The Little Things In Our Souls

["Former slave" right in the heart ]

Too long had passed when he hadn't seen her, too many times he turned to go find Rey and rant about whatever thing he was mad over, but stopped short when instead he saw Rita, patiently waiting about and watching and he knew and remembered where he was, and where Rey was, and the distance between them that was coverable only by traveling through a wormhole of sorts. And Rita knew, and Nikolai knew, that Xander had time and trouble to readjust and pick up his work again. Into which he fell head first and forgot about day and night and what even air was until finally he was dragged out by former team members to go fight for some territory. After which he decided to re-establish the pirate crew (they had fallen apart it seemed).

He was beheading some doe-eyed ogre when his earpiece came to life to tell him of urgent news, of Rey. And it was like a new wave of energy flew over him. He had no time for these nonsense pirates, and thus beheading the next five in equal manner, he left his team to finish up and made haste to the base set up by his pirate crew not far from their planet, near which the attack had happened, near which there seemed to be some sort of ambush that his fighters were casually patrolling the area by and saw unfold. It didn't matter what happened, all he knew was that Rey was injured. And she was on a ship of his now.

Half-stumbling half-running, he tripped his way out of the fighter and down the halls to the room in which they kept her, pushing aside a maid and looking Rey over. Her vital signs were fine, but it took another few minutes of the nurses to convince Xander that everything was fine and that he should let her rest and leave, but leave was not in his vocabulary and Xander acted as if he didn't even understand what they were saying, pulled up a chair and sat down. They left him.

He sat by her bed for the rest of the night, waiting for her to wake up, running his gaze over her features and smiling ever so softly now and then. When she stirred, he stood and came closer.

(sorry or am I?)

Rey stirred long enough for her eyes to flutter open, to catch sight of the ship that she was being transported on. Panic would have risen if it wasn't for a strangely comfortable feeling looming round her being. She fell back into her slumber after muttering under her breath. The people carrying her murmured amongst themselves but she was long gone, too far gone to pay attention to anything that they had said.

It wasn't until dawn began to breach the planets nearby that Rey began to stir, letting out a groan as she reached a hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes. She wanted to sleep for the rest of what felt like forever because every fibre of her being was screaming about just how tired she was. Rey didn't last any longer before she was letting out a loud yawn, stretching her arms above her head, only to yelp as a sudden throbbing pain snaked its way up from the spot on her back.

Opening her eyes finally, Rey froze when she spotted Xander. No. That wasn't real. Certainly couldn't be. She must still be sleeping, must just be so far out of her mind, in the depths of sleep, that Rey didn't know that the Xander standing beside her bed was real and he wasn't just part of some sort of morbid dream that she was having.

"Whoever got me," Rey grumbled to herself, rolling onto her side so that she wasn't laying on her wound. "I'm going to get them and oh boy, when I do. I'm going to fucking kill them," she hissed between gritted teeth.

[You're about as sorry as Kylo was when he stabbed his dad ]

“I’m sure you will.” Xander watched her roll over and in the small space freed up, he sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and reached over to lightly touch her side, rubbing gently as he worked his way up to her shoulder. “But first you need to rest. You’re in barely any state to fight.” He couldn’t help but feel amused. Here she was, grumbling away about her assaulters, without even recognising him. She had barely changed. As for her ambushers (or so he had gathered in information from the ones that found her), they had seemingly escaped, and nobody knew of their whereabouts and looks. It seemed only Rey would know. At least, he hoped. He too would like to hunt them down like animals.

She must be thinking she’s still asleep, he decided then. The little smirk carved into his features and he leaned down, pressing a small kiss to the skin on her side that had become exposed while he was rubbing little patterns of soothing. “Come on now, Rey, wakey wakey.” He raised a brow and looked down at her. “What’s this, no greetings to your favourite buddy?” God he hated that word, but whatever woke her up would work – surely. If that wasn’t enough, he prodded her side and gave it a small pinch. “Rey.”

(wait, what? Kylo was super sorry!!! )

Rey's eyes slipped shut and she was positive she was still dreaming then so she paid no mind to the words falling from Xander's lips. She was exhausted, ready to go right back to sleep but then there were lips kissing her in ways she had only ever allowed one person to do and her eyes were shooting open. A small grin found its way onto her features because she realized she was awake then - that this wasn't some sort of joke that her mind was deciding to play on her. "Of all the ways I thought I would be reunited with you, buddy," Rey mumbled before gingerly rolling onto her other side so that she could face him. Her brows pulled together in confusion as she looked up to him, reaching one hand out to set on Xander's thigh. Feeling his leg beneath her was all the verification she needed to know he was real.

