Alex Gaskarth | The Rockstar
The worst part of everything; was Alex could hardly remember the night that forever changed his and Emma’s life. Alex knew that Jack was throwing a party, a distraction for Alex so he wouldn’t have to sit alone in the now empty house; Lisa’s things packed and gone. He had a feeling she really wasn’t coming back this time- and he was torn between relief and depression. He had shown up late to Jack’s party; and already slightly intoxicated. The long legged rockstar had been having a rough week, he and Lisa had supposedly broken up again and his head was muddled by all their up’s and down’s. Tonight however the caramel eyed man just wanted to forget her. It had been with a swaggered confidence he didn’t feel that he’d sauntered up to Jack’s door the music already leaking out into the air. Letting himself in, pushing himself past the sweaty, swaying bodies Alex shot polite nods to those who greeted him; really only looking for Emma or Jack. He and Emma had been friends for years, and the petite blonde always knew what to say to make him feel better.
And well… Jack was Jack. He always knew what to say about relationships no matter how fucked up his was. Alex still didn’t fully understand that. The stench of booze, food, sweat, and cologne made the man wrinkle his nose- god couldn’t someone crack a window? Slightly staggered steps took him through the living room and kitchen, to the stairs where most people weren’t allowed. Since he hadn’t seen Emma downstairs, he figured she must be upstairs. She liked to party in short bursts; and it was kind of adorable. Once or twice he nearly tripped over his own feet a couple times while searching first the bathroom, and then the bedrooms. He didn’t find her until Alex looked in the last room up there, the bedroom she usually stayed in. And had he been in his right mind that would of been the first place he looked; but no use whining now. As he pushed the door open his eyes fell on a lone figure, a red solo cup curled in her hands while she gazed out the window. Her back was to him and Alex grinned, clearing his throat. ”Hey Emmy.”
A foolish grin was stretched onto his face as she turned around, a small graceful smile of her own touched upon her mouth. ”Look what the cat dragged in.” Winking, motioning to the room Alex asked rather innocently ”C’mon come down with me. Save me from all the weirdos.” It was a joke as they both knew, most of those people down there were friends. But booze loosened his tongue and Alex was pretty sure that everyone knew about him and Lisa’s most recent breakup. And as long as he was talking with Emma, he could ignore their stares. It would give people less of a reason to come up to him, to talk to him. Anyway he and Emma had eventually made their way downstairs, and after a few more drinks Alex was beginning to have a good time. Jack had come over once or twice, though had made some coy remark about letting the two of them alone. Alex just shrugged it off, and around them as people danced and the night wore on Alex eventually joined in.
He could recall holding Emma close to him as he swayed along with the beat, giggling when he’d stumble over his own feet. Finally as things were weaning down and Alex could hardly see straight and the loneliness of having to bed down alone began to set in; he’d rather impulsively kissed Emma. Maybe she’d liked him all along, or maybe she was just as drunk as he was, it didn’t matter because she pressed herself flush against him, and before his brain could process what was happening her tongue was in his mouth, exploring him and Alex faltered for a moment before taking control. There were plenty of bedrooms upstairs, and taking Emma by the hand with that stupid, lopsided grin that appeared too big for his face, stumbled towards an empty guest bedroom. Alex knew that he was neither graceful nor at his best, but with clumsy hands they’d undressed each other, Alex’s hands roaming her frail appearing body trying to commit the smooth unblemished skin to memory.
In the waning night he’d made love to her, and the next morning when he awoke, with Emma tangled in his arms and the hangover of a century; Alex panicked. He knew he didn’t bring condoms with him to the party; and he wasn’t sure whether or not she was on the pill. He’d lay there panicking for a while though came to the decision that she would of said if she wasn’t on some sort of birth control. Even if they were completely wasted… He hoped. Unsure of how this would affect the friendship he so cherished with her, Alex had quietly gotten dressed; Emma stirring once though stilling shortly after, and left. Did he feel like a shitbag about it? Yes. The point was, life had gone on. While Emma was a bit cool towards him afterwards they still hung out, and the group still had fun.
