you’ve been the only thing that’s right, in all I’ve done.

James was beyond confused, he didn’t know who he was or where he came from. The only things he knew is what Hydra agents had told him, he remembered all the missions that Hydra had given him over the last few years. He remembered all the people he hurt and killed, but they didn’t affect him. Should they affect him?

His last mission had known him, he knew him very well but James couldn’t remember him. All he had was quick memories that left his mind just as soon as they entered, he could place the man’s face in his life but that was about all.

After Hydra went into hiding, James ran for his life as he didn’t want to continue being the murderer that he was made to be. He didn’t know where he was going or who he could turn to, he didn’t even trust anyone and he didn’t have any friends.

So he did the only thing that he could think of, he visited the museum that had a dedication for Captain America and the Howling Commandos. He had abandoned the suit that Hydra had given him, but that meant he needed to sell some clothes which he did. Mostly to keep his face hidden and his metal arm out of sight, he couldn’t get captured again by Hydra as he was certain they would either kill him or brainwash him again.

James knew that he could find that man again, the one who knew him but he was also scared. Right now there was too much going on in his life and in his head, he wanted to know who he was but at the same time he didn’t want to be a burden on anyone’s life.

So as he stood in front of a wall which had his face printed on it, he read the words that described the old life he had. Steve, that was the man’s name and apparently they had been best mates since childhood. They had been through so much until his death, now James knew why Steve had been so shocked when he first saw his face when his mask had been knocked off in a fight.

James lost track of time as he stood there re-reading the write up that he was given, he only wanted to know more so he slowly walked around the room and took everything in as much as he could. He even watched a small film about Captain America, which made him come face to face with the man he used to be.

A time in his life that he simply couldn’t remember, not even watching the film was helping his memories. But that could also be because his mind was overwhelmed with everything that he was seeing and reading, it was a lot to take in and James was struggling. Standing up he quickly made his way away from the large screen, he dodged around people who were enjoying their day.

He needed to calm himself as he didn’t want to attract attention to himself, not that he needed to calm himself down because he was when his eyes landed on her. He did remember her instantly however, he had only seen her a small handful of times at the Hydra base. He wasn’t sure what her name was or why she was even involved with Hydra, but she looked just as lost as he did.

Which is what caused him to walk over to her, “Hello ma’am. Do you remember seeing me?” He asked as what else was he meant to say to her, he didn’t want to scare her away but at the same time he wasn’t sure if she was still involved with Hydra.

---

Charlotte had decided to call Steve as she wanted to check on him and see how he was going, he was still somewhat new to this era and it would take time for him to get used to it. She had asked him to meet her at a small local park that wasn’t too far from his apartment, she had been so busy with work that she didn’t have much spare time for herself. So today was her day off and she wanted to spend it with Captain America.

All her life she has heard stories about him from her Grandpa, she had always been close to her grandparents as her parents worked a lot when she was growing up. So she often visited her grandparents after school and she was always at their house on the weekends, sometimes she even stayed over at their house for weeks on end just because her parents were too busy working to look after her.

So when her Grandma passed away a few years ago, it broke Charlotte’s heart but it also made her push herself through medical school. She was now a doctor and was working at a large hospital, she loved her job but it was stressful and had such long hours.

Currently her Grandpa was living in a retirement village as he wasn’t able to live on his own anymore, he was very stubborn to move but he knew it was for the best. Charlotte visited him every chance that she got, even on her lunch break she would often visit him because they were so similar.

Charlotte had even brought some food along with her, so her and Steve could have some lunch while they wandered the park or just sat there and talked. She smiled when she saw the attractive blonde man making his way over to her, she first met Steve a few weeks ago when he came to visit her Grandpa while she was there. That visit had made her Grandpa so happy, he was able to relive the life he had with someone who was there with him.

“Hi, how are you? I hope that this wasn’t too soon, if you have plans then we can do this on another day.” Charlotte looked at him as she suddenly wondered if he did have other plans for his day, when she called him yesterday he seemed to agree to meet her quickly but now she wasn’t sure if she was ruining his day or any plans.

Eleanor's frown had no lifted from her face since she woke this morning. Everything just seemed wrong and all she could feel was confusion. She had no idea where she was or even what the day was so she just walked. She hoped maybe that while she walked the streets someone would call her name or come up to her to help her fill in all the blanks in her mind, but there were just so many people passing her by without a second glance.

There was not much she could remember. The only thing that came to her mind when she woke up gasping for breath was that her name was Eleanor Kellman. She didn't understand how she could simply forget everything even what she had done last night.

Someone had to know her though and something had to have happened last night. She woke up in an unfamiliar apartment. She wanted to be sure that it wasn't hers, but she was not sure on anything right now. The apartment looked like it someone had lost their cool. Chairs were tipped over, tables were flipped, glass was smashed and lamps were broken. There wasn't much in the place that wasn't broken.

