ghosts; closed.

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

It feels like lately I've been living with a stranger...
Where all my words are lost and gone into the vapors.
I try to reach you but your love is like a desert;
waiting for your touch feels like I'm living without water.

I just wanna know if you aren't for me
then why do I breathe so slow?

September 28th, 2015 at 02:14am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ max bemis.

Dr. Zack Baker was sitting at his desk, scribbling a few final notes about his last client, reminding himself about where to pick up when they sat down for their next session. He pushed his dark rimmed glasses further up on his nose, and read over the page to make sure it was coherent, putting his pen down. Satisfied, he leaned back in his chair, surveying his office. It was modest, but comfortable. Along one wall sat a soft blue sofa, and two cushioned chairs faced it. His desk was on the far side of the room, but he didn't usually sit there during sessions. Zack felt like it would give an imposing impression, which wasn't what he wanted to do when he was trying to get people to open up about their feelings. He did display his doctoral diploma on the wall, as well as his license to practice therapy, though he didn't take the same pride in pieces of paper that many psychologists did. To him, it was all about progress and improvements, in his patients, but also in himself.

After taking a moment to stretch and clear his mind, Zack stood and walked out of his office, signalling to his receptionist that he was ready for his next patient. It was his last session of the day and he was getting a little tired, but he knew he'd be meeting with a new client this time so he tried to remain calm and alert. "Joy, would you bring me the appropriate files, please?" Zack preferred to look over the paperwork while he conducted the first interview with new potential patients, to help put a name to the face of someone he'd never met. Walking back into the office, he left the door open and straightened his button down shirt. A moment later, Joy entered and handed over a labeled manila folder with a smile. "I'll send Mr. Haner in." Zack smiled back, leaning against his desk as he read the name Haner, Brian, Jr across the top of the file. "Thank you."

September 28th, 2015 at 05:52am

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal

"This is fucking bullshit, Michelle." Brian Haner was livid, beyond fucking pissed. His wife merely scoffed at her husband's anger, "You have known about this for months." She frowned, not taking her eyes off of the road. "I told you three months ago that I called a therapist, because you are out of control. I am tired of the disrespect that you sub-…" Brian zoned out, keeping his brown eyes focused on the outside. He was so used to his wife's rant that it was ingrained inside of his mind – always repeating, always grating on his nerves. She wondered why her husband preferred late night trips to the bar and strippers over her presence, it was because she was half of his fucking problem. She didn't take the time to listen, she only bitched about everything she had lost in the past few months. "I just worry about you, baby." She sighed, giving her husband's thigh a gentle squeeze. "I know losing Jim was hard, but he wouldn't want this. You don't see your drinking as a problem, but baby you lost your job. Your friends avoid you and you're always so angry..." She gave a shake of her head as she parked the car in front of the large building. "I just miss my husband." Her sob story did not numb the fire that blazed in Brian's heart because he knew that it was bullshit – everything she said was bullshit.

"Get the fuck over yourself, Michelle." He scoffed at the blonde as he exited the car, slamming the door behind him. When did his life become such an awful cliché? He didn't even remember agreeing to meeting up with some shrink that's what got under his skin; the fact that Michelle thought she could control his life. As he signed his name is messy scrawl he briefly considered leaving the cramped office. He wasn't crazy, he wasn't depressed, he simply enjoyed drinking. What man didn't? He slumped into one of the uncomfortable chairs and waited, his foot tapping impatiently. What was he even going to talk about with the shrink? With his luck it would be a shriveled up old man who would pass judgment on to him – or worse it would be a stuck up bitch, much like his lovely Michelle, he squirmed at the thought. He didn't have too long to fret before his name was called in a soft voice – great. Could he run now?