Then about a month and a half later he got the text. ”Alex you need to come over. Now.” He could almost hear the panic in her text and thinking something was wrong, did she hurt herself? Was an ex-boyfriend giving her grief? Had she been robbed? Alex had sped over there running a few lights and signs. By the time he pulled into her driveway, haphazardly parking and locking the door he jogged towards the steps, his feet smacking against the pavement. Wrenching the door open he was relieved to find that the house was all in order. ”Emma?!” Alex bellowed, shoulders sagging with relief as she called him upstairs. Obeying, he found her in the bathroom, door open and red-eyed. Had she been crying? What was wrong? Before he could ask his eyes fell onto not one but three pregnancy sticks. Fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no that could not be why she was so upset.
Had he knocked her up? He hadn’t pulled out, and just assumed she was on the pill. Alex’s stomach was tied into knots as his gaze remained on the sticks, Emma talking though sounding distant. He couldn’t have a kid. He was too young and anything he did reflected on All Time Low. Flyzik was going to have his ass on a silver platter. There was a buzzing in his head and for a moment Alex thought he might actually faint. Finally, he felt Emma’s small hand shaking him; her eyes narrowed. ”Did you hear anything I just said?” She asked, sounding just as panicked as him. Clearing his throat trying to at least put on the facade of calm Alex shook his head. ”Uh, sorry. But you’re pregnant? Shit Emma I mean… Are you even sure it’s mine?” Almost as soon as the words left his mouth he wished to pull them back and hurriedly he tacked on ”I mean I’m not saying you sleep around or anything but you’re a beautiful young woman and you know we think casual sex is ok.” Fuck. How many times had Alex slept with countless beautiful women on tour? How could this happen not only to him; but his best friend of the opposite sex?
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Athena Parun | The lovers
A lone figure stood quivering in the middle of the empty house; the sound of silence pressing down on her from all sides. About her lay shards of broken plates like rubble from war. It had been another fight, yet another screaming match with her boyfriend. Taking shaky breaths Athena decided it would be best to not wallow in her own self-pity, but instead clean up the bits of plate so she wouldn’t cut herself. Wouldn’t that just be the cherry on top this shitty cake that life had presented her with? As she carefully stepped around the glass, Athena couldn’t help but let her gaze flicker towards frames on the walls of their house, and god did those frames seem to mock her. How they held the couple’s better days, when things were easy. Before the fights and the miscarriage. Throat thickening she was tempted to smash those as well; but self-control prevented her from doing so. Her thoughts haunted the petite brunette as she snatched the broom from the closet in the hallway. It had been a fucking picture that had started this fight.
It had been sent to her via courtesy of her mother, she had never liked Jack, and it made Athena cold. She knew that this past year and a half they’d been struggling- he’d often been moody and never home. She wasn’t much better. While Athena only worked the occasional photo-shoot, she wouldn’t leave a dinner out for him like she used to, and far too often they slept in different beds. When he did deign to talk to her it felt forced. And don’t get her started on the sex. The last time he had truly made love to her was about two months ago; about the last time Jack had told her he loved her. But when she opened her mother’s text of Jack’s arm around another girl at some party his eyes gazing upon this blonde bitch the way he used to her, she was numb. Athena hadn’t been able to feel a damned thing; but once her mind processed it the hurt came tearing her apart suddenly and all at once. Athena had turned her damned phone off, cried into her pillow for the love that was surely lost between them. For what he promised would be, and what now was.