"What? I have to get shot before you'll see me again?" Rey teased lightly as she looked up to him, setting her other hand beneath her head. She gave a lopsided grin. "Not that I'm not happy to see you but how the hell did I end up here? More importantly, why are you here? Don't you have some planet to win back or something?"

[Of course, of course :') ]

Finally, she responded, and Xander grinned right back at her as she rolled onto her side to look up at him. Of all the ways indeed. Of course, this wasn't one way he would have liked - because it meant her injured, but she seemed fine, so there was no reason to worry anymore. Xander felt her hand rest on his thigh for a moment, and was tempted to lie down beside her, but as she spoke he could feel the mischief creep back into him. Wounded or not, he'd have a joke around. He sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, sacrificing her touch for a bit of laughs, putting a hand to his chin as he feigned a look of deep most thought. "That appears to be true, let's see, maybe if you get shot again I'll just have to take my clothes off to wrap those wounds." He smirked and glanced down at her.

"I do indeed. I was finishing up on a planet when some of my scouts ran onto you. And your uh," he waved his hand in some direction, meaning that the rest of her crew had no chance. "They told me some jedi girl was knocked out. Naturally, I thought it'd be you." He trailed off and looked at her, "Do you know who it was? I assume they escaped."

The pain in her back wasn't something that she could completely ignore but it was nothing compared to the initial pain the first time that she had truly fought Kylo. She had launched herself off a cliff and the sabre had caught her in the side. Now that was what pain truly felt like. She didn't think that anything would ever compare to it. At least now she knew what to expect. Back then, she had been clueless and had no idea what she had gotten herself into. Now she was trained, she was prepared, ready for whatever was coming her way. Or as much as she possibly could be.

Rolling her eyes at Xander's comment, Rey winced as she leaned up so that she could prop her head in her palm. She looked to him, her eyes narrowing a bit as she considered the attackers. "No." The answer she gave was unsatisfactory but she had no answer to provide, there was no point in lying about it, was there? "They attacked from behind, I didn't see them," she paused again, her brows pulling together in confusion.

"Are there any survivors? Anyone who made it?" Rey asked, her voice growing quiet as her gaze flickered to the floor. She certainly hoped so. She had been the one in charge and if no one had survived, that was all on her. Particularly because she had been so careless and had let herself fall.

Xander considered her question, "No." And after a small pause added, "None that were found." It was likely they were all killed, but also likely that some could have been taken hostage to be tortured for information. Whoever these attackers were, if Rey was going against them then they were most likely from the Empire, and that meant nothing good for Rey and her unfortunate group. Though it left a lot unexplained - why would they leave her? Did they assume her dead? Surely they were not that stupid. He uncrossed his legs and leaned in a little. "What were you doing there? What was the mission?" If he knew some information, then perhaps he would have a clue on who the attackers were, or at any rate, a lead to find them.

Of course, it all depended on the secrecy to which Rey was sworn. As he was no longer a direct assistant of the Rebellion, Xander highly doubted Leia would easily give out information to him, the broker of information, the one who sold it for high prices with little regard for to whom and from whom it was sold, and the amount of danger it could put whoever else in. So very little care.

It had taken a while, but he had organised his mind together and recovered all that he could from his memories. Xander spent quite a good amount of time restarting his career, alongside joining up his old crew. Balancing the two jobs was sometimes quite strenuous but it paid off, and it paid well. And it gave him the sense of security in control over his own power and state of mind. He was calm. Perhaps not happy, without Rey, but calm.

Rey sighed as she listened to Xander speak. All too quickly he was asking about the mission and the why, the how and she knew she couldn't give him the answers that he was seeking. As badly as she wanted to, she simply couldn't. In part because of her loyalties to the Resistance but mostly? Mostly because she couldn't drag Xander back into the mess that her life currently was, she couldn't tell him and have him going off to exact a revenge that wasn't his to begin with. Immediately, that thought was followed with how ridiculous the concern was. Xander would never do that, she was almost sure of it.

"No," Rey forced the word out, shaking her head as she turned to lay on her stomach. At least this way she wasn't staring at him and didn't have to register whatever emotions she was sure would flit across his features. They would be there, only detectable if you knew him well enough, and they would be gone the next moment.

