Even If You Can't Hear My Voice, I'll Be Right Beside You

Bucky thought that protecting Ari was worth his memories getting wiped again, but she did make a lot of good points. He knew that if he did forget her and the time they have spent together, then it would hurt her and he didn’t want that. It would take a lot to take down HYDRA, it needed one big hit to the core to bring it all down and that would take time and planning. If his mind got wiped before he could do anything, then it would have all been for nothing.
But if he didn’t take out his revenge for Ari, then he could keep the memories they have made together. He would remember her and could spend more time with her, which is what he did want and clearly she wanted that as well. “But…” He started but stopped when he felt her arms wrap around him, her head resting into his neck. “I’ll let it go for now,” He told her quietly as he held onto her hand, his metal hand moved to rest on her waist. Nowhere near the tattoo so he didn’t cause her anymore pain or soreness.
“You’re one stubborn little miss,” He whispered as he rested the side of his head against her head, “They will still pay for this. I’ll make sure of it,” Bucky wouldn’t let this go completely, well hopefully he wouldn’t forget about it because he did want to make HYDRA pay for all the pain they inflicted on him and on Ari. He’ll write himself a note so in case his mind did get wiped, he would still know that if he wrote it down and found it once he couldn’t remember then it had to be important to him at one stage. “You need to get more rest, you’ve been through a lot.” He whispered to her, he didn’t really want her to sleep as he liked talking to her. But she was probably still tired and he also needed some sleep himself, but he just didn’t want to because it wasted time that could be spent with her.

---

Grace had made herself busy for the day doing different things and she even talked to other agents when they had the time, she had dinner but she hadn’t seen Steve since that morning and it did worry her slightly. But she hadn’t seen anyone leave the base, so he had to be somewhere around the building. She was heading back to her room to relax when Natasha walked past her and whispered a message to her, Grace froze as she looked over her shoulder and watched as Natasha kept walking along the hallway.
It didn’t take her long before she was rushing towards the front door of the base, pushing her way through and out into the evening air. Heading towards where the bridge was, she rushed but ended up jogging over to where she found Steve standing. “Steve,” She breathed out when she saw he was physically alright, once she reached his side her hand instantly rested on his back. Before moving up and down his spine to comfort him, “What happened?” She asked him softly hoping that he was able to tell her, there had been times when he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about a mission.
Her eyes held so much concern for him, she listened as he told her that there would be a mission tomorrow and that Bucky might be there. Grace wasn’t sure if he couldn’t tell her anymore, or he was saving the details so she wouldn’t worry more about him. “Okay… well for right now there isn’t much you can do. This was bound to happen, Steve. All you can do tomorrow is focus on the mission, if Bucky is there then it’ll be another chance you get to try and get through to him.” She didn’t know what else to tell him, he needed to get the mission finished but if his friend was there then Steve could try to talk to him but the mission was sadly more important.
“Try not to worry about it, alright? All you’ll do is stress yourself out,” Grace stood close to him, her hand was still rubbing his back as her other hand wrapped around his bicep (or as much as she could hold onto). Leaning forward she rested her cheek on his shoulder, her eyes looking up at him as she tried to work out what he was thinking. There really wasn’t anything else that he could do, not until tomorrow came around.

Ari didn’t want him to speak anymore. His ‘but’ was cut off with her hug and she was fine with that. She didn’t want to know anything. Stubborn? Her? Of course. Though mostly she preferred the term ambitious, but each to his own and each to its context.
“And you…” She trailed off, but she couldn’t come up with anything. Not yet. One day, she’d get him back on that one but right now her brain was too tired for anything. She smiled a little into his neck.
She was starting to get sleepy, she could feel her eyelids start to droop, her vision fade in and out. It was nice again in his arms, all warm and soft, even though most of the muscle beneath that she felt wasn’t exactly pillow soft. That was still okay with her. She made herself a little more comfortable, having migrated to his lap now. She kept her head buried in the crook of his neck, shaking her head a little when he said she should sleep.
“Ssh,” she mumbled, wanting to enjoy the small time they had together again. Though he was right. She was almost seeing her second dreams. Her embrace would occasionally weaken and then tighten again. Eventually, Ari pulled back a bit and looked at him. She ran her gaze over his clear eyes, his cheekbones, and his jaw before finally resting on his lips. She took a small breath, parting her lips a little unaware. It would be nice, and it was tempting. All she had to do was lean in and-
“Goodnight, Barnes.” She whispered and smiled a little, before sliding off his lap and heading for the door. Her hand hesitated over the door handle. She tried to decide whether it was best to tell him or not. She decided to go for it. Her hand dropped away and she looked at the handle instead. "I heard you have a mission... tomorrow." She paused and peered at him in the dim light. "Remember what I told you, there's someone out there who cares for you." She rubbed her wrists, some bad habit she got into when she was nervous. "Stay safe. Come back. Please?" She smiled, unsure.

---

Steve glanced over when he heard Grace call his name. He watched her approach, then glanced out at the city in the distance again. He retold her what was on his mind, not so much the mission but so much more that Bucky would be there tomorrow. He let his emotions turn to words and they spilled all over.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I just… I saw him and he didn’t even recognise me. He’s strong. Caught, threw, and blocked my shield like it was nothing. I just don’t see how I can get him. He’s always with HYDRA people…” He paused and then realised that someone else would be there too. Luka. Steve didn’t want Grace to be around to see that. In fact, he didn’t want her to be around there at that time to see any of it. It would be dangerous, she could get hurt.
Steve looked over at Grace, watching her expression. “Stay at the base here unless Fury calls you… okay?” He took her hand and looked down at her. “Please, promise me. It won’t be safe there.” He hugged her and held her for a moment, letting them both watch the sunset.
“Come,” he said after a while, “The stars will come out soon.” He took her hand and lead her towards the hidden trail again, easily making his way through the darkening forest until they were at the lakes again. The clearing had enough space in the tree tops to show the sky without the city lights. He lay down on the grass and looked up, glancing over at Grace. He gave her a grin, “I’m not getting in the water. You shouldn’t either. You’ll get sick.” He patted the spot beside him for her to join.

He was shushed, he was actually told to hush and be quiet. If that came from anyone else, he wouldn’t have let it slide and think it was cute. No, he would have sent his fist flying but Ari was making herself comfortable on his lap and suddenly he couldn’t think of anything else. She was so close to him now, her small body fitted so well against his but he didn’t know what to do in this situation. So he did what he thought was the right thing, he wrapped both his arms around her body and held her securely.
He looked down at her when she shifted, her eyes were half closed and she just looked exhausted. He watched as her pretty eyes scanned over his face before she climbed off his lap and off his bed, he stood and watched as she walked over to the door of his room. “I’ll come back,” He told her although it wasn’t something that he could promise her, he knew what his mission was but he couldn’t be positive that he would survive it. He had been told that his last mission would most likely be there, if seen then Bucky would also have to finish that mission off as well.
“Keep yourself safe,” He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, this man he had fought before was strong and had a metal shield that he only barely stayed standing when he caught it. Mostly due to his metal arm which was stronger than his normal arm, this man was highly trained and moved quickly even with the size that he was. It was going to be a tough fight tomorrow, but he didn’t want to tell Ari that as it would just make her worry.
He took a few steps closer to her and looked at her, “Did you need me to walk you to your room? You might fall asleep on the way,” He grinned as he made a joke, he was trying to make her forget about the mission he had tomorrow even if it was for a few minutes.

---

Grace could clearly see why Steve was worried over this, but she believed in him. “You’ll find a way, I know you will. If you get the chance, talk to him. Tell him things that only he would know, the old him would know and maybe it will help him.” She suggested to him before he took her into his arms and she leaned against him, looking out at the view of the city they had on the bridge. The lights were being to be turned on and the buildings shone as the sun started to set, she was glad she wasn’t among that like she would normally be.
“I promise to stay here, besides what else would I do there? Worry over you, get in everyone’s way, probably get myself hurt.” She smiled up at him as she hadn’t planned on leaving the base, not until Fury needed her and by the sounds of it tomorrow was going to be hard on everyone. She might be needed after it all finished and people needed a doctor to care for them, she knew if she did go when there was still fighting. She would be in the wrong place at the wrong time and she would get hurt, she wasn’t an agent so she didn’t know how to dodge bullets or defend herself against another agent. She would be hopeless and she knew that.
She held onto his hand and followed him along the path to the lakes, she did move slower than Steve as she didn’t want to trip as it was getting darker and harder for her to see. “The water would be too cold now, although I would if it meant you’d undress for me.” Grace laughed as she laid down on the grass beside Steve, moving her body to cuddle into his side so she would be comfortable and would keep herself warm. She didn’t have time to grab a jacket, once Natasha told her that Steve needed her.
She just went to find him, she also wanted to rest her head on his chest and she did so. She smiled hearing his steady heartbeat, “It’s so beautiful out here.” She whispered as she stared up at the darking sky, pink and orange hues still covered the sky but the darkness was beginning to creep up. The stars wouldn’t take much longer to appear, she hoped she would get to do this more often after tomorrow. She was worried about Steve going off tomorrow, even if he was Captain America and knew how to keep himself alive. There was always that nagging thought in the back of her head, she tried not to think about that but it was still always there. “You better come back to me safely,” She told him and she did feel like warning him, so hopefully he would be more careful but she knew if Bucky was involved he wouldn’t be that careful.

