A Boy Who Likes a Boy Is a Dead Boy

It would always confuse Bucky why no one saw how great a guy Steve was, why none of the girls seemed to be flinging themselves at him... They would always seem so much more interested in Bucky, which confused him even further. It was obvious to him that between the both of them, Steve was the better guy. He was kinder, more loyal, and generally just the better half of their friendship. It not only confused Bucky, but it plagued him at night, why he was the only one who saw Steve that way... It seemed like some cruel joke on God's behalf, to put someone as interesting and kind as Steve on the earth, and make Bucky the only one who seemed to notice it. He didn't want to say he was the only one to love Steve, he didn't want to admit it. He probably never would... He hoped if he kept setting them both up on dates, they'd both eventually find someone that would keep Steve happy, and stop Bucky thinking those sorts of thing about his best friend. "C'mon, Steve," He laughed softly, planting a firm hand onto his small friend's shoulder. "This one'll be the one, I swear..."

Steve really didn't understand why Bucky was doing this. The first few dates he'd put up with, maybe something good would come of them, but the thing was, nothing ever did. None of the girls ever liked him, they were all more interested in his best friend, though Bucky was kind of oblivious to that fact, or so it seemed anyway. Steve just kept telling himself that he'd find someone eventually, but he was starting to think twice about that. There had just been so many different dates, all set up by Bucky of course, and none of them ever really worked out. What else was he supposed to think? "You say that every time, Buck."

The truth was that Bucky only had selfish reasons to set up the dates. Any friend would do this, but not for the reason that he did. It wasn't that he didn't want Steve to be happy... He wanted that more than anything. The problem was that he wanted Steve to be happy with him. As much as he wanted that, he also knew how incredibly wrong it was of him to think of his best friend in such a way. Bucky wanted Steve to be happy, and he wanted someone to distract him from what he couldn't have. "And this time I mean it!" He laughed, squeezing Steve's slender shoulder. Bucky purposely ensured that his hand didn't linger for any time longer than would be suspicious. "Look Steve, you've just got to find the right girl... This time'll be better, I swear."

Steve didn't know why he always agreed to go out on these dates that Bucky set up. He knew that he could just say no, or make up an excuse as to why he couldn't go, but he never did that. The thing was, Bucky was his best friend. He knew that he probably only had his best interests at heart, and he'd feel bad if he said no, and it wasn't like he could really come up with an excuse. He could, but it wouldn't be a convincing one at all. "And why is it going to be better this time? What makes this time so special?" He couldn't help being a little pessimistic. It wasn't really in his nature at all, but he was really just starting to get fed up with all of these dates where nothing ever ended up coming from them.

"Because they're nice girls!" Bucky retorted, some forced humour in his voice as he spoke. He was slowly becomin as fed up as Steve with all these dates... He just needed someone who was at least intersted enough for him to pretend that he had any feelings for her... But Steve was still the priority. He was certian that if Steve was happy, then he would be happy, and these feelings had to go away... Or so he hoped. "I told 'em heaps of good stuff about you... Like how artistic you are! Girls love that kinda thing, and she doesn't care how you look." Bucky personally couldn't understand why girls didn't find Steve attractive, with his blond hair and blue eyes... His heart made up for what his stature lacked. He just wished he wasn't the only one who saw it.

Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He felt like Bucky said that about all of the girls who he arranged dates for him with. He didn't want to come across as overly pessimistic though, and he really didn't want to give his friend a hard time about all of this either. He knew that Bucky was probably only doing this because he had his best interests at heart, but that didn't mean that he wasn't getting at least a little fed up with all of this. "She hasn't met me yet." He mumbled, unable to bite back the comment.

"Hey, woah, woah." Bucky chimed, coming to an abrupt stop. He took hold of the back of Steve's collar, pulling him to a stop with him so that the smaller of the two didn't have the chance to leave without talking to Bucky first. It wasn't the kind of thing he wanted to hear his best friend saying, those sorts of comments were enough to break Bucky's heart. Nothing hurt more than knowing that someone as fantastic as Steve couldn't see how amazing he was. It was time Steve stopped believing what everyone else thought about him, and maybe started seeing himself as the guy that Bucky knew him to be. "Steve," His voice was soft, but the concern and resentment for that comment was obvious. "C'mon, how do you expect girls to see you as the great guy you are when you don't see it?"

Steve shouldn't have been at all surprised that Bucky would stop him after saying something like that. And he probably would have kept walking if his friend hadn't pulled him back too. Letting out a soft sigh, he turned to look to his friend, already able to tell what he'd say because of the expression that was on his face. "If I'm so great, why have none of them noticed yet?" He countered. "Buck, you set up dates like this all the time, and nothing ever comes of any of them. It can't be the girls every single time, it has to be me."

"It's the girls, Steve." Bucky spoke slightly more harshly than he intended to, but the truth was that he was just tired of everyone getting Steve down all the time. There was no other guy who deserved to know how great he was. He took a deep breath in, trying to stay calm as he spoke. None of it was Steve's fault. It wasn't his fault that no one else saw how great he was, or that Bucky was having all these weird thoughts about his best friend. It was all just so frustrating. Especially when he seemed to be the reason none of these girls were interested in Steve. The girls were interested in him, yet he was interested in Steve. It all seemed like one big, cruel joke. "It's gonna take a great girl to recognise a great guy, alright? Don't let the rest of them drag you down."