She had looked through that entire apartment looking for clues as to what happened. There were no clothes in the cupboard, no products in the bathroom and there wasn't even any food in the fridge. She had searched the pockets on her worn out jeans and the pockets of her black jacket for her ID, money or even a set of keys, but she came up empty handed. She was confused and scared.

With every step she took she hoped that something would stand out and maybe knock a brick out of the wall in her mind, but, still, nothing looked familiar. Small things began to pop in her mind like did she even know how to drive a car? Did she even have a home? Did she do something terrible last night? Maybe she had drunk too much or even had drugs. Something had to come back to her in time if that was the case and she hoped that it was.

Her feet soon stopped outside Smithsonian Institution. Something had clicked into her mind; she knew where she was, but it was still not much help. She had this gut feeling that this was not the city she had grown up in and she still could not remember if she actually lived in this city or not. She sighed softly to herself as she slipped her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she climbed the stairs.

A dedication piece for Captain America and the Howling Commandos was not going to help her remember, but she felt drawn to the place. Even if nothing happened she felt interested by what was inside. She did not remember much about history; bits and pieces really, but it might help her.

She moved about the building with confusion written all over her face. She didn't remember any of the stories that she had seen written up on the walls. She wanted to cry and scream to let out all of her frustrations, but people would think she was crazy and she would be locked up without the chance to know anything about herself.

It wasn't long until she just stopped moving and just stood there glancing at the walls and the people who passed by her. No one looked and her and no one seemed to care that she looked confused and distressed. Why couldn't she remember anything?

“Hello ma’am. Do you remember seeing me?” Her head snapped in the direction of where the voice came from. It sounded like it was right next to her, but she couldn't have believed it until she saw it for herself. Her eyes found the man who had his own on her. She wanted to cry out with happiness considering someone asked if she had remembered seeing them. She had to have seen them before.

The happiness slowly faded and no words came out of her mouth as her eyes searched the man's face. No walls broke down like she had hoped. She had no idea who this man was, though she did see a face on the wall that looked rather similar to his.

"I saw a face like yours in the exhibit," she told him softly with her frown deepening as she kept searching for anything that would trigger her memories. "I-" She cut herself off; growing frustrated with the situation she was in. "Other than that no. Am I supposed to remember seeing you?" She asked.

She had no memories of ever seeing him, her parents or even where she grew up. She only had feelings and the one that stood out the most besides confusion and fear was pain.

---

Happiness and sadness had plagued Steve since his last mission. He thought it was going to be simple to destroy The Winter Soldier and that everything would go back to the way it was. That never happened for him, not from the moment The Winter Soldier's mask had fallen off.

Bucky. His best friend, his brother. He was the man going around the city killing so many innocent. He couldn't kill him, god, he could never kill his best mate who had done so much for him. He would talk to Bucky about everything and anything, but when he had looked into his friend's eyes it was like he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember him and it broke his heart.

The mission had gone from killing The Winter Soldier to trying to get Bucky to remember who he was and to stop what he was doing without killing him. They had managed to destroy the vessels, but he had lost Bucky after his friend had pulled him out of the river.

He was happy that his friend was alive, but sad that he hadn't come back to him as his best mate. Maybe it was going to take time and even more time to find his friend. He hoped that he would come back to him and he had a feeling he would. He would have let him drown if he didn't have an idea about who he was.

Steve was glad that Charlotte had called. His searches for Bucky had lead him down constant dead ends and he was in need of a distraction even if it was for a few hours. He had met the beautiful girl only a few weeks ago when he had gone to see the man who was her grandfather. He had met the man back in the war, he knew him and he knew Bucky as well. He needed to let his friend know that Bucky Barnes was still alive just like they were. They shared stories and laughter for a few hours and it was nice for him just to relive some of the good times.

A smile formed of Steve's face as he walked through the park. His eyes had fallen onto the beautiful, young brunette not too far away. His pace quickened a little and he was about to greet her, but she had gotten to it first.

"I'm okay. There has been a lot going on," he told her as he ran a hand through his short blonde hair. "No, no plans at all. I am happy you called," he told her with a smile. He needed to escape for awhile with someone normal and that was what Charlotte was. She was sweet, down to earth and made it able for him to simply forget everything that was happening. "How are you Charlotte? How's your Grandpa?"

Bucky’s eyes scanned the woman’s face, it was definitely her. He didn’t remember much, but he did remember her. But then she told him that she didn’t recognise him, he was certain that she had seen him at the base. Their eyes had crossed several times, so unless she just had a bad memory or something had happened to her. It wouldn’t surprise him if Hydra had done something to her, he often witnessed agents dragging people through the hallways and into locked rooms.

Maybe she had been one of those people, something about the confusion in her eyes made him want to help her. Even if he was trying to help himself, she needed help from someone and the only other people who knew about her were Hydra.