Ari felt dread rise and somehow, even though he said he would, she felt scared again. What if he didn’t? He came back from small missions sure no problem but what if not this time? What if he was injured badly? Caught? She could access him in HYDRA and make it easier for him but if SHIELD got their paws on him… Would he be safer there or here? She smiled but it was weak, “I’m going to be at the base. What could possibly happen here?” It was hidden, it was well protected. In any case, there was always the road to run away and hopefully SHIELD wouldn’t find them.
She pushed the thoughts out of her mind. No need to get so worried all about it. Maybe it wouldn’t be bad. He’d just do this thing and come back.
Looking up at Barnes as he stepped closer, Ari sighed softly catching the grin on his lips. She relaxed and smiled back, taking his hand and giving it a light squeeze before dropping it. As much as she would have wanted, she couldn’t hold his hand in corridors. That was just risky. “Sure. As long as you promise to catch me before I hit the ground.” She laughed softly, then quietened and listened for the corridor. No sounds. She opened the door and slipped out, staying as quiet as she possibly could but knowing she was no sneaky agent and she would still make some noise for the trained ear to hear. She tried to walk normally so if anyone did see her, they wouldn’t find it too suspicious – she could just say she was leaving from the infirmary or whatever after being passed out from the lab’s events.
She only worried how close Barnes would be. If they were caught together, especially after he said that he didn’t knock her out – that could raise suspicion… She worried.
But nobody was in the hallways. Everything was fine. They reached her room all too soon, and she opened the door. “Thank you,” She whispered, and was about to bid him a good night when she heard tired voices and steps of other workers like her, probably heading back to bed after the events. She grabbed Barnes’ arm and pulled him into her room, shutting the door and stifling a laugh. “Whoa, that was close.”

---

Tell him things that only he would know… She had a valid point. Then Bucky would have to at least remember them, if only a little. It could trigger, ring a bell, or in the worst case it wouldn’t at all and then Steve would know that this was a lost cause. But he didn’t want to over analyse this now, what if he didn’t get a chance to see him?
“Sounds like something you would do,” he replied with a small grin, giving her a small hug before they had walked. He had no doubts that Fury would send her in the moment it was all secured and safe to tend to the many causalities that the place was sure to bring. Steve couldn’t stop that, but at least it would be calmer. No shooting, no bombs.
They lay on the grass, the ground thankfully still warm from the heat of the day. He saw her shiver and pulled his jacket off, placing it around her and then pulling her closer into him. Why did he have a jacket when he felt so little cold? It was a habit. He just wore jackets everywhere. Especially when going out – less people tended to recognise or at least stare at his form.
“Undress for you? In this darkness?” He teased, and though the thought of them running around in their underwear under stars did seem quite crazy he wasn’t going to rule it out completely. Still a possibility, no?
He murmured an agreement at the beauty of the night sky, watching the first stars twinkle into existence. “Back then, 70 years ago, when I used to do missions with my team,” he said softly, “I remember lying on the ground during the night, waiting to ambush some trucks, and every time I would look up at the sky and think that it was such a beautiful night. Why can’t everyone just stop and admire?” He stayed silent for a few seconds, letting that sink in for Grace, even himself thinking over the memories. Did bad guys even admire these things? Did they have any good in their dark hearts?
Steve turned his head and looked at Grace. No promises, he couldn’t. Not with Bucky, not with this mission. He knew he would probably do some stupid things if Bucky showed up. If all goes to shit… “We got that Saturday night art museum event.” He replied softly, looking into her eyes. “I’ll be there.”

Nothing would happen at the base, they were going out for the mission. And all the agents were trained to know when someone was following them, but he doubted SHIELD would try to follow them back to the HYDRA base. Once the mission was complete there was going to be hell in the streets, no one would have the time to follow them or even think about following them. “You’ll be safe here,” He assured her the best he could, he was almost certain that she would be safe there at the base. It was been a safe place since he could remember, which wasn’t all that long.
He walked beside Ari as they headed to her room, wherever that was in the building. His eyes scanned the area hoping to remember which turns to take, just in case he ever needed to know or go to her room for any reason. Once they reached her room, he stood outside as she opened the door. “I’ll try…” Bucky begun but was again cut off when Ari pulled him into her room and shut the door behind him, he had heard the voices and footsteps coming towards them in the hallway. But it seemed like Ari had reacted faster than he did at that moment.
He hadn’t thought about what it would seem like to someone other than those two, but luckily Ari did think like that. He couldn’t help himself as he stepped around her room, it was tiny and didn’t have much belongings but he did see some books and pictures. He recognised only one man from her pictures, it was her cousin but Bucky couldn’t remember his name. He had worked with the man on a few missions, and he was a very good agent but that is all he knew about the man. Bucky didn’t make any effort when it came to getting to know the agents that he worked with, he’d only forget everything about them the next time his mind was wiped. “Are these your parents?” He asked when he saw a picture of a younger Ari, she had two adults standing behind her and she did look very much like them.

---

Getting herself to a wherever the action was, did sound like something Grace would do. But only because she wanted to be there to help out, try to help anyone who was hurt or even save someone if they were close to dying. But after what happened the day before, she didn’t want to be anywhere near where the mission was going down because she didn’t want a repeat of yesterday to ever happen again.
“I guess it wouldn’t be the best idea, I’d probably trip over something and that wouldn’t be cute.” She smiled as Steve wrapped his jacket around her body before pulling her in close to him, she held the jacket tightly around her body to keep herself warm but also because the jacket smelt like Steve’s cologne and it smelt so good. She smiled as she listened to what he said, while she looked up at the now dark sky and watched the stars twinkle.
“I guess some people don’t or can’t admire something so beautiful, their either too busy or maybe some don’t think this is beautiful.” She spoke quietly as she couldn’t imagine someone like Luka, would lay down and watch the stars at night. “You think about others too much, not everyone deserves you to think about them.” She told him as he didn’t even need to think about evil people, it was a waste of his time as they chose to be the way they are. You can’t change people like that, Grace learnt that the hard way with Luka.
Looking into Steve’s eyes, she knew he couldn’t promise her anything. But it would have made her feel better if he had, but that was selfish as he would have felt horrible if he didn’t keep the promise. “Good, we should go get dinner before it. I’ll take you to the best Italian restaurant,” She smiled at him as she leaned in closer and kissed his lips, “It could be our first date.” She suggested after she broke from his delicious lips.

Ari watched him step around the piles of paper that had been spread out all over the floor. Sure, there wasn’t many belongings here, but the walls and her desk were filled with A3 and larger pieces of paper all containing charts and diagrams, some finished some unfinished. Fat textbooks and books of physic and engineering sat in piles in corners of her room. She bit her lip, wishing she could have kept this room cleaner but she wasn’t exactly planning on welcoming Barnes in before now. She looked up when he asked about two people in the photo and she shook her head. “No.” Ari sided and peered at the photo with little emotion. It was old looking, grainy and there was a lot of childish squint as she stood between two people. She was real in that photo, but the people were fake. “Fake faces.” She admitted and chuckled, “You think I’d keep a picture of my parents here? These are random faces generated and pasted over.” Most of the pictures here were fake, real background, real situation but fake faces, except for her and Luka’s, just to keep suspicions low, besides – Luka worked here anyway. Everyone knew what he looked like.
She kept HYDRA a secret from her parents, but likewise she wasn’t going to go throwing her parents photos around the place. That wasn’t very safe. “They look a lot like me, realistic yeah? That’s a real me though. Such a chub.” She looked at the picture then over at Barnes, watching his expression. She did wander what he would say if he saw her parents, but that maybe another day – or not at all. She turned away and moved some papers from the floor onto her desk, making space so Barnes didn’t have to step over things. She also cleared some sketches from her bed so if he wanted to sit he could since she had doubts the plain desk chair would suit him. “Sorry it’s so messy, I don’t usually have visitors.”
She pulled off her coat and hung it up, still smelling the smoke on it. She’d have to get that dry-cleaned to smell nice again. Off came her small scarf and her shoes. Ari wiggled her toes to get some blood back into their ends. She had been tired, but suddenly she felt awake again. It would be brief, just a small energy spike, but it was enough for now. She pulled out a KitKat from her small fridge and snapped it in half, offering one half to Barnes.

