Slut-Shaming

@dru is beautiful.
Yeah, that's a good point.

I honestly think that people really need to cut it out with slut shaming. Although I did genuinely cringe when I read earlier in the conversation that someone said that slut shaming doesn't exist. Sorry, but slut shaming absolutely does exist and it doesn't just happen to people that 'deserve it'. I've had friends that were slut shamed simply for having a friends with benefits relationship with a guy. They always used condoms, pretty much only had sex with that guy, but at the time didn't want anything more than that, and were routinely called a slut for that. What's the purpose for that?

And like it's been pointed out in this thread by other people, it's also routinely done to rape victims. Not even that long ago, a girl was wearing a tight top (not even anything super revealing), and there was a story about how she was attacked and raped. Even in the comments, people were saying that slut deserved it because of how she dressed.

I get it, I really do. If you're a traditional 'good girl', you shouldn't get mud slung at you for the way you live your life, but the fact of the matter is that the girls that decide to show more skin and go against that 'good girl' tradition don't deserve hate either. Also, the word 'modest' drives me nuts, because 'modest' is dictated by your particular view on sexuality. It's absolutely not concrete. In more conservative parts of the world (even within America), showing off your ankles or your hair is immodest. Hell, to some people, belly buttons are immodest. To pretend that it makes sense to be making a judgement call on someone being a 'slut' based on an arbitrary definition of what modesty is honestly confuses me.

You know, this reminds me of the incident with Rihanna. For those who don't know what Im referring to, Rihanna wore a dress made of crystals that was sheer enough to show her breasts and behind. When I personally saw the dress, I fell in love because 1. She was bold enough to wear it and 2. It is a fine looking dress. But she got a lot of heat from it, people calling her trashy, a slut and all kinds of stuff. Others liked the dress and so on. It just upsets me how sexualized this country is where showing breasts to the public is so taboo. I mean, most of us after birth saw a breast at least once in our life. It wasn't like her vagina was showing.

I'm not going to lie, I used to slut shame myself (Only I used to say ho, so more like ho shame) until I met some "hos" and came to befriend them and understand more about women and sexuality and how backwards it really is. It enlightened me. Now I no longer ho shame because 1. That would be hypocritical of me since I've done the whole friends with benefits things (which I don't recommend. Try F-buddies instead. Less emotional strain) 2. I don't think anyone should feel ashamed of themselves for expressing their sexual behaviors as long as they're safe and respect themselves 3. If a man/female just likes to fuck, and thats truly all they care for regarding their actions (without it being an outlet for personal struggles with love, acceptance and etc.) GREAT for them. I don't care who anyone fucks, as long as they're not hurting anyone in the process, including themselves.

@ Ayana Sioux
Rihanna got some racist slut shaming for wearing that dress.

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There's a focus on school dress codes right now. I like the one that says "when you send a girl home from school for a bra strap showing or too short shorts and tell her it's a 'distraction to the boys' you are telling her that boys have more right to an education than they do."

@ dru is beautiful.
Sending a girl home because a bra strap is showing? Hiding bra straps is a constant struggle during warm weather. Also, what do the people in charge think is going to happen? Boys will never notice tits exist until a bra strap is shown and then suddenly just: "BOOBS!"

Since when do teenage boys stare at a girl's shoulders long enough to notice a bra strap anyway?

@ CallusedSilk
I used to get so embarrassed if my strap showed. But it's seriously such a non issue. I've heard of girls being sent home for black nail polish too. It's all just a way to tell women presenting themselves according to society's standards is more important than getting an education.

Maybe teen boy gawkers should get sent home since a girl's education is more important than allowing him to sexualities her

@ dru is beautiful.
I think it's also that they don't think things through. If their goal is to create less distraction, flat out pointing out something they've deemed 'inappropriate' doesn't actually detract attention from it. If anything, it draws more attention to it and then every person, not just the one or two people that might have been looking, suddenly know about it. By the end of that hour, people are then talking about how that person got sent to the office or sent home because of their wardrobe, thus causing nothing but discussion about what that person was wearing.

I used to get a lot of heat for this in middle school. The crazy thing is that it wasn't even all of my teachers. Some of my teachers didn't seem to care. But this old teacher kept on commenting on my clothes. She would tell me to go to the office to get a change for my shirt because you could see the bra underneath. I had worn a pink bra. She really upset me. For me it was the last straw to my anger, especially since I was already having a bad day. She would send me for my shoulders being exposed, wearing tank tops. It got to the point where I was brainwashed into thinking that if a girl wore short shorts she was easy or something like that. Now when I think about it, it was wrong and I wish people didn't treat us that way. I even got sent because of cleavage (a lot). It made me really conscious later on about what I wore. But now I don't give two fucks because my inner thighs get really hot and so does my chest. So I'm going to rock booty shorts and tank tops all the time in the summer. I don't like to have to sweat excessively just because some fuck niggas can't control themselves (not saying all guys are fuck niggas).

If it was fair, I wouldn't be as upset. That means guys couldn't show arms, chest, wear tight shirts, or tight pants because frankly I like abs, ass, and arms.

A slut is an insult. We tend to forget that when someone is called that. Regardless if you believe "sleeping around" is wrong, or right, or whatever, if you call someone a slut, that's an insult. A lot of this is based on opinion, but is it really anyone's business? Why do I even care? I don't understand why someone cares who someone else sleeps with. Honestly, now the more that I think of it, the more I just don't care. It's none of our business. Seriously. It's an insult. That's that.