What Is the Biggest Form of Sexism You've Encountered?

@ castiel's vessel
That isn't just your school that's the entirety of at least the English school system. In all the schools in my district the girls never played contact sports, never played rugby, never even played anything with the boys. All we got to do were the 'girl' sports. In my school the girls weren't even allowed to play cricket, freaking cricket! The balls for rounders are just as hard so I don't see the reason why. Although, the boys and girls had to do dance, the only discrimination was in the sports department.
It's a really pathetic system.

schrodinger's cat.:

@ castiel's vessel
That isn't just your school that's the entirety of at least the English school system. In all the schools in my district the girls never played contact sports, never played rugby, never even played anything with the boys. All we got to do were the 'girl' sports. In my school the girls weren't even allowed to play cricket, freaking cricket! The balls for rounders are just as hard so I don't see the reason why. Although, the boys and girls had to do dance, the only discrimination was in the sports department.
It's a really pathetic system.

Wow, I'm glad schools in Mexico don't do that. I have played soccer, football, baseball, footbase, done some karate fighting and all in mixed P.E. classes. My teachers never stopped us and even encouraged us. He once allowed me to fight this idiot who was going over and over of how I hit like a girl. I did hit like a girl and punched him square on the face which prompted him to back off and leave the fight

Anyways, today I went to a counseling session and since my parents had drove me so they could buy some groceries at the walmart accross the street, I decided to walk my way back. Needless to say I was harassed by this fucking old man whispering "chiquitita bonita" (sweet baby) and leered at me. I had to stiff my want to punch him on the face because I was scared he would do something worse.

I remember my freshman year I took this tech class and I was the only girl in the class. For some reason, to 2 of the guys in there, that meant they could cop a feel whenever they wanted to or make comments all the time. The teacher didn't even pay attention. Needless to say, whenever it happened, I hit them.

"GIRLS CAN'T DO MARTIAL ARTS!!! GIRLS CAN'T PLAY SPORTS!! THE BOYS ARE BETTER!!" 'OI DO YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH MY MATE' ASKED THE 12 YEAR OLD BOY TO THE 18 YEAR OLD SEX GODDESS GIRL

Be quiet before I roundhouse kick your butt.

As a female that works in sports journalism, it's so frustrating to show up to do an interview with a coach or player and them not take you seriously, or think they can treat you a certain way because you're a woman and not any of my co-workers. Or to show up and have them say, "Sorry to waste your time. Just have Patrick call me and I'll give him the story."

There will always be people who will tell me I should've expected this sort of thing going into sports (and maybe even journalism, I don't know) but this is what I love and am passionate about. No one's telling those players or coaches they should find another job because they should've expected to be interviewed by a female reporter.

I hate when people assume that someone who's bad driving on the road is automatically a women :P

I'd be a millionaire for all the "shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" jokes.

Well, in my PE class two years ago, the boys in my class would always pull down the pants of the girls just because they could. No one did anything about it.

Basically my dad thinking his superior to my mom just because he's the man of the house and apparently the leader of the house as well. Which is utter bullshit. Also, we couldn't play football in our gym class because we were girls and apparently we suck at everything.

People always tell me jokes like, go back to the kitchen, and make me a sandwich. I know that they kid a lot of the time, but I still find it annoying.

After hearing a tally of how many "pairs of titties" some immature boys had seen at my get together this weekend, I did not feel like I could participate in the Nude Relay without being just the "third pair of titties" some guy had seen that day. I am more than a pair of "titties" and I know it. And after hearing how they discussed the female participants of the relay, I'm glad I didn't.

My boyfriend told me "it wouldn't be like that", but it turns out it would have.

(However, I did get to walk around in a bra and underwear WITHOUT being demeaned, too.)

My ex used to tell me not to cut or dye my hair, how much makeup I was allowed to wear, that I wasn't allowed to have any body piercings and I could only get a certain amount of tattoos. Same thing my dad does. And every time we fought about it he always guilt tripped the fuck out of me by crying about it and bullshitting me with "I just love your natural hair/skin it's sooo perfect and I don't want it ruined" well fuck you, you should love me for who I am and not what my body looks like or how I've altered it. I now have short, bright red hair and a future that includes several body mods and the tattoos I've wanted to get since I was 13, and I couldn't be any happier with my life. Just goes to prove I don't need a "man" to make me happy.

