closer to me.

@ zayn.

Forest
There was no telling what time it was really, the wall clock had run out of batteries weeks ago. But the sun was up so that meant it was time for them to be up too. Especially today since they'd just run out of food last night and it might take all day, or a couple, before they could get themselves any more. Forest was used to being hungry by now, but it never got any easier. And he and Jason had been able to eat at least a little bit daily for nearly a week now, which wasn't going to help any if they did end up going without for a little while. He stayed in his comfy position on the mattress for a few minutes, wanting to be able to just fall back asleep again for maybe a couple more hours or so. But that wasn't as easy as it used to be, and in fact Forest was sure it was more likely impossible. So after laying there for what felt like long enough, he finally sat up and crawled over top of Jason to lay back down on him instead. "Wake up sleepyhead." he greeted quietly and croaky sounding.

Marshall
It was his turn to help keep watch. Marshall and a couple of the others had been at it for what had to be a few hours now, keeping an eye out for anything or anyone who came too close. So far nothing had, and he was getting to where he was a little bit more salty about having to be out here. It wasn't so bad at first, but he was bored and kind of tired and all he wanted was to finally be able to go back with Alex instead. Really the only thing he was okay with at the moment was that he didn't have to do this everyday. Marshall missed how it was before they'd come here. Sure it was a bit harder, but they'd managed. They were usually able to find decent places to stay and people to trade food and whatnot with. This place had seemed to great at first though, they'd had no reason to really anticipate anything like this happening. He wasn't going to believe that they were trapped here forever though. They could, and would, get out again somehow he was sure of it. But until that could happen they were stuck doing things like this.

Jason
Jason found himself awaken by something crawling over top of him, letting out a grunt as there was sudden force upon him. "You're going to crush me," he joked as he opened his eyes slowly. It was always mornings where he felt the most normal, like there wasn't the world as they knew it destroyed around them. He grabbed the other's hips, flipped their positions over with that little strength he had. He refused to realise just how weak he had gotten, always happy to carry and playfully manhandle Forest. He pressed the other against the bed, kissing up the man's neck and continued until their lips met. His hips were pressed snugly together as he let his hands trail up and down the other's sides as he grinned happily. "I'm glad you're awake," he said, his own voice slightly croaky as he looked down at the other. It wasn't suppose to mean something, but the more he thought back to it, the words did mean a lot. There was plenty of worry and concern that one day he would wake up and suddenly Forest just wouldn't wake up, would be dead and gone due to natural causes, due to not eating. It mortified him, the idea of his only friend left and companion would just disappear right beneath his nose.

---

Alex
Alex knew from the start that he was doing this all wrong. He even checked the other's around him that were also clipping and pruning the small fruit trees they had set up in a make shift green house in the middle of the small community they had set up. It wasn't anything necessarily special, a few buildings barricaded off from the rest of the world with wood planks, cars and whatever other debris they could find that held no use to them. It was automatically assumed that Alex had no use doing anything such as hunting or even monitoring the barrier like Marshall would typically do. Due to his stubborn ideas of never asking for help or assistance - especially when they probably wouldn't have helped him anyways, everyone had to save their own skin - which was why he knew that his plant was cut far too short. He didn't know what that would mean - he typically was responsible to care for the children and never got in trouble for it - and he found himself being faced by pitied stares of the people who had been there longer than him. It was obviously his luck when he heard the leader, who went by Raphael, came into the green house to inspect everything that was going on within the small glass house. He could still feel pitied glances and soft whispers, sounding almost like apologies, when Raphael came to his station. He could hardly look Raphael in the eyes when there were words seething at him about how idiotic and worthless he was. He could feel the searing pain as the man raised his gun and hit him in the side of the head with it. He couldn't think straight as he laid on the ground where suddenly people surrounding him, finding himself gasping for air as he practically felt numb head to toe. He didn't know what was really happening, especially when he started feeling lightheaded. His eyes found themselves closing as the word was spinning, but all he felt was nothing.