---

Wouldn’t be cute? Steve looked at Grace and chuckled, but he didn’t say anything. Her getting hurt wouldn’t be cute sure, but if it was a small trip onto something soft then that’s another story.
And although he was looking at the stars, he could clearly see her snuggle into his jacket and he could hear her calm breathing, it calmed him too. It seemed that their presences for each other acted on their feelings to calm them. He wasn’t thinking about tomorrow as actively anymore, he was just enjoying this moment.
“I suppose.” He said, but he did wonder anyway. Did they really have just evil in their heart? Didn’t they all have something they cared for, at least something small? If good people could have a dark side, then surely it was possible in the opposite manner? Either way, it was starting to confuse him and hurt his brain, so he gave up the thought. Grace was right to an extent. He did think about other people a lot, and perhaps she was right that not everyone deserved for him to think about them, but he still thought. Steve couldn’t help it. If he wasn’t knowing, he was curious. “I know. I just can’t help it.” He admitted.
In this darkness, he could only just see her but then the moon came out and it was enough to look down at her beautiful face and her lit up eyes and suddenly Steve felt a tightening in his chest. Whatever happens, he would have to come back. It didn’t matter in what state. He failed a promise once, he couldn’t do that again. Not to someone who depended on him, who would wait for him. He stroked her hair softly, listening to her plans. “Italian?” He repeated, smiling softly, “I haven’t had Italian in… a long time.” He wasn’t even sure if he remembered the last time he ate Italian, be it 70 or 80 years ago or when he was 10. Gently, Streve returned Grace the kiss, resting his palm on her cheek now, softly running his thumb over her cheekbones, her soft skin. “Of course.” It was set. He would make it back. He had to.
The goal gave him a peace in his mind and he placed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He didn’t need the stars at the moment, her right here beside him was wonderful enough.

Of course, it made sense for Ari to not actually have real pictures of her family and friends. This room may be private and her’s, but that wouldn’t stop HYDRA from forcing their way into the room if they wanted or needed something. “Of course,” He felt stupid that he had even asked and thought that the picture could be of her real parents, although she had managed to find two people that looked similar to her. But now that he knew, he could see differences that really should have picked up on straight away.
“You were cute, still are.” The last part of that sentence just came out of his mouth, he couldn’t control them or stop the words from flowing out of his mouth. He liked that Ari had chubby cheeks when she was younger, he also didn’t even noticed the mess of papers and thick books. “I don’t mind, you don’t need to tidy up.” He told her as the mess didn’t bother him, he wasn’t the neatest person either although he didn’t have much belongings to use to make a mess in his room. He really just had clothes for missions and that was it really, he wasn’t given anything that he could keep for himself or anything for him to get attached to.
“No, you have it.” He told her when she offered him a piece of her chocolate bar, he did sit down on her uncomfortable bed. The beds really need to be changed inside the base, but even Bucky knew that would never happen. “The rooms here are smaller than I thought,” Not that he thought about it often, he just assumed HYDRA would give their workers a bit more space but he was wrong. He should have known he’d be wrong considering how crappy the mattresses were, he just grew used to the mattress that he had been given.
“Do you live here all the time? I can’t imagine you’d want to be here all the time, I wouldn’t if I have the choice to leave.” Bucky looked over at Ari, he didn’t know if she had told him this before and that was beginning to annoy him. He just wanted to remember so she wouldn’t have to repeat herself over and over again, “I’m sorry if I’m making you repeat yourself. I don’t mean to,” He apologized to her as he felt like he needed to, if he had to recap everything he said then it would piss him off.

---

Grace did love how much Steve thought about people, how much he cared for people that he didn’t even know. “I know and it’s something about you that I adore, but some people really don’t deserve it. Even if they do have some good in them, they decided not to be completely good in life.” She stated as that is just what she thought and believed, she knew that some people could change for the better but she hasn’t really seen much of that happening. She tried to give everyone a second chance, but after that second chance then she was done with someone if they disappointed her again or lied to her or hurt a loved one.
Listening to Steve’s heartbeat was keeping her calm, the sound soothed her and helped her relax even if nerves were filling her body about what could go down tomorrow. She smiled when she felt Steve return her kiss and his thumb brush over her cheekbone, she kept her eyes closed and rested her forehead against his. It was extremely selfish of her to even ask him to promise her anything, but she couldn’t help herself.
“You’ll love this place, I’ve been going for years and the food is amazing.” She smiled as she tried hard to not keep her hopes up, anything could happen to him tomorrow but it felt nice making plans with him. If he were to not make it back to her, it would break her heart whether they had plans or not. It would always hurt her, shatter her heart into a million pieces. However she pushed all those thoughts away so she could just enjoy the time with him.
“I think Natasha may know something is going on between us, she gave me this knowing wink this morning. Or she’s just hoping that we’ve gone further on our own,” She wanted to keep their conversation light and not about Bucky or the mission, this time was just for them so they weren’t going to talk about work.

Ari looked up at him with the chocolate halfway into her mouth. Cute? She instantly felt self-conscious, aware that they probably had chocolate all over her lips. She tried to wipe her mouth without being too obvious and hide her small blush. That was smooth, and she didn’t know what to say. She felt all warm inside though. She offered him a shy smile in response and placed the rejected half of the chocolate in its packet by him, in case he changed his mind.
“Ah, sorry, I just hate having things on the ground when people come over. I’m messy as hell, but presentation has to be neat.” She finished the chocolate and put the wrapper in the bin, returning to her bed and plopping onto it, lying back down and letting her legs hang off the side. She had a comforter beneath the sheets to make the bed softer but it still sucked. She looked up at the ceiling, running her tongue over her lips to make sure there was no chocolate left on them.
“Nah, I have an apartment closer to the city. I go and sleep there most of the time, unless I’m needed early in the morning or have a lot of work.” She said but then felt a little guilty, peeking over at him. She blurted out something she took for granted in all honesty, when he didn’t have that option. He couldn’t just walk away for a few days and forget about being in HYDRA. Ari kicked her legs, bouncing on the bed a little.
“It’s fine,” She smiled over at him, looking at his hand but resisting the urge to take it again. She really liked holding his hand. Hers fit nicely in, and it was warm and comfortable to hold. “It’s the first time you’re here. First time you ever asked about all that.”

---

Steve didn’t argue, he agreed with her. Also staying on this would be pointless, he couldn’t understand his own thoughts so he wouldn’t pursue them – there were better things to think about at this moment. Like Grace beside him, the reality of the time in which he spent now.
He listened to her talk about the Italian restaurant and images of food and some spaghetti (the most he knew about Italian food culture unfortunately) filled his mind. He was already hungry for some, he could almost smell it but he couldn’t point out the smell – it was too faint. It had been way too long. “I’m hungry already,” he chuckled softly. Memories of yummy food started popping up and he could almost smell his mother’s cooking again. He spent the next few minutes telling Grace about his mother cooking him various sorts of food, saying it was important for him to grow strong (which he didn’t but he still ate because he believed!). “Porridge, pies, lots of pies. Potatoes and peas was a common meal, with some small meat portion. Pancakes on thanksgiving, and turkey, couldn’t go without it.” He played with her absentmindedly as he spoke, running his fingers through her brown curls.
“Natasha is a spy, it runs in her blood to sniff out information. I don’t mind if she knows.” He chuckled, then added softly, “Sam on the other hand. Can’t tell if he’s oblivious, or he’s caught on.” Kept calling Grace Steve’s lady friend . But with a certain pronunciation to it that teased. It could be taken as if Sam knew, but at the same time Sam could easily back out because he technically didn’t call her Steve’s girlfriend. Steve didn’t tell that to Grace though. He wasn’t sure if they were ready to take that step so soon, even though his feelings for her were true and strong. Go on a few dates first. Pace themselves, make it last.

Bucky let Ari tidy up the flooring if that would make her feel more comfortable while he was there, but at least now he wouldn’t have to watch where he stepped when he had to leave. He didn’t want to step on anything that may be important, and considering the work she did he figured every piece of paper was important to her or to HYDRA. His boot marks wouldn’t go over well with HYDRA if they were trying to read a plan or look at a design that Ari handed them, he did see that she wiped her mouth after she ate her piece of chocolate. To make sure that her mouth was clean, although he would have mentioned it if she had missed a bit.
Looking over at her he was glad that she had an apartment closer to the city, it would be nice to get away but he didn’t feel anything but happy for Ari. She had a place that was her own and she could go there to relax, to forget about HYDRA and just be herself. He did wish that he had a place like that, the closest thing he had was the rooftop but even then he was still at the base. But he didn’t want Ari to feel bad for telling him, he had asked and he was glad that she had been honest with him and told him.
“That sounds nice, it’s good that you can get away from here.” He told her and gave her a slight smile, he wasn’t sure if everyone had a home away from HYDRA but if he had that choice then he would take it. He knew that he’d never actually be able to visit her apartment to see her, the only time he ever left the base was when he was given a mission. Afterwards he was taken straight back by the agents who worked on the mission with him, he did feel relief when Ari told him that it was the first time he had asked her that question. “Good, I would say that you have a nice room. But it isn’t all that nice,” He told her honestly as the room wasn’t nice, it was small and bland.
Ari didn’t seem to make it her’s, there wasn’t many personal belongings in the room which made sense. She didn’t want to stay there unless she needed to, so why would she bring anything from her apartment to stay in the small room? He glanced over to where she was laying on her bed, “I shouldn’t stay long. Tomorrow will be a long day,” He also didn’t want to keep her awake if she was tired, she needed as much sleep as she could get and if stayed there with her then she wouldn’t be sleeping.

