Angels Fall, It's Not Your Fault

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Girls dreamed of the perfect relationship, from their early preteen years to the day they realized they were in their own dreamy relationship. Charlie had been in her fair share of relationships, some were better than others. Some had been with the one or so she thought. But then she had met Ben, three and a half years ago when he came in on a chilly winter night, looking for a drink to warm up with. She had known from that very moment that Ben would be the man she was going to marry. The way that he had smiled, the way that he had just started small talk immediately, her heart had melted when Ben mentioned he would have to come by again, just to see her. Charlie had been hopeful but she didn't really think it would turn out to go anywhere but then, her very next shift, Ben came in toward the end of the night. He had offered to walk her home and strangely enough, Charlie had never felt safer than when she had Ben at her side, he had a certain attitude about him. Strong, confident was what she had told herself. Not deadly, able to make someone disappear with the snap of his fingers.

Charlie had loved her job at the cafe, one she had gotten shortly before turning 18. She had only gotten it as a part time job while making her way through college, wanting to eventually go on to become a veterinary technician. Animals had been her first love and when she had met Ben, everything just seemed to... fit. She would be graduating inn a few years and in the mean time, she could get to know Ben who had become a figure in her life. Six months later, Ben had finally asked that question. It had been a romantic walk through the same park they had gone on their first date in. By the fountain they had had their first kiss by. God, she hadn't known how else to deal with it. She had jumped into his arms and said yes over and over, couldn't have been happier.

Everything had stayed the same, she just slowly fell deeper and deeper in love with Ben while going to school and working part time. There were times when they would be together and Ben just so suddenly needed to leave completely or had to go take a phone call that she couldn't be around for some reason. Whenever she asked why, Ben just brushed it off as a business prospect. Charlie had reluctantly decided to let it go because if it was that important, Ben would tell her. Right? At least Charlie had convinced herself of that.

All Charlie wanted to do was go home and cuddle into Ben's side while relaxing on the couch... or anything,, really. Anything that meant that she could relax because after a nine hour shift, she was exhausted. She had texted Ben that she would be staying until close because it had gotten really busy but then it had died completely, since it was the first snow fall and all, so Charlie ended up getting off nearly an hour and a half early. Heading straight home, to the house that Ben and she shared, Charlie half wandered about calling Ben to let him know she was on her way home. But she wanted to surprise him because the pure happiness that was over his face every time she came home melted her heart, each and every time.

Charlie had pulled up to the house but had needed to park on the other side of the street and one down, because all of the spaces in front of their home had been taken. She didn't really think much of it, gathered her belongings and set out for the house. She headed inside, kicking off her shoes before she even bothered to look up. What startled her most was the noise - it sounded vaguely like words but by the time she could make sense of them, she was staring at a horrific scene in front of her. Ben was standing in front of a man handcuffed to a chair, who looked nearly unrecognizable. He screamed for help but it was more like hoarse cries and that was what had alerted Ben and his friends to her presence in the first place.

She wanted to scream, she did, but all Charlie could do was stare at the scene, eyes wide. But then her light instinct kicked in and she turned, reaching to open the door. Charlie wasn't thinking now, she was trying her best to make it off of their front steps and God, she hoped she did because what she had seen had terrified her to her very core.

@ varkatzas.
Ben sighed looking at the man in the chair. He was sure he would have given up by now but it seemed he needed to continue to beat the answers out of him. Ben hadn't intended to have this happen here tonight but this dick had been holding out information on him for months and was a damn mole. There was another rival gang rising up in one of the most lucrative fields that Ben ran and he wasn't relinquishing control. Ben also didn't tolerate moles. Once you pledged allegiance to him that was it until you either was getting out of the game or died. He had strict rules and everyone knew them. Ben was a fair man even if he was a primal mastermind. He still knew that men worked harder for those leaders that treated their workers fair.
Ben was just whipping off the blood on his hand on a rag. He looked up as the man's diminishing attention had turned towards that door. He noticed that desperate look for help and knew there was someone here that hadn't been here before. He looked up and that was when Ben saw her. "Charlie." he called to her but he could see by the glazed look she viewed the situation with that she was going into shock.
He had never wanted her to find out but least of all like this. She turned and started to run. Ben cursed. "Take care of this." he spat and ran after Charlie. She was just about to make it out when he grabbed her and picked her up. "Charlie please. Calm down baby. Let me explain." he tried but she didn't seem like she was going to come quietly. Ben pulled her back into their apartment. His gang had already moved the man out the back and the bloody tarp too. Ben took Charlie to their room and he tossed her onto the bed as he closed and locked the door. He turned to her. "Charlie... swather." he cooed trying to sooth her out of the shock. The look she gave him cut deeper than any knife ever could. He frowned and slowly moved towards her. "Charlie come on love talk to me. I know your freaked. I am sorry. I never meant you to find out." he said and touched her hand only to have her pull from him. Ben felt like he had been slapped in the face. He would try to be civil but he wasn't a very patient man. Somehow though Charlie had been the only one to very inspire that in him. She made him good in so many ways and she would never fully know it. He only wanted to calm her and make sure she was okay but she didn't seem okay with him let alone what had happened.
Ben suddenly knew their happy life was over. The truth had come out and he had to get this resolved. Ben's worst nightmare had finally come true and he knew it was even worse than he had imagined.