"Thanks," He murmured half-heartedly as the receptionist guided him to the main office. She smiled sweetly at him before turning on her heel and retreating back towards the waiting area. He let out a soft huff of air and turned the doorknob, his heart thudding in his chest. He was out of his element and that was not a feeling he enjoyed. Once in the small office he gave a brief look around – taking everything in. It wasn't entirely what he originally imagined. If he wasn't here against his will he might of thought it was cozy, but he refused to admit that. His dark gaze fell on the man behind the desk and he couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow – once more surprised. Awkwardly he stood in the center of the office with his arms across his chest, wishing for a cold one or a cancer stick, "Dr. Baker?" He greeted unsurely, his eyes leaving the male to glance over the degree that was hung so smugly on the wall.

[ i hope this is okay ~ ]

September 28th, 2015 at 07:49am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ max bemis. (That was great. =D)

When Brian Haner walked into his office, Zack immediately noticed several things about him. The most obvious fact was that he was angry, or at least very displeased. Not a willing participant then, he thought to himself. The second thing Zack noticed was his appearance. He was average height, close to Zack's age, and he was a very good looking man. Not important, he chastised himself. He noticed that the guy also seemed very tired, ragged even, though it was impossible to guess why at a glance. "Dr. Baker?" Brian sounded a bit irritated, but also uncertain. Zack nodded and smiled. "Call me Zack, please. You must be Brian. Have a seat, wherever you like."

Zack knew from experience that when someone was resistant to the idea of going through therapy, it could be challenging to achieve results, so his first priority would be to make Brian feel comfortable, gaining his trust. "Before we start, I'd like for you to look at this form and sign it." He produced a single sheet of paper from the manila folder, walking around to where Brian was getting settled on the sofa. Handing it over with a pen, he explained. "It's our confidentiality agreement. It just says that I can't share anything you say in this room with anyone, unless someone is being abused in some way." Brian scoffed lightly. "Nothing like that, Christ." Smiling, Zack looked into his dark brown eyes. "Of course, of course. I'm not implying anything. I just have to explain the rules. Once we've both signed that, we can start."

September 28th, 2015 at 09:40am

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal

Brian was out of his element as his form remained in the center of the office – that now seemed cramp, the walls beginning to close in on him. He definitely should have ran when he had the chance, he bitterly thought as he took a seat on the sofa – the sofa that he absolutely refused to allow himself to sink into. He did not place trust in the doctor who was now sitting across from him. A therapist, or whatever Dr. Baker called himself, was basically a liar. They played nice to get inside of your unwilling head and then used their knowledge against you when you least expected it. Brian was fine, he knew he was fine. He was only here to shut Michelle up, but he knew his attempts were futile; she would only find something new to bitch about.

As he leaned forward to take the outstretched form he allowed himself to curiously drink in the other's appearance and what he saw made him shift with unease. Dr. Baker seemed to be somewhere around his age, a few inches shorter than himself, average build, but that wasn't what the brunette uncomfortable. The fact that he almost found himself lost in the doctor's eyes is what left him with tensed shoulders, "Nothing like that. Christ." He scoffed with a roll of his eyes before focusing on the paper in his hand. Sure there had been a few times where Brian wanted to give his wife a smack or two, but when things got too bad he left. He may have been lost in the darkness of his mind, but he wasn't too far gone to neglect wrong from right. After signing his name in the same messy scrawl he used in the waiting room he handed the thin paper back to Zack, making sure to avoid those fucking eyes as he did so. "So now what?" He questioned, tapping his foot in a beat of impatience. He should be with one of the guys at the bar – making some chick drool – not admiring his fucking shrink. He pursed his lips, "My wife is nuts." His words were a huff of disdain as his eyes fell to the coffee table; still avoiding the green ones across from him. "She's just wasting your time and my fucking money, man." Well, he thought, it was all technically Michelle's money now that he was jobless but Zack did not need to know the technicalities in his life.

[ oh, yay! i'm glad you thought so. c: ]

September 29th, 2015 at 12:35am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ max bemis.

