Slut-Shaming

@ cadaveres literarios

In my eyes I do not see any real slut-shaming, as in being harassed, bullied or hurt for being a slut. And only only on that basis. Anyone who was called a slut acted in the other's eyes (or viewed as) as a slut. That's all it is. It's a name people (mainly girl) call one another.

And again I don't think slut-shaming has anything to do with the rape culture. Being asked what someone wore, drank or anything is not slut-shaming. That is people drawling conclusions. Slut-Shaming is, by definition (especially if you take both words and out them together) is when a man or a woman is shamed on the pure basis of being a slut. As in that said person is harassed, bullied or hurt just because they are a slut. That to me does not exist. Any slut that has been harassed, bullied or hurt was because they harassed, bullied or hurt someone else and that person got revenge. Not because the slut was being a slut. But if course that is only my opinion on the matter. Doesn't mean I'm right or wrong because its an opinion. That's why they are opinions.

@ Psychotic Secrets
It's still slut shaming. Perpetuating an idea about some girl's perceive sexual life is still slut shaming. You are still calling her a slut over a perceived sexual slight. How can you not see that as slut shaming?

Rape victims are told the deserve it because of their clothes. That is slut shaming. It is in the media. Pay attention and you'll start seeing a lot of slut shaming in the media.

Shaming someone because you don't think their clothes are modest enough is slut shaming.

I don't think you understand what slut shaming is.

Shaming a woman is the process of hurting her over some perceived sexual slight.

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I think you see slut shaming only as the moral vindication of hurting someone is is (according to your definition) "actually" a slut.

But everyone gets to decide what their definition of slut is. And calling a woman a whore for wearing a miniskirt is slut shaming and it is hurting her.

@ dru's troubled soul

I still don't see any real forms of slut-shaming. And you really shouldn't listen to the media that much. Everything is biased, I paid attention in school for that subject. What the media, or an article or even the Internet says doesn't mean it's true. As stated, in my personal experience I have never seen any true form of slut-shaming.

@ Psychotic Secrets
I have never seen a killer whale in real life but that doesn't mean they aren't real. I've never seen a million dollars but that doesn't mean it's not real.

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Example of slut shaming by an idiot leading a sex discussion in school.

"At GW’s assembly, Stenzel allegedly told students that “if you take birth control, your mother probably hates you” and “I could look at any one of you in the eyes right now and tell if you’re going to be promiscuous.” (Article)

Those are examples of slut shaming, by calling girls on on perceived sexual behavior or by implying that birth control is a shameful thing.

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Ignoring the media or the media being biased doesn't mean it's slut shaming. In fact, slut shaming is a form of bias in a lot of case. Bias in media just supports slut shaming and the generalized idea of what is acceptable sexual behavior for women.

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Oh, and there is no definition for slut. Everyone decides their own. Therefore, you can't "only" shame "real sluts" because there's no such thing. What is a slut? Whatever makes you want to call that girl one. That's not a definition.

The point of calling slut-shaming out is that there is no such thing as a slut. Sluts don't exist.

Slut is a horribly disgusting and degrading word for all women, I absolutely cannot stand it when I see anyone using it. Especially other women. Why would you use a word that is degrading towards females? Slut-shaming is far too common anymore. It's far too acceptable for someone to call a woman a slut for being sexually free. A woman should be able to have casual sex without someone degrading her and harassing her by addressing her as a slut. If a woman wants to "sleep around" with multiple, more power to them. Just keep yourselves safe. Some people like sex, simple as that. Nothing wrong with it whatsoever and it upsets me that we think there is something wrong with it.

@ fat lamb
Why should we follow your morals though? Everyone has a different set of morals, just because they're not yours doesn't mean they don't have any. I don't believe in shaming sex or shaming women for having sex, I don't believe there is anything wrong with casual sex. Does this mean I have no morals? Of course not. I just have a different set than yours. My set of morals is just more liberal than yours is. Having casual sex and dressing "skimpy" is not a lack of morals. Many women love their bodies and different women show it off in different ways. Some women just like walking around in less clothes than you, and there's nothing wrong with it. The human body is not a shameful thing, there shouldn't be anything wrong with someone walking around in less clothes than you. There shouldn't even be anything wrong with someone naked because the human body is not something shameful that needs to be hidden. It's not degrading for men or women to show off their bodies. We have no problem seeing men walk around without their shirts on, why can't women do the same thing? Our chests are basically no different than a man's chest is. (Just as an example)

The point is, if you don't like casual sex or dressing in less clothing, then don't do it. That's your choice and no one should judge you for your choice. However, you need to respect that people don't see the same as you do. Some people enjoy sex and some people enjoy less clothing. There isn't anything wrong with it and there's no reason to use such degrading terms like 'slut' towards anyone for any reason. For example, you probably wouldn't call a gay person a 'faggot' nor would you call an African American a 'nigger'. So don't call another woman a slut, it's the same thing.