“Yes ma’am, we have seen each other before.” He told her quietly and took a few steps closer to her, so no one would overhear their words although everyone else seemed to be busy in their own little world. But he couldn’t be too sure and he wouldn’t be letting his guard down any time soon.

“We had been with Hydra at the same time, they are in hiding now but I know they’re still around the city. You need to be careful,” James told her as he watched her beautiful face, he waited to see if anything came to her but she just looked even more confused.

He had asked about her before, why she was at the base and who she was. But no one ever told him anything, she looked so innocent that he was shocked that Hydra went after someone like her. “If you like, we can go outside and talk in private.” James offered as more people were filling into the exhibit and it was becoming noisy, he wanted to help her more than he wanted to help himself right now.

He waited until she nodded her head in agreement before he walked outside with her, thankfully the day was nice so they could sit down somewhere and Bucky could try his best to help her. “We can sit here,” He spoke softly in his deep voice when he spotted a bench was free, it overlooked the street that was busy with people getting from one place to another.

“You don’t remember being with Hydra?” James asked her as he didn’t want to overwhelm her with questions, if she didn’t remember then he understood what she was going through and feeling. It was terrifying not remembering who you are, but he was learning more and more each and every day.

---

Charlotte only knew a little bit of what Steve did, unless it was on the news then she only knew bits and pieces. Either from her Grandpa or people at work, she didn’t want to ask Steve in case he couldn’t talk about it or he didn’t want to talk about it.

“I’ve been good, busy with work. Grandpa is okay, he hasn’t been feeling the best recently so the nurses are keeping an eye on him.” She told the hero, she hated that she couldn’t help her Grandpa. But he was getting older and with that came problems, but she was a doctor and she couldn’t help him.

“I haven’t been able to go see him for a few days, extra shifts at the hospital were thrown onto me.” Charlotte was exhausted from the long stressful hours, but the hospital was often short staffed so she was pretty much always at work. She even took naps at work because she was so busy, but she tried to hide her exhaustion from her family because she didn’t want her Grandpa to worry about her more than he already did.

She had actually been thinking about leaving the hospital and going to work in a doctor clinic, just so she wasn’t constantly stressed or tired. Not that she has mentioned that to anyone yet. “Have you had any luck in finding Bucky?” She asked as she did know about his best friend, she didn’t know everything but she knew Bucky survived like Steve had but left before Steve could help him.

She looked at him and had to stop herself from staring, he was gorgeous and she did admire him for everything that he has done. Back in the war with her Grandpa and now with the Avengers, he really was a hero and she looked up to him.

“I brought lunch for us, if you want to find somewhere to sit and talk?” Charlotte asked as she looked at him, she wasn’t sure if he even wanted to hang out with her. He was Captain America after all, she was just a normal person with a boring life.

He fought criminals and saved lives in a different way than she did, he kept the city safe from attacks and could have any woman that he wanted. She couldn’t give him anything amazing, she knew that so she tried not to get her hopes up or for her to develop feelings for Steve. Although she was already failing at that.

How could he have seen her if she couldn't even remember seeing him? It made no sense to her and in all honesty it scared her. She couldn't run though. She stood frozen in her place with her eyes fixated on him. She wanted to know how he knew her. Maybe he had seen her last night and maybe they had chatted. Maybe he was the one who trashed the apartment she was in. There were so many possibilities on how he knew, but what came out of his mouth next made even less sense.

Hydra. They were at Hydra at the same time. She had no idea what Hydra even was whether it was a city, a building, a group of people. "I-I don't know. I don't remember that. I don't remember you..." She trailed off with the confused look on her face never leaving.

Eleanor bit down on her bottom lip hard. She was trying to process his words, but it wasn't helping like she thought it would. She thought seeing someone who knew her would help her, but she was so wrong. She was even more confused that she had been in the beginning. As he spoke again, her head only nodded quickly in response. She wanted to go outside and be someone quiet. The noise and the people were beginning to overwhelm her.

She followed the man outside; finally taking her eyes away from him to drop her head to look at the ground. She felt crazy for not knowing anything. Sure the alcohol and drugs would have started to wear off by now, but her mind was still completely blank and every time she tried to push past the wall all she could feel was pain and it made her not want to go any further. Maybe that was stopping her. The pain was making her terrified to know what was behind that wall, but at the same time she desperately wanted to know. She wanted to know who she was.

Ella stayed silent as she took a seat on the bench. Her eyes lifted from the ground to watch the people rush past the two of them. No one even turned their eyesight toward them as the rushed from point a to point b. She wandered if she was ever like that. Did she have a job that made her rush around the city? It was just another question she needed to put on her list.

Her eyes finally found the man again. "I don't remember," she admitted. "I don't remember Hydra, I don't remember where I grew up, I don't remember where I live, I don't know anything," she said, her voice quick and desperate for answers. "I woke up this morning and I couldn't remember what happened last night, I didn't know whose trashed apartment I was in and then it slowly sunk in that I don't remember anything about my life."