No, no, no. This wasn't it. No. No way in hell. This wasn't happening, she was seeing things. Charlie was sure of it. Because how was she seeing Ben, her loving and caring boyfriend, with blood on his hands from a man he had evidently been beating to a bloody pulp? It was enough to lodge a lump in her throat as she made it to the steps of their home, only to feel arms wrap around her. She shook her head but couldn't seem to find a voice to scream for help, the sound just wasn't there. She struggled in Ben's arms, twisting this way and turning that way, trying desperately to push away his arms. But who was she kidding? She had no chance against him.

Charlie choked out a half-hearted sob when she hit the mattress, the impact seeming to jar her out of her shock. Tensing at the sound of the lock, Charlie's eyes were wide as she stared at Ben. She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to say. But she couldn't seem to think of what exactly to say. Her stomach was at her feet, all she wanted to do was cry. Cry and sob and ask why. Why was that man in their living room. Why was that man beaten until he could barely open his eyes? Charlie jerked away from Ben's hand and scrambled away from him as quickly as she could. As far as she could, Charlie ended up in the far corner of the bed, next to her night stand.

Closing her eyes, Charlie shook her head and reached up quickly to wipe away the tear that had just started to fall. "What? Find out what? That you're a monster?" She choked on the last word. Charlie didn't want to believe it, she didn't, but that was the truth. BEcause why else would you beat a man within inches of his life? There was no reasonable explanation.

She moved to stand, bitting down onto her lip. It was starting to bleed the slightest bit but that didn't really matter - the pain was all that could keep her from having a break down. "Don't. I don't care what your reason is," Charlie whispered, as loud as she could even manage which wasn't much louder than a whisper. Charlie moved over to the small walk in closet that was more or less hers, and reached for a bag. "I'm leaving. Now," The last word was a bit more solid and as she stepped out of the closet, Charlie tensed noticing Ben staring at her. She just hoped he would let it go because she didn't want to be here. Not anymore.

@ varkatzas.
Ben hated how she looked at him. Then she said the words that snapped something inside of him. "Charlie!" he snapped and instantly regretted it. He hung his head frowning. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell." he said and then sighed sitting on the edge of the bed watching her cowering in the corner. "Charlie I am not going to hurt you. I know what you saw is scary but you don't even want to know why? You're just going to..." She got up and declared she was leaving. And she snapped at him. He stood squaring his shoulders. Ben moved over to her and grabbed her wrist pinning her carefully to the wall. He was careful not to hurt her. She already thought him a monster why should he give her another reason. "So you're just going to leave me? Just like that? After three god damn long three years? Does our love, our lives mean nothing to you? And where the hell would you go Charlie?" Ben demanded answers from her. "You saw nothing that would lead you to give up so easily on us. Or are you not the stubborn woman I know? Yes what you saw was awful. But no it doesn't give you the right to rip out my heart and stomp on it!" he said and pulled back because again she seemed to be cowering from him. He ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck." he said and looked at her. "You're just tired. You had a long day. In the morning you might be more inclined to see that this... this stupid thing is not something to throw away everything for." he said and shook his head. How the hell had it come to this? Ben had thought perhaps she would have screamed and yelled about how stupid and wrong he was but that she would have wanted to work this out. How had he been so wrong about the woman that he loved.
Ben pulled off his shirt and tossed it into the hamper. He really wanted a shower but he didn't think it was a good idea to leave her alone right now. He cursed again and pulled off his shoes and socks before slipping into some flannel pajama bottoms that hung low showing off the muscles of his hips leading to another muscle of his she knew well, or had seemed to know. But now it was as if she knew nothing of him. He was still the man she had fallen in love with. He was still good. But he just had a dark side like everyone one else, maybe his dark side was worse than others and more planed out, and obviously much more illegal but he was't entirely bad. She was throwing out the baby with the bath water and he just didn't get how this stupid thing could make her forsake all the love they had. He looked at her ad narrowed his eyes. "I mean it Charlie... get changed." he said and watched her waiting.