Forest
"I probably weigh like five pounds, come on." Forest retorted playfully, not making even a slight attempt to get off. Though five pounds was a bit exaggerated sure, he knew that he couldn't be that heavy these days. But before Forest had a chance to add anything or start thinking about their food situation again, Jason was suddenly the one on top. He closed his eyes and let out a happy sigh as the other kissed his neck, moving his hands up to rest on either arm as he wanted to be touching him too. Forest offered another small appreciative noise when he'd gotten up to his lips, kissing back for as long as he was able to before Jason stopped. The man opened his eyes back up then so he could look up at the other, at first wanting to ask for more kisses but ending up just smiling back instead. "Me too." he agreed. That was all he could look forward to these days honestly, seeing Jason awake and okay every day. "Did you sleep alright?" Forest asked after a period of comfortable silence. He should have asked if the other was ready to get started or something like that instead probably, but he loved this way, way, too much to give it up so soon. Just he and Jason in bed all sleepy and happy and just...nice.

Marshall
Marshall was confused to say the least when Danny, who was one of the maybe two or so people that seemed like his actual friends here, approached him. Surely it wasn't time to switch off already? It turned out that it wasn't but the other man told him what happened to Alex, or what he'd heard anyhow since he wasn't there until after. Marshall didn't know how to react at first, but when the man told him again he was immediately pissed off. More than pissed actually, he was ready to beat the shit out of Raphael and he very well may have tried had he been close. It might end up not going well for him if he were to but he didn't care, no one was fucking allowed to hit Alex. Not even their leader, okay, especially not their leader. And definitely not hard enough to knock him out goddamnit, what if he'd done that and then the man went to sleep and didn't wake up? What was he supposed to do then? Danny offered to take over his post even though they'd probably both end up in trouble next, he decided he could take it though. At first the man tried to decline no matter how much he wanted to go take care of Alex, but Danny hardly let him. It was weird to have him wanting to do something like that for him, since no one did that these days and he knew a lot of people wouldn't have before either. Marshall ended up letting him with the promise of hopefully returning the favor somehow someday, and with that was off to the garden.

He made his way through everyone to get to Alex who was obviously still there's once they were still crowded together. One of the women who acted as a sort of nurse when it was necessary was beside him, and seemed a little reluctant to let Marshall take him but since he obviously wasn't about to let her tell him no she didn't fight him on it too much and told him more or less what he needed to do. He carefully picked the man up and took him into where they slept and laid him down again on something that was at least a bit softer than the ground he'd been on before. There wasn't too much more he could do for him after that, because he needed ice or something equally as cold to put to where he had been hit but ice wasn't something that existed really anymore. So instead he just sat with him, talking softly and running a worried and just slightly shaky hand as gently as possible through his hair, hoping that he'd wake back up.

Jason
Jason smiled adoringly at Forest, studying every feature on his face that he knew he could recite simply by memory. He wasn't sure in the beginning, when all this started, since he truly did fear commitment and the idea of loss broke him down further than he was willing to admit. When everything went to shit, he thought about just skipping out of town and driving until he couldn't see any of what was happening around him. That didn't happen, instead, he decided that Forest needed protecting over all else. They were in this situation together and as much as Jason was fearful of where this would take him, he knew that there was no way that he could actually leave before everything went too far down out of his reach. "I slept okay," he said, pressing his lips against the other's forehead as he brought him closer. It was easier to lie, he found himself figuring long ago. It was better to act like he didn't stay up at night huddling closer and closer to Forest, acting like his protective blanket or listen to try to ignore the scuffling of feet as they limped past their bedroom window. He was sure that the next logical step would be for him to sleep with a gun in his hands, but he couldn't do that to the man in his arms. He refused to scare him, to make him feel uncomfortable. He moved to stick his nose into the other's nose, taking a deep breath as if to try to keep the other in his mind. "How about you?" He muttered, obviously muffled by his face practically being pressed against the man's head.