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@ Psychotic Secrets
Two wrongs don't make a right. Fighting fire with fire only creates a bigger fire. Someone judging you for your viewpoints doesn't excuse the use of derogatory terms. Them judging you is wrong, but by using a derogatory term towards them, you have become just as bad as they are. There is such a thing as slut-shaming, it worries me a bit that you don't think there is. The sheer fact you call women sluts is proof that slut-shaming is real. You shame these women for not bending towards your morals. It doesn't matter what your definition is, you're still using a derogatory term to hurt people. A woman being sexually active or showing off their bodies is not degrading themselves. In fact, many women who do it love themselves and their bodies, which is why they show them off. Like the old saying goes, they're proud of what they were given. Nothing is wrong with the human body. It's not a shameful thing and it shouldn't be seen as shameful to show it off.

People are bullying women for being "sluts". To use a derogatory term is bullying. Like I mentioned to the person above, would you call a gay person a 'faggot' for any reason? Would you call an African American a 'nigger' for any reason? No, you probably wouldn't because those are derogatory terms. So why use slut? It's the same thing, it's just a derogatory term towards women. No one deserves to have a derogatory term used on them. No one ever "deserves it". Derogatory terms are hurtful and there is never a reason to use them.

Morals and modesty haven't "died". Just because someone doesn't share your morals doesn't mean they don't have any. There are different kinds of morals. I see nothing wrong with the human body nor do I see anything wrong with casual sex, does this mean I have no morals? Of course not. It just means I've got a different set than you. If you don't like casual sex or showing off your body, then awesome. More power to you. Just don't do it. But don't degrade another person for choosing to do so.

@ Psychotic Secrets
I understand those are your opinions, but you can't possibly turn down scientific data, evidence that has been replicated time and time again because they do not fit what you believe in. Slut-shaming exists and it fuels rape culture. Any sociological, anthropological, or feminist book can tell you that and it is not biased evidence because it's tangible through (as dru pointed out) the mass media's portrayal of women and how it presents this virgin/slut dichotomy that places women with double standards.

What you describe as a "slut" is an inconsiderate prick who does not care for other's emotions (in the case where you said that they have sex or are sexual with another person's boyfriend); that does not make her a "slut"; it makes her an inconsiderate asshole.

Slut-shaming is not what you have described in there. Slut-shaming carries within its definition social contexts and connotations that define the word. A word like this, which was conceived in sociological/feminist theory, does not mean its literal meaning; it means the following: is defined as the act of making a woman feel guilty or inferior for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that deviate from traditional, or orthodox, gender expectations (this is taken from the following book: "The 'Right' Sexuality for Girls.". Chronicle of Higher Education 54 (42): B14–B15. ISSN 00095982

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It is also used as a form of victim blaming for rape and sexual assault, such as claiming the crime was caused (either in part or in full) due the woman wearing revealing clothing or previously acting in a forward, sexual manner before not consenting to sex.

(taken from: McCormack, Clare; Prostran, Nevena (2012). "Asking for It". International Feminist Journal of Politics 14 (3): 410–414. doi:10.1080/14616742.2012.699777).

Your definition is not the definition of what scholars and experts of the matter have defined.

I don't care what anyone says. I'm sticking with what I said. Even if my opinions aren't the same as others. I really do not care. I do not believe in slut-shaming. Plain and simple as that.

@ Psychotic Secrets
A lot of people don't believe in global warming either. We'll see where that gets them when the planet goes to shit.

@ dru's troubled soul

Even with that remark isn't going to prove anything.

Airi.:

Slut is a horribly disgusting and degrading word for all women, I absolutely cannot stand it when I see anyone using it. Especially other women. Why would you use a word that is degrading towards females? Slut-shaming is far too common anymore. It's far too acceptable for someone to call a woman a slut for being sexually free. A woman should be able to have casual sex without someone degrading her and harassing her by addressing her as a slut. If a woman wants to "sleep around" with multiple, more power to them. Just keep yourselves safe. Some people like sex, simple as that. Nothing wrong with it whatsoever and it upsets me that we think there is something wrong with it.

