Dirty Little Secret [CLOSED]

Zack frowned, taking in the blood shot eyes and dishevelled appearance of his friend. "I wanna make sure your okay, man."

"I'm fine. Or I would be if everyone just left me alone." Pulling the blanket back over his shoulder, Johnny turned over, staring out of the little window by his bunk.

Sighing, Zack leant his arm against the side of the bunk to get a little closer to the bassist. "I get that you're hurting, J, but you can't keep locking yourself away from everyone, it's not healthy."

"Just go away, Zack, I'll be fine."

Huffing, Zack shook his head, not believing for one second that the guy would be fine. But he moved away and shut the curtain. The remaining members of the band were going to have to come up with a plan to put the band back together again.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

When show time rolled around, Johnny faked a smile for the crowd and acted as if everything was fine. To them, he seemed happy and as lively as he normally did, but to his fellow bandmates, he was distant and they were worried about his well being.

As soon as the show had ended, Johnny handed his bass off to one of the roadies before quickly heading back towards the bus. He heard fans calling for the others shaking his head a little he wasn't so surprised. It wasn't very often they actually seemed to want to see him.

Stepping onto the bus he was about to head towards his bunk when he heard Jimmy call his name.

"What do you want Rev?"

@ rachthebat.

Jimmy had to run to keep up with the bassist, out of breath as they got to the bus. He was shocked when Johnny turned to look at him, seeing with his own eyes, just how bad the guy looked. The sunken cheeks, the shadows under his beautiful brown eyes. Now bloodshot and cold. He'd done that. "God, J, I'm so sorry!"

"Like you keep saying. I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe, though."

Jimmy was fast running out of options, of words he could use to make his friend feel better. "I don't know what to do, what to say to make everything right again. I could apologise a million ways, but it won't make a blind bit of difference. Tell me what to do, Johnny!"

Johnny sighed, his hard resolve waning. "Just leave me alone, Jim. Leave me alone so I can get over you, please."

Jimmy nodded, looking down at his feet, all the fight leaving him. "Okay," he muttered quietly, "I'll leave you alone."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Turning again to head towards his bunk he heard Zacky call his name.

"Leave him Zack, he wants to be alone." he heard Jimmy say.

"But someone wants to see him-"

With curiosity getting the better of him, he turned around and he headed back towards the bus door.

"Zack, you know how he's been. Maybe we should j-"

"Who would want to see me?" Johnny questioned looking at the rhythm before seeing a person standing behind him. As he looked closer, he noticed a young girl standing and staring back at him.

"She did. Johnny, this is Amy. Amy, this is Johnny Christ."

"H-Hi."

"Hello."

"You look terrible." she blurted out before her eyes bugged out of her head when she realized what she said. "I-I mean you don't, but you look tired or s-something. I-I'm sorry that was rude of me and I didn't want to meet you to insult you." she stammered.

"Well, I haven't been sleeping much lately." Johnny said glaring slightly at Jimmy before turning his attention back to the girl. "What did you want to say?"

"I tried c-calling your name when you walked by and you didn't seem to hear me."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I was disappointed because you're kind of my favorite out of the band, no offense to the others, but you're the reason I wanna be a bass player someday. Jimmy and Zacky came over and saw I was kinda sad and said they'd help me find you. So here we are."

@ rachthebat.

"I'm your favourite? Not Synyster Gates or Zacky Vengeance?" Johnny didn't believe a word that came out of her mouth, convinced that someone had put her up to it.

"Yeah, you are. Your presence on stage is just mind blowing! I love it!"

"Okay, who put you up to this? Was it Zack? Matt? How much did they pay you?"

Amy frowned. "No one, no one paid me anything. I really wanted to meet you."

"Sorry kid, but I don't believe for one second that I could be anyone's favourite." Shaking his head, he turned to carry on to his bunk, wondering who's idea it was to play the sick joke on him.

Zack apologised to the fan, making up some bull shit story about Johnny recently receiving some bad news. He signed a few posters for her and promised her a VIP pass for the next show, ushering her off the bus and back to the crowd. Jogging up to Matt, he tapped the singer on the shoulder and cocked his head for Matt to follow him. "Dude, we have a problem. And that problem, is Johnny Christ."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

"Johnny what the hell?!" Jimmy followed the angry bassist to his bunk.

"Go away Rev. I know you or Zacky had to have put her up to that." he replied closing the curtain.

"What are you talking about? You never talk to fans like that." Johnny opened the curtain and stared at him.

"I hardly ever talk to them, period. Or if I do, it's always about someone else." he closed the curtain again and moved to turn on his side facing the wall.

"What do you mean by that?" Jimmy had opened the curtain.