Alex
Alex didn't know how long he had been knocked out. The only thing he could tell was that it was dark wherever he was and his mouth felt dry and slightly tasting like blood. He groaned, his head already pounding as he gingerly opened his eyes. Everything hurt, to his eyes and his nose to the center of his forehead. He couldn't help the small whimper of pain as he sat up, all the blood rushing out of his head with how fast he ended up sitting. He blinked softly, his thoughts confirmed as he saw outside his window that there was only darkness and a few makeshift lights that the community used. He wondered how he ended up here, his heart sinking as he thought for a minute about where Marshall could be. It felt like all the colour drained from his face, frantically looking around the room to find he wasn't there. He didn't know why he exactly expected the man to be next to him when he woke up - especially when there was still late night jobs to do - but he still wished that he could have someone to hold him. He went to lean against the wall that was behind the mattress. It was a dirty, ratty mattress, but it was the best that they had. Only the most elite members of the community were allowed quality things, which was why he knew that there wasn't anything he could do especially since he had just managed to get his ass handed to him by Raphael. He carefully touched his head, wincing as he tried to touch even around his eyes and nose, which were all painful to the touch. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning as he tried not to think about how this probably ruined his face.

Forest
Forest quietly hummed in somewhat approval upon hearing Jason's answer. Even if he actually didn't sleep okay and was just trying to make him feel better he didn't mind, he really appreciated it actually. "That's good, I'm glad." he answered with a small smile. The man let out a hint of a laugh as Jason pressed their noses together before he added, "I slept fine too." It was the truth, mostly. He woke up once or twice maybe, but only long enough to see that they were fine before he'd fall back asleep. In the beginning he could hardly sleep at all, but the longer they went on the more he wanted and appreciated and needed sleep so he leaned. And having Jason with him definitely helped, he felt much safer having him there with him and he couldn't imagine what it would be like if he didn't. Maybe he'd only every get a couple hours or so, or maybe he'd never sleep at all. But he didn't need to worry about that now, and pushed those thoughts away as quickly as he could so he could return all of his attention to the other man instead. Forest moved his arms finally to wrap around the other and gave him another kiss before he moved so he could bury his face into his neck instead. "I'm really hungry now though." the man very near whispered still not wanting to mention it but knowing that he needed to. They needed to get up and get going sometime after all, and he knew that it wasn't going to be too very much longer before he was already starving. And besides, they'd get to cuddle up together again when they got to go back to bed tonight.

Marshall
Marshall would have stayed all day with Alex, he wanted to, but if it was found out that he did nothing all day that wouldn't be good. Especially on top of him actually stopping what he was supposed to already be doing. He did stay for a while though, an hour or so at least until he decided that he couldn't anymore and needed to return to his lookout post. Alex would still (hopefully) be there when he got back after all, and he didn't have all too long before he got to trade off and could come back. Marshall said a quiet goodbye and left him with a quick kiss before he headed back to the edge of the barrier, thanking Danny profusely. The other man assured him that he didn't think anyone noticed their switch really, although also let him know that he could be mistaken, but Marshall would take what he could get and that still seemed like good news to him. He promised once more that he'd return the favor before the other man left to go do whatever it was he'd been doing before and he could do the same. The entire rest of the time he worked it was all but impossible to keep his thoughts off of Alex, wondering if he was awake yet and if so if he was doing alright. He sure hoped so, if that was the case. Needless to say the hours dragged on before someone finally came to relieve him and he wanted to very near run back to see his boyfriend. It was a very pleasant surprise that Alex was awake when he got there, and he immediately smiled when he saw and gave a slightly gentle statement of, "You're awake." as he joined him on the bed, sitting so he was kind of beside but facing him. "I was so worried about you Alex." Marshall continued through a sigh, putting a hand on the others leg. "How are you feeling?" he asked then after a few seconds.

Jason
"Alright, let's go and get some food in you, then," Jason said against the other's cheek. He thought back to before all this happened, how he could have easily picked up Forest and carried him into their dining room, but that wasn't feasible anymore. With the slowly dwindling food and focusing on the other's intake of food, he completely disregarded his own food and diet. He knew that he lost most, if not all, his muscles and it was replaced with smaller arms and his chest turning more into skin and bone. It wasn't something that he particularly stayed hooked on, knowing that he would be more distraught and uncertain about it if that was the case. When he got Forest to sit down at the table, he quickly looked through the cans for something edible. "Chicken noddle soup okay? We also have instant ramen if you'd rather," he said, looking over at the other expectantly. He enjoyed creating the foods, always liking to cook and bake, but he didn't really get to do that at all after the end of the world happened. He knew that this was entirely too scary to think of it, but the food supply seemed to be dwindling far too low for his own liking. He shifted his feet as he ran a hand through his hair.