I agree. I don't think "slut" can or should be reclaimed for empowerment or otherwise. Saying "don't slut shame" when someone is criticising a sexual woman on the basis of her sexuality is labelling that woman a slut when she might wholly disagree with the label/term. You don't have the right to do that. We need a total rejection of the term as part of a rejection of the notion.

I got called a slut myself only because I prefered to hang out with guys instead of girls. My reasoning was less drama less cat fighting more focusing on my academics. The real problem I see is people making assumptions. Which in turn has lead to this thing called "slut-shamming"

Also All I wore was skinny jeans and v-neck t shirts of many bright colors. I was called a druggie before even though I have bnever touched the stuff and it was simply cause i have acne scars on my arms and chest. Also been called a tweeker when i was dancing in the rain simply because i enjoyed it.
I have been called many things simply because I didnt and refuse to this day to fit any specific persons definition of who i am. I confuse people because I am many things that dont make any reasonable sense. i am a catholic bisexual woman who is currently engaged but is pregnant out of wedlock. I am awalking contradiction. I am an irish scot- portugese american whose a effing lightweight.

Psychotic Secrets:

And I have yet to see a rape victim being called a slut for being raped.

Lucky you, haven't you heard of Rehtaeh Parsons?

Although, tbh, people who says that rape survivors are "slut shamed", that is, that they're shamed into rejecting their true inner sluttiness and restraining / repressing their sexuality are the absolute worst, please stop saying this, it would be hugely disrespectful even if "slut" were not the slur most often thrown at survivors.

pravda.:

I agree. I don't think "slut" can or should be reclaimed for empowerment or otherwise. Saying "don't slut shame" when someone is criticising a sexual woman on the basis of her sexuality is labelling that woman a slut when she might wholly disagree with the label/term. You don't have the right to do that. We need a total rejection of the term as part of a rejection of the notion.

Absolutely - I think the word "slut" is incredibly ugly anyway. It'd be best if just no one said it at all.

I fail to see how sex is degrading., in regards to one of the first posts. It's the most natural thing we could ever do, it's healthy for you (gets rid of migraines, colds, PMS symptoms, the like), helps you to bond further with your partner, it feels good, and it's fun. Tell me what is so "degrading" about that.

And, as someone pointed out on Tumblr - if a woman is degraded, tainted, or defiled by a man [sexually] touching her, who's the dirty one?

@ pravda.
I love the word 'slut'. I love to use it as a gleeful exclamation toward women I know well. If a friend of mine wore a super sexy dress I would be all 'you slut, I love your outfit' and that would be okay because it's being used in a positive way, not a negative way.

Additionally, the term 'slut' is often used in the BDSM community to denote certain fetishes, such as a 'pain slut'. It isn't used with negative connotation and isn't considered offensive.

dru's troubled soul:

I love the word 'slut'. I love to use it as a gleeful exclamation toward women I know well. If a friend of mine wore a super sexy dress I would be all 'you slut, I love your outfit' and that would be okay because it's being used in a positive way, not a negative way.

Additionally, the term 'slut' is often used in the BDSM community to denote certain fetishes, such as a 'pain slut'. It isn't used with negative connotation and isn't considered offensive.

You loving a word doesn't make it empowering. And you loving a word doesn't address my point, which was that using the term "slut shaming" to describe someone sex-policing can be (and I think is) as incorrect as what they're doing. Not as harmful, by any means - giving regard to the impact of each - but as inappropriate.

@ pravda.

I was addressing the issue of "reclaiming" the word, not the empowerment of it.

I don't think it's fair for someone who isn't in my group of friends (no offense) to decide what is appropriate or inappropriate for me to say to my friends. The way a person takes something, the audience it is delivered to, and the intent of the original statement all have a lot to do with whether or not something is appropriate.

I'm not saying I should walk up to a stranger and speak that way, but I think it's pretty preachy for someone to tell me that talking to my friends in a certain way is inappropriate. I'm not talking to them, talking to a public forum, and it doesn't effect them.

I don't think it is right to call anyone a slut, or to look down on anyone for how they dress or who they have sex with. That being said, it does concern me when I know someone is sleeping with someone they are not in love with. I don't look down on them or judge them, but it does make me sad because I don't believe that is the way we are meant to live. I do know that not everyone believes this though.