Couldn't Get to You.

[I CLOSED THE TAB BEFORE I HIT SUBMIT ]

Red felt familiar to James, and he didn't want to question why. There was a part of his mind telling him it was left over of some twisted sense of patriotism. The identity that Hydra had forced onto him... And it was the only one he could still really hold onto, just until he could figure out who he was now. It was painful, but it was going to take a while to drive out the learnt behaviour. "I just think it would suit me..." He murmured, feeling slightly self-conscious of the choice. "Maybe... Maybe I could try blue as well?"

[THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST]

Clara nodded. "I'm sure it will." She said. She could tell that her comment had made him slightly self-conscious though that hadn't been her intention at all. It had been a harmless comment that she sort of wanted to take back now after seeing his reaction. "You can try whatever colors you want, James. Blue, red, purple, pink, orange. If you want to try every color of the rainbow, I won't stop you. Just pick out whatever you'd like." She sent a kind, reassuring smile his way.

"What about you?" He asked after a moment, hands moving articles of clothing around on the rail so he could examine them. Clara had more experience with this than he did. She knew what would make him fit in and what would make him stand out. It would have been much easier to ask Clara to just choose things for him, but this was something he supposed he had to get used to himself. "What do you think would suit me?" He knew he couldn't keep relying on Clara for overly simple tasks like choosing out clothes, but it was still something he needed to adjust to. It seemed trivial, but this was one of the first opportunities he had to start forming his own identity again, and he wasn't quite sure who he wanted to be yet.

Clara was somewhat taken aback by his words. She didn't know why, but the fact that her opinion seemed to matter enough for him to ask her what color she thought would suit him best surprised her. "I think blue would look nice on you...maybe grey as well. Both would bring out the color of your eyes, I reckon." She told him, a small smile gracing her lips. "Like I said before though, you can wear whatever you'd like to, James. I'm not going to tell you that you can't wear something." She wanted to give him the freedom that Hydra had never given him. She wanted him to have choices again. Even if it was something as trivial choosing what color shirts he wanted to wear.

"Gray," He nodded, searching through the clothing rail again. He wasn't sure about gray, considering the silver of his arm, but he was still willing to listen to her suggestion. James just needed a starting point, something to launch him in the right direction... And he trusted Clara. Considering how little time they had spent together, it felt odd to trust her. He still couldn't place her, and it bothered him. There was something nagging him about him, some little part of his subconscious that was constantly trying to figure her out. She felt familiar to him, and like a complete stranger at the same time. At least, as far as he knew, he was safe with her. That was the most important thing for now.

"You can try all of these on if you'd like. Decide whether you like them or not." Clara told him. The fact that he seemed to trust her so much honestly warmed her heart. She knew that, in part, it probably had something to do with the time they'd spent within Hydra together. Somewhere, deep within his subconscious, he had to know that he knew her from somewhere. She was glad that, despite everything, he trusted her. She wanted him to trust her and feel as though he was safe with her. There was really nothing more she could ask of him.

"Is there somewhere for me to try them on?" He asked, glancing up from the railing after he picked up a gray pullover shirt. He may not have minded getting changed in front of Clara, but he didn't exactly want to expose his arm in a public place suddenly. It made him stand out, and people could recognise it. It'd just be easier to take the three shirts he had picked up so far and go to a changing room. From there, he'd be able to choose what he did and didn't like. At least it would give him more direction in terms of what he could try on afterwards. James didn't understand why clothes shoping should be so difficult. It made him feel like he was failing to readjust.

Clara nodded. "There should be a few changing rooms in the back." She said. Without thinking twice about it, she took his hand and led him towards the back of the store. With the couple charade they'd been putting on since arriving in the city, one that had been so easy for her to fall into, it just wasn't something she'd thought about. She was comfortable with James, she knew that he wouldn't hurt her, and she liked to think that he was at least somewhat comfortable with her. Enough for him to ask her for her opinion on what colors she thought suited him best anyway.

It startled James slightly when Clara took his hand, but he eased into it quickly. He slid his fingers between hers, gently tightening the hold he had on her hand. There was some comforting in her touch, even if it was just an act. It reminded him that she was there with him, and grounded him again. It was easy for him to get caught up in his anxieties and his fears about his new life. She was there with him, and even if it wasn't for very long, at least he had her with him now. He followed her to the back of the store, shirts laying over his other arm as he walked. Once they found the changing rooms, he stepped instead and pulled the curtain behind himself.

Clara glanced down at their intertwined hands when his grip on hers tightened a bit. It was enough for it to be noticeable to her, but it wasn't like he was hurting her or anything. She held back the smile that threatened to tug at the corners of her lips. This was an act. They were pretending to be a couple, that was it. Once they reached the changing room, she let go of his hand and watched as he stepped inside one of the rooms and pulled the curtain closed. "Let me see once you've tried something on."