Alex
Alex ended up practically believing that something had happened to Marshall. It was irrational and idiotic for him to believe something so obviously false - especially with how useful the man actually was in the grand scheme of things. When it turned out that Marshall was around, was there to smile and touch him, he nearly broke down for the first time in a while. He felt his eyes sting with tears as he tried hard to not let them spill over. He put his hand over top of Marshall's own hand. "He hit me," he said, knowing he probably sounded more childlike and small than he wanted to. It was still all a big shock, something that scared him more than anything. If their leader was willing to hit him, who else would? There was so many questions that he had about everything that had been going on in the community, but always kept them to himself. He poked his aching nose and laughed sadly. "I really hope he didn't make me look too awful bad, yeah? Imagine me being ugly," he said as he shook his head. It was something that scared him, not looking appealing at least to some level, he wanted to make people pay attention to him and it was usually his looks they were attracted to. He knew that this wasn't the situation or even the right few months to think in a semi self-deprecating way.

Forest
Forest got up after Jason did, following him to the kitchen stretching and yawning a couple times along the way. It always felt sort of weird to him having an actual house to stay in and a couple furnishings still in place, almost like it was a different reality inside. One that seemed untouched by what was going on all around them. It was a nice thing to have of course in fact it was probably as close to perfect as they could get these days, but it was still a little strange. He sat down at the table when he reached it and watched Jason look though the cupboard, waiting to see what he might pull out. "Chicken noodle sounds amazing." Forest answered with a smile. Honestly he'd have eaten just about anything, but that in particular sounded perfect, even for breakfast. Though he really, really, missed getting to go out for pancakes admittedly he'd take what he could get. "Maybe when we find some more things we can trade we could go to a market or something and see if we can't get some fruits or vegetables." he suggested after a little bit, more thinking out loud to himself actually but also wanting to hear what the other might think about his idea.

Marshall
Marshall took Alex's hand in his own after he spoke and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I heard." he answered following a small sigh. He felt terrible that the other was scared, that that happened at all. But he refrained from going on about how if he would have been there he wouldn't have let it happen or whatever else he would like to say to try and make him feel better somehow that actually might not be true. Because honestly he didn't know if he could have or would be able to protect him if anything like that were to happen again, and to him the thought was just as scary as Alex being hit at all. Marshall smiled back mostly forced but also a little bit genuinely, "You look alright, I promise." he assured. There was a bump and some now dry blood and a bruise that was probably going to get quite a bit worse before it got better, but Marshall couldn't see any permanent damage other than a little scar maybe. "And I can't imagine you ugly, I'll always think you're beautiful. Even if you were missing an arm or half of your face or something. And this isn't going to be half that bad." Marshall added, hoping to make him feel just that much better.

Jason
Jason nodded, opening the soup with the overly rusty can opener. It was idiotic, only working at a certain angle and taking multiple tries to even get it to start working. He refused to answer Forest's ideas for a long time, only the noises outside the boarded up windows was a relative answer to the man as he continued to try to open the can. "No," he said as he looked over at the other for a second. It was ridiculous to even suggest that they go outside of the place they were at. No one knew that they were inside this shitty apartment complex and they had canned food to last them quite a while. This meant safety and protection from the evil outside. "I know you miss it, but absolutely not. No one knows we are here, talking too loud is going to give our position away. We can't leave," he said as he shook his head, finally getting the stupid can opened. He grabbed a moderately clean plastic fork, passing the can and its contents over to the man. He sat down next to him, knowing that there would only be two cans that they'd eat a day. He knew that they could use more, but at the end of the day, the rationing of the food was helping their supply stay larger instead of quickly deplete.

