Should Parents Raise Their Child(ren) Into a Religion?

The problem, of course, lies in those religions that tell anyone who leaves that their family should abandon them and if they leave the church, they'll burn in hell. It's one thing to tell an adult that and it's another thing to tell a child. My boyfriend was raised Catholic and they told him if he left the Catholic church, it was a mortal sin and he would burn. He doesn't really identify as Catholic in his beliefs, but he's too afraid to identify as anything else because of that threat that's been made to him since he was a child.

And since some parents don't give a shit because they're intolerant, it's a very real threat.

I think it's okay to raise your children religiously. I see no reason why not to, if you are religious yourself. I was raised Christian, and while I left my faith at age twelve, I'm glad I was raised that way.I do think it's very important not to be extreme about it. I think it's fine as long as there is no threats of going to hell at every small mistake. It's also important to let the child decide for themselves when they mature.

I don't think it's necessary to raise children in religion. Some of my cousins were raised as atheists and they turned out as independent and clear thinking people. I also have cousins who were raised very religiously, and they've turned out great as well. I think it's fine either way, as long as the child gets to decide themselves once they get old enough to understand it.

I'm a Christian. When I have children, I will give their lives to Jesus and I will teach them the way I've taught myself to follow God. Raising a child up in a religion isn't forcing them to choose it. They are their own people and they make decisions for themselves.

@ electric goat
'Giving their lives to Jesus' doesn't sound much like they're making decisions for themselves.

@Alex; periphery.
I mean that when they're born I say to Jesus, "I put their fate in your hands. I will raise them as best I can, and I trust you for everything else.'

Does that mean my children don't have a choice? Of course not. That would be impossible.

Well when they're infants, of course they don't have a choice. When they're older than that, they do of course begin to have a choice based on what they know and what they understand about Christianity/other religions.

@ Alex; periphery.
No, it's not, but it's about the parents dedicating their children to God and raising them in the faith. It's more about the parents doing the right thing in God's eyes. Not about imposing religion on the children. The decision to remain in the religion is up to the child once they're old enough to understand. Christening/dedication/infant baptism is more about the parents relationship with God than the child's.

I am personally going to not raise my son any one religion. But rather teach him of all religions and beliefs and when he is old enough he can make his own decisions on what his religious beliefs are. I espiecally plan on not forcing religion because of my father. He refuses to believe I am wiccan. He says the only way he will believe it is if I prove it, but there is no way for me to do that as long as I am living under his roof because I can't even pratice wicca under his roof. So because of my family and family issuse it is a very big deal to me to not force religion on my son.

I'm Catholic and I have every intent on raising my future children with religion. It would be hard not to. I just can't not share the way I live with my future children. Of course I want to share going to mass together, praying together, singing church hymns together, praising God together, etc. But if my children feel like they don't want that anymore, and I feel that I am confident with the knowledge that I have given them and with the knowledge that they sought out for themselves, then I will respect that.

@ mazohyst
Is that possible? My boyfriend's church [Catholic] told him if you leave the Catholic faith after being confirmed, you'll burn in hell as it's a mortal sin.

@ dru chases the wind.
It is possible to leave the church. Nothing is impossible. I'm iffy to agree with your boyfriend so I'm just going to say, it does seem that if you leave the church, you might go to hell. I do know it's a mortal sin though. I wish I could say no because I know tons of Catholics turned atheists and they're all still very great people. I don't want to sound like a typical Catholic but only God really knows if you go to hell or not.

@ mazohyst
I just know my boyfriend is wary of leaving the church even though he rarely goes and he doesn't feel he identifies with the faith anymore. He said they told him when he was 12, he would go to Hell if he ever left the church. I just think if it's hard for someone to shake that 9 years later, it might be especially hard for a child.

@ dru chases the wind.
Ah, I see. I don't know, when I was younger my parents never mentioned anything about hell or telling me "Don't do this or you'll go to Hell!" It's always been, "Do this because it's good." They never talked about Heaven or Hell. I've never been afraid of Hell. Hell is just a place where there is no God.

