The Gender Identity Thread.

I just figured we should have one as we have one for sexual orientation.

You can feel free to post your gender identity, questions, or just general thoughts about gender identity. Always be respectful.

I'm cis gendered, but incredibly interested in gender identity and gender constructs/roles/psychology as a whole. I have friends who identity as everything from transgendered to third gender to agender to ... whatever. My sister is MtF and just came out to us in the last year. My family has been wonderful about it.

This is a great thread! I've actually been hoping one of these would pop up eventually.

I'm not necessarily sure if I'd entirely be considered transgender, honestly. By sex I'm 'female' and I see myself as male. But I only want to get top surgery, and not bottom. That's mostly for a reason, though. Sometimes I feel female, though, but I'm still uncomfortable being called such even during those times. I guess I'd be consider bigender, and I used to call myself such, but it doesn't seem to fit as much.

What is the definition for third-gender, if you know? I've always been curious about it, and have looked it up, but I'm not sure if I found anything or that anything came up.

Is third-gender when someone prefers to be referred to with non-gender-specific pronouns like "they" instead of "he" or "she"? Or have I just made that up?

I'm also cisgendered; I consider myself male in all respects. And I'm gay. The latter piece of information is pretty much irrelevant to the discussion of course, but it's surprising how many people I come across who assume that homosexuality bears some kind of relation to transgenderism or a difference in what's perceived as the "normal" gender role for a man. Contrary to that (worryingly popular) belief, being a homosexual male doesn't assume any particular gender identity. And as I've mentioned; I'm comfortable as a man in every way.

By extension, I don't really know what I would be considered in terms of a "masculine" or "feminine" demeanour; I feel I'm neither a "camp" nor a "macho" kind of guy. I'm just a guy.

blindfold faith.:

What is the definition for third-gender, if you know? I've always been curious about it, and have looked it up, but I'm not sure if I found anything or that anything came up.

Personally I think 'third gender' is a very loaded term and it's best if people stay away from it. Most of the time nowadays, it's used in relation to non-Western cultures and for a Westerner to define themselves by / through a non-Western culture is dangerous, especially when the defining involves queerness / non-gender-conformity because the way non-Western occurrences of such things are read / interpreted by the West is usually exploitative, exoticizing, racist and uninformed. In the West, 'third gender' is still very often associated with homosexuality (because of 19th century theories about how homosexuality originates from gender dissonance that are surprisingly / sadly still believed, also the long history of non-straight people challenging gender norms). If you're aware of this and feel like 'third gender' is the label that fits you best, that's great I'm not going to tell you how to define yourself etc etc, just be mindful of the way a lot of these terms are tied up with all kinds of homophobic / sexist / racist nonsense.

kafka.:

Personally I think 'third gender' is a very loaded term and it's best if people stay away from it. Most of the time nowadays, it's used in relation to non-Western cultures and for a Westerner to define themselves by / through a non-Western culture is dangerous, especially when the defining involves queerness / non-gender-conformity because the way non-Western occurrences of such things are read / interpreted by the West is usually exploitative, exoticizing, racist and uninformed. In the West, 'third gender' is still very often associated with homosexuality (because of 19th century theories about how homosexuality originates from gender dissonance that are surprisingly / sadly still believed, also the long history of non-straight people challenging gender norms). If you're aware of this and feel like 'third gender' is the label that fits you best, that's great I'm not going to tell you how to define yourself etc etc, just be mindful of the way a lot of these terms are tied up with all kinds of homophobic / sexist / racist nonsense.

Ah, okay, thank you for answering! That's actually what I thought about the term, but wasn't entirely clear on it enough to really say. I don't really like the term, with what you've said and that I've looked it up more on Google. It's seems to broad to me, really. It seems, in the way it's being used by those who use it, to describe all non-binary genders such as agender, pangender, ect...If I'm correct on the way it's being used.

I've never actually seen it used by anyone, truthfully. And while, by definition on Wikipedia of it, the term does fit, (broadly, not entirely) I don't think I'll be using for the reasons stated.

I'm definitely cisgendered. I'm a lesbian female but interestingly I come up against controversy still (not nearly as much as a transgendered person and it isn't so much bothersome as just extremely annoying). I sometimes get people doubting my lesbianism because I'm such a girly girl and I think that, especially in the LGBTQ community, you would expect people to be more informed than to think that the length of your hair is in any way linked to your sexual orientation.

@ kafka.
I don't agree. I know a lot of Western culture individuals who use that term to describe themselves. Generally it means they identify as some combination of female/male or don't feel like they identify as male/female at all. I don't know what's "loaded" about it just 'cause it means something different elsewhere.

And as using 'third gender' as homosexual is wrong, why would even consider it or worry about transposing it?