---

Grace smiled at his comment about the Italian restaurant that she wanted to take him to when all of this was finished and was calm again, she listened to him as he told her about his mother’s cooking and she realised then that she was never going to meet his family. He would meet her family and her parents, but she wouldn’t have the same experience. It would be something she’d deal with, she still had Steve in her life and that was more than enough for her. “I wish I could have met her, now when I cook for you I won’t really know if it’s good like her’s.” She smiled as she knew Steve would compliment anything that she did cook for him, but Grace still would have wanted to learn things from his mother about how she cooked.
She rested her arm over his chest and felt her eyes close, his fingers moving through her hair was relaxing. “Next Thanksgiving you’ll have it with me,” She told him as her family always got together and had a huge feast, it was a time that no one should be alone at and she didn’t want Steve to stay inside his apartment on his own.
He was right about Natasha, it was in her blood to pick up on everything. But she was also a woman, it seemed to be easier for them to figure out things like this. “I don’t mind if everyone knows, they’ll find out eventually.” She wasn’t going to go around telling people, well she’d tell her parents once Steve became her boyfriend. But there wasn’t any rush, she liked to think they had all the time in the world. That’s what she told herself at least, she laughed softly when he mentioned Sam. “I think Sam knows that we like each other, but that’s as far as it goes for him.” She smiled as she used her finger tip to absentmindedly draw patterns on his chest, “He’ll realise soon enough.” She softened her voice as she tried to hide a yawn from Steve, she didn’t want to leave this position. She wanted to spend as much time with him as she possibly could before tomorrow, but it also wouldn’t be good if she was tired when Fury called her in to help agents tomorrow.

Ari listened to him, chuckling softly when he spoke about her room. "Yeah, it's ugly and bland. Feels like a cell." She stretched out on her bed then, cuddling a pillow and burying her if her face into it. It was warm and it was softer than the hard bed, and it lulled her to sleep. She was drifting off again, she could feel it.
When Barnes mentioned he had to go soon she peered up at him and smiled, "yeah, you're right. You have a long day tomorrow." She quietened for a moment then reached out her hand and touching his upper arm. Ari looked at his face more intently, studying it and commuting its shape to memory again. She had a small gallery of memory-photos in her mind of his face. Something she cherished and kept close.
"Go sleep." She said softly, knowing he would need the strength and wake if he was going to come back, "Sleep well. Goodnight." Ari dropped her hand so he could go. She didn't get up though, she was so comfortable here. It wasn't like she needed to guide him to the door it was literally right there. She smiled at some thought and pulled the covers over her, not wanting to get up to even undress. She'd sleep like this, she didn't care.

---

Steve wished he had helped his mother cook some times more often, but there were other things he had to do, such as his paperboy job so he never really got the chance.
"Everyone has their own special way of cooking," he replied. His mother made delicious pies and occasionally a wonderful cake but they were different to Graces. It wasn't something he could compare. They weren't worse and they weren't better, just different.
Steve smiled at the thought of having Thanksgiving with her. "It'd be a pleasure. do you celebrate with family?" He wasn't sure, since sometimes people tended to live spread out over a country and he hadn't really talked about Graces parents much with her, so he wasn't sure where they were now.
How would she even introduce him to them? Would they recognise him as Captain America and see that only? He wasn't sure.
At least here at the base, most people saw him as Steve, who worked as an agent with the name of Cap. Someone real to them, not just a legend.
And for some he was just Steve first and foremost. Like Sam, who was oblivious to the romancy side of things, to Natasha who knew his habits and perks and teased him, and to Grace.
Hearing her stifle a yawn, Steve stroked her hair a little but knew their time was coming to an end now. The Stars were all out twinkling away, unaware of things on earth. He had to get rest too, and she needed rest also. He let them lay together for a few minutes more before finally whispering, "We should get back. It's darker and cold. And base has lockout curfew." He grinned, "as pretty as this all is, I would hate to be stuck outside." He stood, helping her get up also so they could make their way back to base.

(sorry so short! D: )

Ari was right, the room did appear to be like a cell. He smiled as he watched her get as comfortable as she could on the hard bed, a pillow was in her arms as her eyes closed. Standing up from her bed so she would have more room to spread out, “I’m sure you’ll be able to get home to your apartment shortly.” He told her quietly as he leaned forward and made sure that she was tucked in with her blankets surrounding her, he even pressed a small kiss to the side of her head.
“Goodnight Ari,” He whispered before he stepped over to the door, checking the hallway outside to make sure it was empty before he turned the light switch off and closed the door behind him. He briskly walked though the hallway as he wouldn’t have much of an excuse if someone did find him wandering through the base at night time.
Making his way to his room, he shut the door and pulled his clothes off. He climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over his body, laying there he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come. It took some time as he couldn’t stop thinking about Ari, he hoped nothing horrible happened to him tomorrow but he couldn’t be certain about that. He just wanted to get back to her, no matter what shape he was in. He rolled over onto his side and pushed all the thoughts out of his mind, and he did slowly fall asleep as he knew he’d need to be up easy so he could get ready for the task that was ahead of him.

---

Grace nodded slightly at his question, “We do. They live a few hours away from me now, so they usually drive here to me and my Grandpa. We try to spend as much time together, they’ve always been busy working so I don’t see them all that much.” She told him as her parents were even busy working when she was a child, it’s something she’d never do when she started a family of her own because it did hurt her as she grew up. “They’ll really like you,” She smiled as it would be impossible for her parents not to like Steve, everyone liked him.
She sighed softly as she knew he was right, she was getting sleepy and they both needed to rest before tomorrow. But she still didn’t want to leave, “Alright but we’re coming back here or finding another place like it.” She told him as she took his hand and felt him pull her up onto her feet, she entwined her fingers with her own as they both walked back down the path and towards the base.
The walk was much shorter than she would have liked as they stepped through the front door of the base, “Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Looking up at him, Grace kissed his cheek and gave his hand a little squeeze.
She didn’t want to leave him, she wanted to take him back into her room and cuddle in bed before they both fell asleep.
It would have made her feel so much better about everything, but she couldn’t ask him to do that. So she let his hand go and walked down the hallway towards her bedroom, once inside she got changed into pajamas. Another yawn escaped from her lips as she got herself tucked into bed, it wasn’t long before she was fast asleep which was surprising considering how worried she was about the next day.

[Steve has two parts, first and last. ]

His morning started early. Very early. A short brief run through of the mission and the meeting was over. A breakfast munched in the shower, shield and cap and suit on and go. The mission was simple. Get in, take over the helicarriers, kick out HYDRA, re-establish SHIELD. Easier said than done. They sneaked in fairly easy, announced their presence to everyone, but the problems didn’t wait around. The problem made themselves known. HYDRA was here, HYDRA was everywhere. HYDRA was busting down their door and HYDRA was blowing up their ships when people tried to help them. The first two helicarriers were secured, but suddenly he was there. Steve didn’t even see what hit him. He was just suddenly flying off the top of the helicarrier and he scrambled, grabbing everything he could to stop his fall along the side. He heard Sam shout his name but everything was a whirl. Sam didn’t come. He heard fighting, gunshots.
Don’t worry, I got it. They were close. He wouldn’t give up. But he got on, he went to place the chip and he saw him. Cold and without a care. An assassin, a machine of HYDRA. The Winter Soldier. Barnes. Bucky.
Steve said his name, Buck, but there was no response. He was met with only the cold eyes he once knew were filled with joy and love, eyes that changed after capture, but eyes that were still somewhat alive, with fire inside. Not these ones. Not anymore.
Please don’t make me do this. There was no choice. They fought, Bucky didn’t even stop not once, no hesitation. He was strong. Steve tried to keep him away, push him away to put the chip in, but then the chip was out of his hand and Bucky was persistent. No, not Bucky, this wasn’t Bucky. This was the Winter Soldier hitting with the intent to kill. There would be no mercy. Cap just had to knock him out, right, that’s all, then maybe he’d have time to insert chip and take Bucky out of here… He hated to hurt his former friend, but it had to be done. For the people, for the world, for it to be safe, he would have to hurt Barnes. He’d have to put them first.
It all happened so fast, he knocked Barnes out, he climbed up to insert the chip and then there was pain. There was pain and he thought deep inside with fear that he was going to die. There was so much blood, in his entire body, it was burning. There was nothing rushing in his mind, no names, no faces. Just pain as he stared ahead, trying to breathe and calm himself. He could hear Barnes approaching. For the people, for the world.
The chip went in and the ships went down. It threw him around, metal barriers hitting everywhere the bullets did and Steve struggled, his instinct to live kicking in. Not serum, no hero, just a boy who didn’t want to back down from a fight. He’d push through.
He didn’t account for Bucky screaming, and he had to save him too, and maybe Grace was right. Steve tried, he told him things only Bucky would know. He thought he saw hesitation, but then he was looking up at his friend as Bucky punched his face in screaming about being his mission, Steve let it all go. This was the last chance he’d get. Ever. Maybe he would die now, but he couldn’t kill his friend. “Then finish it… cause I’m with you… till the end of the line.”
He didn’t know what happened after. He thought he saw realisation, but he wasn’t sure. He was falling then. Away from the ships, down into the water. Again. Before his back hit the water he only had three things on his mind.
The people were saved.
He thought he saw Bucky.
He wouldn’t make that date…. again.