For someone who was obviously reluctant about therapy, Brian was already revealing more about himself and his problems than he realized. Zack listened to his grumbling, signing his own hurried signature on the form before putting it back into the file folder, but in his head he was making a mental note that both Brian's marriage and his finances were causing him stress. Taking advantage of that information, Zack gave him a gentle smile. "So, you think what I do is a waste, hmm? I'm guessing you're here at your wife's urging then." He watched as Brian shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. It was usually harder with male patients, especially adults, because they were so used to keeping everything to themselves, so he wasn't surprised that Brian didn't want to be there. Hopefully, however, he would start to open up over their next few meetings, if everything went well today. "Well, the fact that you agreed says a lot, so we'll discuss your attitude later. Right now, I'd like for you to tell me, as best you can, what convinced you to come. Is there something you think you need to work on or change? You didn't fill out my little questionnaire..."

Zack had plenty of practice keeping a pleasant, nonjudgmental face while people talked to him, a trait his friends found infuriating at times, but right at that moment, he was grateful for it because he was fighting the urge to really smile, because Brian Haner was very annoyed, but also very cute. It's unprofessional, Zack, keep it together. If he couldn't keep his thoughts on doing his job, he'd have to refer Brian to another psychologist, which would only hamper his progress further. He's married anyway. Steeling himself against any more internal distractions, he tried to coax Brian into talking. "Or, if you think you're in the wrong place, you can at least tell me why your wife wanted you to try it." He would play along with Brian for a while, if it helped him to pretend that it was his spouse who needed help. Whatever the truth of the matter was, Zack was confident that he would discover it eventually, assuming that Brian would cooperate.

September 29th, 2015 at 01:50am

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal

Brian shifted with a small frown on his handsome features - truth be told he honestly believed Dr. Baker's job was a waste of time. Therapist just preyed on the weak minded and vulnerable for their money; Brian refused to be that guy. At the mention of the questionnaire he briefly glanced down at it, his eyebrow quirking in annoyance as he read over some of the questions. It was just a bunch of bull-shit, with an exaggerated roll of his eyes he placed it down on the table. He was not going to fill it out - he didn't need this fucking shrink trying to analyze his mind. "She thinks I'm depressed or some shit," The brunette gave a lift of his shoulders. He honestly didn't know what Michelle's problem was with him anymore; there were too many things to list off. "She says I drink too much since Jim died," He continued as he crossed one leg over the other - the itch for some type of liquid joy intensifying at the mention of his deceased friend.

"She didn't fucking care how much I drank until I lost my job." He scoffed, now crossing his arms over his chest like a toddler who didn't get his way. His words were only half true - Michelle always complained about his drinking, but she had intensified her approach once he lost his job. He felt, almost, pathetic as he spoke to Dr. Baker - he didn't need him to judge him as well, he got enough of that at home.

October 6th, 2015 at 09:43am

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal

Brian shifted with a small frown on his handsome features - truth be told he honestly believed Dr. Baker's job was a waste of time. Therapist just preyed on the weak minded and vulnerable for their money; Brian refused to be that guy. At the mention of the questionnaire he briefly glanced down at it, his eyebrow quirking in annoyance as he read over some of the questions. It was just a bunch of bull-shit, with an exaggerated roll of his eyes he placed it down on the table. He was not going to fill it out - he didn't need this fucking shrink trying to analyze his mind. "She thinks I'm depressed or some shit," The brunette gave a lift of his shoulders. He honestly didn't know what Michelle's problem was with him anymore; there were too many things to list off. "She says I drink too much since Jim died," He continued as he crossed one leg over the other - the itch for some type of liquid joy intensifying at the mention of his deceased friend.

"She didn't fucking care how much I drank until I lost my job." He scoffed, now crossing his arms over his chest like a toddler who didn't get his way. His words were only half true - Michelle always complained about his drinking, but she had intensified her approach once he lost his job. He felt, almost, pathetic as he spoke to Dr. Baker - he didn't need him to judge him as well, he got enough of that at home.

October 6th, 2015 at 09:46am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ max bemis.