Charlie jumped at his words, her eyes snapping to watch him apprehensively. Was he going to tur her into something that resembled the man downstairs? Her stomach had twisted into a knot and no way that she moved, did it transfer. It was a mess, and she couldn't seem to sort out the thoughts running through her mind. "No. I don't want to know why, Benjamin. That man, he needs a hospital. You. You did that to him," her words cut into her very core. All she wanted to do was melt into the wall because how else was she going to work through this? Turning her back to him, she began to rip off clothes from their hangers to shove into her bag. Charlie wanted out, period. She wanted to go somewhere, hell, she didn't know where she wanted to go. She wanted to go anywhere that wasn't here, if she was completely honest. Not that she felt safe enough to voice that.

She flinched as Ben neared her, going stiff as a board when Ben pressed her into the wall. Her mind was racing a mile a minute - every outcome ran through her mind at least once. What was he going to do to her? Charlie closed her eyes and for the first time, let out a quiet sob as she shook her head. She wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't. The fear that had stopped her words dead in their tracks. Now that Charlie had seen this side of him, she had no idea what she could expect from him. She was afraid of him now and she wasn't sure she could ever get over that.

When it dawned on her that Ben wasn't about to let her leave, Charlie just clung to her bag. Maybe he would turn and she could run. But she wasn't stupid, she knew she wouldn't make it far enough for anything to matter. The exhaustion finally hit her and Charlie leaned against the frame of the closet, watching him change into his pajamas. If this had happened on any other day, Charlie wouldn't have let him finish dressing without taking advantage of him. It was no secret, Charlie thought the man was gorgeous, loved both his mind and body wholeheartedly. But now the idea of being with him, made her sick to her stomach.

Charlie had closed her eyes, her bottom lip quivering as as she tried to keep it together. Ben spoke and she jerked, returning her gaze to him. She wanted to open her mouth and argue but she didn't have the energy to. Charlie raised herself up on shaky legs and turned, stepping back into the closet. There was barely enough room to stand inside. She felt oddly vulnerable, she didn't want to be naked in front of him. Swallowing the lump, she shut the door before she could think much more about it, hoping he'd leave her be. Pealing her shirt off, she decided to leave her tank top on. Charlie reached and tugged a sweater from its spot on the hanger, pulling it over her head. Shimming out of her jeans, Charlie leaned over to grab at her fuzzy pants. Anything to stay covered up and give herself a false sense of security.

Taking a deep breathe, Charlie tugged her sweater as close to her bed as she turned to step out of the closet. She stared at her feet, still half-in the closet. She didn't know what to do... or say, so she stood there and stared at her feet, her heart racing a mile a minute.

@ varkatzas.
Ben watched her go into the closet to change. He was half amused but mostly pissed off and beyond hurt. He felt like she had her hands in his chest and she was slowly crushing him. He sighed as she came out and he looked her up and down. He moved towards her and took her hand not hesitating. He knew she didn't want to be touched but right now he needed to feel her skin. He lead her to the bed and sat her on the edge. He stood there looking down at her. His eyes looked do sad in that serious face. He caressed her cheek and pushed her hair off her shoulder before he stepped back realizing she was getting more and more uncomfortable the more he touched her. Ben went to the other side of the bed and sat down in the bed looking at the wall across from them. "Charlie... I'm sorry. I love you Charlie. I need you to know that. No matter what nothing changes my love for you." he said and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair feeling drained and like nothing was worth it. How was he going to win her back. "It wouldn't have made much a difference if I had told you I was a mob leader..." he said his Irish accent kicking in with how much emotion he spoke with. "I wanted to at some points. I wanted you to know my dark side... but I loved how you thought of me as so good. No one had ever done that before. No one ever had looked at me like you had." Ben said and sighed reaching over turning off the light but switching on a lamp. He moved the covers and scooted under them looking at her back. "Please understand I can't let ya leave love." Ben said and ran his hand through his hair one last time. "But I know you need time. So we'll talk. When we really talk then I will make arrangements for you to get away for a while..." he said knowing he would send someone he trusted to go with her.
Ben laid on his back and closed his eyes listening to her breath, or rather struggle to breath. He hated that he had been he one to cause her so much pain. He had always told her she hated surprises but then she had never listened. "Promise me you will give us a chance to just talk." he whispered not expecting her to say yes but willing, hoping and even praying that his angel would give him a chance.