---

Everything was going fine, but then they had to split up. SHIELD made a comeback, everything went to shit. Luka didn’t remember anything that lead up to his current situation, he only remembered something loud and a bright flash of an explosion. And now he was in a hospital. There was pain in his upper body, he felt bandages on his neck, chest, shoulders and upper arms and IVs in his arms, and his forearms bandaged and there was stinging there. And the worst part, he felt the handcuffs cuffing him to the bed.
They failed.
Luka didn’t know what to even think. He couldn’t think. He had such pain in his eyes and his head, he couldn’t even speak. He only overheard doctors mutter in disgust at him. Solar retinopathy-like damage. Blinded forever. Will see shapes but never focus. And then some more medical terms by the end of which he passed out from pain. It was true. The natural light in his room, with curtains closed, was enough to cause his eyes pain, so he kept them closed. A bandage that sat on his forehead slipped down and it added extra shading, for which he was thankful.
In SHIELD’s infirmary for prisoners, he didn’t know the fate of the other team members. He didn’t know anything. He just stayed silent. He denied all food. He denied all water. He might as well die. At least Grace was safe again. But he worried for Ari. He was scared for her. Luka sat in his bed, head resting away from the window, eyes closed, still and motionless, dry lips parted and burns starting to blister and peel beneath the bandages.
Someone would come to him in the late evening, and a few members including Rumlow, would escape the place. But for now, he sat here, visible and prisoner.

---

HYDRA was down. There was chaos at the base. Ari didn’t have to ask twice. They failed. Whatever happened, it failed. SHIELD took back (she was partially relieved for it) and there wouldn’t be any helicarriers shooting down innocent people. She had packed her bag when the news was spread, and she took all the documents relating to her and chucked them all into one pile in her room. All the things she didn’t want but related to her she put them there, and she threw a match on to it. The room lit up in flames, engulfing paper and bed and furniture and HYDRA clothing. She walked out, carrying her bag on her shoulder, hooded in her coat as she left the base after deleting the last of her files. The whole system was deleting, people frantically erasing their existence. She left and a few hours later the base was empty. SHIELD would find it and come, and nobody wanted to be there.
And as guilty as she was, Ari didn’t want to spend her life in prison. She ran too. The mission failed. Luka was there, probably captured now. She didn’t know what happened to Barnes. Caught too, probably. Her heart tightened. She found her way home, and she locked all the doors and hid her stolen stash of guns around the apartment. They would come too, SHIELD or HYDRA, whoever found her first. She would have to be prepared. Somehow.
It wasn’t long before someone did knock on the door, in the evening of the next day. She was wary, she held the gun and peered out and she saw her Luka. Luka slumped over the shoulders of a man from his STRIKE team. They had escaped with help, and now they left Luka – injured and blinded – at her place. A place that didn’t exist to SHIELD or to HYDRA.
She spent the evening caring for him, and crying softly, cursing him and hitting his wounds. She lost her voice screaming at him.
Maybe SHIELD rejoiced, but her life collapsed. SHIELD saved so many people but also made workers of HYDRA, like her, indirect assistance, live in fear. Every voice and step outside made Ari jump. The news on her tv played quietly. A day after the fall of the helicarriers and the world was talking about it.

---

Steve didn’t know how long he had been out. He wasn’t sure. He woke up to some soft song playing, slowly, he gathered his senses. He saw Sam. “On your left.” He whispered, relaxing. Everything was fine if he was here. It meant SHIELD prevailed, they had won. They had taken away the threat of HYDRA.
Sam only smiled, “There’s someone anxious to see you.” And he was gone. Steve didn’t have to guess who it would be. He knew. The heart monitor was disconnected he noticed, thankfully. He didn’t want it beeping his heart out loud.

“Cause I’m with you… till the end of the line.” His mission said to him before he let the man fall from the helicarrier, he watched the body fall into the water. At that second Bucky froze, those words were like a slap in the face for him. He knew those words, he said it a long time ago but he remembered it. He did say it, he had to have said it to his mission. Which is why he dove into the cold water after him, he pulled the man from the water and left him on the river bank as he knew his friends would find him.
Walking away Bucky was even more confused, he hadn’t felt like this before. He was curious about who he was and had been, he was angry at HYDRA for making him into this. But at least HYDRA had failed, although now he didn’t know what he was going to do. Everyone at the base would run, HYDRA would search for him soon enough so he had to be careful. He stuck to alleyways and shadows as he walked, he couldn’t trust anyone but Ari. He needed to find Ari now, make sure she was safe now that HYDRA had fallen.
He was in pain from having the beam fall on him, but he pushed through. He ended up at the base which was now completely empty, he went straight to Ari’s room but it was also empty and there was a pile of ash in the corner. He was about to leave when something caught his eye, there was a piece of paper hiding under the bookcase in her room. Pulling it out he noticed it was from her file, he thought it was at least and he thought nothing of it until he saw a very faint pencil marking on the back of the paper. It was an address, folding the paper he took it with him as he rushed over to his room. He changed clothes before leaving the base before SHIELD arrived to sweep it for any HYDRA workers, he wasn’t going to be there when they came as he didn’t want to get captured.
He wandered off and during the night he only slept here and there whenever he found a safe place for him to rest, he was on edge and on guard. Every noise alerted him which only made him want to reach Ari as soon as he possibly could, his urge to find her is what pushed him on. When he did find her apartment he made sure no one had followed him and that no one had seen him, he was silent as he made his way to the door. He hid his face the best he could but hoped that Ari was there, he hoped she had made it out and HYDRA hadn’t found her yet but he knew HYDRA would be after him before they went after Ari.
Knocking on the door lightly with his knuckle, he stood there waiting. It felt like minutes past as he waited, which was probably only seconds. His hope was fading and he was getting prepared to leave, until he heard a noise. The door lock was being turned.

---

Grace had gone into the SHIELD hospital, she was thrown straight into surgeries. For SHIELF agents and HYDRA agents alike, not all survived through the night but Grace had to. She had to work through the night without many breaks, but the need to save people pushed her to continue on. She even did the surgery on Rumlow which took hours as he was that severely injured, it was a tough surgery and she had to just see him as another patient. She couldn’t think about what he was really like, otherwise she wouldn’t want to help him.
In the morning Grace finished and crashed out on a couch, she didn’t know how long she slept for but when she woke up she took a shower and freshened up. Putting on a clean pair of scrubs she checked on all her patients, the hospital was crazy. Nurses and doctor were still rushing around the building, checking on everyone there and making sure they didn’t lose anymore. Grace ate some food while she checked on Steve, Sam was still there sleeping in the chair and she spoke to Natasha for a bit in the hallway. When Steve had been brought in Grace didn’t see anyone else, she wasn’t allowed to do anything for him as she was too close to him. She had to leave him in the hands of someone else, she trusted the doctor but she would have preferred it to be her saving Steve’s life. But the surgery went well and the bullet didn’t do much damage, Grace hadn’t held her breath like that in a very long time.
Steve was still sleeping so Grace continued on working, she knew what room Luka was in and she found herself standing inside it. She stared at him, knowing what had happened to his eyes. She felt horrible, she would never want this to happen to him. “Luka…” She whispered as she didn’t want to startle him, although he probably already knew that she was there. “Here, let me.” She kept her voice soft as she moved over to him and very lightly moved the bandage lower over his eyes, to keep any light out but she loosen the bandages so they didn’t put pressure on his eyes. But then he moved his hand, the cuff hitting the metal bars of the bed and she jumped backwards away from him. He scared her now, what he did to her that night was still fresh in her mind.
“This is what you get, Luka. You didn’t win this time, you’ll never win. You don’t deserve this, but at the same time you do for everything you’ve done for them. Where are they now? They’ve abandoned you, they never once cared about you.” She told him before she walked out of the room, she wanted to slap him and hit him but she couldn’t. So she left before she did hit him, calming herself down she finished off her rounds and was doing some paperwork when Sam’s voice hit her ears. He was awake!
Rushing into his room, Grace sighed in relief when she saw Steve was awake. “Let’s never do that again,” She rushed to his side and gently kissed his lips, she wanted to hold him tightly but knew that would only hurt him more. So kissing him was the best she could do right now, until his body healed up. She sat on the edge of his bed and looked at his swollen face, no one knew what had happened to him. Sam just found him by the river and brought him into the hospital, “You’re going to be fine. You do need to rest so your body can heal, someone shot you. That’s still serious, even for you.” She told him in her doctor voice, but then she kissed his lips again as tears welled up in her eyes. Happy tears though, she was just so happy that he was alive and had the strength to survive again.

