Slut-Shaming

@ memphisveil
But it contradicts with your original post. Guys can go to a beach with children or walk down the street with children with their shirt off. You just said women shouldn't do that if children are around, but you're for top freedom laws which allow that? Please elaborate.

@ gonna hear dru roar.
Oh! Aha! I see what you're saying. I did contradict myself. It's such a pain that society makes us all feel as if a girls chest is so much different than a guys just because there's more tissue and skin. I contradict my own thoughts there. I want it to be where a girl can be topless just as a guy. But the part of me that is taught by society thinks a girl requires a bit more modesty than a boy. It's ridiculous really.

In all reality, it's not a big deal if a person no matter the gender walks around naked. Everyone has the same parts or similar. It's the way society is and how we were raised to think otherwise. See how bad I contradict myself? Haha. I'm just glad I'm not the one to rule over that.

It's adorable when people think that they have the right to make decisions regarding someone else's sex life.

I really don't like this term, tbh. I think "slut" is very contextualized and can be changed to mean multiple things, and by using the term "slut-shaming," it's assumed that the person being called a slut also identifies as one. Slut is such a derogatory term, that I wish it had a better name. (I apologize for the language,) but if we were to apply this to race, I can guarantee we would call it "African American-shaming", not "Nigger-shaming". I wish there was a better substitute word.

@ Double Infinity.
Slut shaming doesn't mean the person being shamed identifies as a slut. It means the person doing the shaming has labelled that person a slut.

@ dru brings sexy back
But what about anti-slut shaming sites that argue "sluts are people too" and "stop shaming slut"? I feel like that may just be counter-productive, since most victims do not identify themselves as sluts.

@ Double Infinity.
They are trying to take back the word. There is no definition to the word slut, except the definition which one gives it. So even "pro-slut" sites are giving their own definition and saying "girls who like sex are people too" or "stop shaming girls who wear miniskirts". But slut shaming happens to rape victims or women in other countries who are honor killed for having sex before marriage by their families. I highly doubt the Maryville rape survivor identifies as a "slut", but she sure as hell is being slut-shamed.

"Taking back the word" is a very controversial subject in itself. Some people are all about it, thinking that if enough people claim the word they can change the definition of it. Others think the word should just not be used anymore. So that's really where you draw your person line. As a writer, I don't ever like to think a word is inherently evil.

For instance, the word "slut" has a very positive place in the BDSM community, where it is used like "pain slut" to mean someone who loves pain. But it isn't a derogatory term. I like to use it on myself and my girlfriends as a compliment. I refuse to use it as an insult. But some people don't like that I would see my friend Amy is a super sexy outfit and be like 'you hot slut'. She would, which is why it's okay to say that.

(Sorry for my essay, that was a long ass tangent.)

Double Infinity.:

@ dru brings sexy back
But what about anti-slut shaming sites that argue "sluts are people too" and "stop shaming slut"? I feel like that may just be counter-productive, since most victims do not identify themselves as sluts.

I kind of agree with you. Like, the whole slut walk concept. I get that it's done sarcastically and to confront stereotypes, but I think it just fuels anti-women people rather than helping the cause.

I think it's fine to "take back the word" in your personal life and among friends, but I don't really think it's effective as a national movement. We call it a slut walk and people who are anti women think "Yep, theyre right, they're a bunch of nasty sluts." The word slut isn't even the real problem, I don't care if someone calls me a slut, I care about the attitudes and beliefs they hold to do so. Eliminating the word "nigger" from public discourse doesn't stop people from saying and believing racist things, they just find a coy way to say it.

@ Kurtni
I thought Slut Walk was where survivors wore the outfit they were wearing when they were raped . . .

dru brings sexy back:

@ Kurtni
I thought Slut Walk was where survivors wore the outfit they were wearing when they were raped . . .

I've never really heard of that, I know that's not the norm at the ones I've seen.

You don't have to be a rape victim to participate or dress up. It started in Toronto after a cop said"women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized." Thus, the majority of the participants wear revealing clothes/underwear to challenge the idea that your clothing choice makes you responsible for rape.

I think this article has been posted in some thread on Mibba before, but this woman does a good job of explaining why their intentions are good but results are bad.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/keli-goff/slutwalk-new-york_b_993261.html

@ Kurtni
And I disagree heavily with the statement that women will always take their clothes off to get attention. In this case they took their clothes off for a specific reason and, yes, they were trying to get attention, but they were also making a statement.

I don't know. I love walking around naked in public when possible, so maybe that's why I take issue with this. I don't do it to get attention. I do it because I love being naked/almost naked.

dru brings sexy back:

@ Kurtni
And I disagree heavily with the statement that women will always take their clothes off to get attention. In this case they took their clothes off for a specific reason and, yes, they were trying to get attention, but they were also making a statement.

I don't know. I love walking around naked in public when possible, so maybe that's why I take issue with this. I don't do it to get attention. I do it because I love being naked/almost naked.

I think that's her point- the women participating disagree with that assumption, yet they're actively reinforcing that stereotype and not doing anything to actually help women.

...they play into the stereotype of women being intellectually inferior. Fair or not, the images from SlutWalk send the message that when push comes to shove, young women will always fall back on taking off their clothes to get attention, even when it comes to making a serious political statement....And the sad part is that doing so didn't really make any difference, at least not to victims of assault, but perhaps to members of the media who got a few nice soundbites and some sexy images to broadcast.