James peeled off the layers of clothing he had on carefully, setting them down beside him on the small stool. He straightened and turned to pick one of the shirts he'd hung up. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he froze for a moment. The area around his shoulder seemed to be slightly redder than usual. He brought his right hand up to touch the area next to the metal. It felt slightly warm to the touch, the scars still ever present on his skin. He couldn't remember the procedure, how they had attached it to him. The jagged scars suggested it wasn't a pleasant process. He rolled his shoulder, looking away quickly as he chose which shirt to put on. He pulled on the gray shirt first - Clara's suggestion - and opened the curtain again.

Clara waited outside of the changing room while he tried the shirts on. When he opened the curtain, she looked up and smiled. "That looks great on you, James." She told him. The color definitely brought out his eyes. a feature of his that had been one of the first she'd noticed when they first met. They were some of the bluest she'd ever seen, and she couldn't believe how much more expressive they were than they had once been. It was clear that he was much more comfortable around her, and willing to let his guard down a bit. She was glad. She wanted him to feel as though he could trust her.

"You think so?" It was a redundant question, considering Clara had already told him what she thought about the shirt. James was slowly starting to feel more and more uncomfortable. He'd tried the first shirt on and felt nothing. There was no excitement in trying on the clothes, or even dislike of what he was wearing. It changed nothing about how he felt. He just felt... void. It was causing him to question whether or not he truly would be able to reclaim some form of identity. The shirt wasn't uncomfortable or a poor fit, it just didn't seem to affect him in any way. Maybe he was just too far inside his own head, but he had expected some other sort of reaction from trying on the shirts.

"Of course." Clara said with a smile. "I wouldn't lie to you, James." Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as a look of concern crossed her face. Something was off. There was a sudden shift in his demeanor. He seemed more...uncomfortable than anything else right now. "Is everything alright?" She didn't want any of this to make him feel uncomfortable. If he was, they could stop and move on, just buy the few shirts they'd found and go elsewhere or head back to the motel room if he really wanted.

"Yeah, no it's fine..." James murmured, pushing up the right sleeve of the shirt. He felt stupid for feeling so awkward. "I'm just not used to all this..." He explained as he waved at the shirt and the changing room. It was such a simple task, something that shouldn't be affecting him this much. It was supposed to help, yet it just seemed to be reminding him of how much of an identity he lacked. He had no feelings about the shirt and that bothered him. James thought by trying new things on he'd get some sort of idea of what else he wanted. He was still just as confused.

Clara frowned slightly but nodded. She wasn't entirely convinced, but she wasn't going to pry too much. "If it's too overwhelming for whatever reason, we could finish doing this tomorrow." She offered. She had an inkling as to what might cause him to feel uncomfortable about all of this, but she wasn't going to say it outright. If he wasn't comfortable, he wasn't comfortable. She wasn't going to push him to tell her exactly what was bothering him. If he wanted to tell her, he would.

James hesitated for a moment. He may not have had a response to trying the clothes on, but her certainly had one to worrying about what Clara may have thought. He didn't want her to think that he was weird, or even start to think he was acting strange... It was just hard to hide the response or lack thereof, he was having. "They're all the same size..." James said quietly. "I know this one fits... Should we just buy them and go?" It was probably going to take him a few days to acclimatise to it all. That's what he kept telling himself. Maybe he was just taking too many steps at a time.

Clara didn't think that he was weird. He was acting differently than he had before, but she, of course, knew more about him than she was letting on. She needed to be careful about what she said and how she worded her questions. She didn't want to have to give that explanation today. Things were probably already a bit overwhelming as it was. "Yeah, we can do that. We'll look for other things another day. For now, its a start." She sent a small smile his way.

He gave a small nod before stepping back into the changing room. James got redressed without pausing to look at the redness on his shoulder. Hydra normally maintained the state of his arm. The technology on it had come a long way, but it still wasn't flawless. He just had to hope the irritation around his skin wasn't anything to worry about. He bundled up the clothes he'd attempted to try out and stepped back outside the changing room. "Do you wanna grab anything?" He offered, glancing around the store. It was quiet, and he didn't mind waiting around if Clara wanted to look for something for herself.

Clara shook her head. "I should be alright for a while." She said. She might have packed up the things in her apartment in a bit of a hurry, but she was certain that she had enough clothes to get by with for a while. They'd gotten some toiletries and other things in the drugstore earlier, so that was fine as well. "We can get some takeout and head back to the room after this if you'd like. I'm sure Cap misses you." She sent a small smile his way.