The knock on the door stopped her in her tracks. She was cooking something in a pan, and almost missed the knock. She paused, suddenly alert. Turning the gas off, she slipped her hand into a drawer and pulled out a gun, pressing it close to her as she crept towards the door. Ari stopped by to the side of it, so if anyone decided to break in they would miss her. She listened. Nothing, she heard nothing. But Ari felt she didn't just make up a sound in her mind. She slowly turned and peeped through the hole.
Barnes.
She sharply jerked away from the door. A mixture of feelings came over. Let him in? Pretend she wasn't home? What if he was sent by HYDRA to get rid of loose ends? She did leave that little address written on the paper… She clutched the cold gun in her hand, slowly opened the door, but she didn't let it open all the way. He would have to push it open himself. Ari quickly stepped back, well out of reach and watched the door slowly open, her gun raised head level, aiming dead and true. She knew his height, a rough approximation wouldn't mess up her aim too much.
Ari knew how fast he could move, knew his true power. Knew that if he did attack, she really wouldn't have a choice. She would just have to pray her reaction to pull the trigger was faster than he could move. Pray that one bullet would be enough to stumble him so she could put more through him - and at the same time she feared she wouldn't be able to. It was a face she knew so well, a face she came to care for and love.
The door opened fully now, she could see him. Her eyes stung at tears that she held back, her finger on the trigger. Only ask something he would know. If he didn't - he was wiped and she would shoot. She would try. She wanted to shake, she could feel the trembles ready to burst, but she held herself. She stood still. There was no tremor in her.
"I gave you one of two objects, and you returned one to me. What was it?" The answer was simple. Plums. Nobody would have guessed. At least, nobody should have. It was something only they knew.

---

Steve heard her rushing before he saw her, and when he saw her he thought he had died and gone to heaven because surely, this was an angel. He looked at her as she neared him, watching her eyes and oblivious to everything else. He was a mess and he could tell she was tired but she still looked as amazing as ever. She smelled of medicine and bandages and scrubs and gloves, of antibacterial soap and of IV packets. There was a speck of food on her collar, a rushed breakfast or something, he supposed. She must have been working around the clock to save all their sorry asses. He wondered if she had worked on him too. Though somehow he doubted it, SHIELD may not have let her, since they were close.
Steve wished he could return the kiss Grace gave him, but his face felt numb and his mouth had stitches and he couldn't move half of it. So he just watched her with the eye that wasn't sore, turning his head with some difficulty to accommodate a temporary loss of vision while it was all bruised and battered on the side where Bucky had bashed his face in.
"I was worried," He said softly, wanting to hold her hand. But he could barely move his arm. His fingers twitched and he looked at them, hoping she would understand. "I was worried I wouldn't get out. I'd miss our date..." He paused, took a breath. The memories were terrifying. He could still recall leaning against that pole, three bullet holes in him, and a hell lot of fear.
"Sam said he found me by the river?" He asked, his brow twitching into what should have been a soft frown as she retold him the injuries. "Bucky."
The name hurt, as if it stung, and everything in him began to hurt again as if in memory. He waited for the pain to subside.
"He stabbed me. Shot me, three times." He looked away from her face, lost in his own little world. "I was his mission. He had to kill me or something. But then the base broke and I fell. I don't remember anything after that…" Was he magically washed up on the beach? Maybe some random fisherman pulled him out? He really doubted Bucky did that. The man was intent on killing him. "He's gone."
Steve wasn't sure what even he meant by that. Gone as in he got away? Gone as in he was gone and now there was a cold heartless shell in his place?
Steve pushed all those thoughts away and looked at Grace again. "I'm so glad to see you again." He looked at her, the way the little light of sun fell through the thin veil curtains onto her. "Did anyone tell you... you have beautiful eyes."

Watching the door crack open but there was no body behind the wooden door, Bucky felt his wall come up and he was on guard all over again. His body tensed as Ari could not even be inside the apartment, what if HYDRA had already gotten there and were waiting for him to step through the door. They could know about this apartment and knew it was a place where he would go, but then Ari could be there. She would be alert just like he was, she could be inside but had stepped backwards as she doesn’t know if he was still the same person. He could have easily gotten his mind wiped before HYDRA took him there, they were both in the same position. They trusted each other but at that second in time, they weren’t as trusting as they have been.
His hand slowly pushed the door aside as he just had to go with his gut feeling, stepping into the room his eyes landed on Ari. Her arms were stretched out straight ahead of her, her hands clasping a gun that was pointed high but was aimed at his head. He would have been surprised if she wasn’t protecting her, he was glad that she did have a gun and looked like she did know how to use it. He didn’t walk far into the apartment, but he did close the door behind him so they could have some privacy. His eyes scanned the room but she was alone, then she spoke and asked him a question that only he would know.
“A plum, I apologize but there wasn’t any time for me to find one.” He told her as he felt like he should have brought something with him, although that was stupid considering what has just happened. He watched as Ari dropped her arms before her body fell onto the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks and Bucky was kneeling on the floor in front of her in seconds. He wrapped his arms around her body and held her close to his body, “I’m here now.” He whispered to her and let her cry onto his shoulder, he knew they couldn’t stay there for long. He needed to hide and he was going to take Ari with him, there was no way he was going to leave her behind.
“You can’t punch that well, but you can aim a gun.” He tried to lighten the mood, his body relaxed only a small amount because he still needed to protect Ari. He needed to find somewhere safe where they can hide from HYDRA and SHIELD, “You were right. A man, he was my mission and he knew me. He knew me, Ari… I didn’t kill him.” He told her quietly as he ran his fingers through her raven hair, he didn’t want to see Ari this upset or crying but he knew it had been a very stressful day for everyone.

---

Grace didn’t care if Steve couldn’t kiss her back, she wasn’t expecting him to be able. Whoever he had fought had done a lot of damage to him, but he was still as handsome as ever in her opinion. She picked up on the hint and took his hand into her own, “But you did survive. Now we can go on so many dates,” She smiled at him as gently soothed back some of his hair, she couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. She didn’t want to ever imagine it, but when he wanted to tell her then she would listen and be there for him.
“Yeah, he did. He didn’t see anyone else around,” She told him softly and heard him say Bucky’s name, it made sense that HYDRA would send Bucky after Steve. She just hated the thought that it was his old friend who did this to him, “He doesn’t remember you Steve. If he did then I’m sure he wouldn’t have done any of this, they changed him. We both know that,” She wasn’t sure if that would make him feel better, it probably wouldn’t as the memory of what happened would still be fresh in Steve’s head.
Grace felt horrible that he was going through this, she just wanted to help him but she didn’t know how. “We can search for him, if that’s what you want.” She suggested to him but she would give him time to decide, she just hoped that HYDRA wouldn’t find Bucky before they could. If they did then it would be so much harder for Steve to get through to his friend, but HYDRA had fallen so hopefully Bucky wouldn’t have gone back to them. “And I’m glad to see you again,” She smiled as she looked at him, “Flirting with your doctor, huh? And thank you,” She squeezed his hand lightly, “Are you comfortable? I can get you another pillow and help you sit up,” She asked as she touched his arm to make sure that he wasn’t laying there cold, she knew she was fussing over him and she knew he probably didn’t want her do but she couldn’t help it.
She was a doctor but she also cared about him, she was falling in love with him so she wasn’t not going to help him and tend to him. “Are you in much pain?” She asked him as she could give him more pain relief if he needed it, “You had me so worried. When they brought you in… you weren’t conscious and I wasn’t allowed to help you. They gave me Rumlow instead of you,” She sighed softly as she didn’t want to get upset again, she had already cried over how hurt Steve was.