Charlie drew in a sharp breathe at the contact, her body tensing. She had no idea what he was going to do and she was nearly paralyzed with fear. CHarlie hated the fact that she was shaking but she couldn't seem to make her body stop. All she wanted to do was wrap herself in Ben's arms and cry but she didn't because even now, sitting on the edge of the bed with Ben standing in front of her, she could see little bits of blood on his hands. Blood that wasn't his, hers, or anyone that he was helping. Swallowing back the sob, Charlie pulled her knees to her chest and rested her feet on the edge. She perked up at Ben's words and wanted to react but she couldn't, she was afraid of what he would turn into. If Ben was capable of doing that to someone else, there was no reason he couldn't do that to her.

"What I thought of you doesn't matter," Charlie whispered, shaking her head. God, she hated this. The fact that her entire idea of who and what Ben was was all a lie. She had thought of him as this great, big bear that had a heart bigger than anyone she had met before. Charlie slowly moved to lay down once Ben had turned off the light but she stuck to the edge of the bed. She didn't want to sleep but the exhaustion was sinking into her bones. BUt she forced herself to blink every time she wanted to close her eyes. Eventually, Ben had to fall asleep. And eventually, he had. Or so she thought.

Drawing in a deep breathe, Charlie moved to stand and slowly crept over to the door. She was careful not to knock into anything, not wanting to wake Ben. Reaching forward, she hesitated to unlock the door. In the dead of the night, the noise could be enough to wake Ben. He had always been a light sleeper but she guessed that she had an explanation now. Charlie tensed and hesitated just a moment longer before unlocking the door and leaving the room, careful to shut it behind him. Creeping downstairs, Charlie reached for her phone that was still in her purse by the door. call 911. That was all the text said that she sent to her best friend, Jaime, who also worked at the cafe.

Pushing her phone into the waistband of her pants, Charlie turned to head back up to their bedroom. She only hoped that someone would be there soon. Creeping into the room, Charlie jumped when she noticed Ben sitting up in bed. Her mind raced for an explanation and she lowered her head, "I was in the bathroom," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't notice her phone as she moved back toward the bed reluctantly.

@ varkatzas.
Ben sighed. "But it did. And if you never talk to me, you will never know how." he said before he went quiet. He tried to ignore the sinking in his stomach the longer she sat there crying. She wasn't laying down. If she didn't go to sleep he would have to get some sleeping pills and dose her. Ben felt her get off the bed the shaking had stopped. He heard the door unlock and it took everything in him not to bolt out of bed and demand from her what she was doing. He waited until she closed the door. How did she think he could sleep with his heart in her hands? He sat up sitting on the edge of the bed as he listened to the creaking of the stairs. He stood to follow her but before he even got to the door he heard her returning. He sat back on the bed hanging his head until she opened the door. When she lied to him his heart broke. "The bathroom down stairs?" he asked catching her in her lie. He saw the panic rise as she tried to sneakily move back to the bed hiding something. He sighed and watched her. His phone rang and he picked it up. "What?" he snapped tiredly. He was silent for a while then stood and moved to Charlie turning off his phone. He reached behind her and took the phone from her hands. She seemed so shocked that he knew. He then moved from her taking out the sim card and tossed it across the room watching it smash into pieces. He snapped the sim card then quietly moved from the room and washed up. He came back into the room and pulled on his shirt. He turned to her putting his phone locked into the drawer. "This hurts Charlie. This really hurts..." he said and grabbed the bat from under the bed and went down the stairs. Crashes and bangs where heard then some mumbling as he talked on the house phone. Suddenly the lights went out and the house completely dark the phones not working.
Moments later their were lights and sirens outside their house and there was more mumbling. It didn't take long before the lights where gone. It was a few minutes later Ben came back up the stairs and walked into the room. He had locked her in their room. Ben sighed and looked at her. "What you did't think that I don't have cops on my payroll? Honey.... Baby I am more dangerous than you know but never to you. You are the only light in my world. I know your scared but you will have to trust me now...." he sighed and shook his head. "Grab your bag. We're leaving. Since you obviously can't stay here and be trusted we're going on a trip. Somewhere I can have you alone and you can come to terms with this so we can talk... and somewhere where you don't have to sleep in the same bed." He sit the last part as he packed a bag of his own. "Grab your toiletries." he reminded her. Ben grabbed his phone and laptop and then texted her friend she had texted earlier to thank her for calling the cops and explained that they had a break in and Charlie was to shone up to talk. He also told her that they were going away so Charlie could relax and that they would be in touch when they returned. Ben was good at cleaning up messes and taking care of the small details. It was how he had't gotten caught. Ben finished getting dressed and then took her hand and their bags as well. He took them to his car and buckled her in. He put their stuff in and climbed in. "I really wish this could have gone differently Charlie but I am not giving up yet. I believe we can still work this out." he said and started the car driving off into the early morning.

