The "F" Word

(If there is another thread, I apologize. I did not see it and I thought it should be brought into attention)

I don't know about anyone else, and I don't try to represent anything or anyone's opinion.

I only represent my own.

The "F" Word I am referring to is 'Fag' or 'Faggot.'
Generally used to describe LGBT people. Yes, in the UK it stands as cigarette, but I am talking about the usage of the reference.

The main issue I want to bring up is, should LGBT people be able to refer themselves and others as 'Fags'?

In my opinion, You shouldn't be able to say "Don't say fag" and then refer yourself/others as one. It's a double standard, and I take offense whether it's LGBT or straight people saying it. I don't care if people think it's 'awesome' or an exlcusive-LGBT word... it still has a negative ring.

Fag is a demoralizing word.

What's your opinions? Comments? Input?

Darn, I was hoping this thread whould be about the other F word. The four letter one.

But, yea, I hate the word faggot. It just sounds horrible.

^Miss me? 8) But yeah, I figured people were curious, heh:P

Almost all of my gay friends use the term faggot freely.

And what is your opinion on it? ^

Zazoo:

And what is your opinion on it? ^

I don't really have one. I'm bisexual and I've used the term faggot before, several times. I've used with my friends of all sexualities and it's never been an issue.

Its kinda like the N word. Its fine to use it around your friends but I don't think people should go around calling random people that.

England's Dreaming:

Its kinda like the N word. Its fine to use it around your friends but I don't think people should go around calling random people that.

You understand that 'nigga' is a word that was originally used to call African Americans 'subhumans'? Fag is the same.

And I find it a hypocracy, because, if someone not LGBT says fag/faggot (like non-black/'gangs' and 'nigger'), people jump down their throats. But It's okay if others say it.

I think that despite the fact that if some people think its okay BECAUSE you're LGBT, (or Af. Am.) the word is still a subhuman name. 'Fag' and 'Nigger' all came from people calling LGBT/Af. Am. that to dehumanize them and make them subhuman and demoralized.

But the majority of African American people who use the N word do so as a term of endearment. A word is only demeaning or degrading if you let it be.

I know that if any non-black people say the N word, you are called out as a racist, and they get hostile.

A word is demeaning/degrading because it was the people who were anti-black /anti-gay, so now it still sticks. It's not like, "OH! I guess ill stop caring." When I hear people say 'Fag' i get uncomfortable/offended/threatened. It's not like I choose to be. I just feel that I'm suddenly in a hostile enviornment where they do not like gays. 99.9% of the time, It's that way.

Zazoo:

I know that if any non-black people say the N word, you are called out as a racist, and they get hostile.

That's not always true. I grew up with two black boys (I dated the older one, actually ), they were brothers and I would call them 'niggas' all the time when we would talk and they never got mad. & When my uncle almost married a woman who had three half black boys, it was the same way. Maybe it's just because we knew each other so well.

Jewel Nicole:

That's not always true. I grew up with two black boys (I dated the older one, actually ), they were brothers and I would call them 'niggas' all the time when we would talk and they never got mad. & When my uncle almost married a woman who had three half black boys, it was the same way. Maybe it's just because we knew each other so well.

It definitely has to do with how well you know each other. I think it's the same with the word "retard", which is too often used to simply describe someone you think is stupid. I'd get extremely offended if someone random called me that, but me and my friends use it all the times as jokes.

It's not really hypocritical, because I never use it with people I don't know 100% either. There is a difference between being amongs friends and saying something and then throwing it in the face of strangers with malice intent.

Quintessential Bella:

It's not really hypocritical, because I never use it with people I don't know 100% either. There is a difference between being amongs friends and saying something and then throwing it in the face of strangers with malice intent.

Agreed 100%. The same thing can be said about a lot of things. It just depends on the situation and the people that are around. I don't think it's hypocritical either.

I would get offended if someone called one of my gay friends a "faggot" because the way it's said is extremely derogatory.

