Woman Allows 16 Year Old Daughter to Marry 51 Year Old Man

LoveIsEternal:

But more a higher percentage of children are born with abnormalities. So I am basing my arguments on facts.

Some people carry risky genes from their parents or grandparents - should they also not be allowed to have children because of these risks? I mean, at the end of the day statistics might say that people over 40 carry greater risks, but that doesn't mean at all that anyone who has children can't have complications during or after the pregnancy. It's always a risk and always a gamble when you have children. Just because they may statistically have greater risks at getting pregnant than if he'd been ten years younger doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to have children if they want.

LoveIsEternal:

For the record, Ive never even heard of such a thing as a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old, and if I did, it didnt work out for them. And again, its not about knowing them personally, its about age difference. At 16 you havent even experienced life yet, at 51, hes old enough to be her father/grandfather.

So you've never heard of it, but IF you had, you're assuming that it wouldn't have worked out? I'm sorry, but... how can you decide that? Especially since you're not basing it on anything.

I'm not saying the age difference isn't something that could be an issue, I'm saying you or anyone else except for her parents have a right to decide for her. And no one, not even her parents, have the right to decide what she does or doesn't feel.

LoveIsEternal:

But more a higher percentage of children are born with abnormalities. So I am basing my arguments on facts.

What I'm saying is, they can still have a healthy baby. They may have a higher percentage but they still have that right to create a baby whenever they want.

LoveIsEternal:

For the record, Ive never even heard of such a thing as a 16 year old marrying a 51 year old, and if I did, it didnt work out for them. And again, its not about knowing them personally, its about age difference. At 16 you havent even experienced life yet, at 51, hes old enough to be her father/grandfather.

My cousin Ashley is a few months older than me and she started seeing her (now husband) when she was in high school. He was in his late 50's (he was her teacher) at the time. They got married when she was eighteen or nineteen and they've been happily married for three years AND have two beautiful & healthy babies.

Quintessential Bella:

So you've never heard of it, but IF you had, you're assuming that it wouldn't have worked out? I'm sorry, but... how can you decide that? Especially since you're not basing it on anything.

I'm not saying the age difference isn't something that could be an issue, I'm saying you or anyone else except for her parents have a right to decide for her. And no one, not even her parents, have the right to decide what she does or doesn't feel.

How could I be deciding for her if the marriage already happened?

Jewel Nicole:

My cousin Ashley is a few months older than me and she started seeing her (now husband) when she was in high school. He was in his late 50's (he was her teacher) at the time. They got married when she was eighteen or nineteen and they've been happily married for three years AND have two beautiful & healthy babies.

Obviously then they are in the lower percentage of peole who have healthy babies over the age of forty, that doesnt mean that everyones babies are going to come out healthy. And its not just the baby. the mother has risks to.

LoveIsEternal:

How could I be deciding for her if the marriage already happened?

You've clearly decided that she doesn't really know what love is and that she's not ready for marriage and that it won't work out. And that they shouldn't have children.

LoveIsEternal:

Obviously then they are in the lower percentage of peole who have healthy babies over the age of forty, that doesnt mean that everyones babies are going to come out healthy. And its not just the baby. the mother has risks to.

& It doesn't mean that everyone's baby is going to be born with an abnormality.

Any woman that becomes pregnant has risks. Any of them. No matter the age.

^^ although the risk are highly increased for 40 +.

^ And the risks can also be highly increased if you carry genes from unhealthy parents, grandparents, etc. Genes you may not even know you carry. That doesn't mean that no one should have kids because of the potential risk.

Jewel Nicole:

& It doesn't mean that everyone's baby is going to be born with an abnormality.

Any woman that becomes pregnant has risks. Any of them. No matter the age.

BUT for the millionth time, the risk is even HIGHER as you age.

Quintessential Bella:

^ And the risks can also be highly increased if you carry genes from unhealthy parents, grandparents, etc. Genes you may not even know you carry. That doesn't mean that no one should have kids because of the potential risk.