"Are you really that blind Jimmy? Do you really not notice how all the focus is always on everyone else?"

"But it's not-"

"Maybe because they notice you. Nobody ever pays attention to me and if they do, it's only so they can get to Gates! It's always about him or Shadows! Or even you and Zacky but I don't matter to anyone. You've even proved you'd rather be with Gates over me..." Johnny choked as he felt tears well up in his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time.

Jimmy looked at the smaller man sympathetically before slowly reaching for him. "Johnny I-"

"Just leave me alone." Johnny muttered and curled up into a ball. Letting out a sigh, Jimmy closed the curtain and headed back towards the front of the bus.

@ rachthebat.

Jimmy walked back to the front of the bus, absolutely defeated. Johnny was right, he had chosen Gates over him. And that made Jimmy feel sick to his stomach. How he wished that a tardis would turn up right outside the bus and take him back a few years. To put right his wrongs. Glancing at Zack's questioning gaze, he shook his head, sadly, before sitting down next to Matt. "We have to do something for him, he's sinking deeper and deeper, guys."

Zack nodded, agreeing with the drummer. "Got any suggestions, anyone?"

The group shook their heads, faces blank. "It'll have to be either Zack or Matt," Jimmy murmured. "He won't believe anything me or Syn tell him."

Matt sat back and crossed his arms, trying to come up with a solution to help their depressed bassist.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

"I'm not even sure how much help I'll be." Zacky spoke up and looked at the others.

"Why would you think that?" Brian asked.

"He doesn't exactly like the fact that I gave you another chance. I mean I still don't like what you did, but it's in the past and I'm at least trying to just be friends with you again."

"Did he say anything that could hint as to why he acted that way Jim?" Matt questioned the drummer. "You were just back there with him, so maybe he said something to you?"

@ rachthebat.

Jimmy sighed, getting up off the couch to go raid the mini fridge. "He thinks that one of us put that fan up to it. He's really down in the dumps, Matt, believing that we'd all be better off without him. That none of us would miss him if anything happened to him." Grabbing a bag of cold chicken wings, he plopped back into his seat, throwing his legs up onto Zack's lap. "The fans all go for you and Brian, mostly, I think he's feeling a little unappreciated."

"So we just tell him that we appreciate him, job done." Matt folded his arms across his chest, snorting at how easy that problem was solved.

"No, Matt. It doesn't work like that." Zacky muttered, wrinkling his nose at the Rev's feet. "He wouldn't believe any of us, it would have to be someone outside the band."

"I have an idea," Brian chirped, getting to his feet. "Zack, can I borrow your laptop?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Uh, sure. Why do you want it exactly?"

"I think I've got a way we can snap him out of this." Brian said before heading towards Zacky's bunk to retrieve the laptop. The rest of the guys exchanged confused looks, unsure of what the lead was planning in his head.

"So what happened to the fan?" Matt questioned breaking the silence.

"We gave her backstage passes to the next show. She said she wasn't sure what was wrong with him, but that she hoped he felt better soon." Zacky replied.

"Even after he kinda took things out on her, she didn't let it bother her. She looks up to him so much and I just wish he could see that." Jimmy sighed.

@ rachthebat.

Brian busied himself for the rest of the night on Zack's laptop, hitting google straight after the machine powered on. Debating what to search for, he typed in Johnny's name and scrolling through the results he'd been given. Most of them were links to gossip pages, various rumours being picked at and pulled apart by avid fans. The third page down looked promising, though, a link to a fan site coming up as he clicked on it.

The heading "We all hail Johnny Christ" made Brian chuckle, thinking back to the fan video they'd made with Johnny holding a fake gun to Matt's head. Clicking on the enter button, he was taken through to another page, asking him to create an account. Thinking it wouldn't hurt, he used a fake name and email address, before signing in. What greeted him made his eyes widen with shock. There were post after post after post, all confessing their love for the vertically challenged bassist. Fan pictures, stories, banners made just for him.

If anything was going to get Johnny out of his funk, it was this.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky headed towards his bunk and noticed Brian staring at the laptop.

"Any luck?"

Brian nodded and handed the laptop over to the rhythm. "It took awhile, but I found something."

Crawling into the bunk to sit next to him, Zacky's eyes scanned the computer screen as he saw blogs, and stories written about the bassist.

"Are you sure this will work? I mean some of these stories-"

"But they're about him aren't they?"

"I don't know. I mean did you read any of them to see that they weren't just saying bad things about him?"

"Of course I did."

"Well, I just hope we can get him to look at these tomorrow."

@ rachthebat.