"I'm not bringing you back into any of this. You were dragged in way further than you ever should have been and I'm not being responsible for it again." Rey spoke as if it was the most simple answer ever because to her? It was. She had spent countless hours wondering exactly where she had gone wrong and she decided that it must have been when she didn't end the relationship directly after they found Luke. If she had, if she hadn't allowed others to push so hard, Xander would have never lost himself. Xander would have been their for his mother and he would have never missed her death. All because she had been selfish and stupid and - no. Not in front of him.

Shaking her head, Rey pushed herself up so that she could bring her legs up beneath her. "Doesn't matter. I'll get it sorted out as soon as possible."

No. Just like that he was out of the loop. He could stay in, force his way into her mind no doubt he would still overpower her, overwhelm her, but damage her mind in the process - it was not worth it. Just like that, his shoulders dropped a little, his head inclined a slight fraction of a degree both forward and right at the same time, his eyes lowering, narrowing a millimeter, his brows twitching into a formation of despair, and then as quickly as it had come he was in control. He sat back, putting his feet up on her bed and folding his arms, rolling a shoulder back in mild irritation at the displeasure of being denied an answer he sought. He listened to her and couldn't help the smirk that carved into his lips.

"You'll sort it out? Do tell me how. You have no ship, you have no crew, no communication and no money. How are you going to get back to the Rebellion? You are," he gestured to the side, "Quite stranded." He put a hand to his chin and eyed her for a moment, watching as she curled into the ball. "Consider this a payment to get you back to your Rebel friends. You tell me what you were doing and what happened, and I ship you home on your merry way. If you don't wish to tell me, that's fine, but you'll be stuck here." Xander smiled wryly. "Not that I mind." He put his feet on the edge of the bed and pushed a little, rocking the chair back on to its two back legs, clicking his tongue. "You seem to forget, I am a sellsword as well as a broker of information. If you desire to know what the purpose of those... maybe-assassins was, how they knew your location, what not, I am the one who will be most likely to get it from them."

Simply, if she would not tell him what her mission is, he would not help her home and he would then find out himself. Or, she could pay him some good coin (the finance was struggling after his disappearance), and he will also bring to her more information. Outside of the Rebellion. Personal. Because after all, this wasn't to help the rebellion, it was merely to satisfy his own interests - and perhaps in that adventure also satisfy her questions.

Rey had gotten better at keeping her temper in check, better at keeping herself in control even in situations that pressed her buttons in all the wrong ways but it seemed that with Xander standing in front of her, being the one that was actively pressing buttons, that it was a whole new ball game for her. Her eyes narrowed as she shoved herself into a sitting position, ignoring the pain that seared up her back. She had suffered before, just as she was suffering now. She would be fine, this was nothing. "Xander," she tested the name on her tongue, unwilling to admit just how bitter it tasted. It had been so long since Rey last saw him and it wasn't as if they had parted on the best of terms. The past few months had been hard on her, there had been ups and downs, but she had at least made progress when it came to Xander. The name didn't make her heart lurch and pound, wanting so badly to burst through her chest. But standing in front of him? Rey was so completely lost.

"Do not try to threaten me," Rey's voice came out sounding a whole lot stronger than she felt, she was surprised that her voice didn't even shake. She swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat before turning away from him. Her eyes narrowed as her hands balled at her sides.

"I am more than positive that without me having made that fuckin' reckless decision to find you, that you would still be under Snoke's influence. That you would have still been going around, killing who he told you to, obeying each and every word that he spoke to you. Does that not count as payment?" Rey paused, tilting her head to the side. She knew she was being harsh but it seemed that Xander didn't remember and so maybe if she reminded him... "Or have you already forgotten about everything I've done for you?"

"Threaten?" Xander echoed, glancing at her. He laughed a little and shook his head. "No, no. I am not threatening, I'm making you an offer. You think the Rebellion will send out forces to find these assassins and try extract information from them? They won't and if they do, they will. Use me. It's the thing I do best." He folded his arms then, listening as she spoke but not taking any to heart or to consideration. How highly unfair of her to bring up the past, the things they did for each other. When she stopped he raised an eyebrow. As much as he wanted to point out the lightsabre that she now wielded, the skills that she had picked up, - sure Luke asked him to to teach her, but Xander could have willingly said no and that would have been that. Instead, he agreed. But deciding not to use the same tactic of hers against her and then scold her for it, he simply shrugged.

"I always thought you did it from the heart, as I had done for you and your training, among many other things. Unless I am mistaken...?" His calm voice trailed off, glancing over at her from his feet.

No, she was wrong. He wouldn't have been doing the killing. He wouldn't even know. Clarensis would be in charge, and Clarensis would rejoice in it. Xander wouldn't have died, so he did not think he owed Rey his life. He would simply ceased to be. But here he was.

