Confess on My Wayward Son

I'm having one of those times... where I feel like nothing I do is good enough and my world feels as though it's slowly crumbling around me.

I would join the Military again, as long as they promised to take me to Basic Training right then and there, just to get away from my family. That’s how much I’m done with family right now. My mom, my siblings, my aunt, my cousins, my great grandparents, etc. I don’t want to get blown up to bits or PTSD...but man...I’m so flipping done with family. I got what I wished for and i want to take it back. I’m tired of family. But then if I were to go back into the Military, I’d have to deal with their crap, too. It’s a double edged sword. But I need an OUT. I’m so desparate to change my living situation

I'm determined not to write too many flipping stories. I need to tame these plot bunnies... Not too much of a confession but oh well.

I hope everyone in this thread had a great thanksgiving!

If there is any species out there that should go extinct, it's the flea. Fuck the flea, horrible creatures. Itchy, near impossible to get rid of once they're in, and potentially deadly. I will extinct them from my house, I will. If it means she can't go outside anymore, then so be it. Better miserable than an allergic reaction and a skin infection. God I hate them, irritating monsters.

Sexuality is a spectrum, for example, when I see Prudence Night my sexuality dial goes SKRRRT.

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If I knew how bad birth control would mess up my body, i wouldn't have bothered getting on it. i just want to have a sex life, but i'm apparently too busy bleeding to do anything. fuck man, i'm over it.

i get all mushy inside when he writes essays upon essays to me about things he nerds out over, like rn, the lander on Mars that's arriving today. like it's so CUTE

I feel like I'm at a crossroads with what I should do. It's only just come back to the surface - and I've made a little progress in the last twelve months, would it be a smart move to push it back down and repress it, running the risk of ruining everything but "forgetting" about it? Idfk, man. This is difficult.

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i failed my a&p ii midterm; i studied so hard for it, maybe a little too hard. i still have a high enough grade in the class, so it doesn't really make a difference, but man, this ruined my self-esteem.

@ alexander bernadotte
Hey, you dont have to be the best at everything in the field, and everyone has their weaknesses and mistakes. You're doing great, I promise! I know several student peers who did lack luster in A&P or even JUST on tests in general (because test anxiety is a raging bitch) and they're making out to be fine nurses. You will, too.

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At age 23 I've just become the matriarch of my family....I dont think I'm adulty enough for this. At the very least I dont want to be adulty enough for this....

@ alexander bernadotte
I almost failed both of my A&P classes and it hasn't affected my ability to take care of my patients. I know it sucks to fail something but you got this

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I ran the emergency department the other day. We went on lockdown and had a cardiac, respiratory distress, overdose, pelvic fracture, unidentified syncope and kidney infection in our small ass hospital. There was only 3 nurses, one doctor (who had to call another one in) and I was terrified the whole time but I did it and I still almost can't believe it.

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I'm scared to lose you. I know it's kind of a ridiculous fear, but you don't acknowledge me right away or don't talk to me for a while, I think oh, it's happening and I hate that.

Putting the debate on BBC is a stupid idea and you know it, you just don't want the country to watch you try to defend your garbage deal on TV and fail miserably. I hope you get voted down and this all gets turned around and forgotten about like some bad dream.

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All Stars 4 can't come fast enough. I hope I can watch it at least almost live, I want to gossip with my drag loving sisters. Absolutely Team Latrice.

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Look, if I'm getting sick can we stop fannying around feeling tired and shit, and just make me ill so I can get over it? A constant headache with these arsehole neighbours in this garbage town is how insanity happens.

It's frustrating me so much that I can't get my head around this one thing. Vocab? Not an issue. Pronunciation? Getting on pretty well, considering. But cases? Been studying them for literal months and I still don't understand them, nor when you're meant to use each one within a sentence. It was the one thing I did miserably on in my last assessment and I'm still no further forward into getting used to where to use them. I've got the endings memorised, and I know how to use those but honestly, knowing where to use them is frying my brain.

I always think I'm doing so well and then those stupid cases come up and then I'm back to square one feeling like I'm never going to get anywhere. Fuck grammar, man.

Apparently I'm not good enough here which is good to know I guess. At least I'm consistent in all parts of my life. I'm so tired of working my ass off but still not being good enough at anything.

I really am not looking forward to work tomorrow because I do not want us to stop interacting the way we usually do.

If you would have told me that in three months tomorrow would happen....I would have fought you.

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I just want them back. I just want to be 12 again.

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If i don't fight the intrusive thoughts of missing them then I'll never actually heal.

I'm exhausted. Too many people for too long. Blah blah whinge whinge I'm never happy.

I hate when guys compliment you AS THEY ARE BREAKING UP WITH YOU