Woman Allows 16 Year Old Daughter to Marry 51 Year Old Man

^ He may not be extremely well known, but he has a few roles behind him that certainly has had him mentioned. I knew perfectly well who he was before this, and so did a lot of other people. I doubt he married her because he wanted to boost his career, though I can't say about her.

So, when I first saw this I didn't know it was Horrace from LOST. I love Horrace.

But back to the point. Marriage isn't permanent. If every party is consenting, them let them marry.

England's Dreaming:

But back to the point. Marriage isn't permanent. If every party is consenting, them let them marry.

Two things.

One, I really think that the 'oh we can just get divorced' mentality is a very unhealthy one and I hate to see it being promoted.

Two, where do you draw the line? Should a twelve year old be able to marry a forty year old if they both want to?

Quintessential Bella:

^ He may not be extremely well known, but he has a few roles behind him that certainly has had him mentioned. I knew perfectly well who he was before this, and so did a lot of other people. I doubt he married her because he wanted to boost his career, though I can't say about her.

I had no idea who he was, and I watched Lost religiously, and I am sure I am not the only person who had no idea who he was and what he had done. His other movie/TV roles are hardly worth mentioning. Why else would he marry a 16 year old? What could a 51 year old man and a 16 year old girl POSSIBLY have in common? I mean, I am not saying it is impossible, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

dru on the radio.:

Two things.

One, I really think that the 'oh we can just get divorced' mentality is a very unhealthy one and I hate to see it being promoted.

Two, where do you draw the line? Should a twelve year old be able to marry a forty year old if they both want to?

Why shouldn't the idea of divorce be at least a possibility? If a marriage doesn't work out then surely a divorce is the better thing for all involved if it is causing a lot of damage?

And there is a difference - there is an age of consent in which a minimum requirement is needed, regardless of the age of which a\ legal contract can be signed by a minor. With this, there is also agreement by parents or guardians.

Since she is sixteen, depending on the state, she is not legally old enough to enter into a marriage of her own volition. She is, most likely anyway, old enough to get married with permission. Hence, she fulfills the criteria of which a twelve year old would not.

Secondly, parents or guardians must agree and sign the marital contract. Parents, as a general idea, are set out to protect their offspring. So, surely they would be the first people in the entire universe who would object to such a thing? However, if they agree it is a good idea and they are fine with it then there is no legal issue. That is the other criteria fulfilled. I do not think that in the USA (not other countries where other legal restrictions apply) that anyone would marry off their twelve year old daughter. At that age, it is still illegal to engage in sexual pursuits which again, varies from state to state in your country.

I'd say comparing the two is not exactly valid.

river song.:

Why shouldn't the idea of divorce be at least a possibility? If a marriage doesn't work out then surely a divorce is the better thing for all involved if it is causing a lot of damage?

I never said it wasn't. But marriage shouldn't be gone into with the 'oh well we can just get divorced' mentality otherwise what's the point?

Quote

I'd say comparing the two is not exactly valid.

Did you or did you not say 'If every party is consenting, them let them marry.'? if you did, that is very very open to the interpretation of a 12 year old marrying a 40 year old.

why would someone want to marry a 16 year old

^ If they loved said 16-year-old, perhaps? I'd say that's a fairly good reason.

To be honest, I don't think this will work. I don't think that the 16 year old is ready to settle for the expectations of a 51 year old. Different ages seek pleasure in different luxuries.

Sardonic Grin:

I had no idea who he was, and I watched Lost religiously, and I am sure I am not the only person who had no idea who he was and what he had done. His other movie/TV roles are hardly worth mentioning. Why else would he marry a 16 year old? What could a 51 year old man and a 16 year old girl POSSIBLY have in common? I mean, I am not saying it is impossible, but I HIGHLY doubt it.

The Green Mile and his role on the X-Files are without a doubt worth mentioning, as they are also what he's known for.

Either she could be mature for her age, or he could be slightly less mature. It's not that hard. It's actually quite easy to adapt to those around you. I have no issue spending time with 14-year-olds, and I have no issue spending time with 40-year-olds. Maybe in general two people with that age difference don't have too much in common, but we don't know what they're like or what they're into.

Besides, two people don't need to have everything in common in order to work.