She didn't know why she had let all of that slip out, but it felt good getting it off her chest. He did know who she was and maybe he would be able to give her some answers to her questions even if they didn't help her to remember. At least she would know. "I'm sorry that I don't know you. What is your name?" She asked softly.

---

Steve admired what Charlotte done for a living. That was one of the things they had in common, the both wanted to save lives. He could see that the hours she had been working were taking a toll on her, they always done the same thing to him. Sure he wasn't a doctor, but he had to fight to make sure no lives were lost.

When he had visited her grandpa, he saw how old age was affecting him. It saddened him to see that his friend was not feeling the best and Steve didn't want to see another one pass away. He wished he could do more, but company was the only thing he could provide. He had a good life though and Steve was glad that he was able to be part of it.

"We should go visit him together sometime soon," Steve suggested. He would like to see her grandpa again before he couldn't. Not many missions were passed on to him lately which he was thankful of. He wanted to focus all his time and energy on finding Bucky and helping him to fully find himself. He hoped that Bucky was slowly remembering and that he would one day soon come to him. A part of him doubted that though and he needed to track him down. "I'm sure you would love to hear some of the stories I am sure your grandpa has not told you," he said with a small laugh. He could clearly remember some of the times he had gotten up to no good.

At the mention of Bucky, his smile faded a little as he shook his head. "Dead ends. Whenever we have a good lead, it ends up going nowhere," he told her. If he was in Bucky's position, he would have run as far and as fast as he could. He had no one controlling him now that Hydra had gone into hiding. They weren't completely gone, but they had simply fallen off the radar. He was sure they would eventually start planning things and attempting to track down Bucky like he was. He was scared as to what would happen if they found him before he did, or anyone else in that matter. Hydra would want him back as their weapon and the rest just wanted his friend dead. He needed to find him first to make sure that never happened. "I just hope I find him soon," he admitted softly.

Lunch sounded perfect right now and so did her company. He did just want to sit and talk to her. He knew more about her than she knew about him. She never asked many questions about his life or his job, but Steve knew that he would tell her everything if she asked. He trusted her, but maybe that was only because he knew who her grandpa was and he had trusted him with his life.

Steve reached a hand out to place on the small of her back. "Let's find someone quiet to sit, eat and talk," he said, smiling at her. He lead her along the path and away from the people until they finally came across a small part where not many people were hanging around.

James listened to what the pretty brunette was telling him, he knew she had been at the Hydra base but she couldn’t remember a single thing. She had either just forgotten everything about herself and her life, or something happened to her and it caused her memories to disappear from her mind. He just wasn’t sure which one it was or how he could determine which one is was, Hydra had taken his memories so they knew how to hurt a person in that way.

“I think my name is James, I’m struggling to remember my life as well.” He told her honestly as he didn’t see the point in lying to her, they were in the same position although he had a few memories come back to him already.

Mostly because of Steve, he had wanted to find him again but he couldn’t bring himself to. He had been given the mission to kill the man and he could have, he could have let the man drown in the water but something inside him didn’t want that.

“You were at Hydra, I do remember seeing. I was never told why you were there, but I can help you find out. If you’d like my help,” He offered himself to her, he knew exactly what she was going through and he never wanted anyone to feel as lost and scared as he had been once.

“I understand how you’re feeling, but I have learnt that it won’t get better unless you face what has happened to you. It will be painful, but I can be beside you through it.” James looked over at her, her big brown eyes were what struck him first. She was so beautiful, but her eyes showed him every single emotion that she was going through.

Fear, confusion, loneliness and pain. Pain that he had once felt not that long ago, the pain that he felt was from him having to relive everything that Hydra put him through. The brainwashing and mind control, all the people that he had killed because Hydra had turned him into a killing machine that they used to get things done.

That still shook him to the bone because he could remember the faces that stared at him before they took their last breath, it haunted James constantly but he was slowly trying to deal with it all. He didn’t have anyone there helping him, but he had Steve to start the memories flowing back into his mind.

This woman clearly didn’t have anyone, or if she did then she couldn’t remember them so how was she meant to find them. “Do you remember your name?” He asked her as it would be harder on them if she didn’t know her name, James hadn’t known his name for years until Steve had told him when they were fighting.

---

Charlotte smiled when Steve suggested that they visit her Grandpa together sometime soon, “I’d really like that and so would Grandpa. He hasn’t stopped talking about you, he always told me stories about you.” She told him smiling as she knew her Grandpa wanted to see Steve again, sadly Charlotte wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be around.

She sighed softly when she heard that he wasn’t having much luck in finding his friend, her Grandpa had been more than surprised when Steve told him that Bucky was alive. Apparently her Grandpa had gotten into trouble with this Bucky guy, which didn’t surprise Charlotte because she knew how he used to be when he was younger.

