't matter how open minded I try to be I can't find other reasons for this marriage except for sex (mommy issues?) and/or money.

I agree that age gaps aren't an issue for a lot of couples. But things are different when you're a teenager and know nothing about life (but think you know everything) and barely had any time to date, have sex and find out what relationships are about. The fact that this is legal doesn't mean it is a very bright idea.

here

I may or may not read celebrity gossip on the Daily Mail sometimes. Don't judge me.

They are in sex therapy. I mean, seriously. She's my age and needing sex therapy because her husband can't keep up with her. I feel a bit sorry for her, she deserved better than this.

This is just one of the problems of marrying someone so much older than yourself. When your libido is peaking, your husband's is declining.

Filth in the Beauty:

Doesn't matter how open minded I try to be I can't find other reasons for this marriage except for sex (mommy issues?) and/or money.

One reason could be that they love each other.

Filth in the Beauty:

I agree that age gaps aren't an issue for a lot of couples. But things are different when you're a teenager and know nothing about life (but think you know everything) and barely had any time to date, have sex and find out what relationships are about. The fact that this is legal doesn't mean it is a very bright idea.

Although age gaps can be an issue because of this, what about couples who marry right after high school, or during high school? They are also marrying young, and have not seen much of the world (or have had much experience with relationships).

Filth in the Beauty:

They are in sex therapy. I mean, seriously. She's my age and needing sex therapy because her husband can't keep up with her. I feel a bit sorry for her, she deserved better than this.

This is just one of the problems of marrying someone so much older than yourself. When your libido is peaking, your husband's is declining.

Although libido is an issue when comparing a person in their sexual prime to a person much older than them, it is also an issue for people who are the same age; there are also plenty of reasons for people your age, or any age, to go to sex therapy besides that. Libido is a problem many couples will face (whether a "normal" couple or not) and seek help for.

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This being said, I don't think being married as a minor is necessary. After one becomes an adult, I think love is love and they're welcome to be as happy or unhappy as any other couple on the planet.

@ Filth in the Beauty

The reason I stated that such thinking was out-dated was in reference to the "daddy issues" aspect. Such Freudian notions are dead in Modern Psychology.

@ Name Of Misery.

Name Of Misery.:

One reason could be that they love each other.

Sure, they may love each other, but as nice as it sounds, I don't think love is reason enough to marry.
I think marriage is a thing for equal partners, people who have some common ground to bond over and build a relationship on or something. In a relationship with say, 10-15 years age difference between two adult people I don't see a problem, but I can't imagine how that would work in a relationship with a 35 years age gap and when one of the partners is barely out of her teens -if their marriage is based purely on love.
To sum things up, love doesn't conquer all, imo.

Name Of Misery.:

Although age gaps can be an issue because of this, what about couples who marry right after high school, or during high school? They are also marrying young, and have not seen much of the world (or have had much experience with relationships).

Same thing. Age gap or not, I don't think marriage at this point of life is a very smart idea.

Name Of Misery.:

Although libido is an issue when comparing a person in their sexual prime to a person much older than them, it is also an issue for people who are the same age; there are also plenty of reasons for people your age, or any age, to go to sex therapy besides that. Libido is a problem many couples will face (whether a "normal" couple or not) and seek help for.

Sure, but I was talking about this case specifically. I don't know any other 18-years-old doing sex therapy and I found it almost sad.

I agree completely with @ Filth in the Beauty on this.

I don't think age difference is an issue if both parties are consenting adults, but sixteen is too young to make such a huge, important, life-altering decision whether or not her parents allowed it.

My best friend got married at 18 to a guy who was only ten years older than her, but she'll tell you now what a big mistake it was - not only because he took advantage of a teenage girl (which he did), but also because she wasn't ready for that yet. The ink on her high school diploma had hardly dried and she agreed to marry someone when she hadn't lived long enough to know who SHE was and what she wanted out of life.

I'm not saying it shouldn't have been allowed, especially considering I don't even know these people, but I can say with confidence that if this girl doesn't regret this decision yet, she will in due time.

In my opinion, if the girl wanted to do it, and her parents were okay with it, then sure, awesome. More power to her.

But personally, if I had kids I wouldn't let them do that. Not because of the age difference, or social expectations or whatever. But because;
1. What if she ends up getting pregnant, but then the dude divorces her? She'll be a baby raising a baby. Unless she decides to give it up/abort it, but even then that isn't something I'd want her to have to deal with at that age.
2. Um...What if he dies? She'll be devastated, and I wouldn't want her to go through that.

@ Darlig Lioness
Those are both things that could likely happen to your daughter no matter what age she marries. 51 isn't that old, so he's not likely to croak in the next few years unless he has serious heart issues.

I agree that I wouldn't let my daughter do it because statistically marriages are more likely to work out when you're older and have life experience.

But it's not uncommon for adult women to get pregnant and get left or for adult women to have a husband die.

@ dru vs. slut shaming
Yeah I know, but I was just talking about this instance/scenario...

@ Darlig Lioness
But doesn't your opinion in this instance have to do with the age difference? Otherwise why so much concern about things adult women face?