Confess on My Wayward Son

my boyfriend is so lucky i love him. I am dead tired but instead doing laundry so he can have clean clothes for tomorrow.

When does the heartbreak go away? How do you make it okay? This whole 'fake it until you make it' thing is starting to wear me down. I want him back. I want to take everything back. I want him to hold me in his arms again. God, why can't he see how much I need him?

Ala, kalau kau ikhlas kau tak ungkit la. Menyampah pulak aku tengok kau. Macam aku kisah apa kau buat.

It sort of hurts but what's worse is the headache: I need a cup of coffee.

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IT IS OFFICIAL: I have finally been called out on tumblr for my ships. Ohhhh man. But being the bigger person so often includes ignoring the disdained. I could easily give a history lesson on said ship or point out all the semantics behind it. But chances are. Are. That someone just doesn't know the real story lines and that ranting about them wouldn't solve anything. While justice weighs that one should be taught in order to bring them out of the dank must of ignorance history weighs that online trolls should just be let alone to do their thing. I'd love to change the world but this isn't the way to do it.

Someone drag me out of YouTube before I become addicted to Markiplier and Jacksepticeye again.

@ The God of Mischief.
Holy crap. You've done it. THE INTERNET IS YOURS.
if you wanna share the comment with me + proceed to dismantle it, feel free. c; <3

@ papa emeritus.
I'll leave it at: "You're shipping BROTHERS, freak" and you can envision the lesson.

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I just want to be Dick, is that cool? I think it's cool. If it weren't for the current problem at hand I'd totally end up in a dissociative state again tonight and you know what? Once this is off of my hands I probably will go a good month or two or three in one because doesn't stuff like this build up? "Merry Christmas, Sarah"...Who's Sarah?

I'm so sleepy and my ear hurts but it feels a bit better. Just gotta try and find a way to get rid of the ear ache.

@ The God of Mischief.
brother love is hot, let it go fam.
ppl needa get on our level of enlightenment.
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I want to write but I have so much zquil inside me and I walked asleep in the grocery market.
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I'm not even hurt by your abuse. I want to put it where I can see it everyday. So I don't fool myself again.

I've been meaning to make a proper comeback a lot of the times but I don't know where to start or how.

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So tempted to write about racism and sexism at the work place but... is that smart? I don't know.

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I just feel so incompetent all the time and how am I, a fresh out of training engineer going to be able to walk in the shoes of a senior engineer who already has more that 5-6 years of experience in the field?! I feel so stupid and useless and clueless ALL the freaking time.

I have been reported 999999 times on Vent for my opinions on otherkin. all of which is my fault for being an asshole.
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I used to be very obsessed with this idea of everything having a home.
That's why I love my job so much, because it's putting books back in their home.
It's why I used to collect trinkets and set them up in my room/dorm, making them cozy.
But it was all sort of founded on this idea of you are the slot I call home and I'm there.
Now you're not my home. You're toxic backwash. And I feel sad in my place.

@ papa emeritus.
I mean I'd feel worse if they were literal brothers but social construcT's are entirely translucent.

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I really want buffalo wings. Like to a point that I'd kick a child for some. And then I want to nap. And then I want to write. And yet, here I am, stuck at work.

Funny how you have the power to scare me after so long. || Woke up at 04:07 wanting vinegar, fuck sake, this is getting worst. || Writing Harry Potter fan-fic is so much easier because I can use British slang and I don't have to learn Americanisms || Why do you think the earth revolves around you? Nobody is obligated to like you or be polite to you.

Uninstalling Twitter because I need a detox from all the toxicity around. Too many people are triggered over the random-est things. It's getting tiring. I give myself a week. And when I get back, I'll be on unfollowing spree.

Me in 2012, watching The Dark Knight Rises: "Wow look it's my favorite football team! Big Ben, Ward, they let the whole team into the movie!! I don't feel like Hathaway makes a very good Catwoman other than her looks..."

Me in 2017, watching The Dark Knight Rises: "Why does the Commissioner have a PIC line, are they implying that he stroked?! And why did they even TRY to impose Grayson onto this weird Blake character?"


**still a diehard Steelers fan.

Not going to let anything bother me. Just gonna sit here and play a game until her stream starts. Yep. That's all.

I feel like I'm sitting in a limbo right now. I'm just really tired right now.

Tired of being a nice person. Lol.

I have no idea what made me think that drinking until I threw up was a good idea. Not doing that again that's for sure

sometimes I forget how beautiful, philosophical, and intellectual of a soul papa iii is until I watch him dress up like a nameless ghoul for interviews (his voice & eyes always give that sly mfkr away) and lets himself speak on all areas of the experience of life. on stage, his character is a beastly seducer, and while I'd have hot sex with that character any day, I'd much rather have a long discussion with the man himself because I feel the experience would be religious.