Brian nodded in agreement, closing the laptop down. "Me too. Maybe we could 'accidentally on purpose' leave the laptop on that page and just set it on the table, that way he might see it and get curious. And it wouldn't be one of us showing him, which he seems to have issues with, at the moment."

Zack sighed. "That makes sense, I just hope it works, I hate seeing him so down."

"That would be my fault," Brian mumbled, his cheeks heating up. "I feel really shitty for what I did to him, I wish he'd accept my apology."

Zack shrugged, slipping onto the sofa opposite Brian. "To be fair, it was both you and Jimmy. I think he feels betrayed by Jimmy the most, though. They were supposed to be a couple."

Like me and you were supposed to be, Brian thought. But he'd fucked that up, too. He wouldnt be surprised if Zack never looked at him in that way, ever again., He was grateful for small mercies, though, they were friends. Brian really couldn't ask for anything more. Lounging back against the arm of the chair, he looked to the ceiling. "I wish I could tell Johnny the reason why Jimmy stuck with me for so long, maybe then he would start to understand."

Zack chewed on his piercings, wondering if he should bring up what Jimmy had told him. "What do you mean?"

Brian shook his head, pulling himself to his feet. "Don't worry about it, it's nothing important." He really did not want to go there. "I'm gonna head to bed, night, Zee."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

"I- Night Brian." Zacky sighed before heading back towards his bunk and climbing into it. As much as he had wanted to bring up what Jimmy had told him, he decided that maybe it was best for Brian to just tell him when he was ready. Closing his eyes, he began drifting to sleep.

--

"Zack, wake up."

Groaning slightly as he stretched, he opened his eyes and saw Matt staring at him.

"What time is it?"

"Time to go work out."

"Do I have to?" the green eyed man pouted at the singer.

"You asked for my help didn't you? Now come on, let's go."

"Alright fine I'm up. Just let me do something first." Zacky mumbled rolling out of the bed. He grabbed his laptop and headed to the front of the bus.

"What are you doing?" Matt raised an eyebrow in confusion as he watched him set the laptop down on the table.

"Just trust me. I'll be out in a minute okay?" Zacky replied as he found the site that Brian had showed him the night before before leaving the laptop to follow Matt. He could only hope that Brian's plan would work.

@ rachthebat.

Zacky's calves were screaming at him to stop running, the sweat pouring out of him, a little unpleasant, but Matt was like a machine. They had stopped a few minutes prior to getting on the treadmills for a break, the rhythm slumping down into a seat and whining. Matt laughed, rolling his eyes and slapping his friend with a towel, the mantra 'no pain, no gain' sounding over his shoulder as he picked up a set of weights.

Back at the bus, Brian was slowly coming around, reluctant to open his eyes after the amazing dream he'd had. It had involved him, Zack and a tub of nutella, and he really didn't want to wake up from it. Groaning, he blinked, adjusting his eyes to the light. Swallowing, he wrinkled his nose at the taste in his mouth, pushing back the covers to search out some water. He heard a noise coming from the front of the bus, remembering that Zack would leave the laptop out for Johnny. Peeking through the sliding door, he smiled, seeing Johnny laughing at something he was reading on the laptop. He crossed his fingers, hoping their little plan had worked.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Johnny wasn't sure who had left the laptop open, but as he went to close it and shut it off, he had noticed something that caught his attention. It looked like a blog of some sort and from what he saw, it was a blog about him.

I wish people could see how much of an amazing person Johnny Christ is. He just seems so down to earth and not cocky like other people *cough* Syn *cough*

He chuckled as he read that. Apparently it wasn't just him thinking the lead was cocky. His eyes scanned the screen as he read more.

Don't get me wrong, I love the other guys, but there's something about him that stands out to me. Maybe it's the craziness on stage or the fact that he seems like a goof ball, but I love him and if I ever meet him I'll tell him that.

He stared at the laptop. Someone actually thought he was amazing? He clicked on another link and was brought to another blog.

The last few shows I've been to, Johnny doesn't seem like his usual goofy self. He seems like he's sad and that made me sad. I don't know what's going on or why he looks that way, but I wish there was something I could do to help him. A friend of mine tried to meet him, but according to Zacky he wasn't feeling well or was drunk or something. I hope he's not sick or anything. I don't want to even think about him possibly leaving the band. I just hope my friend is able to meet him soon and that Johnny feels better soon.

People were actually worried about him leaving? He may have been pissed about what happened between Jimmy and Brian, but not even that would keep him from playing unless they kicked him out. As his thoughts went back to the night before, he remembered the girl who had said she wanted to meet him and he felt an immense amount of guilt. He yelled at her thinking it was some cruel joke being played on him by the others. They had pulled a few pranks on him in the past, but now that he thought about it more, they wouldn't do something that terrible to him. He just hoped there was some way he could make it up to the girl if she did come back.