I love the word faggot. I call my boyfriend one all the time, he calls me one. If I stub my toe on a table, the tables a faggot, etc,. I have gay friends who call me a faggot. It's just a word that's thrown around an awful lot, like nearly every other word in society. Some people take it to extreme levels, while others just use it as a general reference.

I use the word faggot and my friends do, including the straight ones. I think it's important to make sure the word doesn't offend anyone in the group you're with. I also think it depends on how you use it. Meaning is the most important thing to me. I can tell, when someone uses the word, if they're using it because they hate homosexuals or if they're using it because it's a word.

So, yes, I think it's okay for gay people to say faggot. I also think (depending on meaning and usage), it's okay for non-gay people to say faggot.

The only time I really find myself saying it is when I'm singing along to a lyric that the word features in. Otherwise, I don't really say it. In my experience the word has been invariably used to intentionally insult/offend gay people (as opposed to whimsically or as an affectionate jab), which is probably why I avoid using it. Another part of it is that it usually offends me to hear it used in that way, because of my bisexuality, and my identification with LGBT people.

If people mean well when they say it then I can excuse it, like any other word, really. And as Dru said, as long as a person makes sure that no one around them will be offended when they say a certain word or phrase, then it should be okay.

honestly, i feel that everywhere i've grown up no one has used faggot when referring to someone in LGBT community. it's always been used in a different way, i don't think i could really make a definition. however, i agree with alex's quote from dru.

it's like black people and the n word. i mean, it just depends on what niche you're in and who you're surrounded by. i mean, my friend a few months ago called me a spic. now, if this had been said with bad lintent i would be livid, but it wasn't. and i feel that if the intent behind a word isn't cruel, then the meaning of the word is a bit tweaked.

I think it's like...it's taking back the word to reduce it's power, yes?

Personally, I'm a lesbian and I can't stand the word "fag" or "faggot" used by anyone. I think that's just a personal thing though. Same with queer (I can't stop thinking about queer as meaning strange or different and eh, it offends my semantics.) I also don't like people using the word "gay" as a synonym for crap. That's just black and they really should just jew off. [/Simon Amstell joke...]

...anyway. It is a personal choice sort of thing but if you use it then some people might get offended. You have to deal with that. It's like other swearwords. I can swear like a trooper but it annoys some people or offends them so I don't use those words around them.

I don't think it's a double standard though. When you refer to yourself as a total arse, you can be fine with it. Friends can call you a total arse and you can be fine with it. Other people can call you (or someone else) a total arse and you might not take kindly to it.

TL;DR. It's complicated. Bloody languages...

Honestly, anything related to the word annoys me. My cousin is gay and everytime the word exits someoens mouth around him it's in a degrading way. I hate it, this isn't much of an opinion or explanation for it but my point still stands. I can't stand the word and my respect for those who use it openly drops extremely fast.

Sunset Explosion:

Honestly, anything related to the word annoys me. My cousin is gay and everytime the word exits someoens mouth around him it's in a degrading way. I hate it, this isn't much of an opinion or explanation for it but my point still stands. I can't stand the word and my respect for those who use it openly drops extremely fast.

That's why I think people should be aware of whether or not the word offends those around them. In my circle of friends, no one gives a shit. We all use it, thought not a whole bunch. I'm the one who freaks out the most and I rarely do.

Like, one time my boyfriend was trying to explain something to me and he tried to liken it to a game that is (apparently) called 'Smear the Queer' and I glared at him, my jaw dropped partially, didn't say anything. He immediately apologized, said it was the name of a game and he didn't know the name. And then he apologized again. Is my boyfriend a homophobic bastard? No, he's not. And once he saw that what he said had offended me, he immediately tried to rectify it.

Unlike my brothers who used to call me a dyke all the time 'cause they thought it was funny, despite me saying I hated it.

This is why I think it's down to situations. It's not always the same thing.