It's up to their parents if they want their kids to marry at sixteen to someone who's older than her by like forty years, but in my opinion, it won't work and I would never allow my kids, when I have them, to marry someone that old at that young.

the power of justice:

It's up to their parents if they want their kids to marry at sixteen to someone who's older than her by like forty years, but in my opinion, it won't work and I would never allow my kids, when I have them, to marry someone that old at that young.

i think it's up to parents to look out for the best interests of the child. I don't think marrying someone that much older than your or marrying at that age in general is doing that. Technically, one could consider it to be neglect.

dru on the radio.:

i think it's up to parents to look out for the best interests of the child. I don't think marrying someone that much older than your or marrying at that age in general is doing that. Technically, one could consider it to be neglect.

I don't see how it could be viewed as neglect. The only way in which we know it's neglect, is if we get into the thoughts of the parents, considering we can't do that, I don't think neglect is the right word.

dru on the radio.:

i think it's up to parents to look out for the best interests of the child. I don't think marrying someone that much older than your or marrying at that age in general is doing that. Technically, one could consider it to be neglect.

I definitely don't think it can be considered neglect in any way. Sure, if they knew he wasn't treating her well or if this was having a huge negative inpact on her. But we can't know that, at all. As far as we know, she may be extremely happy with him and he may be taking really good care of her. So I don't see how it could be considered neglect.

Aaronnn:

why would someone want to marry a 16 year old

I agree with this. As much as I don't care for age boundaries or "rules" in relationships, that's really only when adults are involved. In my mind a 16 year old is still legally a child. Personally, I don't think 16 year olds should be getting married, and I question the intentions of any adult who thinks they want to marry someone so young. It's a bit weird.

And to be honest, most 16 year olds don't have that much going for them (yet) in terms of maturity, financial independence, and experience in relationships. Why an adult would want to marry a 16 year old is beyond my comprehension. Yes, yes, "love". But to be honest - love isn't the only thing needed to make a relationship or marriage work. Yes, really.

^
Eh. I know this is a huge age gap we're talking about, but for smaller ones it doesn't surprise me. My twenty year old brother wants to marry his seventeen year old girlfriend. My adult father married my minor mother when she got pregnant.

veronika:

I agree with this. As much as I don't care for age boundaries or "rules" in relationships, that's really only when adults are involved. In my mind a 16 year old is still legally a child. Personally, I don't think 16 year olds should be getting married, and I question the intentions of any adult who thinks they want to marry someone so young. It's a bit weird.

And to be honest, most 16 year olds don't have that much going for them (yet) in terms of maturity, financial independence, and experience in relationships. Why an adult would want to marry a 16 year old is beyond my comprehension. Yes, yes, "love". But to be honest - love isn't the only thing needed to make a relationship or marriage work. Yes, really.

Some people don't have maturity, financial independence or experience in relationship when much, much older. Yet there doesn't seem to be a problem with them marrying?

sadodruscillaism.:

^
Eh. I know this is a huge age gap we're talking about, but for smaller ones it doesn't surprise me. My twenty year old brother wants to marry his seventeen year old girlfriend. My adult father married my minor mother when she got pregnant.

See, to me, I don't understand why people seem to rush into marriage. Although some of them work out, I can't pretend that getting married because you've knocked someone up is the greatest idea ever, or the best for the couple. I don't see why people feel the need to marry so young. I think people in young relationships should just be with their partner and have fun instead of worrying about marriage. Most teenage / high school relationships rarely, these days, make it to 30th marriage anniversary territory.

Bella met Shawnee:

Some people don't have maturity, financial independence or experience in relationship when much, much older. Yet there doesn't seem to be a problem with them marrying?

People much, much older are also not legally children (where I live, at 16 you're still a minor). Although, if someone was, say, 40 years old and still not able to be financially independent, capable of being mature and had zero relationship experience, it would seem slightly out of the ordinary, and yes, I would ask myself why someone would want to marry someone like that. At 16 though, it's quite normal for people to be immature, reliant on parents / caregivers for money, and to be inexperienced in sex and relationships.

^ 'Quite normal' is the keyword. There are always exceptions, and since none of us knows them maybe they are an exception.

veronika:

People much, much older are also not legally children (where I live, at 16 you're still a minor). Although, if someone was, say, 40 years old and still not able to be financially independent, capable of being mature and had zero relationship experience, it would seem slightly out of the ordinary, and yes, I would ask myself why someone would want to marry someone like that. At 16 though, it's quite normal for people to be immature, reliant on parents / caregivers for money, and to be inexperienced in sex and relationships.

I don't think they should get married at that age, but you said you couldn't see why they would want to and I was saying that I could, that's all.