I never said you shoudlnt have a baby if you carry genes with abnormalities, no one should be deprived of having something such as beautiful child of their own. but that doesnt mean it isnt a risk.

LoveIsEternal:

BUT for the millionth time, the risk is even HIGHER as you age.

So? It doesn't matter if the risk is higher or not, it doesn't mean they should be denied the right to procreate.

LoveIsEternal:

I never said you shoudlnt have a baby if you carry genes with abnormalities, no one should be deprived of having something such as beautiful child of their own. but that doesnt mean it isnt a risk.

Well, what your insinuating is that the two of them shouldn't have a child... and that's depriving them of that....

LoveIsEternal:

I never said you shoudlnt have a baby if you carry genes with abnormalities, no one should be deprived of having something such as beautiful child of their own. but that doesnt mean it isnt a risk.

What we're saying is that there's ALWAYS a risk. The fact that he's over 40 shouldn't mean they're not allowed to have children, just because it has a slightly higher risk. Because as we've already pointed out, there's always a risk. And now you're admitting yourself that no one should be deprived of having children.

Quintessential Bella:

^ And the risks can also be highly increased if you carry genes from unhealthy parents, grandparents, etc. Genes you may not even know you carry. That doesn't mean that no one should have kids because of the potential risk.

And I never said they shouldn't have kids. I'm saying that if they know that the risk is there, should they risk it. I personally wouldn't. Others may, of course. I know woman who have and who have had healthy and extremely unhealthy children.

Robert Pattinson:

And I never said they shouldn't have kids. I'm saying that if they know that the risk is there, should they risk it. I personally wouldn't. Others may, of course. I know woman who have and who have had healthy and extremely unhealthy children.

But you can't possibly know if you carry hidden genes that may complicate your pregnancy. Does that mean you're not going to risk a pregnancy at all?

Quintessential Bella:

But you can't possibly know if you carry hidden genes that may complicate your pregnancy. Does that mean you're not going to risk a pregnancy at all?

I'm not referring to hidden genes, you see. I'm referring to the knowledge that there is a higher risk for 40+.

Robert Pattinson:

I'm not referring to hidden genes, you see. I'm referring to the knowledge that there is a higher risk for 40+.

Even if they have that knowledge, I don't see anything wrong with them procreating. If they want a child then they should have one.

Jewel Nicole:

Even if they have that knowledge, I don't see anything wrong with them procreating. If they want a child then they should have one.

Which sounds lovely and ideal when you just say it. But realistically, if a couple of let's say, 50, have a child and that child is down syndrome. A lot of those older parents aren't going to be able to cope heading into old age. And that's not just me assuming, that's me actually working in the special needs area with children in this situation.

I'd love for everyone to be able to have a child at any age. But I personally, don't think it should be risked if the resources aren't there.

Robert Pattinson:

Which sounds lovely and ideal when you just say it. But realistically, if a couple of let's say, 50, have a child and that child is down syndrome. A lot of those older parents aren't going to be able to cope heading into old age. And that's not just me assuming, that's me actually working in the special needs area with children in this situation.

I'd love for everyone to be able to have a child at any age. But I personally, don't think it should be risked if the resources aren't there.

I'm not saying that it isn't hard or anything. I think it should just be up to the person to decide if they want to have children or not.

Jewel Nicole:

I'm not saying that it isn't hard or anything. I think it should just be up to the person to decide if they want to have children or not.

Absolutely. No one has any right in this world, no matter who they are, to tell another that they cannot have a right. But I think that things need to be taken into consideration, for the reasons I said. People forget just how difficult syndromes are - so much time and energy. Something the elderly don't often posses.

But no, I agree with you that a person should decide. But I think they should be very cautious and sensible.

Am I the only person who cannot believe that girl is 16?

Honestly, I don't think a relationship with such a huge age difference would work. I think it's creepy in all honesty. But it's up to them - if her mother is consenting to it, and she is consenting to and they are both happy let them do what they want. I can't see it lasting long myself, but who am I to judge.