And then when she pulled herself together Athena had waited for him at home, sitting at the table with flushed cheeks and trembling lips. How long she sat there Athena wasn’t sure, but when the door finally creaked open the brunette could feel fire bathing her blood. He had sweeped in, and gave her a look mixed with trepidation and unease. ”You sitting there long?” That voice that used to make her shiver now left her empty and Athena clenched her teeth together forcing her voice to remain even. ”Who is she? The girl?” At this shock fled onto his face, momentarily chased off by a righteous look of annoyance and defense. For a moment the stagnant air in the house was roiling with tension. ”Are you kidding? Is your mother sending you pictures again?” Avoidance that made her sneer while anger crept into her veins and standing up she repeated in a softer voice ”Who was she Jack? If you’re sleepin arou-” At this he scoffed incredulously, his wild hazel eyes dancing with some imagined slight.
”Are you kidding?! You’re always doing this. You always accuse me of sleeping around and I don’t know how many fucking times I have to tell you- I’m not him! She hadn’t expected Jack to drag out her ex, and it shocked her into silence for a moment. Feeling her jaw slacken Athena ’s baby blues narrowed with reproach. ”Don’t. Don’t try to avoid the question. Are. You. Sleeping. With her?” She repeated, mockingly and patronizingly as if talking to a child. Flinching as he let out a snarl of frustration, Jack slammed his fist against the wall making her flinch. ”I’m not fucking her! Jesus Christ Athena !” Jack roared back, his cheeks tinted red with anger. She saw it coming, the way his eyes grew distant and apathetic but when he scoffed ”You know what? I don’t have to fucking deal with this.” And turned around, storming right out that door she was heartbroken. Athena was furious, and shattered and this relationship was taking it’s toll on the both of them; yet neither could let the other go no matter how toxic. It was on autopilot that Athena stalked to the cabinet pulling out a couple dishes and hurled them towards the door. ”Fine! Fucking go! I don’t need you anyway!” She screamed, though Athena knew he was long gone. That was the reason that she was now in the middle of the kitchen, sweeping up the mess she made with tears dripping down her cheeks.
In her frustration she had bent down to pick up a larger piece of plate, though in her carelessness the edges sliced deep into her palm. Crying out, dropping the bloodied shard she bit back a snarl of pain. Great. Just fucking great. Today was not her day. By the time she finally cleaned the plates, Athena was wiped. Exhausted, and lonely. Why did they keep doing this to each other? The days where they got along were so scarce and few; it felt like a daydream when they did happen. ”I can’t live like this.” She thought, the finality within her frightening. Athena wasn’t a woman who could live like a paper doll in a big house, alone. In a frenzied desperation to do this before she changed her mind, Athena all but ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time, turned down the long hallway until she got to their room. It was in pristine condition, thanks mostly to her, and getting onto her hands and knees pulled the suitcase they kept under their bed out.
In a blind rage she stormed to their closet snatching her clothes off of racks. She could go to Josh’s. Jack wouldn’t think to look for her there until she was long gone. She could go back California and never look back. Back home. Her quiet sobs filled the room as she threw her belongings into the suitcase. It wasn’t fair. She would of given anything to make this work with him- but it felt like he just didn’t give a damn about her anymore. She had heard that quiet boy with the smile of a deadman did that. He loved you while it was easy and made you feel like it was never going to end. And when he was done with you, he left you as broken as him. But Athena hadn’t believed it. Hadn’t wanted to believe it because nights were spent with his sweet whispers of love that rose shivers on her skin.
Nights that she wasn’t sure where she started and he ended- it was intoxicating. She’d lost track of time, though glancing at the clock she realized that two hours had gone by- and she was nearly done. She was packing the last of her underwear when she heard footsteps on the stairwell, and all too soon their door was flung open; Jack looking wild eyed and drunk. Fuck. As pathetic as it was she wanted him to stop her. To hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok. That they hadn’t ever truly addressed what they had lost. A baby. One they both wanted desperately. But he was home now and he wasn’t going to let her just storm out. Blues clashed on oceans of oaken browns, as stormy and unpredictable as a tornado. Holding her breath she said nothing, instead storming past him to grab the last of her underwear from the wardrobe near him. She was pulling away when she felt his grasp on her wrist, causing her to still and whip around to look at him. ”What?” Athena snapped, her voice flat and distant.