They were often partners in crime when Charlotte was a little girl, it would always drive her Grandma crazy. “I’ll keep an eye on patients that go through the local hospitals,” She told him as it was really the only way she could help him, she had seen pictures of her Grandpa when he was younger and she had seen one in which he was standing with Captain America and Bucky.

But she wasn’t sure if he looked the same, but she was certain that if she did see him then she would recognise him. “I don’t know if I can do anything else to help you find him,” She did want to help Steve in finding his friend, but she just didn’t know how just yet.

Charlotte smiled when Steve agreed to find somewhere quite to sit so they could eat lunch and talk, she felt the butterflies flutter around in her stomach when his hand found the small of her back. She walked beside him until they found a nice spot in the park that wasn’t as busy as other parts, she stepped over to a large oak tree and sat down in the shade that the tree was casting.

“I just made sandwiches, I hope that’s okay?” She asked as she looked at Steve who sat down on the green grass beside her, she had also made them chocolate chip biscuits for a little sweet treat after they finish their sandwiches.

“So besides not finding Bucky and saving the world, how have you been? Have you made any friends or met any nice girls?” Charlotte asked as she handed Steve the sandwich that she made for him, she had filled the bread with as much as she could as she didn’t actually know what he liked to eat.

Her eyes widened just a little at what came out from his mouth, but she also felt some form of relief. She wasn't the only one struggling to remember who they were, but to her it looked like he remembered a lot more than what she did. She hoped that one day she would reach the same point as him, but it terrified her at the possibility that it wouldn't. What would happen if she was like this for the rest of her life? What if she never remembered who she was?

At the same time it scared her. She was scared that if she remembered she wouldn't like the person she used to be. She didn't know what she had done. She could have done some terrible things and the person she was now wouldn't like that. She felt like she was a good person, but she didn't know that for sure. She wouldn't until she remembered.

A small smile curved on her face as her eyes stayed on him. It made her feel happy that someone had noticed her and wanted to help her find out who she was. She wasn't expecting it. To be honest, she was expecting him to think she was absolutely crazy and not that he was going through the exact same thing. He seemed like a good man, but there was something in his eyes that told her he had done some terrible things; that didn't seem to worry her.

"I'd like that," she told him softly. "It would be nice to have someone help me because I don't know where to start," she added in; letting her eyes drop from him. She clasped her hands together in her lap and let out a soft sigh.

Where would someone like her start? She couldn't even remember last night so she could recount her steps. She had nothing to work off besides her name and she didn't know how that would help her. James may had seen her, but to her it seemed like it had been awhile since he had last seen her.

"How did you start remembering?," she asked him; turning her head once again to look at him. She was curious, not just about how he started to remember, but him in general. She wanted to know everything about him, well, everything that he knew about himself.

Eleanor nodded her head at his question. "Eleanor. Eleanor Kellman. I think that's what it is. I can't even be sure on that now," she said with a sad smile. She hoped that was her name. That was the only thing she remembered when she woke this morning. She would be absolutely devastated if that wasn't actually her name.

---

Steve let out a chuckle. He could picture her grandpa perfectly; chatting away to her telling her stories of what they had gotten up to in the war. He was always one who loved to tell stories even if sometimes he did over exaggerate them. "I hope he told you all the good stories. Not any of those embarrassing ones," he told her with another laugh.

As the conversation moved to Bucky once again, he actually smiled a little. He was grateful that she wanted to help him out anyway she could. He highly doubted that Bucky would end up in a hospital, but anything could happen. If he ever did end up there, he knew Charlotte would call him the moment she knew.

"Thank-you," he said to her softly. Even he didn't really know how he was going to track down Bucky now. He was running out of ideas. "I don't think there is much else anyone can do," he said sadly. Bucky was doing a great job at keeping out of sight and he hadn't left any trails. He hoped that Bucky was okay and safe. He also hoped that he had found someone to help him and that Hydra weren't on his tail. He just wanted his friend safe and well.

A small smile stayed on his face as he kept his hand on her lower back. He did like everything that he had gotten to know about Charlotte and he enjoyed her company more than anyone else's. He was glad that he had met her and it did stop Natasha trying to find a girl for him.

Steve's hand finally dropped from her lower back as they stepped under a large oak tree. He watched as she slowly sat down and not long after joined her on the green grass. He sat close to her and kept his eyes on her.

"That is perfect," he reassured her. He wasn't one for fancy things. Sure he did like to go all out every now and then, but not often. This was just something simple and he loved it.

A soft laugh escaped his lips as he took the sandwich for her. "You know saving the world and trying to find Bucky are the only things I do, right?" He said with a small laugh. He really had not anything else besides that. He had seen Sam a few times here and there, but he was also trying to help him find Bucky. He didn't have that much of a personal life. If he had any down time he spent it in his apartment, but his mind would never shut off. It was far too focused on the Bucky situation. Seeing Charlotte was the only thing that actually stopped his mind, even when they talked about him.