Charlie's heart had been pounding before, sure, but when she stepped into the room to see Ben sitting up, she swore that it had skipped a beat or two. Or three. She just stared wide eyed after speaking and when he spoke, all she could do was nod her head. She jumped out of her skin when Ben's phone rang but when he began speaking on the phone, she took that as her opportunity to move back over to the bed. Charlie had an increasingly horrible feeling in her stomach but said nothing, not until he stood and began to approach her. She took a small step back and tried to turn, only to stop dead when Ben's hands went right to her phone. Her stomach dropped as she watched him take apart her phone, wincing as the phone was thrown across the room.

She had gone as pale as a ghost as she watched him grab the bat, unable to even think about saying or doing something in retaliation. Charlie let out a sharp gasp when the lights went out, holding her hoodie close to her chest. All she wanted to do was disappear into the floor but as hard as she tried, that wasn't going to happen. Instead, she moved to the other side of the room and slid down the wall, curling into a ball. All she wanted to do was sleep but her mind was racing far too much, listening to the crashes down stairs. Tensing as Ben reappeared, she just stared at him, anticipating his next moves. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Charlie shook her head. "I don't want to," she whispered, lowering her gaze. She didn't want to do any of this. She didn't want to be with Ben anymore because he was dangerous. She was almost positive that she had no idea just how dangerous either.

Having already packed her bag earlier, Charlie grabbed it and went for her toiletries. She returned from the bedroom, clinging to her bag. The task was all that was keeping her together at the moment. Her hand was limp in his, her breathing had hitched. She was growing increasingly scared - she had no idea where she was going or what they were doing. fuck. She wanted to ask but she wasn't so sure she wanted the answer because she didn't know how much she could trust him. It certainly didn't feel like much.

"You ruin peoples' lives. You kill, rob, blackmail. You're not who I thought you were. We can't," she mumbled, shaking her head. Charlie stared at her lap, picking at her finger nails. The further they drove, the further her stomach sank. Charlie had more or less checked out, she didn't want this relationship. She would figure something out, she just had to wait for the right opportunity. Right? God, she hoped so. She hoped he would turn his back at some point and she could run, maybe it really would be that simple. or so she could hope.

@ varkatzas.
Ben looked over at her and sighed. "You don't know who I even am, your right because all you have seen and all you know is that I beat up some guy. You didn't even ask why. So don't tell me how dangerous I am and the bad shit I do without talking to me because you know nothing." he growled and then looked back at the road turning on the radio not wanting to talk int he car because he did't want to get angry while driving. It was not a good combination. He couldn't drive, talk and control himself at the same time.
Ben drove for hours and hours before finally putting up to large house. "I was going to surprise you on our next anniversary with this... but this is more important." he said and parked in the garage. It was on a hill in the hills looking down at the small town far away. The house was on a lot of land with an orchard and a small lake and a huge lawn. The house itself was beautiful though nothing to flashy. Ben got out getting their bags and opened the door shouting into the house. "Paul!" An old man came out taking the bags from him and they talked a moment before the man left again. Ben turned and went back to the car opening her door and sighed. "Let me show you to your room. You need sleep." he said and offered her his hand. He waited a minute or so before dropping it and stepping back. "Come with me." he said and headed into the house. "Are you hungry?" he asked as she joined him. "I can have Azza bring you eggs and toast in your room." he said and lead her across the grand kitchen and into the living room turning down a hallway and up some stairs. He opened a door and stepped back letting her look at her room. He had put her on the second floor for a reason and also because it had a privet bathroom so she didn't have to come out if she didn't want to. He knew this was going to take time and he was willing to wait. Some day she wouldn't be scared of him and would want to at least talk.
Ben watched her look around and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Let me know if there is anything you need. "All the phones are wired internally. There is no calling out. I know you hate me right now so I will leave." he said and walked back down the stairs and to a door at the end of the hall. He went and showered knowing the staff where prepared to take care of Charlie and it was to far for her to walk to town without him being able to stop her. Bottom line she was stuck here with him and the staff who worked for him. He came out of the shower and dressed going to the kitchen to get his coffee and talk to the staff about what he expected and to apologize for the sudden arrival.