I've never really had to deal with sexist comments growing up. My parents kind of are a 180 of parental gender roles or whatever you may call it. I planted + cared for flowers with my dad, I cooked with my dad, I used to go shopping (like clothes shopping) with my dad and I used to clean with my dad. My mom mowed the lawn and usually did all the "typical male chores". My dad didn't treat me any differently because I'm a girl. He took me fishing and camping and taught me how to use guns + knives. I mean, they don't not "act their gender" but they definitely didn't make me have a sexist out look on marriage and relationships. Obviously my mom did more "female" things with me like bake and clean and stuff, but for the most part both of my parents took care of me. They both worked and my dad mainly cared for me when I was like 5-8 because my mom went back to college + was never home. And even now, my parents don't fit gender stereotypes. I mean they have their characteristics that but they're not 100% true to them. My dad does the dishes, he cooks, he makes the bed, he takes care of me when I'm sick. And he's never, not once, hinted that girls belong in the home.

So, the biggest form of sexism I've ever personally encountered is when it comes to sex/etc. Guys tell me I have to be the submissive one and do everything they want for them. I've never had sex in any form but I think that's fucking bullshit. I shouldn't have to do anything for you sexually and I'm not fucking going to. It's not my job to be your submissive fuck doll. That's literally the biggest form I've ever had to deal with.

This definitely isn't the worst sexism I've experienced, but it's one of the moments that struck me the hardest. I curse a lot, and in my senior year of high school I was a student leader in my stage crew class. That year there was a freshman who had a crush on me and though I didn't reciprocate, I was still friendly with him. One day, while a few of us were working on a stage project, I suppose I was having a difficult time accomplishing something, because I was cursing a bit and this freshman told me that I shouldn't curse. I knew he and his friends cursed because I'd heard them before, so I asked what he meant and why and he wouldn't answer, but I kept pressing and he answered along the lines of "ladies shouldn't curse" until he finally said "you're too pretty to curse." And if it hadn't caught me so off guard, I would've been livid.

First of all, he's a fourteen-year-old telling an eighteen-year-old (and, in a way, his boss; I'd been on the student committee that accepted him into the class) what to do, which I would never dream of doing, at least in a "work" setting. Secondly, his aversion to my language was purely to do with aesthetics and how he believed someone that looked like me should sound/act. Thirdly, it was a textbook backhanded compliment. Honestly, the reason this has stuck with me so clearly for so long is how casual the whole thing was. Yeah, he blushed a little when he finally answered me, but that more than likely had to do with his confession that he found me pretty. The fact that he saw nothing wrong or offensive with his statement was possibly the most hurtful part.

And yes I've had other (and often harsher) run-ins with the omnipresent patriarchy, but I think this moment was what sparked the fuse of feminism within me; casual misogyny is so often the worst kind. And now that I'm constantly aware of it, I suppose it shocks & hurts less.

@ Cheye13
Well said. I'm sure that would stick with me too, as "trivial" as it might be to some. That sort of censorship is inexcusable, especially since you were in a leadership position.

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I'm sure there are worse instances, but one of the most annoying personal experiences I've had is when I was sitting on a bench at my university. I was looking at my phone or laptop, don't remember which exactly. Avoiding eye contact with passerby, pretty much.

This older man, middle aged or late 30s, stops in front of me before entering the building. Then proceeds to tell me that I should smile. I have resting bitch face 98% of the time, something that can't be helped. I just looked at him, my frown deepening. I said nothing and he continued on his way. However, I couldn't help but think to myself that the chances of him saying the same thing to another guy were slim to none.

I later found out about the campaign that addresses this seemingly harmless social norm.

As I grow older, I know I'll have an experience that will top this one, but for now, this is all I've got.

To be honest, sexism has been in my life and impacted my life since before I was born, although not all of it was things I was aware of or even knew until later in life. Like, my dad didn't want to be in the room when I was born because he saw childbirth as 'disgusting'. He ended up somehow being in the room and witnessed my birth, which led to him being so disgusted by both my mother and me that he didn't go near either of us for six months after I was born.

Basically every single time I've been told that my being opinionated makes me an obnoxious bitch when the same trait makes my brother passionate.

Every time I've been told that I need a man in my life in order to be happy.

Every time I've been told the only way I'll ever know true love/happiness is if I reproduce for that man.

The random strangers that think it's their business to come up and say to 'smile', like the guy that came up to me and demanded to know why I wasn't smiling for five minutes when I was in the grocery store. He claimed I was 'too pretty to frown', and when I said 'thank you?' and then tried to leave, he actually started to follow me while he kept asking what was wrong with me.

Then of course, there's the criminal offenses, like flat out sexual harassment in the workplace. Examples of that are my manager thinking it was hilarious to tell all the female workers that if we wanted anything or if we needed anything that we'd have to blow him for it. Oh and at that same work place, a guy that thought it was okay to ever, let alone when we're alone in the place at night, to pat the counter near us and say pretty much, "You know, if I wanted to, I could take you right here and there'd be nothing you could do to stop me." He then proceeded to ask me if he could walk me to my car.