"I've been good though," he told her with a smile. Even with everything going on, he still felt good. "I've met a few good people and I have met some nice girls. Well, one nice girl. She made me a sandwich which tastes really good," he added in before taking a big bite of the food.

"Besides saving lives, how have you been Charlotte?" He asked.

James felt relieved when Eleanor told him that she would really like his help, although he wasn’t sure where they could even start for her. For him it was seeing his friend that triggered his memories to return to him, and that was years after he became the Winter Solider where he never once questioned who he had been or what he had become.

But he knew exactly what Eleanor was going through, it wasn’t that long ago that he was going through that and some days he still did because he wanted to find out more about himself but he would get stuck.

He didn’t want her going through those feelings of lost and frustration any longer than necessary, then she asked him where he had started. He wanted to be honest with her, but at the same time he didn’t want to upset her because he did have a little help from his friend.

“I had a mission, I had found him and were we fighting. Then he looked at me and called me Bucky, I didn’t understand but it was the look in his eyes. He knew me and hadn’t seen me in a very long time, but we had been close. Hydra tried to stop me from remembering him, but he continued to help me and told me my name. I was about to kill him, but there was feeling of sadness in me. Like I would regret it if I did kill him, so I didn’t and after that I’ve remembered a few things.” He explained to Eleanor, although he lowered his voice when he mentioned that his mission had been to kill Captain America.

It was obvious that she had no idea what Hydra was or what they did, but mentioning them and what he did for them could help her in some way. Even though James wasn’t sure what exactly she did while she was at the Hydra base, he knew it wasn’t good and it was even worse as from a result of her being there, she now couldn’t remember anything.

He nodded his head slightly as he looked at her, he hadn’t known her surname. In fact he only knew her first name because he had overheard an agent saying it, “We will start with that. I was told that a library can find records of a person, it wouldn’t hurt to try that first.” He suggested as he hadn’t tried that for himself yet, he was far too scared as he did know he had been a good man before now. He didn’t want to grow to hate himself or be disgusted with himself.

He could track down Steve and let him help, but again he was a different man now and he didn’t want to disappoint his friend. But could Steve help with Eleanor? Surely Steve would know more or know someone who could help Eleanor get her memories back, but he didn’t want to mention it because he wasn’t ready to face his long lost friend just yet.

“There is a library down the road, we can go there and try.” He spoke as he looked at Eleanor, it could help her a lot or it could give her nothing. But it was a start and something they could easily do together, he reached across his body and placed his good hand over her smaller ones as he hoped it would reassure her that things would get better. He wouldn’t stop until things got better for her, she seemed nice to him and he felt like she deserved to know who she was.

---

Charlotte smiled at him, “He did mention a few embarrassing stories. Mostly of you,” She teased him as she was only joking, her Grandpa usually stuck to the good stories that he had with his mates. He never brought up any bad stories, because he relived those horrible times in his mind so he didn’t want to talk about it to anyone.

She could see the disappointment on Steve’s strong features, he was disappointed in himself that he was still struggling to find Bucky. She knew that she was probably the last person that would ever come across his friend, but if there was anything that she could do then she would do it in a heartbeat. Not only for Steve, but for her Grandpa as well. He would expect her to help find his friend and that is what she’d do, if she had a clue on how to help.

“You’ll find him, Steve. Maybe he just needs some time, if he doesn’t remember who he used to be then it would be hard to suddenly have memories came back.” She assured him the best that she could, Bucky probably did just need some time but she understood why Steve was worried. She didn’t know much about Hydra, but her Grandpa had told her that they were horrible people who seek control over the innocent and will kill people to get control.

Charlotte would quickly admit to herself that having Steve’s hand rest on her lower back was nice, it was incredibly nice. She had gone on a few dates here and there, but it was usually with men that she worked with or knew through work. She never really went out to a club or a bar because that wasn’t something she found interesting or fun, she also knew that she didn’t want to date a man who had a similar career as her own.

She knew the long hours and the short notice calls that asked if she could fill in a shift, she didn’t want to be with someone who she would hardly ever see. It was something that her Grandpa worried about, even though he taught her that she never had to rely on a man.

Charlotte smiled as she listened to Steve, he was busy trying to save the world and find Bucky all at the same time. But that he was still good in the way his life was going, a soft pink blush tinted her cheeks when he commented on having met a nice girl. “Oh, so you let all the nice girls make you sandwiches.” She teased him as she was only joking, she liked that he was in her life now even if she still couldn’t believe it sometimes. She knew Captain America.