Zack kept his face neutral as he listened to Brian's brief explanation. It sounded like he was very stressed, but he would find out more about his drinking habits later. "It's normal to want to escape grief through any means possible. Losing someone close to you can be devastating." He tried to sound sympathetic. He was glad that Brian was at least trying to participate, so he didn't want to speculate too much about how he was feeling. "Can I ask who Jim is? How long ago did he pass?" If Zack could get him talking freely, Brian might notice that saying some of these things out loud would be cathartic, which might be enough to get him to agree to a few more sessions. Everyone needs someone to talk to, he thought.

Zack settled into his chair a bit more, though he didn't want to appear too comfortable. He licked his lips briefly, and let his green eyes flick over Brian's features. Brian clearly wasn't a drunk, but that didn't mean that he didn't have a drinking problem of some kind. Substance abuse and treatment was Zack's specialty, though he saw many patients for a variety of reasons, and he knew from experience that if he immediately went into Brian's drinking habits, it might make him even more defensive. He needed Brian's trust before they got into that subject.

October 6th, 2015 at 01:14pm

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

Wordlessly the brunette cursed himself for foolishly mentioning his deceased friend - he was practically giving the damned doctor what he wanted. However, he noted, it wasn't terribly awful talking about it with the man - it was a nice change. When his friend first passed away he tried to talk to Michelle, but she didn't understand. She wanted Brian to hurry with his grieving process - she didn't fancy seeing her husband like that, didn't have the emotional capacity to put up with it. He gave a lift of his shoulders, "He was a friend." His best fucking friend, he frowned. He didn't see what talking about Jimmy would do for him; other than irk his nerves and cause him to snap at the attractive doctor. How long had his friend been gone?

It felt like it had been years, but he knew that wasn't correct. "Almost a year, I think." His days basically blurred together as of lately - woke up, fought with Michelle, got drunk, went home and passed out - that was the routine he had been living. Glancing up, the first time since he noticed how captivating Dr. Baker's eyes were, and frowned some as he studied the therapist. "I'm not some depressed drunkard." He clarified, his dark eyes meeting Zack's.

@ oddrascal

October 7th, 2015 at 10:45am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ max bemis.

Zack smiled slightly at Brian's comment about not being a drunkard. He would never refer to a patient that way. "I didn't think you were, though I should tell you that even if that were the case, it's not my job to pity or judge. All I'm here for is to listen, offer a little perspective, and, only if you want, to teach coping skills to help you handle things that stress you out." He could tell from his body language that Brian was skeptical of that claim, but he wasn't going to try and convince him. If the situation were different, and the man before him wasn't a client, he would have reached out to reassure him, but he couldn't do that now. Thankfully, it was getting easier to ignore how handsome he was, to treat him with the same impartial compassion that he would show with anyone else.

Adjusting his glasses again, more out of habit than necessity, Zack changed the subject back to Brian's friend. "Losing a friend is tough. Not only are you missing that person, and grieving for them, but it's a reminder of our own mortality." He wasn't trying to be philosophical, just stating the facts as he saw them. Maybe what this guy was missing was someone who could show a little empathy. If it had been a year, it was likely that Brian's friends and family were moving past the loss of their loved one, which would only make it harder on him. Exhaling slowly, he went for another attempt to get Brian talking, watching his expressive brown eyes. "Tell me more about Jim. You must have been close." If grief was what drove Brian to drink in the first place, it was a good place to start.

October 7th, 2015 at 05:24pm

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal
The brunette made a noise in the back of his throat - a bit skeptical of the doctor's claim. Brian was fairly certain that the young doctor was lying to him - Zack was probably already trying to string together some sob story about his life. "Are you some type of fucking fortune cookie?" Furrowing his eyebrows in annoyance Brian crossed his arms over his chest - he wasn't necessarily mad at the therapist, he was more so aggravated at himself for even opening his goddamn mouth. However, Brian mused with a frown, it did feel nice to have somebody offer to actual listen to him. Michelle had once been sympathetic for her husband, but as days turned to weeks she began to lose her patience with his grieving process. Studying the doctor for a brief moment Brian let out a soft exhale, "He was basically my best friend." His lips twisted into another frown - the familiar sting of tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes - fuck, he was so juvenile.