Steve wanted to believe Bucky. He wanted to believe that his friend was right, but he really couldn't, not after all of the dates he'd gone on that had gone wrong. How could it always be the girls and not even once be him? It just didn't make any sense to him at all. After a few moments of silence had passed, he finally let out a soft sigh and nodded. "Alright." He said. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Maybe it's me," Bucky laughed after a moment, giving Steve's shoulder a firm pat once more. "None of the girls have been interested in me afterwards as well." He reminded his friend as they started walking once more. It was true, the girls seemed perfectly interested in him before, and for most of their dates... But afterwards, it wasn't common for them to contact Bucky again, or even keep eye contact with him were they to bump into one another. He wasn't a good date, evidently. "You know that little burger joint we found? I figured we'd take 'em there."

Steve really doubted that his friend was the problem. All the girls seemed to love Bucky, so why would it be him? It made more sense for it to be Steve. None of them ever seemed to take any interest in him whatsoever, so how could it possibly be Bucky? "They aren't interested in me at all." He argued. They all were interested in Bucky at first, and then something usually happened on the date, but there was never a time when a girl was actually interested in him. He nodded. "They'll probably like that."

"I can't see why girls wouldn't be interested in a punk like you," Bucky shrugged, tugging his hands into his trouser pockets as they walked along. At least Steve kept himself clean, and neat. More often than not, Bucky had bruised knuckles, or motor oil on his hands from whatever jobs he had managed to grab in the passing week. There had been more than one occasion where Bucky had turned up to their dates, late and with grease on his arms or face. Maybe it was just too obvious to girls that whilst they may have been head over heels for him, his interest definitely laid elsewhere. He just hoped they thought he was in love with some other dame, and not his best friend. "You've got that whole wounded poet thing going for you... Dames love that kinda thing... I think."

"I guess they're all more interested in jerks like you." Steve said, shrugging his shoulders. He knew that Bucky wasn't really all that clean cut, and he almost always showed up to the dates that he set up for them late, but he knew how to talk to girls. Steve was completely helpless when it came to that. He didn't know what he was doing at all, and he almost always ended up saying the wrong thing. It was a complete mess. Sure, he seemed a little bit distracted at times, and his concerns always seemed to be elsewhere, but other than that, the girls seemed to like Bucky. It had been like that for a while now, and Steve didn't really understand why his friend didn't have a beautiful dame yet. He had so many options, unlike Steve. Or, at least that was how he saw it anyway. "You think? That's real convincing, Buck." He chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

"Hey, I don't know," Bucky shrugged, his expression one of confusion and some sense of disinterest. "I know as much about women as you do, punk." He was even willing to say that he was in fact less aware about girls than Steve was these days. There was just something about them that he couldn't get his head around... He found himself picking at all their flaws, even though he knew he wasn't exactly the perfect guy either. Their hair would be too dark, their eyes would be too green, their voices too nasally, they were too tall... Bucky had caught himself doing it more than the once now. He was comparing them to Steve, the best friend that would tuck into his side so easily whenever he flung his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders... His hair was the right shade of blonde, his eyes the perfect shade of blue... And it somewhat repulsed Bucky, to see the beauty in him that he should have been seeing in the girls they were dating. "They're always complaining about feelings and stuff, to me at least... Creativity's what they want."

Steve knew that Bucky was pretty much as clueless as he was when it came to women. Most believed his friend to be a charmer, a ladies man even, but Steve knew that Bucky was just really quick at thinking on his feet. That, and there was just something that he had, that Steve obviously didn't have, that was extremely appealing to women for some reason. He wasn't going to mention that. He knew that Bucky wouldn't be too pleased to hear him putting himself down again, so he was going to bite his tongue for right now and pretend that the thought hadn't crossed his mind once. "They must think you're a good listener or something." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "None of 'em ever talk to me about their feelings."

Bucky knew that people, not only women, were fickle things. They were also superficial, and seemingly refused to look past Steve's exterior. Sure, Bucky could admit that his friend wasn't the peak of physical fitness. They spent more time indoors when they were younger instead of playing out in the street like the other kids, because of Steve's health problems. It never bugged Bucky, not even once. He had seen Steve go through much worse, and actually look much work... Now, he was a handsome young man, with a heart and head of gold. "Good listener my ass," Bucky scoffed, eyes cast on the ground as he kicked a stray pebble from his path. "It goes in one ear and out the other. I just smile and nod."

People were superficial. They dwelled on overly petty things like appearance, and that was something that Steve had come to learn and accept rather quickly. He knew that Bucky believed that he shouldn't have to accept that, but he did, and he wasn't necessarily giving up on finding the right partner so to speak, he just wasn't trying too hard to find said person. "Well, you must be a good actor then, because they all seem to want to talk about their problems with you."

"I don't know why," Bucky mused, eyes forward now as they turned the corner. He enjoyed walking the streets of Brooklyn with Steve, especially on the ways to dates like this. As much as he tried to tell himself that distancing himself was important, especially with his current thought process, he would always enjoy time alone with his best friend. He'd always love spending time with Steve. There was never pressure to impress one another, or to keep each other entertained. Everything was just natural between them. Maybe the reason why girls always wanted to tell Bucky their problems was because he seemed to understand. He did. He understood for all the wrong reasons. His mind was elsewhere when they spoke to them, some times his eyes would wander over to the unsuspecting Steve, and Bucky just... knew. "I always get distracted."