A Boy Who Likes a Boy Is a Dead Boy

"Don't be like that? Really? Because, how I see it, you'd be better off without me constantly dragging you down." Steve said. He didn't understand why Bucky still set these dates up in the first place. It was just one disaster after another. None of the girls ever really took an interest to him, they were all just interested in his best friend. And that didn't even really bother Steve. He still figured that none of them really mattered, that he'd know when the right one came along. The right partner. He sighed, shaking his head as he moved to step away from is friend when he pulled him against his side and started down the sidewalk. "You should go back in there. I'm sure they'd go dancing with you or something if you apologized."

Bucky gave his friend a lazy shrug in response, refusing to take his arm away from the smaller boy's shoulders as they walked down the street. "Ah, who needs 'em?" He laughed softly, shaking his head. The more he thought about it, the more he came to realise that he didn't want any business with girls who refused to look past their first impression of Steve. Even if he was interested in them, they'd have to at least make an effort to be nice to his friend if they wanted any chance with him. Steve came first in a lot of aspects of Bucky's life, and it seemed his love life was no exception to that. Sure, he would have preferred if Steve wasn't so much of a concern in that respect. But right now, he wanted to make sure his best friend was happy. "Let's go catch a movie. I'm dying for some movie theatre popcorn."

[Can I just say that I'm getting sooo many feels because we have Bucky at different stages in all of our roleplays? Like pre-war Bucky, post-war Bucky, post-TWS Bucky and pre-TWS Bucky, and just SO MANY EMOTIONS ]

Steve didn't understand why, but it honestly seemed like Bucky could care less about those girls. He was giving his friend the perfect opportunity to go back into the diner and have a girl on each arm for the rest of the night. Any other eligible bachelor in New York would have seized that opportunity in a heartbeat, but not Bucky. No, Bucky would rather stay with his sickly friend and go and see a movie. And on a perfect Friday night no less. It just struck Steve as strange sometimes, that's all. "You're seriously going to pass up that opportunity? Why did you even set this whole thing up in the first place then?"

[ RP ALL THE BUCKYS... and suffer all the emotions...]

Bucky pursed his lips for a moment, searching for the perfect answer. "Because, Steve, I think I'm in love with you... and I'm not comfortable with that. So I'm hoping if I find the right girl for you, I'll be able to support you and see you happy, and hopefully, move on." He knew the truth was always the best thing to say, but in this situation, it just didn't seem right. There was nothing that would convince Bucky that it was best to ruin their friendship just for the sake of getting his feelings off his chest. "Not really a great opportunity though, is it?" Bucky laughed, trying to use humour to cover up how he really felt. "Nancy's a nice girl and all... But man, Betty? She's been chewing my ear off ever since I set this whole thing up. I want a gal, not a mother." Taking his arm away from Steve's shoulders, Bucky placed his hands firmly onto his own hips. His voice went higher, poorly mimicking that of a girls. "Tuck your shirt in. Comb your hair. I won't call you Bucky, your name is James."

[TOO MANY FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS FOR BUCKY BARNES]

Steve never really understood why Bucky was always so hellbent on dragging him along on these dates. The fact that his friend might have feelings for him, feelings that surpassed that of a best friend, had never once crossed his mind. He and Bucky were best friends, brothers even, and that's all he'd ever really seen him as. Bucky was just always there for him, even when he didn't want him to be. "It's not?" He asked, punctuating his words with a raised eyebrow. Why wouldn't it be a good opportunity? He'd been too busy trying to make conversation with Nancy to realize what was going on with his friend and Betty. "Was she really that bad?" He asked, unable to help laughing at Bucky's poor imitation of the girl.

"Oh man," Bucky laughed, shaking his head. "She was worse than bad." When it came down to it, Betty was probably a pretty sweet girl. She just went about it in the wrong way, and it was hard for girls to really impress him anymore. He felt like he had heard and seen it all from them now, and it was all just becoming so boring... He never felt bored with Steve. Maybe it was because he always seemed to be pulling Steve out of some school yard dumpster, or dragging him out of a street scrap. Steve kept him on his toes, for all the wrong reasons. Yet Bucky wouldn't have traded any of it for the world. "Could you imagine though? Betty and Bucky? You might as well call us Sweaty and Yucky."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it wouldn't have ever worked out with you two." Steve mused, giving his shoulders a slight shrug. He wanted to say that that seemed to be the case with all of the other girls that Bucky had gone out with over the years, but he didn't. Maybe it was just a coincidence. He was sure that the right girl for Bucky was out there somewhere, just as the right one for him was too.

Steve was definitely the more romantic of the pair. Over time, as Bucky had struggled to come to terms with his feelings, he'd lost a sense of romance. All that seemed to linger with him was a sense of cynicism. Whatever feelings he had started harbouring for Steve, he didn't see it as love. Or at least he didn't want to admit that it was any sort of romantic inclination. It was just wrong. He was constantly reminded of that, and it had become harder for him to see anything as romantic anymore. Not when the world seemed so cruel as to inflict this upon him. "I'm pretty certain she only wanted to go out to make McCluskey jealous anyhow."