And I guess when I said that, "when my children don't want that anymore" I'm thinking of my children when they will be considerably older, say like when they're in their teens. That was bad wording on my part.

@ mazohyst
I get that. I was just under the assumption Catholics are usually confirmed around 11-13, right?

I mean, it's cool if you teach it, but if the church teaches your children if they leave, the burn, I don't know how much of a choice they will feel they have, y'know?

@ dru chases the wind.
True, but if they don't believe in and don't identify with the faith, leaving it should be no problem. They won't believe in Hell or in God sending them to Hell, hence, they won't fear it. I don't know, it sounds like it really depends on the child. I've never understood the fear of Hell or been taught to do certain things to avoid Hell, so I can't really relate. I'm going to have to do some proper research on this.

@ mazohyst
But someone can choose to leave the Catholic church without no longer believing in God. My boyfriend identifies more closely with some other Protestant beliefs, has accept Christ as his personal savior, believes in God, etc. He just isn't sure he identifies with the Catholic church and wants to be aligned with it anymore. However, because of what he was taught, he thinks he'll go to hell if he become a practicing Lutheran (for example) instead.

First, the kind of parents who 'shove religion down their child's throat' are completely different from normal parents who raise children into a religion. I've seen most of the evidence of this coming from America, where the religious communities tend to be far more extreme about their beliefs than here in England, and that's where most of the problems come around. People see the way the largest communities of religious people treat their children and the people around them, and then generalise a whole religion around that.

I believe it should be perfectly okay for a child to be raised into a religion, but I don't believe in the extreme way of doing this. I'd like to think that if my child one day chose that they would rather follow Atheist beliefs, they would feel I wasn't too restrictive with my religion for them to be too scared of telling me they wanted out. I suppose it all depends on how the child is raised. I haven't been raised to fear Hell, in fact, I don't think my mum has ever even brought the topic up. She's given me a lot of freedom by not telling me her point of view on certain things, so I can create my own. For example, I'm against the homophobic way Catholicism worships, and I don't believe in a lot of the Old Testament, especially Genesis. I have never asked my mum about her beliefs, because I know my automatic response would just be to side with her because she's my mum.

Chaos Walking:

I haven't been raised to fear Hell, in fact, I don't think my mum has ever even brought the topic up. She's given me a lot of freedom by not telling me her point of view on certain things, so I can create my own.

But when parents give a child a religious upbringing, it's not just their views that the child will pick up; it's also the views of the church they belong to.

I was raised Church of England and my parents never mentioned Hell to me, but at church services during school (my primary school was C of E too) we were taught about Hell, and that it was wrong to worship other gods, etc. Then, early on in secondary school life, I learnt that my religion also condemned things like homosexuality and abortion, and without actually knowing or wondering why, I was automatically under the impression that these things were totally wrong. I can vividly (and quite ashamedly in hindsight) remember a moment several years back when a fellow classmate asked me what God thought about homosexuality, and I replied that it was an abomination and that people go to Hell for it.

I don't think it's safe to assume that a child's religious affiliation due to its upbringing will remain solely influenced by the parents.

@ Alex; periphery.
I see what you mean. I'm lucky enough to go to a Church which is very open to different beliefs (except for one Priest who is, I suppose, a 'typical' Christian) and my Catholic primary school didn't focus our knowledge on only the religion. We were taught the stories from the Bible, but not taught about laws and rules. We were taught that Hell exists, but we were never threatened that we would be sent to Hell. In fact, it was a miracle if the teachers remembered to say our prayers in the morning, at lunch and at the end of the day.

Now I go to a high school which is not religious, so we're taught all six major world religions. This is a huge advantage, and it definitely makes people more accepting of others. The non-religious ask the religious about how they worship and actually get involved in things that they wouldn't ever have necessarily thought about. My best friend is Muslim, and the other two girls who I call friends are Sikh and Protestant Christian.

But I never thought about how schools and churches treat their children. I can't imagine being under such heavy pressure because of my beliefs, and I'm not sure what I'd do if my children were put in the situation that their school was forcing them into things that I don't, and I'm sure they wouldn't, actually want to have to do.