Confess on My Wayward Son

when you call to see if you have jury duty tomorrow to find out it has been canceled!!! that just made my day.

FINALLY.

I'm tired of feeling anxious almost all the time.
And I'm really damn tired of this anxious feeling that I'm wasting my entire life away and will never amount to anything or reach my goals or whatever. I'm just filled with existential dread so much of the time, and I don't know what I can really do for it. Just like I don't know what to do for any of my anxiety at this point. I guess I'm just going through one of those phases where it is especially bad and there isn't much I can do for it.

I find it almost or close to ironic that you were lecturing us (mostly him tho) when for years I've stressed myself out in trying to get you to realize that you've been letting him get away with his misbehavior for years with the following as your excuses:
-he's just a kid
-he's don't know any better
-if I get onto the him for every single thing (anything) he'll hate me
-i don't want to be mean like grandma
-sometimes his dad is too hard on him when he's punishing him
-he's the only son my husband will ever have.

Tbh I already know I'm fucking lazy. I've come to terms with that. The only reason I was trying not to snicker and laugh was the fact that you and his dad are now officially realizing that he has an attitude problem but I highly doubt anything you do or say to him will do any good because you've enabled him to develop that "spoiled bratty" attitude and his dad won't do anything other than bitch about it then just do a quick solution: say it's fine and ignore the problem.

Before you address any problems with me, you need to focus on fixing 17years worth of problems you and your husband caused with him by never giving him any consequences.

My entire existence doesn't revolve Around the internet. My existence revolves around my family and what they do because it's a kids family, especially the parents, who gives the kids the first lessons on how to live, how to act with the world, and how to mature into an adult. And then comes the teachers who help the parents Foster these human actions, emotions, and Characteristics, etc and if the kid doesn't turn out right or does something wrong, it's not up to the teachers or the kids' peers to correct the behaviour, it's the parents' job.

But sadly 17 years worth of enabling bad behavior can't be fixed, not with how you two handle things.

My husband is currently in an interview for a job that could very well make his entire career choice and $50,000 of student loans worth it. I'm nervous for him.

-

I'm really gonna try to make you smitten with me lol. Let's see if it works.

@ Divided
Thank you so much! He said the interview went very well but that this guy still has two more to conduct (one of which is sounding like he might be a no-show), so, here's hoping!

---

All I really want to do today is watch a marathon of LoTR and make wedding centerpieces but instead of I have to go to work. So typical.

---

Or a marathon of Scooby Doo. Either one.

I've been slaving my ass off all day trying to get the room tidy and she's done nothing. She's literally sat on her phone for hours and watched me clear up the room that's partway hers. I don't even feel bad for grassing her in to my mum. I'm sick of being portrayed as the one that does fuck all around the house when she gets all the praise because she wipes a fucking worktop once a day.

Marathon of Scooby-Doo it is!

---

If I'm honest half of the entire reason I resonate so well with the MCU's Guardians is because of how much they remind me of my childhood: 60s and 70s and doowop and soft rock and thrift store shopping on Sundays and appreciating "The artists that no one even knew of back then, Sarah". Elvin Bishop, Sweet, the Five Stairsteps. The look on my face when the first movie opened with Come and Get Your Love must have been a sight to see: it was love and excitement that such an obscure song (of today) was used in a modern movie!

---

Side note: why are there fireworks going off?

I see lots of trouble for him when he turns, not 18, but turns 21. Oooh yeah, I do. His attitude, his actions, he thinks no one's watching and they think he's not going to be too bad and that it affects no one, but it does. For every action, there is a consequence. Just like i said to some of my relatives about Trump, he may think no one's actually paying close attention or that anyone's watching him, but in actuality, there's at least one person who is watching. Maybe not all the time, but someone's paying attention and watching the kid's actions.

I can't wait until tomorrow night.
Being away from my boyfriend for so long fucking sucks. It's killing my confidence and interests. I can't seem to do anything now that he's not living here because it just feels like 'whats the point? Who cares anyway'. I havent been this depressed in a long time.

I don't really want to go see my mom today but I know she needs me because of separation anxiety with me so away I go I guess.

-

just wtf microsoft? This update and rolling back my computer has wasted like three hours of my life.... maybe four.

all the things you're saying are only making me want to sleep with you less not more

Three. no four hours of my life wasted, installing this new update, then looking up the problems to the bugs and then uninstalling it. Microsoft, why? Why?

-

Gee, thanks for undermining the conditions of hundreds of millions of people and discrediting years of research into mental health, by boiling it down to weakness. Thanks for making me feel like all the work I did to get better was a waste of time. Thanks for basically telling me I'm an idiot for ever 'letting' myself develop depression, because of course it's all my own fault. Thank you for telling me the 'Gods honest truth' about all this, I thought mental illness was real and awful and needed support, but you've opened my eyes and made me realise we're all weak idiots because we can't solve our own problems.

No wonder your son buries all of this and feels so disgusted with himself when he's sad. You did this to him with your narrow views and your inability to accept scientific and medical proof that these conditions do exist and do kill people without help and support.

I'm a lot prouder about my credit line and the company that it's through than I should be. But Discover is accepted everywhere and is sort of hard to get a decent line with. I know literally no one my age with a Discover card and it isn't for lack of trying. But at 22 not many people have a 780 credit score, either.