"If that offer doesn't appeal to you, my older offer is always open." Xander lowered his feet from the bed onto the floor and stood, "You're welcome to join me. Anytime. That door will always be open."

"The resistance cannot afford to pay you whatever you'll ask as payment," Rey answered simply. They were hurting for money and for fighters and for so much that Rey wouldn't even consider such an option. She would leave it and if she just so happened upon the information that she was after, that would be lovely but until then? She would just have to let it be. There was a price on her head, Rey knew, so assassins after her wasn't anything particularly surprising. Or it shouldn't have been, anyway.

Rey's shoulders sagged as he spoke. She realized that she had jumped the gun, accusing him of things that he had never intended. She shrugged after a moment, picking at the edge of her shirt. "I wouldn't have gone on a suicide mission if it was for any other reason," she started, letting out a dry chuckle as her eyes found his from beneath her lashes. "You would never believe the amount of shit I had to deal with from Luke and from Leia... Chewy wasn't too keen on it either. Han secretly highfived me," she said, her lips twisting into a smirk at the thought. "Said he was proud of me for being just as brazen as he was."

"How's Rita?" Rey asked after a moment, tilting her head to the side. She was nowhere near ready to make such a decision so she decided to take the attention off of her and focus it on the woman who had so loyally stuck by her side. She wasn't so sure that without Rita to fend off Luke and Leia, that her helping Xander would have been as easy as it had been. "She was about as happy as I've ever seen her when I told her that you were doing better."

"Then the Resistance is worse off than I last remember." He wondered how much they were losing, how much they had already lost. Was this a futile war? Surely they should have attempted direct assaults, and sent Rey in to kill Kylo or Hux or Snoke numerous times. Why were they stalling and sending her on small insignificant quests? Xander didn't think he would ever understand them and left it at that.

"From Luke, I can imagine." Xander couldn't help but roll his eyes with a smile that said I pity you because the cause was me. Leia he didn't really know, but it seemed she did not think him worthy of Rey risking her life and who the hell was Chewy? Han? He put it down to missing memories but for the life of him couldn't even conjure up a face or association to those names. Han did seem to be cool though, and Xander imagined Rey high-fiving some blurry-faced man. "You need more people like him. Too many uptight and strict ones." He chuckled.

"Rita? I think you broke her." He stood and moved tp take a jug of water and pour a glass for himself and one for Rey. "I think I caught a hint of a smile on her the other day. If she was happy, she certainly did not show it during our training." He passed the glass to Rey, rubbing the side of his neck in recall of a recent fight, and there was a small bruise at the base of it, where Rita had mercilessly hit him with a stick during their practice and thus beheaded him. He had lain on the floor quite stunned for a while, looking at the ceiling. "She's cleaning up my messes on a plane we took back but she should be back soon, if you wish to see her."

At the mention of Rita smiling, Rey couldn't have fought the smile that broke out onto her features. She leaned forward, nodding slowly. "Good. That's good," she answered quietly, her eyes flicking down to the floor for the briefest of moments before he looked back up to Xander. Rey let out a quiet sigh as she sipped at the glass of water in her hand, eyeing the liquid. "Rita feels things, even if she'll never admit to having emotions. She just needs to know it's okay." Rey had surmised about the girl time and time again and to her, the words she spoke were true. It was the only sort of thing that made any even remote sense.

As if on cue, Rey's stomach growled and she huffed in a weak attempt to cover up the noise. She looked up to Xander and flashed a small grin as she pushed to her feet. "S'alright if we grab something to eat? It's been a little too long since I had anything worth eating," she said quietly.

Rey moved toward Xander and offered her hand after setting the glass of water down on the table beside him. "Maybe if Rita gets back soon enough we can all spar together," she paused, unable to hide the grin that sparked onto her features. "I've always wondered if I could take the both of you on. What do you think?"

"Rita's emotions are in her fighting. Once you spend years with her, you'll learn to read it." Xander recalled all the times he fought her, even of late, he still was able to read it. If she hit in one manner, she was angry, and if in another - bored, but never any weaker. He had seen her take on a group of fighters like it was a daily thing, take on some other challenger and have a hard time but never reveal the emotion, only in her strikes, her stance. He took Rey's hand and helped her up.