The worst part of everything; was Alex could hardly remember the night that forever changed his and Emma’s life. Alex knew that Jack was throwing a party, a distraction for Alex so he wouldn’t have to sit alone in the now empty house; Lisa’s things packed and gone. He had a feeling she really wasn’t coming back this time- and he was torn between relief and depression. He had shown up late to Jack’s party; and already slightly intoxicated. The long legged rockstar had been having a rough week, he and Lisa had supposedly broken up again and his head was muddled by all their up’s and down’s. Tonight however the caramel eyed man just wanted to forget her. It had been with a swaggered confidence he didn’t feel that he’d sauntered up to Jack’s door the music already leaking out into the air. Letting himself in, pushing himself past the sweaty, swaying bodies Alex shot polite nods to those who greeted him; really only looking for Emma or Jack. He and Emma had been friends for years, and the petite blonde always knew what to say to make him feel better.
And well… Jack was Jack. He always knew what to say about relationships no matter how fucked up his was. Alex still didn’t fully understand that. The stench of booze, food, sweat, and cologne made the man wrinkle his nose- god couldn’t someone crack a window? Slightly staggered steps took him through the living room and kitchen, to the stairs where most people weren’t allowed. Since he hadn’t seen Emma downstairs, he figured she must be upstairs. She liked to party in short bursts; and it was kind of adorable. Once or twice he nearly tripped over his own feet a couple times while searching first the bathroom, and then the bedrooms. He didn’t find her until Alex looked in the last room up there, the bedroom she usually stayed in. And had he been in his right mind that would of been the first place he looked; but no use whining now. As he pushed the door open his eyes fell on a lone figure, a red solo cup curled in her hands while she gazed out the window. Her back was to him and Alex grinned, clearing his throat. ”Hey Emmy.”
A foolish grin was stretched onto his face as she turned around, a small graceful smile of her own touched upon her mouth. ”Look what the cat dragged in.” Winking, motioning to the room Alex asked rather innocently ”C’mon come down with me. Save me from all the weirdos.” It was a joke as they both knew, most of those people down there were friends. But booze loosened his tongue and Alex was pretty sure that everyone knew about him and Lisa’s most recent breakup. And as long as he was talking with Emma, he could ignore their stares. It would give people less of a reason to come up to him, to talk to him. Anyway he and Emma had eventually made their way downstairs, and after a few more drinks Alex was beginning to have a good time. Jack had come over once or twice, though had made some coy remark about letting the two of them alone. Alex just shrugged it off, and around them as people danced and the night wore on Alex eventually joined in.
He could recall holding Emma close to him as he swayed along with the beat, giggling when he’d stumble over his own feet. Finally as things were weaning down and Alex could hardly see straight and the loneliness of having to bed down alone began to set in; he’d rather impulsively kissed Emma. Maybe she’d liked him all along, or maybe she was just as drunk as he was, it didn’t matter because she pressed herself flush against him, and before his brain could process what was happening her tongue was in his mouth, exploring him and Alex faltered for a moment before taking control. There were plenty of bedrooms upstairs, and taking Emma by the hand with that stupid, lopsided grin that appeared too big for his face, stumbled towards an empty guest bedroom. Alex knew that he was neither graceful nor at his best, but with clumsy hands they’d undressed each other, Alex’s hands roaming her frail appearing body trying to commit the smooth unblemished skin to memory.
In the waning night he’d made love to her, and the next morning when he awoke, with Emma tangled in his arms and the hangover of a century; Alex panicked. He knew he didn’t bring condoms with him to the party; and he wasn’t sure whether or not she was on the pill. He’d lay there panicking for a while though came to the decision that she would of said if she wasn’t on some sort of birth control. Even if they were completely wasted… He hoped. Unsure of how this would affect the friendship he so cherished with her, Alex had quietly gotten dressed; Emma stirring once though stilling shortly after, and left. Did he feel like a shitbag about it? Yes. The point was, life had gone on. While Emma was a bit cool towards him afterwards they still hung out, and the group still had fun.