She had tensed as he stepped in, saw the guarded expression on his face. For a fleeting moment she thought she really would have to pull that trigger, really would have to fire that gun and injure him. But then he said the plum, and she relaxed. Everything she had been holding back was now free to go and the gun shook in her hand and tumbled out and she was on the knees covering her face and just generally crying. Ari felt his arms around her and let him embrace her, somewhat crawling into the hug herself and holding whatever she could of him. He smelled like blood and ash and metal and explosives and yet she didn’t care, he was here, with his mind okay and she was very much happy with that.
She heard him talk and she only clutched the cloth of shirt on his shoulder, calming herself. “Bullets are usually faster than punches.” She mumbled softly. If she had to punch, she was already screwed over. Even a tough man would hurt if a bullet pierced him, so she’d rather gun him down while he was still far away than let him come close into combat against which she would have a very low success rate of winning.
Ari wiped her eyes and pulled away, looking up at him. Steve… “His name,” she murmured softly, “is Steve Rogers.” He was alive. She lightly patted his shoulder. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him.” She sniffed, and was about to add something else when she heard a stumble in the bedroom. She quickly looked over.
Luka stood in the doorway, holding onto the doorframe, a gun in his other hand, his eyes open and narrowed. He couldn’t see who it was beside his cousin, but he could see the shape. He could shoot still, roughly. “Ari, who is that?”
Ari jumped up, putting herself between Barnes and Luka, nearing Luka with her hands out to calm him and take the gun from him, “Its fine, we’re okay. Put that down and go to bed.” Luka hesitated, he protested but Ari was already in front of him and took the gun from his hand, putting it out of reach. ”I said, go. To. Bed.” One small shove and he was gone into the room. Ari shut the door and tiredly turned to Barnes. She crossed the room, made sure the door was locked on all its locks and opened another door leading to the bathroom with a shower and everything. She looked at him then away, gesturing to the shower. “Go shower. I’ll bring you some clothes.”
She’d tend to his wounds the best she could too. And finish cooking her late dinner. She felt really tired.

---

Steve tried to think and remember everything, but it was hazy and then it was completely blank. He didn’t know who had pulled him out but he wanted to. A small hope it was Bucky, but there was nothing to support it. Bucky would have let him drown for all Steve knew.
Her words voicing his fears only made him sadder. He closed his eyes, resting the small headache he had probably when he was getting his face punched in, and then added softly. “But he looked at me. I think. Before I fell. There was a Bucky that I knew in his eyes.” He peered at Grace through half closed eyes and managed a smile, “But then again, I might be delusional.”
Yes, he did want to search for him. Now that HYDRA was down, Barnes wouldn’t have many places to go. He wouldn’t run far. But that would have to wait until Steve got better. For now, he could barely even hold Grace’s hand even though she was doing all the holding.
He chuckled softly, though that quickly ceased and he groaned at the pain in his chest. “It’s not every day a pretty doctor tends to me.” Steve coughed a little and shook his head best he could while it lay down. “No, no, I don’t want to sit up. I don’t think I can.” Pain relief would be tempting, but other people needed it too and he needed to tough it out. The pain was too severe at the moment, just numb throbbing that he could handle. Else he’d grow weak to all pain, right? “I’m okay. I’m okay.” He reassured her, and himself.
They brought Rumlow in? He tried to recall if he had seen that guy anywhere, but he hadn’t. “Rumlow? I feel sorry for you.” Doctors didn’t exactly have a choice on whether to operate on someone or not, he supposed. And they couldn’t get a prisoner die off. Rumlow could have important information, like HYDRA’s whereabouts. Damn Rumlow.
The thought brought up another name and he looked over at Grace, concerned. “Luka…?”
Her worry about him put a smile on his face though, a soft genuine smile. Grace being so concerned about him made Steve feel a little warmer on the inside. He squeezed her hand in return, and closed his eyes. “Don’t tell me anymore, I don’t want to know.” He said then, and turned his head to face the ceiling. “I just want something yummy. And some water.” Oh lord, he was really hungry now that he thought about it. And out of the menus he could have he really wanted something satiating and then something for dessert, maybe something Grace made. Yeah, that would be nice.
“Please no hospital food, doctor.” He added, and grinned.

Ari was right, bullets were faster and he knew that. He had been able to shoot the guy that was fighting him in the hellicarrier, three times actually. He felt Ari cling onto the fabric of his shirt, he even rocked her body slightly from side to side in hopes it would help calm her down. Steve Rogers, that was his name and it did feel familiar to him. But it didn’t bring up any memories for him, maybe he had to be around the person or see something they did together for him to remember anything. He really didn’t know, and he might not even remember this Steve. He didn’t really have control over his mind, which was sad and he would need to learn how to control his mind once again. In fact, he would need to learn how to control himself again.
He has been under HYDRA’s control for such a long time that he was used to getting orders, he was used to killing and having missions before he would get frozen. Now none of that was going to happen and it would take him some time to get used to being free, which is what he always wanted. Bucky went to ask Ari something but heard footsteps, his eyes landed on Luka but he was different. Slowly he stood up as Luka was still holding a gun in his direction, but then Luka asked who he was. He couldn’t see him, something must have happened in the fight and caused Luka not to see. He was blind and HYDRA wouldn’t want their soldier to be blind, they wouldn’t care about Luka anymore. That’s just how HYDRA was.
He stood there silent and watched as Luka went back into a room, he watched as Ari locked the door to the apartment before showing him to the bathroom. “Thank you,” He spoke to her quietly and stepped into the bathroom, he shut the door and pulled his clothes off. Leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor, he turned the shower on and waited for the water to warm before he climbed in. The water felt so nice against his skin, it helped relax his muscles and did sooth any soreness that he had from the fight. His chest was bruised but he would be fine, he used the shampoo and conditioner to wash his hair before he used the soap and cleaned his skin. Stepping out he grabbed a towel and dried himself off, then wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out with his clothes in his arms. “Here are my dirty clothes,” He told her as he stood there with just a towel covering himself.

---

Grace listened to what Steve was telling her, if Steve thought he did see the old Bucky then he either hadn’t had his mind wiped in a while which she didn’t think was it. Or there was someone by him that was helping him in some way, “I don’t think you’re delusional. Maybe you did get through to him, he could remember you or just feel like he does. It could be why he didn’t kill you,” Especially if that is what HYDRA ordered him to do, he would have had the order to kill Steve but something made him ignore that order and that gave Grace hope.
“You’ll always have a pretty doctor caring for you,” She assured him warmly as she didn’t want to make him laugh as it did cause him pain, “Okay but you tell me if you do need anything.” She was very firm on that, she didn’t want him to tough out the pain when she could easily just give him pain relief and it would take the edge off for him.
Shrugging her shoulders lightly when Steve mentioned Rumlow, “It wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t awake in the surgery, but he’s in such bad shape. I don’t even know if he’ll survive the next 24 hours, he’ll be in a lot of pain.” She told him quietly and then he asked about Luka, “He won’t be bothering us anymore. His eyes were damaged during the fight,” She told him briefly just so he would know what happened, but she didn’t want to go any further into it right now. He brought a smile back to her face when he asked for something nice to eat and some water, “I’ll go get you water and I’ll send Sam out for food.” Standing up she let his hand go and kissed his forehead lightly, stepping out of his room she found Sam and asked him to go find some food for Steve. She filled up a jug with water and took it back to him, she poured him a glass and helped him drink through a straw. “Take small slow sips,” She urged him as she held the glass for him, “Sam won’t be long. But the food here isn’t all that horrible,” She smiled as she looked at him, “I wish I could do more. Take all the pain away for you,” Sighing softly she has done everything that she could for him, but this is why she became a doctor. She wanted to help people and she was.

While he showered Ari spent some time rummaging through Luka’s clothes in attempts to find something that would fit Barnes. They were very different in shape. Barnes had mode chest and thigh than Luka did, and was slightly taller than Luka. So she found the baggiest pants she could and a hoodie, because no shirt of Luka’s was going to fit Barnes without sitting way too tight on him and Luka didn’t wear loose shirts.
She neatly placed the pile on the edge of the couch to give to Barnes whenever he was done showering, and returned to the kitchen corner resuming cooking the meal. The smell wafted around the one room that was essentially the kitchen, the dining and the lounge in one. She finished the small meal of potato and meatballs, piling it onto three plates (one for Luka to eat in his own room). After a few minutes, she heard the door open and turned around to see Barnes come out.
“I got some clothes for….” She spoke, trailing off halfway when she caught sight of his upper half and the towel. Whatever she was going to say it vanished from her mind, and honestly she just died a little inside. Whoa. Slowly she became aware she had been staring, her gaze running all over, which was long enough. The spoon she had been using in spooning food over was in her mouth now, held like some sort of lollipop. Ari, come on. She thought to herself, coming back to reality.
She put the spoon down, stepped away from the stove and tore her sight away from his body, taking the clothes from the couch and giving them to Barnes. “I hope they fit. There’s food if you’re hungry,” she said, avoiding eye contact, taking his clothes from him and hesitating briefly before turning away to take them to the tiny laundry to have them washed. She lingered in the laundry for a little longer than she had to, trying to calm her rush of emotions. Because damn, because whoa. It was the first time she had really seen him shirtless, and it was amazing. It was no brainer he’d be hella ripped, she did get a glimpse back then on the roof but this was just… out there. If God was real…
She came out of the laundry looking somewhat less flustered, holding herself together and sat down at the table with the plates, looking at her food. Such a gorgeous man in her house and here she was in her own hoodie and baggy sports pants, looking like a hobo almost.