@ rachthebat.

That night, Johnny was bouncing around on stage like his usual self, but this time, the smile wasn't fake. Looking into the audience, he glanced at each of the smiling faces, wondering if there were any of his "army" there. He did stop to scan the crowd to see if the fan that he'd been rude to previously, was there, but with the amount of people all crammed into the small space, he had no hope of finding her. He just hoped she would wait around again, if she was. He owed her a big apology!

Looking over to his right, he grinned at Zack and Matt, plucking at the strings of his bass while banging his head to the beat that Jimmy provided. it felt like old times, when they were so hyped up on energy that they'd literally bounce around the stage. He even offered Brian and Jimmy genuine smiles when they passed each other, the lead and drummer shrugging at each other, but smiling, nonetheless. It was nice to have the old Johnny back.

The bassist had briefly wondered whether it had been their idea to leave the laptop open on that page, but he didn't call them out on it, knew they were just trying to help him out of the funk he'd gotten himself into. He wouldn't go as far as to say he had forgiven his friends for their betrayal - it would take a lot more than showing him a fan page to forget what Jimmy and Brian had done behind his back - but he felt safe in the knowledge that maybe they could be friends again, one day.

The last song of the set came all too quickly for them all, Zacky getting up on the stage riser and belting out the opening riff to Unholy Confessions, smirking smugly at the screaming fans. Handing his bass over to the techs, he wiped his face on a towel and strolled backstage, waving at Jason who was guiding the VIP fans through the myriad of doors and equipment. He smiled brighter when he recognised the fan that had tried to talk to him, trying to remember her name as he shouted to get her attention. "Hey!"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Johnny chuckled a little when the girl looked around before pointing at herself and mouthing 'Me?' to him. He smiled and nodded as he walked over to her.

"Hello again. Umm, Amy right?" Johnny questioned, praying he got her name right.

"Y-Yeah, hi again." she stuttered as she looked up at him. "I-I'm sorry about yesterday, I j-" she silenced herself when he held his hand up.

"I should be the one apologising, not you. It was rude of me to act the way I did." he said.

"I don't think any different of you. I mean I know other people might if they were in my position, but I know you were probably having a bad day."

"I haven't entirely been myself lately, and I've been dealing with some problems, but I still shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"You don't have to be sorry. Everyone has their bad days Johnny. If the guys have had fans say things to you as a joke, they're jerks for it, but I swear I really did mean what I said about you inspiring me to be a bass player one day. You're my favorite bass player ever and my favorite band member." she smiled shyly at him.

"Stay right here, I'll be right back." he told her before moving to go down the hallway. "Jason can I have one of my bass guitars?"

@ rachthebat.

The rest of the band looked on as Johnny talked with the fan, animatedly, a big smile on his face. They were happy that he was finally starting to show signs of coming out of the funk he had gotten into, laughing and joking with the roadies once again.

Johnny looked up as his name was called, thanking Jason for getting one of his custom designs. Offering the shiny new bass to Amy, he smiled. "Here, a present. You mentioned that you wanted to start playing, so here, you can practise on one of my custom designs."

Amy gasped in shock, shaking hands accepting the brand new guitar. "Really? For me? Oh my god, Johnny, thank you so much!"

Johnny laughed as she launched herself at him, curling an arm around her protectively. "You're more than welcome. Hey, maybe when I have some more free time, I could teach you how to play?"

It looked like Amy's eyes would pop out of her head as she stared back at the bassist, thinking all of her dreams had come true, all at once. "It would be an honour!"

"Great! That's settled then. Give me your number and I'll give you a call when this tour finishes." They swapped details and Johnny gave her one last hug, helping her down the stairs and out of the back door, bass guitar firmly on her back. After finishing a quick smoke, he headed back for the dressing room, finding Brian in there alone. Clearing his throat, nervously, he looked up at his, once best friend. They needed to clear the air, but he had no idea what to say.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Brian looked up and noticed the bassist looking at him. Still feeling a bit awkward he turned his head away and started heading towards the door.

"I was just leaving. You can-"

"Brian wait." Johnny spoke up causing the taller man to look at him slightly in shock. It was the first time in days he had actually called Brian by something other than his stage name.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? I'm the one who should be sorry. Hell, I am sorry for everything."

"I was an ass to you though."

"But you had a right to be. I mean if I was in your shoes, I'd probably be the same way."

"There may be a little more to why it upset me so much but I really don't want to get into that right now. I still haven't forgiven you for what you did but do you think it's possible to try and get things back to eventually being friends again?"

@ rachthebat.