But then he asked about her and she couldn’t help but let out a deep sign, “I don’t even know. Like you, I haven’t had much time to have a personal life. Work is exhausting, I mean I didn’t get into medicine so I could be exhausted and have to pick up shifts where I can only sleep for a few hours before going back into work. Then there’s the abuse from people who are intoxicated or on drugs, I feel like there’s more for me out there.” Charlotte blurted out as it was something that has been weighing her down for months now, she hadn’t really talked to anyone about it either.

“But I’m scared to leave my job, I don’t know what else I could do.” She admitted to Steve, she wanted the long hours at the hospital to stop because she knew one day she’d be so tired that she’d make a mistake and she’d lose a patient. Just because she had to fill someone else’s shift and work hers afterwards. It did feel nice to get it off her chest though, to let another person know what she was going through and hopefully get some advice.

She didn’t want to come across like she was complaining, she wasn’t because she knew how amazing her career was. She had worked so hard to be where she was today, which was another reason why she was scared to leave the hospital and do something else.

Eleanor's brows furrowed as he spoke about how his memories began to resurface. It wasn't because he had a mission to kill the man who had helped him, she was thinking more about herself. She wondered if she was close enough to someone that if she ran into them that feelings and memories like that would come back to her. She also wondered if she had done the same thing as him if she was with Hydra. Did she ever have missions to kill people? She was glad however. She was happy that he had found someone who sparked his memories. She hoped that it would happen to her as well. It had to, she hoped. She didn't know what she would do if she never remembered.

A soft sigh escaped her lips at her thoughts. She was hating every passing second without her memories. The good and the bad, she wanted to know everything. She wanted to know what kind of person she was.

At the mention of the library able to find records of a person; it sparked hope inside of her. She actually couldn't remember what hope had felt like until now. She had been so consumed by her fear, sadness and every other negative emotion running through her body.

The mere thought of there might be a record on her made her feel happy. There were what ifs running through her mind, but she was hoping for the best outcome. She wanted there to be something on here. She just wanted to find something out whether it was her date of birth or even where she was born, as long as it was something no matter how small it was. If there was something she knew there would be more out there that could help her remember.

Her frown lifted and a smile appeared on her face as she nodded her head. It was a good place to start and deep down she did have a good feeling about it. Sure she knew she shouldn't get her hopes up just incase it was a dead end, but she didn't want to think like that. She had spent most of her day giving up hope and now that she had someone helping her she didn't want to give up again.

Her eyes followed his hand as he reached it over to her and placed it on top of her own. She couldn't help but to stare at it. She never one jerked away or even moved in general because there was something about his touch that seemed almost familiar in some way and she wasn't sure how. She was sure that she didn't know him even though he could remember seeing her at the Hydra base.

His touch made her hope even more alive and that things could only get better. It was confusing to her about how just once small touch seemed familiar, but maybe she did know him at Hydra or maybe it was just someone who was like him that she once knew. A part of her hoped it was him, but no memories sprung to her mind.

Her hand turned and curled around his as she stood slowly up from the bench. "Let's go to the library and hope for the best," she said to him with her smile growing again. She tried to shake the thoughts of the familiar touch from her mind as she helped him up from the bench and began to make their way to the library, but they wouldn't leave.

"Do you remember if we ever spoke or anything at Hydra?" She asked him softly after awhile of silence. Maybe there was more to their story at Hydra than what he had told her, but she did doubt that.

---

Steve let out a chuckle. "If he tries to tell you anymore while I'm there, I'll tell you some of the embarrassing stories about him," he told her with a wide grin. Those were the stories he liked sharing. He never really wanted to bring up the bad stories because those were the stories where he had lost people. He knew if Charlotte ever asked him about the bad times he would still tell her, he did tell her about Bucky.

There was something about Charlotte that just made him tell her everything; the good and the bad. He knew a big part of it was because he trusted her and trust was hard to find these days. He was glad he had found someone like her and was able to tell her almost everything. It was nice having someone to talk to and getting a few things off of his shoulders.

Steve smiled at her and nodded his head before he looked away. She was right. He could understand that Bucky would need some time to come to terms with what he was remembering. It would have been hard not knowing who he was and then having it coming back. He did just hope his friend would come to him sooner rather than later.

"I just want to find him first," he admitted. "I can't let someone else get to him. There are so many people who are after him especially after what's happened. There are people who want him dead and I am sure there are people who want him to be back to what he was. I can't let that happen." He wanted his best friend back in his life even if he knew that he was not the same man he knew back during the war, but neither was he in some way.

Talking about Bucky to Charlotte was almost refreshing because she wasn't judging this friend like everyone else would. They had only ever seen the bad that Bucky could do; the didn't know him like he did. Sure Charlotte had heard the bad, but she had also heard what Bucky was like before Hydra had gotten to him. It was nice having someone on his side.

"I might have to take back the comment about you being a nice girl," he joked. Steve's smile soon faded a little as she began to talk about her work. Everything she hated about it came spilling out so quickly. He could see how much it was weighing her down and tiring her out. He agreed that there was a lot more out there for her and he wanted to help her as much as he could.