Brian uncrossed his arms and cleared his throat, "How can you stand this stupid office?" He felt like the air around him was thickening, suffocating him. Uncertain of his next question Brian hesitated, "Can we talk somewhere else?" He wanted to suggest the bar, but that would probably be a definite no from the doctor. He cleared his throat, "I want to talk.. But I feel fucking crazy talking to you here, man."

[ I hope this is okay D: ]

November 6th, 2015 at 08:12am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

At first, it seemed like things were starting to move along, like Brian was willing to discuss the things on his mind, which had Zack smiling slightly. When Brian expressed his discomfort with the office, however, Zack couldn't disguise his surprise. He liked his office, and he was unsure why it was so off putting, but he had no objections to Brian's request if it would help him open up. "Uh, sure. I've made house calls for patients before, or we could meet at a café if that's more your speed..." The part of him that was attracted to the brunette was curious about where Brian lived, but he ignored that thought entirely. That was not why they were having this conversation. Plus, his wife's presence would probably not help the situation at all.

"Normally, I'd cut the session short and agree to meet elsewhere next week," he was watching Brian's reaction carefully, "but you're my last appointment for the day." Zack was tired, but he could sense Brian's distress, and he hated leaving patients hanging when they were upset. "Where would you rather be?"

@ max bemis. (Yep, you're good. =D )

November 6th, 2015 at 04:09pm

maxim adam bemis; (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 40
Location:: United States

@ oddrascal

It wasn't the office itself, it was simply the stigma that came with sitting on the couch in a therapist's office - Brian was almost certain he would die if Matt somehow found out. The last thing he needed was for his group of friends to think he was completely off his rocker. "A cafe, or whatever, would probably be better." God, he definitely didn't need Michelle hanging over his shoulder as he talked to the therapist. If he was going to do this, actually talk to the shrink, he would need his privacy. Brian Haner was good at many things, but when it came to emotions the man had a tendency to clam up - unless it was anger, being angry was simple. As Zack spoke the brunette glanced down at his phone as the screen lit - probably a message from Michelle - choosing to ignore it he merely focused on the time, it wasn't terribly late. "You sure you wouldn't mind? He questioned hesitantly, Brian didn't want to be an inconvenience to the therapist.

He still had his doubts about Zack actually caring about his minor problems, but still, Brian found himself comfortable in the other's presence. He knew it was idiotic, he was only a pay check, a face among the many that the poor guy saw every week. It was the guy's job to make people feel at ease, "A bar," He admitted as he stood to his feet, however he knew that was probably off the table. Who got drunk with their shrink? "You like coffee? There's this place a few blocks down, it's pretty decent."

November 13th, 2015 at 06:26am

oddrascal (100)

:: Member
Gender:: ♂
Age:: 34
Location:: United States

@ maxim adam bemis;

Zack chuckled softly at Brian's suggestion, touching the back of his neck sheepishly. If the man had a drinking problem, going to a bar wasn't something he'd normally suggest, but he didn't write the idea off entirely. It might give him a chance to get some unique insight into his new patient. "Let's save the bar for next time, huh? I'll buy you coffee today." At the moment, he was surprised that Brian was willing, but Zack would take what he could get. He honestly wanted to help. Standing up slowly, he went to his desk to gather his phone, keys, wallet. "Let's take a walk, and I'll let you explain more about your current situation, okay? Just, whatever you're comfortable telling me."

Slipping into his jacket, Zack arched an eyebrow, looking towards the door and then back to Brian. "Shall we?" It felt a little strange to do this, especially after hours, but Zack told himself that he had the situation under control. They would chat for an hour or so, schedule a second session, and take it from there. It didn't matter that his approach was unconventional, and even though he was still looking at Brian with a little more than professional interest, he tried to stay in "shrink mode," rather than get distracted. Here goes, he thought.

November 13th, 2015 at 08:34am