Woman Allows 16 Year Old Daughter to Marry 51 Year Old Man

@ Name Of Misery.
I was only going on the information I read in one of the articles in the first post. I still find it a bit odd how they didn't disclose ages- you would think that's one of the first things you mention when talking online. Also, if he was the teacher then he is kinda abusing his position of power and should have known it was wrong to date a pupil, regardless of age.

@ Peponi
I suppose the girl lied and said she was 18 so she could take the relationship further (and so it would be legal). I do agree with you about the student-teacher relationship issue.

Love or no love, you have to admit that it is still a bit weird for a 16 year old to marry a 51 year old. Maybe she understands everything and they can easily talk about politics/whatever they're into, and I have nothing against them (let them do whatever they want as long as it's legal) but... if you don't even slightly admit that it's a bit weird, then well.... Even if I was 16 and marrying a 51 year old, I'd admit it's a bit weird.
As for age and 'child', sure she's not a 'little girl' but she's not an adult either - lets keep that in mind, shall we? Adult isn't till you're 18/20 as far as I'm aware (depending on where you're from). 16 - you're still a teenager. You're still in school. Last time I checked, the only adults in school are the teachers, staff or others who work there. Not teenagers/kids.

Oh well, this is old anyways.

No, that's completely ridiculous. Mostly because the girl is so young. She's not going to be able to experience things normally and have real freedom, or even finish growing up properly. It's proven that our brains aren't fully developed until we're in our twenties, especially our decision making skills, so its not fair for her mother to let her do this to herself. I look back at times when I was younger and I made the stupidest decisions and mistakes, and it was just because I wasn't mature enough to have made the right decisions because of my age. The girl is too young to be making such a decision and her mother is letting her throw her life away. She won't be able to behave like someone of her age/maturity level because she'll be in this legal binding. Besides, I saw her on some marriage counseling show so its obvious that their marriage isn't going well. My grandma married when she was 16 and every time she and I hang out, she's like, "I was married at your age, imagine being married right now!" and she talks about how big of a mistake it was. And don't even get me started on the guy. He's going to die when she's still really young. The idea of thinking of this as a serious marriage is just ridiculous. They're obviously using each other, and everything about it is pretty wrong.

I'm not really a big fan of the idea. First he is old enough to be her father and she is not even a legal adult. No, sorry I don't support this marriage.

This is awful.. how do things like this happen?

This is old but I thought I'd throw my two cents in anyway.

The circumstances regarding the actual marriage in question are not ours to judge. We don't know how they truly feel about one another, so it isn't at all fair to say they're using one another and that it's all for show. Another person's experiences, similar or not, are irrelevant. These two aren't your grandparents or your friend who got married at the same age and cites it as the biggest mistake of their lives. I have a friend who got married at nineteen — a legal, consenting adult, with a brain and whose mother did not have to sign off on her marriage — and she divorced a year later. It had nothing to do with her age or maturity level; rather, the two simply weren't compatible. It doesn't matter. These two people aren't our friends or family.

I think age is relative in matters like this. Some people are more mature than others their age and some more immature, but it varies from person to person. It isn't fair to say all sixteen-year-olds are too immature to get married and that all eighteen-year-olds or twenty-somethings are.

Also, the argument that he is going to die before her is irrelevant as well. You're assuming they're both going to live healthy lives and die of natural causes when it's their time, and in that case, maybe he will die before her. When you wake up in the morning, regardless of how old you are, there's a 50/50 chance you're going to die that day. However, I don't think she's ignorant to this fact.

Now, would I let my daughter marry someone 35 years older than her? Maybe. It really depends on the child I raised and the person she's trying to marry, but I don't put much stock into marriage anyway. I don't think it's the true indicator of a relationship; of two people who love one another. If my daughter claims to truly love this individual, and he feels the same about her, I don't think I would tell her she couldn't marry him. If it ends in divorce a month or ten years later, that's life.

@ chibs telford
Not trying to be rude, but your friend marrying at 19 and it not working out could have had to do with her age. That is an age with the rate of divorce statistics are higher. Divorce statistics go down the older you get and if you have a college education. (I think people should marry in their 30s if they don't want to get divorced; 19 does indicated an extreme lack of life experience as an adult in the world, which is experience I think couples need before they get married. And I have friends who marry young and I don't think they're doing the wrong thing, which just goes to show that statistics don't always apply, but they do give you a large, broad picture of what to expect.)

Sorry, but if your'e going to say examples shouldn't be used negatively, yours shouldn't really be used positively because either example can be torn down.

@ drumonster.
Not rude; I understand what you're saying. I should've worded it better but what I meant to say was married people at any age can get divorced for any reason, not just age. She's 22 and remarried and happy, so I suppose her first divorce could've been due to age, but for her personally it seems unlikely. Not that it matters. These are two totally different people irrelevant to the story at hand.

chibs telford:

This is old but I thought I'd throw my two cents in anyway.