"You are such and incredible and intelligent woman," Steve began with his smile rising back on his face. "You could do anything you wanted to do. All you have to do is start looking."

He understood where she was coming from. There were days where we wanted nothing more than to hand his shield up and do something he wanted to do like settle down and start a family. Sure, he enjoyed saving the world and keeping threats away from the innocent, but it wore him out. Then there was the part of not knowing who he would be if he stepped away from it all. Could he ever step away from it all? Was there more to him than just being Captain America?

"What would you like to do if you left?" He asked her.

Once Eleanor agreed to go to the library with him, he stood up after she did and glanced down at their hands. She had turned her hand and wrapped her warm fingers around his palm, he hadn’t been touched that simply for the longest time.

In fact he couldn’t remember the last time that he had been touched, and it wasn’t because of the brainwashing. No, it was because he had only ever been pushed and shoved around or out in the world fighting.

It felt really nice to hold her hand, a feeling that he hadn’t had in a very long time but he did hope and he did want to continue feeling like this. He begun to lead Eleanor down the steps as he listened to her question, had they spoken while in the Hydra base?

He actually wasn’t sure about that, he didn’t want to give her false hope either so he knew he had to be completely honest with her. “I’m not sure actually, if we did speak then it wasn’t often nor for very long. I do remember seeing you, you would be taken past my room by four agents. You always had four agents helping you past, I always thought you had been training and were tired.” He told her honestly, that is all he could remember of her right now.

More could come up if something trigged more memories from him, or nothing could come up if those were the only times that he did see her.

Walking along the busy street, people didn’t seem to bother them. James wasn’t sure why but people seemed to be moving around them, when normally he would be the one who moved aside to let other people past.

He didn’t know the reason for this but he liked it, just because he wasn’t in a rush to get somewhere didn’t mean he enjoyed having people bump into him constantly. And with his metal arm, he did have to be careful of anyone who did get close to that side of him as he didn’t want to hurt them.

The rest of the walk to the library was pretty silent, mostly because James wanted to give Eleanor time to take in her surroundings. He held the library door open for her and stepped inside behind her, “This way.” He spoke quietly so he wouldn’t annoy anyone, he guided her over to the section where he had been himself not that long ago.

There was a long wooden table with numerous computers sitting on top, against the back wall were metal drawers which held old newspapers and magazines.

He sat down at a computer and pulled a chair over beside him, so Eleanor could sit down as well. “I don’t know how this machine knows so much, but it does so maybe it could bring up something about you.” He told him as he was still confused over how a machine so small could know so much, using his good hand he pressed the keys that spelt her name and although he was slow at it he still did it and clicked on the search button.

After a little wait an article appeared on the screen, causing him to frown as it was a very old article. Much like the few he had found on himself, when he came searching for anything about him.

“You were in the war and went missing…” He mumbled softly to himself mostly as he read what the article said, it was mostly about the war and the soldiers who had died. But at the very end there were a few sentences about a female soldier called Eleanor Kellman, who was never found after that night.

---

Charlotte was certain that Steve had many embarrassing stories about her Grandpa, stories that she wouldn’t say no to hearing. Not only would it give her something to use against her Grandpa, but also because she knew it helped Steve. She looked at him as she ate her sandwich and listened to what he was telling her, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be on the run from so many powerful and evil people.

“And you will find him before anyone else does, I’m sure that you’ll stop him from being turned back into the man he was forced to become.” Charlotte assured him the best she could, she even reached her hand out and placed it on his forearm. Giving his arm a gentle squeeze to comfort him, he had told her about the Bucky he knew growing up and the monster that Hydra had turned him into being.

Many would be scared of someone like that, but Charlotte wasn’t as it wasn’t Bucky’s fault. That is all he knew because Hydra made it that way for him, but now that he was free from them it was important for Steve to find him. Just so no one else would, Hydra would either take him back or kill him. Neither of which she ever wanted to happen, as he would have gone through more than enough.

“It’s too late to take back that comment, I already heard you say it and I’m not letting you take it back.” Charlotte smiled at him because opening up to him about her work, she knew she couldn’t stay for much longer or she was going to have a break down and she didn’t want to put herself through that.

“I honestly don’t know, I mean I’ve thought about applying to small doctor clinics. So I wouldn’t have the stress of being in emergencies or being in that many surgeries, other than that I don’t know what I’d do.” She told him as she still wanted to help people, but she didn’t want to have that much stress in her life. It was beginning to affect her health and her life, she wasn’t dating or meeting people and she would lose sleep over work.

“I have talked to my boss about this, but he just kept saying that there aren’t many doctors like me or as good as I am. So I felt bad about asking for time off,” Charlotte removed her hand from his arm, as she finally realised that she hadn’t yet. It did feel nice though, she could admit that and she wouldn’t mind having contact with him again. Though she ignored those thoughts.