I'm biologically female, but I honestly prefer to see myself as male. I wouldn't have anything changed, but I do dress like a boy on casual days.

I am FTM transgendered. I don't want any surgery and am more or less comforable in my own body but I still strongly identify as male. I may start testosterone though because according to my pediatrition it would help with my bone density.

I don't precisely label myself, but I consider gender a fluid thing, not simply male or female. I think there's a gray area between these two and that's were I fit in. I'm not prone to falling onto sterotypes of masculinity and femininity. I think these of these two traits as merely socially constructed and they play no role in me doing gender.

I'm a cisgirl, and my boyfriend is trans. Only a handful of my friends know he's trans, but really it's not any of their business either way. I used to identify as a lesbian, so I've always been worried about people assuming I was interested in him because he's FAAB, but that's definitely not the case. It's never been an issue in our relationship. We've spoken about boundaries, and all that jazz, but really I think that every couple needs to have the boundaries discussion regardless.

People have definitely come a long way with their opinions, but unfortunately a lot still have their head's stuck in the sand. We've been together for nearly five months but I still haven't told my mum, because I know she's transphobic and I'm kind of out to her as a lesbian. It's all very strange, but one day I'll work up the courage to do it.

**FAAB = female assigned at birth. It's a fairly new term so I just thought I'd put this here. A lot of people on (and outside of) the gender spectrum prefer FAAB/MAAB to FtM or MtF, my boyfriend does too.

@ daisyfairy
I like that term. So FAAB would be FtM and MAAB would be MtF, correct?

@ dru can fly!
Yep! I think I like it because it really encases the whole spectrum. So if you're FtM, you can use FAAB, but equally if you're genderfluid or neutrois you can use FAAB or MAAB if it applies.

I don't identify as either gender. I feel more male than female, but I'd just prefer to be neither. And only wo people know, because I'm terrified to tell others.

i identify as female, born female, and dress female-ish (according to society) but i feel more... other. as in i feel feminine but also not feminine but definitely not masculine. i could be possibly over thinking this as well. :/ I'll just say i feel like a Nikki. :)

The newest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) will no longer be using the term 'gender identity disorder' but will use 'gender dysphoria' instead.

Thoughts?

@ dahoo dores dru.
I think it's good in the sense the GID is viewed as a permanent condition where as dysphoria can be treated/cured, which seems more accurate. Dysphoria also distinguishes between internal feelings and external feelings caused by discrimination or prejudice. (How can stress be a mentally unhealthy response to extreme prejudice?)

But, bye bye insurance coverage for any trans related medical expenses, because gender dysphoria isn't as demanding of a diagnosis as GID was. I'm not sure the benefits outweigh this negative. What good is an accurate diagnosis for what trans people know they feel, when it can't help them seek reassignment surgery or therapy if they want it.

---

I see a lot of (trans) people saying in comments on various articles about this that they still dislike this diagnosis, because being trans is not a mental concern at all, but the same as being born with a birth defect, and I don't understand that.

Gender is not a physical characteristic, it's a psychological state of being intertwined with your physical sex, and to pass it off as thought it's a simple birth defect like being born with an extra toe seems really trivial to me.

Is the lack of a physical organ the main obstacle for a trans person, or the psychological incongruence that creates within your self concept? Not to mention that if it's merely a birth defect, that undermines any trans person who doesn't want reassignment surgery.

I'm not saying they're wrong by any means- I have no idea what it feels like to be trans. I just don't understand.

(Though this brings up an entire different question I have as to why we call it gender reassignment surgery and transgender if the issue is sex organs.)

@ Kurtni
I heard it's supposed to be called 'gender confirmation' surgery now. That is something I literally heard today.

I agree that being transgender shouldn't even be considered a mental disorder. It should be considered a physical disorder, if anything, because the body is the problem, not the mind.

Sometimes I wonder what my gender is, but honestly, how am I even supposed to tell? I like dressing like a girl and I like dressing like somewhat of a guy too. When people ask me what I am I tell them I'm a girl, but I think I just don't understand gender yet. Maybe it's because I am most likely cis? But then again, why am I a girl? I only say I'm a girl because I am physically a girl. I mean, what makes someone a girl/boy besides their genitals? I'm not trying to come off the wrong way, I just honestly don't know. I take the easy way out and say I'm a girl.

hello thread how you been
I'm a trans ace guy and I'm almost surprised no one's caught onto that yet... in real life, that is. I'm not out to anyone but one friend.

The Real Mitt Romney:

I mean, what makes someone a girl/boy besides their genitals?

Everything! Genitals have absolutely nothing to do with gender identity. Being DFAB (designated female at birth) doesn't make me a girl. Intersex people can be trans as well. While some people do undergo genital surgery, not every trans person does, and that's fine.