The circumstances regarding the actual marriage in question are not ours to judge.

It kind of is our job to judge though, especially in situations that can lead to abuse like child marriages. Society has to have laws to protect children from people who do not have their best interests at heart. It doesn't really have anything to do with being in love or genuine feelings- we can't legislate love, but we can say that minors marrying creates a dangerous situation and should be regulated (in this case, parental consent is required, in some cases even with parental consent marrying a minor would be outright forbidden). I think laws like that are important.

chibs telford:

I have a friend who got married at nineteen — a legal, consenting adult, with a brain and whose mother did not have to sign off on her marriage — and she divorced a year later. It had nothing to do with her age or maturity level; rather, the two simply weren't compatible.

I of course don't know your friend, but with more life experience (maturity), I think young divorcees probably would have realized they weren't compatible before marriage. I think in very short, young marriages, it has everything to do with your age and gilded views of marriage. And I don't think that's demeaning, it's not insulting to call it immature, it's just accurate. We expect 18/19 year old teenagers to be immature, they're entitled to be immature and grow as people.

And as someone who got married at 20, I know that probably sounds hypocritical, but I think it's something young people who decide to get married need to be aware of, I still think about it continually. You haven't experienced much of adult life, you're at a disadvantage, and your marriage is probably going to need more work and empathy to be successful than someone who gets married at 30. You can't go into it thinking love is all it takes and you'll be playing house.

@ Kurtni
I get what you're saying, and to an extent I agree with it, but I don't think there's any point in arguing over whether they got married because they actually love each other or for some other reason. There's no way to know, and speculating doesn't really do any good. I'm sure neither one is going to come out and say, "Yeah, I married him because he's an actor with money" or "I married her because she's young and pretty."

Her mother knows her child better than we do, and she signed off on it. Not saying it's right or okay just because she did that, but that was her responsibility as a parent and I feel it's more her place than ours to judge.

As for marriage ages, I think it goes both ways. In my friend's example, she had already been out on her own for a good amount of time with the military. She married someone else from the military. Not saying you're wrong at all, obviously you've been there, but I don't know that in her particular case it was age that caused her divorce. Almost everyone in my family -- parents included -- didn't marry until they were in their 30s and they're all divorced and remarried, most divorced again. (Then again, that might say something about my family, lol.)

///////////////

They are getting divorced.
Article.

Um.. Well if she wasn't forced and REALLY loves him then I see no problem. But 35 years older? I don't know just seems... eww... to me but like I said love is love and others have different opinions on it.
Do I think the mom should have said yes? Actually no because yes you can know love at 16 my father did and is still married to my mother 13 years later so I know you can. But at 16, your also very hormonal for whatever your lil heart desires so, no.. She could have waited till she was 18, and with that time they'd know if it actually was love because if one of them couldn't do two years of wait then it's not love.

I think that love is love but I think she should have at least waited until she was not a minor anymore to marry because that would have given her more time to think things through and she would now better than she does now, and she would know what she really wanted. She would also be a legal adult by then.

Honestly I think sixteen is a little young for anyone to get married. However, I don't know the circumstances around their relationship.The age difference worries me though.

I mean I have been with the same man since was a freshman in high school and it has worked out. (It's been about nine years.)

Yikes... I don't know about it. Personally, if a 51 year old dude was checking me out, I would be all creeped out. But maybe that's just me. Haha

I really wish the mother could have waited until the daughter turned 18... I think it wouldn't have blown up so crazily if she was legally considered an adult. Major publicity is hard, IMO... but then again, maybe she doesn't mind.
I read about the girl before. In her video interviews, she's all up on him or giving him these crazy bedroom eyes. I personally think she's feeling lusty, more than love. On a random note, her boobs are huge.

^ Agreed, the part about waiting until she was eighteen.

This is a tough one! I think sixteen is too young to make the decision to marry an fifty-one year old. However, if the mom approved, then maybe she felt her daughter was mature enough? I think it's a tough call.

This thread lasted longer than the marriage. I think that statement speaks for whether or not the marriage was the right decision for a teenager.

I definitely think it was wrong for the marriage to ever have happened. Sixteen year olds of the world, when I was sixteen, I would have flipped out at myself for saying this, but a sixteen year old does not have the life experience to get married. Hell, I don't think most people in their twenties do either.

Also, to add to the creepiness of that particular marriage. They met online. He started hitting on her when she was like, 14 or 15 and the first time they ever met was at their wedding. This isn't me making that up. That's what they said in an interview. They even openly talked about how she was a virgin when they got married. That right there screams to me that this is just creepy. I honestly believe that this was a way to get around statutory rape laws, and her parents helped.

Also, I swear on my life if a story comes out in the future about that girl and it's revealed that she was repeatedly molested or something by her family? I will absolutely not be surprised.