(can I just say if anyone surprised me with a house and a room like that, I would immediately forget their transgressions )

It was all that Charlie could do, she shook her head and settled into the drive. She didn't understand and it was unlikely that she ever would. How could Ben think anything that he did was justified? She didn't want to know how many peoples' lives he had either directly or indirectly ruined? God, the thought was enough to make her sick to her stomach. As tired as she was, she couldn't bring herself to because she was hoping to figure out where they were going. Maybe not an exact location but the general whereabouts. But fuck. She had not a clue - she had no idea where they were, this wasn't an area she was familiar with. It certainly wasn't something Ben had ever told her about. What was he planning to do with her? Her mind was racing and none of the outcomes were good.

God, her entire body was exhausted. Every fibre of her being just wanted sleep and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't relieved when he came to a stop in front of a large, beautiful home. Her eyes bulged a bit and she swallowed, completely shocked by the home they were facing. It was nearly 7 in the morning, they'd driven for so long. Charlie was quiet as she watched him climb out of the car. She didn't move, not wanting to deal with the potential argument if she did.

Watching an old man appear, her eyes narrowed a bit. The man was slightly leaning forward, but he seemed like a strong man. She wondered where Ben had met him, figured she could figure it out later. Maybe she could ask the man? No intention to talk to Ben any time soon, she had already counted out that idea.

When Ben returned, Charlie reluctantly followed him into the home. She hadn't spoken to him since the beginning of the drive. As if on cue, her stomach growled at the mention of food but she simply muttered a 'no', not sure if she could handle the food right now. Her stomach was doing flips and turns and twists. "I'm not hungry," she said a bit more firm this time, wanting to convince herself more than anything. Stepping into the room, Charlie twisted around when Ben began to speak.

Her eyes widened at the mention of the phones, he really was intending on this being like a prison for her, wasn't he? Her boyfriend was fucking crazy. Charlie knew she would have to wait until a chance appeared to get out of the house. The town was far away but.... she could do it. Right? There couldn't be someone watching her every minute of every day. Confidence was slowly building in her body that she would be able to make it. Deciding to bide her time, Charlie shut the bedroom door and promptly laid down to sleep. By the time her head hit the pillow, Charlie was fast asleep, curled under the blankets.

@ varkatzas.
(Haha yep me too)

After he finished talking to the staff he ate some food out on the deck. There where many times in his life that he had gone without sleep. He didn't like to do it but sometimes it was needed. He hoped charlie was at least getting some sleep. When he had gotten this house he had changed all the phones. Not only for security but because it made it way easier to pick it up dial a number and tell the kitchen to bring him breakfast. It was never meant to be a part of a trap for Charlie. He sighed having envisioned their first night her countless times and never had it been like this, even would he have wished for her to hate him.
Ben didn't understand why she did hate him. He was only doing a job and it paid well. Why would she complain about that? She should think of him more as a dirt politician or a dictator not a thug but he knew she did't see the value in what he did. If Ben got out of the game and didn't leave a successor then there would be rival gangs all over the city and gang wars would break out. He in one sense was protecting the city by claiming his turf and it was a large turf. He sighed and pushed his finished plate away. Plus he sold the good drugs, not the cheep cute stuff that was dangerous and deadly. Ben stood and went inside wondering how he could make her see that out of all the bad i the world he was a little better. It had been a long time since he had gotten his hands dirty and she happened to pop in on the one time? His luck was running out but he knew how to get it back. He picked up his cell as he walked into his office and called his right hand man. They where going to squish that competition once and for all. They could either join him or he would destroy them.
It was later in the afternoon when Ben had Azza take up a nice meal to Charlie. She had the keys to the entire house except one room which only he had the key for. Ben paced hoping Charlie would at least be kind to Azza and eat. As was a great older Russian woman, like a mother to him in some ways always nagging him not to be so quiet and to eat more. She warmed his heart and he hoped she would do the same for Charlie.

As came knocking on Charlie's door and waited for some kind of reply before she came in talking in her loud it doesn't matter what you say voice. "You must eat, you too skinny." she said with her thick accent as she set the food on the nightstand and then went over to the bath and turned it on. "Then you take nice bath and relax. Bath good for soul and tears." she said as if knowing that Charlie was not okay. "Now I bring up a nice dress from masters chambers and lay it on your bed after I make it but you must take bath and eat." she said and smiled warmly at Charlie and was gone before Charlie could argue. As came down to Ben and smacked him int he arm. "What you do to her? She mopey and suborn never good combo." she said and Ben hung his head. As nodded at his silence. "Yes well she good girl and come around with some time. You see." As said before she walked away.