@ Kurtni
The bolded part sounds like slut-shaming to me. "Oh, these poor women are just sexy pictures on the screen and nothing more." A lot of women think SlutWalk and what it stands for is pretty awesome, I'm assuming. They are speaking out with a message that clothing is not consent. That's more than just "being sexy", which the author seems to think is the only think they are doing.

And I'm just trying to think of what would have been a "better" response? Putting on footie pajamas and saying 'okay, we will?'

drumonster.:

@ Double Infinity.
They are trying to take back the word. There is no definition to the word slut, except the definition which one gives it. So even "pro-slut" sites are giving their own definition and saying "girls who like sex are people too" or "stop shaming girls who wear miniskirts".

As a writer, I don't ever like to think a word is inherently evil.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently.

Back in high school, I got called a slut and whore a lot (even Pocahontas!) for being involved with an older man. And a lot of the time, hearing people say that it's "okay to be a slut" as a voice of empowerment to me and other females who experienced what I did or worse, didn't have much effect. I still think that with such a negative connotation tied to the majority social use of the word, saying that "being a slut is okay" is like saying "You have done done something wrong and sinful, but we acknowledge and tolerate you."

I'd like many, many more of the sex/miniskirt examples you gave to dominate anti-slut shaming/women empowerment organizations, and I'm so glad that we're focusing on it now. I think that's always been the most effective, at least in my experience of years of feeling like my sexuality must be wrong if I'm being so viciously bullied because of it.

drumonster.:

@ Kurtni
The bolded part sounds like slut-shaming to me. "Oh, these poor women are just sexy pictures on the screen and nothing more." A lot of women think SlutWalk and what it stands for is pretty awesome, I'm assuming. They are speaking out with a message that clothing is not consent. That's more than just "being sexy", which the author seems to think is the only think they are doing.

And I'm just trying to think of what would have been a "better" response? Putting on footie pajamas and saying 'okay, we will?'

Is any criticism of a woman slut shaming now? Criticizing someone's means of political activism because it's ineffective (not immoral or nasty) isn't slut shaming. I think you're taking it out of context, the author is saying that's how the public at large interprets the message of these women, and she's right. No one who isn't already a part of the movement learns anything (positive) about their message, they're just women dancing around the streets in their underwear to the media and passerby's. They're not creating new age feminists, they're fueling their opposition.

As for alternatives, how about intelligent discourse and debate aimed at the people actually doing the slut shaming? Fundraising for lawyers to appeal sexist court rulings and women's shelters to help women who are victims? Just about anything besides walking around as naked as public decency laws allow stands a better chance of actually helping women.

Dressing up with your fellow feminist friends in a rally full of people who are already anti-shaming feminists is useless at best, and harmful in the sense that it gets so much media attention that reinforces stereotypes rather than eradicating them.

@ Kurtni
Intelligent discourse is obviously wonderful. So is fundraising. But you have to get your message out there to get people to care.

Now I'm not saying you need to be half-naked to get that message out. Wendy Davis's trademark is her pink sneakers and there's nothing "sexual" about that. But marches and public rallies and such are necessary to get people to care. And if people choose to dress a certain way at those rallies, I don't think it's up to me to judge them for it.

I think concerning the Slut Walk, I think it's one of those things that's like Marmite. It either works for you or doesn't. Obviously for some people/guys it's just "Lol woman are naked so dumb" but for some people it is really empowering. I've also heard there is quite a lot of problematic issues with the Slut Walk organisers or whatever but I think it gets the message across for some and as long as we continue to have public events as well as intelligent discussion they can both make a difference.

I found this video discussing the use of slurs against feminist women* and I absolutely loved it. It deconstructs the usage of slut, bitch, and whore in an eloquently way in a manner of a letter to the "trolls".

I am now convinced that Halloween and the week of has become slut shame holiday. I can't tell you how many disgusting tweets I saw involving the word "slut" when it came to Halloween costumes that girls wear. It made me annoyed and sick. I rarely let things on twitter agitate me to the point I go on miniature rants about them. But HOLY SHIT ITS A DAMN HALLOWEEN COSTUME. WHO THE HELL CARES. WHY ARE YOU DEDICATING YOUR TIME TO PUTTING WOMEN DOWN OVER WANTING TO DRESS CUTE OR SEXY? That's their right and their decision. I don't even know how to put into words what I'm trying to say but if there was ever a doubt in my mind that slut shaming was real, it'd sure be gone after Halloween.

I'm about fucking done here. This popped out today on my newsfeed New Zealand Teen Rape Club: The Roast Busters.

I'm trying my best not to bash here; I really am, but I'm about to vomit because of the rage that I'm feeling right now. These -insert profanity here- went around New Zealand giving underage girls alcohol and when they were intoxicated, they would gang rape them and then shame them, the victim, on social media. One of them is the son of The Matrix costar Anthony Ray Parker (Dozer) and another of them is the son of a police officer. Having sex with someone under 13 is a crime in New Zealand, as well as having sex with someone who is intoxicated.

Police are doing absolutely nothing because they say all the evidence is "informal", since none of the victims has reported anything to the police. I mean, they have videos, blogs, facebook pages dedicated to them raping women, but it is "informal evidence" so it is not taken into account. To further that bullshit, police officials gave this statement, "None of the girls have been brave enough to make formal statements to us so we can take that to a prosecution stage." Don't you fucking dare to say that these women are cowards; I am beyond repulsed that this was even said.

I'm really raging right now. This is horrible and I can't fucking believe that there is nothing being done by the authorities. Instead, vigilantes have taken to sending death threats to the rapists.