Here's one a lot of people don't think about. I care for my gran (well i did up until the end of my first pregnancy), and she has two different forms of arthritis. So just being curious i asked if the forms she had had the same symptoms in both men and women. He said no and explained that on a whole baiscally women were more susceptible to brittle bones (warping or breaking bones basically) with one of the forms of it she has. So i then obviously asked how thats treat differently then, considering the conditions present them self differently i assumed it would mean more check ups or extra meds to prevent from brittle bones. But no. even though women and men have different symptoms they are treat as men would be. No preventative measures are taken they only act when they are refered again for brittle bones (it has a proper name but ive forgotten it)

Being sexually assaulted in middle school, I'd say.

It's generally little things, but they make me sad when they add up. The two most prominent are:

1.) I wanted to pursue photography when I was in high school. So did a male friend of mine. One night he decided to shoot the same band as me, a band I was friends with first - petty of me, I know - and then he got paid for it. This was his first time shooting them, and it was like my fifth. And I had never once been paid. Because he was able to say he was a payed photographer he started getting more local gigs, and now he works for an online publication and gets to attend a load of headlining concerts to shoot them. I haven't done photography since school because I never got the money to upgrade my equipment.

2.) I had plans to attend anime expo, but I didn't want to go alone and so one of my male friends said I could go with him. I was super excited and he said he'd even dress up with me, like a ~couple's cosplay~ and I was super excited. Then one of our mutual friends asked who I was going with, and when I told him he said I couldn't go because it was supposed to be a guy thing and that if I went they were going to leave me alone until it was time to go hone. I ended up reselling my ticket so I could have more cash in Oklahoma, but then I didn't even need the extra cash. I haven't talked to my friend or done any cosplay since.

There's a few things, I guess, all associated with the music industry.

1) I study music business, which is basically a male-dominated industry. We had a class one day on sexism in the industry and one boy genuinely turned around and said that woman shouldn't be anything in the music industry other than singers, so that they can make scantily clad videos to impress guys. He also said girls are virtually useless with business and don't know how to make their own decisions. Luckily, our lecturer is a raging feminist, so he completely shut him down, but it was still pretty sad.

2) There's about 20-30 folk in my fourth year sound production class and 3 of them are girls, because all of the other girls have been pushed away from it because they guys seem to think that tech is their remit. I was actually pushed away from doing sound engineering after I finish university because one of the guys in my second year basically said girls shouldn't do it. The guys get more tech opportunities through the uni, the guys tend to get more jobs and the guys get trusted more with the equipment -- not a word of a lie, I've taken out the exact same mic set as a male friend, and he got a longer lease on it than I did because apparently they told him they trust the boys more with the mics, which is stupid because more mics get dropped by guys than girls in there, because most of the girls steer clear of the studios anyway.

3) The guitar shop I normally go to in Glasgow is an all-male staff. For starters, we're pretty sure I was rejected outright for a position for a job in there because I'm female although who even knows, that could just be me being petty. Secondly, they seem to think it's okay to make snidey little comments when you go in. Examples:

"Are you okay sweetheart, do you need any help?" -- this said when me and my dad have been in the same shop for the same amount of time, and nobody's bothered going up to my dad to ask if he needed help. Clearly my boobs mean I don't understand guitars.

"Aww, are these strings for your boyfriend? That's lovely." -- no, they're for me and the guy was genuinely surprised when I shut it down.

"The ukes are over by the door" -- because clearly girls cannot play guitar and must play ukuleles.

I also once got teased by a guy in the store for buying pink plectrums, who assumed that I was only getting the pink ones because I was a girl and suggested he could help me find plectrums to suit my style of playing. Said plectrums are the same 0.46 Dunlop 500 plectrums I've been using since I was 14 and I use them because they're fairly thin and I prefer thin plectrums. It isn't my fault Dunlop decided the 0.46 range would be pale pink. I don't care what colour it is.

Sometimes the music industry is ridiculous, though.

1. You can't be an engineer. You can't cook screws and machines.
2. You can't cook? What kind of woman are you?
3. You want to pursue a career driven life? No one would want to marry an over-achieving woman.

And I study engineering which is obviously a male dominated industry so it's pretty self-explanatory.

Getting shit for playing baseball in middle school because i was a girl

People telling me that girls like can't wear a dress because we're not pretty.

Animes and video games are mainly a guy thing and if girls say they like anime and play video games, they're just posers.