Charlie had nearly all but slept up until Azza brought her a meal. She jerked awake at the sound of the knock and watched Azza with weary eyes, trying to blink the sleep from them. Reaching up, she rubbed at her eyes for a moment before moving to sit up completely. She mumbled a quiet thank you and stared down at her food, only to look up at the sound of the water. SHe couldn't help but smile at the woman's words, she wondered who the Russian woman was and yet, she didn't know how to ask. What would happen if she did?

"Why?" She found her voice just as Azza was leaving. Charlie was left to wonder why Azza would bring up a dress to her. She assumed it would be something to do with Ben and reluctantly, she moved to stand. She undressed, leaving them in a pile. Charlie grabbed the glass of iced tea that had accompanied the food and slid into the warm water. Not wanting to eat, she figured it could at least be enough if she soaked for a bit. Sipping at the tea, she leaned into the side of the tub. What was she going to do? What did Ben want from her? Her mind was at war. She wanted nothing more than go find Ben and curl up in his arms but every time she got too far into her day dream, an image of Ben from the night before would flash through her mind.

Charlie finished the tea and set the glass down outside of the tub. She climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in one of the fluffiest towels she'd ever had her hands on. She had pulled up a chair to the window, just looking out it and getting lost in her thoughts when another knock came. Glancing behind herself, she called out or whoever it was to come in. She forced a smile when Azza appeared, "What is he planning?" She asked, wondering what this was all about. She wanted some sort of forewarning, what she was in for. She didn't want to be here, or around Ben. But she doubted she really had any choice in the matter.

@ varkatzas.
Azza smiled as she saw Charlie looking more refreshed. She set the dress on the rack while she made the bed. She then set the dress on the bed and looked at the nightstand. "You still no eat? You think my cooking bad?" She looked sad for a moment before handing Charlie the food again. She didn't stop or talk until Charlie had taken something off the plate and taken a bite. "He plan nothing. Dress simply to make you feel better. "Master is good man with rough edges. He want you to rest so he not force nothing now." she said and set the food back down on the night stand. "Dress simply to make you feel good. Pretty things make pretty girls smile." she said and grinned. "Besides gardens nice you should go for walk. Master be in study most of day. He ask about you though. I tell him you mopey. But he know he done bad. He hang head in shame." She laughed. "Never seen him like tis it amusing. Big strong man crippled by girl mean look." she laughed again a strong hearty but sharp laugh. There was nothing playful about her laugh it was simply another presence in the room. "You call phone on two if you want dinner up here. Maybe you join him on deck. It be nice night and nice surprise. Eat!" she said and left.

Ben sat at his desk in his study that was a room off of the library. He talked on his cell rubbing his head wishing he didn't have to clean up the mess he had made the one night he lost it. "He is still alive?" he asked and nodded to himself. "Has he talked?" He paused listening. "Good. Now take that information and get that shit off my streets. I don't want people thinking that cut shit is coming from us. We got a retain to uphold." he said and hung up looking up as Azza came in with water as he had asked for from the kitchen but they knew he was in a fowl mood so they sent the one person he couldn't get mad at.

Charlie let out a soft laugh and shook her head, "No... I just don't have an appetite right now," she murmured. When Azza insisted, she relented and took a few bites of the toast that was on the plate. When Azza confirmed what the dress was for, Charlie had to bite back a sob. She had no idea what to do because really, Ben had never once hurt her. Had never once given her a reason to want anyone else and yet, here she was, wishing that very thing. Despite all of that, Ben still wasn't the man she thought that he was. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she shrugged at the mention of the garden. The thought was intriguing, she was somewhat considering it as she nibbled at the slice of toast. "Thank you," Charlie called out as Azza left the room.

Staring at the dress, Charlie struggled with whether she should put it on or not. The idea of putting it on seemed like she was accepting everything that Ben was and really, she wasn't. She wasn't that type of person, she could never hope to be. She certainly hoped that Ben would never ask that of her. She could never condemn the things that he would do in the future and the things that he had done in the past.

Deciding to just slip into a pair of jeans and a tunic, Charlie left the room after pulling her hair up into a messy bun. Charlie headed downstairs, in search of the front door. Once outside, she headed toward the garden. At least she could get lost there and not have to worry about anything for at least a few minutes.