Then about a month and a half later he got the text. ”Alex you need to come over. Now.” He could almost hear the panic in her text and thinking something was wrong, did she hurt herself? Was an ex-boyfriend giving her grief? Had she been robbed? Alex had sped over there running a few lights and signs. By the time he pulled into her driveway, haphazardly parking and locking the door he jogged towards the steps, his feet smacking against the pavement. Wrenching the door open he was relieved to find that the house was all in order. ”Emma?!” Alex bellowed, shoulders sagging with relief as she called him upstairs. Obeying, he found her in the bathroom, door open and red-eyed. Had she been crying? What was wrong? Before he could ask his eyes fell onto not one but three pregnancy sticks. Fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no that could not be why she was so upset.
Had he knocked her up? He hadn’t pulled out, and just assumed she was on the pill. Alex’s stomach was tied into knots as his gaze remained on the sticks, Emma talking though sounding distant. He couldn’t have a kid. He was too young and anything he did reflected on All Time Low. Flyzik was going to have his ass on a silver platter. There was a buzzing in his head and for a moment Alex thought he might actually faint. Finally, he felt Emma’s small hand shaking him; her eyes narrowed. ”Did you hear anything I just said?” She asked, sounding just as panicked as him. Clearing his throat trying to at least put on the facade of calm Alex shook his head. ”Uh, sorry. But you’re pregnant? Shit Emma I mean… Are you even sure it’s mine?” Almost as soon as the words left his mouth he wished to pull them back and hurriedly he tacked on ”I mean I’m not saying you sleep around or anything but you’re a beautiful young woman and you know we think casual sex is ok.” Fuck. How many times had Alex slept with countless beautiful women on tour? How could this happen not only to him; but his best friend of the opposite sex?
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Athena Parun | The lovers
A lone figure stood quivering in the middle of the empty house; the sound of silence pressing down on her from all sides. About her lay shards of broken plates like rubble from war. It had been another fight, yet another screaming match with her boyfriend. Taking shaky breaths Athena decided it would be best to not wallow in her own self-pity, but instead clean up the bits of plate so she wouldn’t cut herself. Wouldn’t that just be the cherry on top this shitty cake that life had presented her with? As she carefully stepped around the glass, Athena couldn’t help but let her gaze flicker towards frames on the walls of their house, and god did those frames seem to mock her. How they held the couple’s better days, when things were easy. Before the fights and the miscarriage. Throat thickening she was tempted to smash those as well; but self-control prevented her from doing so. Her thoughts haunted the petite brunette as she snatched the broom from the closet in the hallway. It had been a fucking picture that had started this fight.
It had been sent to her via courtesy of her mother, she had never liked Jack, and it made Athena cold. She knew that this past year and a half they’d been struggling- he’d often been moody and never home. She wasn’t much better. While Athena only worked the occasional photo-shoot, she wouldn’t leave a dinner out for him like she used to, and far too often they slept in different beds. When he did deign to talk to her it felt forced. And don’t get her started on the sex. The last time he had truly made love to her was about two months ago; about the last time Jack had told her he loved her. But when she opened her mother’s text of Jack’s arm around another girl at some party his eyes gazing upon this blonde bitch the way he used to her, she was numb. Athena hadn’t been able to feel a damned thing; but once her mind processed it the hurt came tearing her apart suddenly and all at once. Athena had turned her damned phone off, cried into her pillow for the love that was surely lost between them. For what he promised would be, and what now was.
And then when she pulled herself together Athena had waited for him at home, sitting at the table with flushed cheeks and trembling lips. How long she sat there Athena wasn’t sure, but when the door finally creaked open the brunette could feel fire bathing her blood. He had sweeped in, and gave her a look mixed with trepidation and unease. ”You sitting there long?” That voice that used to make her shiver now left her empty and Athena clenched her teeth together forcing her voice to remain even. ”Who is she? The girl?” At this shock fled onto his face, momentarily chased off by a righteous look of annoyance and defense. For a moment the stagnant air in the house was roiling with tension. ”Are you kidding? Is your mother sending you pictures again?” Avoidance that made her sneer while anger crept into her veins and standing up she repeated in a softer voice ”Who was she Jack? If you’re sleepin arou-” At this he scoffed incredulously, his wild hazel eyes dancing with some imagined slight.