"You really think she'd do something like that?" Steve asked, kind of surprised. He was honestly pretty clueless when it came to girls. He didn't know how to talk to them at all. He usually just rambled on about nothing and embarrassed himself terribly. Bucky was a lot better at it than he was. He was quite popular with 'em too, always had been. Why he made time for a scrawny kid like him was beyond him.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Bucky gave a casual shrug, thinking the question over. "Guys do it all the time... Don't see why gals wouldn't be capable of it either." The truth of it was, Bucky found girls to actually be nastier than boys at times. If guys didn't like you, they'd tell you to your face. More specifically, around Brooklyn, with a punch to the face. Girls were sneaky about it. Rumours rarely started from the guys in their school. They more often than not led back to a girl scorned.

"But you think Betty would really do that?" Steve asked, looking up to his friend. "That she'd only go out with you to make McCluskey jealous?" Maybe he just saw the good in people, or maybe he just really didn't know anything about girls and relationships and romance, but it just came as such a surprise to him. It could just be that he didn't like the idea of someone using Bucky, his best friend, like that. He didn't really know.

"Well," Bucky breathed out, kicking a stray soda can along the pavement. "Even if she did, or she didn't, I've got a hell of a shiner waiting for me at school." School was often frustrating for Bucky, but no where near as frustrating as it was for his teachers. They all said the same thing. James Buchanan Barnes was a smart kid, but he lacked guidance in his life, and often spent his time in the infirmary or in disciplinary action. They said it was common, for boys who didn't have a stable family, and that maybe it was to do with feeling unsettled as they were sifted through foster homes. Bucky saw it in a very simple way; if he didn't take the beatings, Steve would. He could bounce back from a kicking quicker than Steve could. If he stuck up for Steve, guys like McCluskey would leave him alone... They'd stop tearing up his art folder, and tear the collar off Bucky's shirts instead. It all evened out in the end.

"I wish you wouldn't say anything, y'know." Steve said, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. Bucky was the only person who really ever stood up for him at school. Bullies like McCluskey left him alone because of it, but then his friend took the extent of the beatings instead. "I wish you'd just let things be, but I know that you won't."

Since they had been kids, Bucky had felt a strange sense of responsibility for Steve. He wasn't overly protective of anyone else, and he wasn't particularly quick to jump to the defence of others. It didn't mean that he never did, it was just that it was instinctive with Steve. "Hey, I'm not saying anything this time." Bucky scoffed, glancing across at his friends. "The only one blaggin' here is Betty..."

Steve scoffed slightly. "Like I haven't heard that one before..." He said sarcastically. It wasn't so much that he didn't appreciate Bucky standing up for him the way that he did, it was just that he didn't like seeing his friend take all of the kicks and punches for him. He felt bad. Sometimes, he even felt like he wasn't really worth all of that trouble, not that he'd ever actually voice that fact to Bucky or anything like that.

Bucky really didn't mind taking the kicks and the punches when he needed to. No one ever liked getting beaten up, but in the darkest corner of his mind, Bucky somewhat felt like he deserved it. He was protecting his friend, but in more ways than one. It may have been fro the physical attacks from school yard bullies, but it also felt like it was from himself. He was the one thinking about his friend in a way that just seemed wrong... And maybe all those beatings were some sort of punishment for that. He was aware of the fact the violence was wrong, but it also felt strangely justified. "What?!" Bucky protested with a laugh, "I'm never the one spreading the gossip!"

"No..." Steve said, shaking his head. "I wasn't talking about spreading gossip. I was talking about running your mouth around guys like McCluskey and taking the beatings whenever they say something to me...I don't like seeing you take the fall for me, Buck." This was a conversation that they'd had countless other times, and things never seemed to change. Bucky still stood up for him, and while he wished that he didn't, Steve knew that he was just being a good friend.

Bucky scoffed obnoxiously, rolling his eyes. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate his friends concern for him... It was more that the beatings no longer seemed to bother him all too much. It just rolled off his back now. Sure, he'd be sore for a few days, but it was never anything he couldn't bounce back from. "I wouldn't call them beatings. McCluskey can barely swing a baseball bat, let alone a proper punch."

Steve frowned. "That doesn't make me feel any better." He mumbled. While he appreciated everything that Bucky did for him, that didn't mean that it didn't bother him. It did. Bucky shouldn't have to take the fall for him all the time. He should be able to stand up for himself, and he did most of the time, even when it was a guy like McCluskey who was twice his size.

"Look, I can deal with being slammed into a locker from time to time," Bucky shrugged once more, looking down at his feet once more. He often wondered what school would be like if he actually got his head down, and didn't fight. There was a lot of pent up frustration lingering in him, all of which he was the source of. Instead of putting it into work, like he was capable of doing, he often got into scraps. It was a weird sense of relief, and it protected his friend. "I'd rather I get a black eye that some asshole tears up your sketchbook again."