@ varkatzas.
Azza smiled at Ben. "You should have dinner on porch tonight. Dress nice and be outside. Maybe she be there." she said. Ben chuckled. "As you are a saint but a little romance won't fix this." he said and watched her as she set the water in his hands. He drank deeply as she spoke. "You never know. Now she go on walk in garden. Go pick her flowers. She need to know you still good man. Show her." Azza said and Ben sighed shaking his head. "No she needs space and time. She is afraid of me Azza not mad at me." he said and with that Azza left knowing better than to push him. Ben put his water down and stood kicking his desk. He ran a hand through his hair and turned looking out the window seeing his beautiful love of his life out there walking amongst the flowers. He sighed wishing he had a way to just reach out and touch her but she didn't want to be touched.
Ben worked most the day catching up on things he had been slacking off in. It meant a lot more crime picked up but he wasn't thinking about that. He went onto the porch looking out over the trees. He looked on his phone making sure no one had crossed the perimeter. He knew as long as Charlie stayed on the grounds then he could leave her alone for the most part but if she over stepped and left then they would have problems. Ben hoped she realized he had brought her here so she didn't have to see him but that he could also keep an eye on her.
It was nearing dinner time and he sat down at a table for two that Azza had set up. She really was trying to do good. Ben expected nothing. "Azza..." he summoned her and handed her the extra plate. "Only bring it out if she shows. I don't want her to think I expected her." he said and sipped his wine as Azza left. She would return later with his food.

Charlie had settled on a small, stone bench that she had found in the garden. Surrounded by flowers and even a small fish pond, she found herself able to relax. She had no idea what the future had in store for her but she could at least say that she had to go home at some point. She had school and her job, surely Ben would let her return for them, right? All she had to do was make it until that point and then she could figure it out. Whether it was speaking to a security guard on campus or telling her manager at work or telling someone else, it would get sorted out. It had to. She just... she had to. Ben wouldn't be able to do this forever surely, she had to be strong. If he meant to not let her return? Well, she would sort that out when it came to it.

Deciding it may just be the right idea to play nice and try to get what she wanted, Charlie reluctantly stood up once it started to get a bit darker. She made her way back up to the house, playing with the bracelet she wore on h er left wrist. Inside the house, Charlie hesitated for a moment before going out onto the patio. Her stomach flipped when she caught sight of Ben, the fear running through her veins. She hesitated again before slowly walking over to the table that was set up. Charlie didn't think too much of it and simply sat down, refusing to look at Ben now. She didn't say a thing and just waited for Ben to speak. Whatever he had to say, he would when it was time. Until then, she didn't trust herself to speak so she kept silent.

@ varkatzas.
Ben looked up as the door opened floored that he saw Charlie. He bit his lip watching he fear spike in her. He could hear it in how she breathed. She came over though and sat down instead of running away. He was impressed to say the least. She remained silent and he looked down from her. "Will you eat with me?" he asked softly. Ben could tell that she was not ready to have a real conversation. If she was she would be asking all kinds of questions. No it seemed she was feeling him out and seeing if he was going to be violent to her which of course was not his intention. She was being normal. He could understand her reaction for the most part but it was her silence that really unnerved him.
Ben looked up as Azza brought out two plates of food and Charlie's place setting. That woman did not give up. She set everything down looked happily between them and then left a huge smile on her face. Ben chuckled and shook his head. "She's been setting us up this whole time." he said and shook his head picking up his fork and taking a bite. "Charlie... I really just want you to get to a place where you can ask questions. I am not asking you to accept me, or any of this yet. I am trying to keep my cool here but it is up to you if I stay that way. I just ask that you stay until you hear me out and at least come to some kind of understanding agree or not." Ben said and took another bite.

"I'm not hungry," Charlie answered with a shrug of her shoulders. It was true though. She wasn't anywhere near hungry because her mind was all over the place. She almost felt like she was going to be sick all over again because this wasn't something she could ever hope to understand. Charlie relaxed, although momentarily, when Azza appeared with their food. She could at least pick at the food so the older woman wouldn't be upset. That could work, no?

"Up to me? Fuck. Ben. You don't get it," Charlie snapped suddenly, looking up to him with a glare. She shook her head and let out a bitter laugh. Tears started to swell in her eyes and she closed them so Ben couldn't see how close she was to crying. "This is all on you. You're the one that got yourself in the position you're in. You're the one that chose to beat that man. You're the one that chose to do whatever you've done in the past. I'd be afraid to know what you've done," her voice gradually grew quieter until it was barely a whisper at the end.

"I have school. Work. I can't stay here. I don't want to stay here. Because you lied to me. You didn't tell the truth about who you are. I can't trust you because of what you've done. Not because of anything I've done!" Charlie smacked her hand on the table out of frustration, opening her eyes to fix Ben with a glare. Screw it. Screw the fear. Screw trying to fix this because any time she even vaguely considered it, all the possible horrors flashed through her mind.