”Are you kidding?! You’re always doing this. You always accuse me of sleeping around and I don’t know how many fucking times I have to tell you- I’m not him! She hadn’t expected Jack to drag out her ex, and it shocked her into silence for a moment. Feeling her jaw slacken Athena ’s baby blues narrowed with reproach. ”Don’t. Don’t try to avoid the question. Are. You. Sleeping. With her?” She repeated, mockingly and patronizingly as if talking to a child. Flinching as he let out a snarl of frustration, Jack slammed his fist against the wall making her flinch. ”I’m not fucking her! Jesus Christ Athena !” Jack roared back, his cheeks tinted red with anger. She saw it coming, the way his eyes grew distant and apathetic but when he scoffed ”You know what? I don’t have to fucking deal with this.” And turned around, storming right out that door she was heartbroken. Athena was furious, and shattered and this relationship was taking it’s toll on the both of them; yet neither could let the other go no matter how toxic. It was on autopilot that Athena stalked to the cabinet pulling out a couple dishes and hurled them towards the door. ”Fine! Fucking go! I don’t need you anyway!” She screamed, though Athena knew he was long gone. That was the reason that she was now in the middle of the kitchen, sweeping up the mess she made with tears dripping down her cheeks.
In her frustration she had bent down to pick up a larger piece of plate, though in her carelessness the edges sliced deep into her palm. Crying out, dropping the bloodied shard she bit back a snarl of pain. Great. Just fucking great. Today was not her day. By the time she finally cleaned the plates, Athena was wiped. Exhausted, and lonely. Why did they keep doing this to each other? The days where they got along were so scarce and few; it felt like a daydream when they did happen. ”I can’t live like this.” She thought, the finality within her frightening. Athena wasn’t a woman who could live like a paper doll in a big house, alone. In a frenzied desperation to do this before she changed her mind, Athena all but ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time, turned down the long hallway until she got to their room. It was in pristine condition, thanks mostly to her, and getting onto her hands and knees pulled the suitcase they kept under their bed out.
In a blind rage she stormed to their closet snatching her clothes off of racks. She could go to Josh’s. Jack wouldn’t think to look for her there until she was long gone. She could go back California and never look back. Back home. Her quiet sobs filled the room as she threw her belongings into the suitcase. It wasn’t fair. She would of given anything to make this work with him- but it felt like he just didn’t give a damn about her anymore. She had heard that quiet boy with the smile of a deadman did that. He loved you while it was easy and made you feel like it was never going to end. And when he was done with you, he left you as broken as him. But Athena hadn’t believed it. Hadn’t wanted to believe it because nights were spent with his sweet whispers of love that rose shivers on her skin.
Nights that she wasn’t sure where she started and he ended- it was intoxicating. She’d lost track of time, though glancing at the clock she realized that two hours had gone by- and she was nearly done. She was packing the last of her underwear when she heard footsteps on the stairwell, and all too soon their door was flung open; Jack looking wild eyed and drunk. Fuck. As pathetic as it was she wanted him to stop her. To hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok. That they hadn’t ever truly addressed what they had lost. A baby. One they both wanted desperately. But he was home now and he wasn’t going to let her just storm out. Blues clashed on oceans of oaken browns, as stormy and unpredictable as a tornado. Holding her breath she said nothing, instead storming past him to grab the last of her underwear from the wardrobe near him. She was pulling away when she felt his grasp on her wrist, causing her to still and whip around to look at him. ”What?” Athena snapped, her voice flat and distant.
August 5th, 2015 at 04:52pm
