The Devil Took Your Memory

Bucky could only give a firm nod as he pulled his hand back from her hair. Natalia had nothing to thank him for. He hadn't been entirely sure himself what he had done, or why he he had done it... All he knew was that he was looking out for her. In this sort of situation, it was all they seemed to have. What instead took him by surprise was Hydra's lack of response. No one seemed to be running to take him to the ground, or serve some sort of punishment for his retaliation. As he glanced around the room, the men stood staring at the two of them, a smug look about them all. One man smirked silently, his head low as he scribbled something down on a clip board. "Не благодарите меня ..."

They hadn't done anything yet. Hydra hadn't done anything about Bucky's sudden outburst, and Natalia found it to be rather surprising to say the least. Though, as she looked around the room at the agents, she noticed the smug expressions on their faces. It was almost as though they'd all been expecting something like this to happen; it seemed that way anyway. It was a little unnerving to say the least. "Почему я не должен благодарить?"

"Я думаю, что мы попали в ловушку" Bucky whispered. Nobody had ever stopped them from speaking to one another in Russian, but they'd also never let on to whether or not they understood the two of them. He didn't want to risk them overhearing, not when he was already on edge about the entire situation. Had they expected Bucky to lash out? Had they wanted it from him? To think that he had given them exactly what they wanted made his stomach drop. They were conditioning him, and apparently, it was starting to work.

Natalia's gaze flicked around the room for a moment, to the still smug-looking men, before it shifted back over to Bucky. "Вы думаете, что они имели в виду, чтобы это произошло?" She said, her words just as soft as his had been. Had they wanted Bucky to lash out like that? Was that their plan this whole time? If so, what was going to happen next?

"Я думаю что я дал им то что они хотели..." Bucky whispered, his eyes fixed on Natalia as he spoke. He couldn't bring himself to look at the men in the room, knowing their expressions would only confirm his fears. Had they really wanted this from him? To see him lash out in such a violent way, even if it was against one of their own men? What was it they expected of him? How far gone was he? The expression on his face was one of utter defeat, and disappointment for himself. He was becoming exactly what they wanted of him... A weapon.

Natalia, as much as she hated to admit it, knew that Bucky was right. He had given those men exactly what they wanted. And she could tell that this was something that didn't sit well with Bucky either. It was probably the last thing that he wanted to happen. "Вы были только делать то, что вы думали, был прав ... вы защищали меня." She said quietly, a small frown tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Я всегда буду защищать тебя ... Но я не думаю, что они искали защиты." He murmured, before finally looking away from Natalia. There was some movement in the room, the men filing out as though they were finished for the day. Bucky wasn't entirely sure what it meant for them, but one thing was for certain, Hydra had seen the process they had been hoping for. There was no need to continue when they already had what they wanted.

His words really stuck with her. He'd always protect her...maybe she really could trust him. Up until this point, that wasn't really something that had crossed Natalia's mind. While she and Bucky had gotten a bit closer over time, she had never really reached the point where she knew that she could trust him. Until now. "Забудьте о них ..." She said quietly. Though he wasn't looking at her, she knew that he could still hear her. "Вы дали им то, что они хотели, но что с того? Вы были хорошие намерения. Ты хороший человек."

"помедленнее," Bucky whispered, her words serving to confuse him "помедленнее..." He may have been able to learn a great deal of Russian from her, but he wasn't entirely perfect just yet. Some of his words still had a Brooklyn twang to them, no matter how hard he tried to mimic her accent. It had crossed his mind, that perhaps whatever Hydra had done to him had served to accelerate he could learn things like new languages... But clearly, it wasn't a wish granter. He took a moment to repeat her words in his mind for a moment as he went about translating them. It only took two words for the confused expression on his face to soften, something he hadn't heard in a while; "good man."

Natalia watched him for a few moments. She could tell that her words had confused him, though it didn't seem as though they had been lost in translation. Instead, it just seemed as though the phrase was a foreign one to him. "Вы знаете, что, не так ли? Это ты хороший человек?" She asked him quietly.

"Хороший человек..." He repeated, his eyes still trained on her face. That was an issue with war. Bucky was no longer sure if he really was a good man. He didn't know where soldier's duties ended and moral failure began. Did he have a right to kill people, just because he was a soldier? Those were still people's sons, husbands, fathers... He had taken lives without thought, because it was expected of him. "Это все, что я хочу быть."

"Это то, что вы есть." Natalia said quietly, her eyes never once leaving him. While she didn't know him very well, she knew that much about him. If he wasn't a good man, he would have let that man do whatever it was that he was going to do to her. He probably would have stood back and watched, but he hadn't, and it was because he hadn't that made her know that he was a good man.

There was something in Natalia's expression that tore Bucky apart. As much as he had tried to remain optimistic about their situation, he had struggled... There was a sense of optimism in her words, some sort of hope resonating with him that they would be okay. He hadn't been there much longer than she had, but he knew what they were capable of. In this place, there were no good people. There was Hydra, and them. The truth of it was, Bucky was willing to do anything to get out. He would protect Natalia as much as he could... But the same couldn't be said of any others.

Natalia really wished that Bucky could see what she saw in him. She wished that he could realize that he really was a good man, but she knew that there was something stopping him from doing so. She didn't know what it was, she really didn't know him at all, but she did know that there was something holding him back. Something big.

Bucky often wondered if Natalia knew who he was. If she had any idea who Captain America was, or who his Howling Commandos were. Had he gone down as a war hero, taken before his time? Or was he just a blur in a history book that no one cared about? He didn't know why it stuck with him so much, or why he thought about it... But he wondered if she clung onto the same hope he did. That if Captain America, if Steve, had come through all this, then he'd be out there looking for his friend. He just knew that if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn't rest until he found Steve.

"Спасибо." Natalia repeated quietly. She knew that she'd already thanked him, and he'd dismissed it, but she just wanted him to know that she appreciated what he had done for her, that his actions weren't for nothing at all. She hesitated for a moment before leaning up to press her lips lightly to his cheek. As soon as it happened, she was pulling away, not wanting to make too much out of her actions.

At first instinct, Bucky went to pull away from Natalia. It was only natural for him to be cautious of anyone getting too close to him. He only flinched for a moment before he realised that it was Natalia, not someone else leaning in towards him. It may have only happened recently, but he was growing to trust her more and more. He kept still, letting her kiss his cheek. A small smile came to his face as she pulled away, and he could only hope he didn't appear too flustered... That, and that no one had seen the interaction between the two of them.

Natalia honestly surprised herself with her own actions. She knew that a sign of affection like that, albeit a small one, was risking a lot. She hoped no one had seen it, not only because she didn't know if there would be any consequences for it, it was hard to tell with Hydra, but also because it was intimate and personal. Sure, it was only a kiss on the cheek, but it was intimate for her. It meant something to her.

It meant something for Bucky as well. It wasn't just a sign of intimacy, as incredible as that was in their current situation... It was a sign of some sort of friendship, and trust. Even if Bucky had walked into some sort of play on Hydra's behalf, they weren't the only ones benefitting from it. His actions came to mean that he was someone Natalia could trust. The fact he had done such a thing meant that he obviously cared for Natalia... Care couldn't come without trust. Not in this sort of environment at least.

Natalia hoped that this wasn't a one-way street so to speak. She honestly kind of hoped that it meant something for Bucky too, that she wasn't alone in feeling that the kiss on the cheek actually meant something. She knew that what she'd done was risky, that she should have thought before acting, but that's just it. She hadn't thought, she'd just acted on pure instinct. And instinct told her that what she'd done was right.