Alex
Alex laughed as he shook his head. He was always one to care too much about his appearance, especially when he knew that it meant close to nothing after everything ended. It was still the most important thing to him, how he looked and making sure that his smile could melt the heart of anyone. "I am so vain, I am only worried about my face, what if I had a concussion and just falling asleep made me fall into a coma or whatever? What if my brain is bleeding? I am ridiculous," he said as he tried to not let himself cry at the thoughts that were plaguing his mind. He moved to squeezed the other's hand, already feeling himself drowning in some sort of self pity party. It was no reason that he should have felt sorry for himself, since he knew that he was alive and going to be just fine, but he knew that falling into this pit of depression was only going to make him more useless in the eyes of the community. The useless didn't make it out alive, so he had heard, which made it feel even more like he was genuinely already dead. "What if they see me as useless now?" He asked, whispering it as if it was a secret that no one outside of the two of them could possibly know about his situation. He was sure that there wasn't a problem with him, but he refused to believe that he was in the clear, probably already under the spotlight in Raphael's eyes.

Forest
"No?" Forest repeated, disappointed and a little surprised and almost ready to try and try to convince him to anyway before Jason went on. He didn't like that answer at all, and it definitely wasn't what he'd been hoping for or even totally expecting. Well, he had been sort of but actually hearing it from the other man was completely different. But he supposed that the man actually did have a pretty solid argument. They were probably about the safest here now that they or anyone else really could hope to be, and that was the most important thing. Forest would much rather stay relatively comfortable and go without fresh food than have to move to somewhere else or chance either of them being killed. Although it would be really nice to get out also. "It's okay, it was just an idea." he said as Jason came over to the table. Forest took the can from the man and gave a quick thanks in appreciation before he started eating it, trying to balance noodles and bits of chicken on the fork rather than stabbing them with it. After he'd eaten about half the can he handed it back for Jason to finish off since he definitely needed it too. Even a little food helped quite a bit, which was even more true now since they were pretty used to small amounts.

Marshall
The more Alex got upset the more Marshall started to feel himself do the same. It was more worry on his part honestly, and the want to keep him feeling as okay and safe as he possibly could. Especially now since so much had already happened today. "Hey, it's okay. Better being worried about how you look than asking about where or who you are." the man said as he moved so he was up at the the head of the bed with the other, nudging him over just a bit so there was room for both of them and he wasn't almost off the edge. Marshall put his arms around Alex the best he could after he was situated and fairly comfortable hugging him into his side, "They can fuck right off if they think that," the man stated none too happily, definitely a change from the nice tone he'd been using thus far. "They know that you can do other things, right? So they should just let you do them and leave you alone." he added. He wished he could Raphael that too honestly but he'd probably end up getting beat worse than Alex had, or maybe even just shot immediately he couldn't know which one. But since neither seemed like a very good option in the first place, he'd settle for just telling Alex.

Jason
It wasn't hard to realise how his words only brought sadness to Forest. He was the common sense, he felt, knowing that they had limitations to how they were allowed to live because of the outbreak. Jason didn't even pretend to comfort the other, already knowing that if he had fucked up it was too late to go back on it and act like they could do something impossible. There were zombies and even fellow man who were out for blood. Now that everything had ended before their eyes, it was evident that it was more of a sport to see how many zombies they can kill, as well as humans. The epidemic brought out the worst in everyone and put everyone on edge. "Safety is the first thing we care about, Forest, we can't be together if we die," he said, not sounding scolding but emotionless. He was silent while the other ate, refusing to even think about how little he had managed to eat over the last while, thinking instead of how good it would be to see the other eat. He took a few bites when he was offered the can, looking to see a little under a quarter left before he handed it back to Forest with a smile.

Alex
Alex melted into Marshall's side, letting out a choked sob as he carefully buried his face into the other's neck. "I don't want to die," he said, feeling himself breaking before he could even register how bad it had gotten. He knew that this entire community was strict and set up as a way of protecting the whole instead of each individual. It was decided who was in and who was killed. No one ever was simply told to leave. "I take care of the kids," he stated, not knowing what he even meant by saying that. He hoped that whatever was going to happen, he was going to at least be able to see Marshall before it happened. He moved his head out from the other's neck as he let his lips press against the side of his mouth, trying to avoid getting his face wet with tears. He moved his hand to grab the other's once again, holding it tightly as he let out a few deep breathes.