---

He sure hoped he would have a pretty doctor caring for him. Some doctors were very scary here at SHIELD, and he’d rather not have them viciously stab him with needles.
The news about those two guys settled him but he didn’t feel any joy or sadness for them. It was a consequence for being in HYDRA, as his own injuries were a consequence for being in SHIELD. At least neither would be bothering them any time soon. He would be out of bed by tomorrow hopefully. Steve watched Grace disappear out of the room to go find him some food and smiled softly as she left. He moved his left hand, lightly prodding his injuries. They were sure still painful. He winced. When would he get out? He didn’t know. But Fury was alive, they had SHIELD back, things were going okay.
“Sam isn’t going to bring me anything good,” Steve said when Grace returned, smiling enough to almost chuckle but not laughing because that would hurt him again. “He’ll bring me some spicy takeaway and then eat it for me.” He eyed the straw and pouted, pressing his lips together. “I’m not drinking from a straw, you make me feel more injured than I really am.” He grinned, refusing to take the straw into his mouth until she would get rid of it.
The water was nice on his throat, nice on his lips and in his mouth. It soothed the aching and the dustiness. Feeling refresehed, he looked to Grace again. The water hadn’t done much but it made him feel much better already. “When do you think I can be out, doctor?” then a soft frown settled over his features when she spoke. “No, you’ve already done enough. You being here does a lot already.” He tried to move his hand, struggling since his shoulder was way injured where he had been stabbed, but managing to turn it over enough to take Grace’s hand into his this time. “How long have I been in here? What day is it?” he asked then peered at her, suddenly curious. “When’s your birthday?”
It was such a simple thing, but everyone knew his and yet he didn’t know hers. He wanted to know more about her, there were so many things, simple things that he wanted to know. Her favourite colour, her favourite movie, her favourite song.

It wasn’t hard for Bucky to notice that he had caught Ari off guard, she had stared at his bare torso but he didn’t mind. It actually felt nice that she had stared at him, but he handed her the dirty clothes and took the clean ones from her.
He stepped back into the bathroom and shut the door, changing into the clothes that fitted him pretty well although the hoodie was a bit tighter than he would have liked but he wasn’t going to complain. He was lucky that Ari even had any clothes for him to wear, he left his boots in the bathroom as he didn’t want to get dirt through the apartment and make a mess.
Walking out he went over to where Ari was sitting and joined her, “This looks delicious. Much better than what I’m used to, and thank you for the clothes.” He took a plate of food and was quick to start eating, he was starving as he hadn’t stopped to eat since the morning before the mission.
The hoodie was snug around his biceps so when he moved his arms, his muscles flexing could be seen through the thick material. “You weren’t hurt getting out, right?” He asked her after he had eaten half of his meal already, he looked at her and she didn’t seem to have any injures but he wanted to ask just in case that she was.
“I’m sorry about your cousin,” He whispered softly to her, he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. He couldn’t imagine not being able to see, although it was something that could be worked around and Luka would still live a good life. It would just take time but that could be annoying for anyone, it would be even worse for someone like himself and Luka.
When they had been trained for years to rely on all their senses, now one has been taken away for Luka and that would torture him. He wasn’t sure what else to say to her about her cousin, he couldn’t do anything to help so he wasn’t going to offer his help. He had too much on his plate already, he didn’t need to care about a blind agent that he never got along with in the first place.
“We won’t be able to stay here long, I can’t stay long. Will you come with me?” He asked as he didn’t want to just assume that she would want to go with him, but he was hoping that she would join him.

---

When Grace returned to his room, she noticed his hand was moving down onto the bed and she just knew that he had been prodding his injures. “Steve,” She used her firm doctor voice with him as he couldn’t go around poking at his injures, “If Sam brings you back something you don’t like then I’ll go get you something nice,” She told him with a smile on her face, that was until he refused to use the straw to drink the water.
“You were stabbed and shot three days, you are injured and are being the worst patient ever.” She did smile as she spoke because she couldn’t be mad at him, she has had worse patients then what he was being.
She took the straw out before helping him sip the water, she knew this question was coming. When would he be released? Normally she wouldn’t let a patient leave until she was happy with how the wounds were healing, but Steve did heal faster and she knew how much he disliked being in hospitals.
“At least for another night, I’ll check your wounds tomorrow and decide then. But you still need time to heal completely,” Placing the glass on the table she held onto his hand again, “You were brought in yesterday.” She told him lightly as he did spent a few hours in surgery and then in recovery as well.
“No one could keep me away from being here with you,” Looking at him, the only way she’d leave Steve is if she was kicking and screaming. Or there was another emergency which she hoped there wasn’t for a long time, she was exhausted and so were all the doctors and nurses.
But they couldn’t stop working until everyone was taken care of, there were still agents who were in critical condition. “It’s Sunday now,” She told him lightly, before a wide smile formed on her face and shone through her eyes. “My birthday? 1st of October,” She found it adorable that he was asking her that now, “You should get more rest when you can.” After Sam brought food and Steve had eaten something, she wanted everyone out of his room so he could rest.
“We have time for that later, because I’m never letting you on a mission again.” It wasn’t true, they did have time yes. But she would never stop him from protecting innocent people, but right now that’s how she felt.

Ari looked at the food that he complimented then back at him, smiled softly and thanked him. It wasn’t too extravagant, it was actually pretty normal, but considering he barely ate anything normal at HYDRA this was probably a feast to him in a long while. She watched it swallow the food quickly, and ate her own portion though at a much slower pace. “If you’re still hungry,” she added when she saw him almost finish his meal, “There’s more food in the fridge. Help yourself. Fruit and snacks.”
She tried to keep her gaze in her plate, but the hoodie was snug on him, he moved his arms and it was really obvious where his muscles flexed and when they relaxed. For a brief moment, it even looked like he had two arms, not a metal substitute.
“Oh, yeah, I’m okay.” She divided the food up in her plate, pushing more around rather than actually eating it. “Huh? Luka? Oh.” She shrugged. “Sucks for him.” As much as she was really sad for his loss of vision, she knew now that he wouldn’t be taken back by HYDRA. At worst, they would find him and kill him but there wasn’t anything much that he knew. Just a member of a squad. No biggie. “It’s not too bad. He can still see shapes and light shades, enough to be able to get around. Enough to not be useful to HYDRA.” She had gotten through half of her food but now she was doing even more pushing food around and dividing and organising it into little bits around her plate rather than eating. She was deep in thought, where to go? What to do? She’d need to clear out of here, find a new apartment. She could see this, sure but then what. Who would take her to work? Where would she work? Bills?
Looking up at Barnes, Ari let her shoulders drop and pushed the tense thoughts away. “Where will you go?”’

---

Steve heard the firmness in her voice and had replied, with a soft but small tease, “Grace.”
He shrugged one shoulder, “I am an elderly patient. I will be complex.” He joked, and squinted, finding random strength to lift his forearm of the non-injured arm and wave his finger, “Back in my day!”
The chuckle again had to be restrained, and what started off as a small laugh became a series of heaves and coughs and some teeth clenching as his abs tightened and well, the injuries reminded themselves. “Another night? Horrors.” He couldn’t help himself, his hand moving automatically to rest over his stomach to press down gently on the wounds to ease the pain. He felt weak and horrible and vulnerable. Steve wanted to get up and run around and take Grace to dinner because it was Sunday and he was supposed to go on a date on Saturday and instead he was here in bed in hospital making old-age jokes and wincing at pain in his stomach.
The food Sam brought in was, as Steve feared, something odd alongside something he knew. He ate what he knew first then tasted the odd thing, found it was actually nice and ate that too. He stopped mid-sandwich and looked at her with almost puppy eyes, “Never on a mission?” He blinked for a reason suddenly really concerned that indeed she wouldn’t let him go, but then reason came back and he continued to eat. “You’d have to face Fu-“ He broke off and amended himself, “Whoever is in charge now for that. I doubt they’d put me away.” He frowned, “I hope they don’t.” Memories of stages and pompom girls in skirts and horrible tight suits and saying ridiculous speeches flashed back to him. No, never again. He’ll fight out there or he isn’t Captain America.
Now fed and hydrated, and in a good mood, Steve felt a lot stronger than he had before. Although making movements was still painful, but at least he didn’t feel like a vegetable. “Would you tell me a story, Grace? Something about you.” He glanced at the time. Hopefully she didn’t have to run off anywhere. He wanted to know more about her, while he had the chance, while they were both safe and he was alive.