"No," Xander put his hand on Rey's head and ruffled her hair, looking forward as he walked to the door, "You are to starve here. I am the only thing you ever need to taste." Xander winked and smirked, and opened the door, stepping out of the room. He lead the way down a hall, bypassing the common dinning room and straight to the kitchen. There he ordered a chef to whip something up for Rey and sat down on a barstool while they waited. "You versus us two? Not a chance." He was amused, and did briefly consider the possibility of her winning, but it was slight in his opinion. "Where I lack, Rita makes up. And where she lacks, I make up. I would be interested though. What would I get if we win?" He raised a brow. The chef set a hot steaming pile of food in front of Rey.

@ varkatzas.

Rey nodded along as Xander spoke of Rita, taking his hand gratefully as he helped her to her feet. The thanks was forgotten the moment he spoke again, a scowl replacing the smile that had threatened to break out on her features. Her eyes narrowed but she said nothing, following after him all too eagerly. She was sure whoever the chef was, that he would be more than capable of providing her with a good meal. It had been too long since she had had the luxury, all too focused on the advances in the war. Little, subtle ones that would be ignored until the time was right to force the war in their direction.

"You'd get the luxury of your ego growing even bigger," Rey quipped with a roll of her eyes. A hint of a smile ghosted across her lips as she shrugged. "Name your price... perhaps instead it should be Rita and I against you. You could handle that, right? Being a big man and all.." sh trailed off with a quiet laugh. "It should be nothing more than a nice, little workout for you."

Rey's attention was pulled away from the conversation, directed toward the steaming pile of food placed in front of her. She thanked the chef quickly, pulling the food to her and hunching over it. She still had yet to get ovr th fact that no one would try to steal her food. Letting out a groan, Rey leaned even closer to the food so that less time would be spent shoveling it into her mouth. After a few moments, Rey tossed a lopsided grin in Xander's direction. "Go on. Name your price."

"My ego growing?" He echoed and smirked. "ouch." Though her next suggestion made the smirk falter even if for the tiniest of seconds. He looked away in thought. A workout? No, that it would not be. Rita was trained to kill him, she knew every little weakness of his.

"My own student and one trained to kill me, hardly seems fair." He drummed his fingers on the table, considering it. Was it realistic? He had a chance to lose. Which meant he would fight tooth and nail and not hold back, anything to win. It could get quite heated. Someone could be injured. Xander waved to the chef and ordered something strong from the drinks. Once given, he took a shot and rubbed the side of his neck.

"Fine. You two against me. If I win, you better do whatever I choose you to." He grinned lopsidedly, "Rita is trained to kill me. This should be easy for you to do no work."

(xander is u trying to be killed or..?)

Rey's triumphant grin was wiped away the moment that Xander made a dig at her. Her eyes narrowed and she gripped the edge of her plate to pull it even closer, all the while her eyes were trained on Xander. "Maybe you should hire a servant, you'll be needing to rest up after we beat you down," Rey answered back, her head tilting to the side. "Don't get too excited just yet, little buddy."

Finishing off the remaining scraps of food, Rey stood and let out a sigh as she stretched her arms above her head. She had to force back a groan as her back was stretched. She couldn't help but grin, looking over to Xander with a raised eyebrow. "I am injured so that means I just have to work a little harder to beat you. Might make your job a little easier, unfortunately."

Turning on her heel, Rey began to lead the way out of the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks suddenly, spinning around to face Xander. Her eyes widened, searching his face. "Is... did my sabre make it?" Such a silly little question in the grande scheme of things and yet it was her little piece that she could take wherever she went that made her feel like maybe she had a chance to make the world a better place.

"A servant?" Xander closed his eyes and tilted his head back a little, smirking teasingly. "Ah, I know one. She's pretty, and I love it when she bends over." He hummed softly and cracked open an eye to peer at Rey, to see if she were annoyed or ticked, because there was no servant that he had in mind except Rey dressed in some maid clothing. Oh yeah, he'd like to see that. "Maybe I should lose on purpose." It'd be a problem and pain to get Rey to dress anything like that though, she just didn't seem the type - but who was he to say anything?

"And I happen to lack an arm," he wiggled a finger, "Doesn't stop me."

He stood and followed her, hovering near but keeping a small distance so that he wasn't hugging her or anything - however when she stopped suddenly he was walking close enough that he almost walked right over her. Putting his hands out, Xander grabbed her shoulders lightly to prevent her from falling as he stumbled in an attempt to slow down and not crash into her but doing exactly that on a small scale. He teetered back. "Took a little damage, but nothing my crew can't fix, they're working on. Just the casing, nothing bad." He looked at Rey, finding it adorable how she cared so much about such a thing. "Alright princes, let's go on. Where are we headed?"