We Ain't Ever Getting Older

"Leave it alone, Sammy. Some things are better left alone," Dean muttered, letting out a sigh as he kicked off his shoes by the bed. He wasted no time in dropping onto the bed face first. He was quiet for a long moment, reaching to knead the skin of his neck before he finally rolled over just as Sam began to speak again.

"Okay then. I was just trying to help, there's no need to get so mad at me," Sam muttered under his breath, holding his hands up in an attempt at a peace offering. Dean's eyes narrowed a bit as he sat up but before he could speak, Sam took the opening.

Sam began to go over a case that seemed to be somewhat suspicious, Dean only agreed with Sam after considering the options. "Do you think it's fine if we wait until the morning to leave or should we head out now?" He asked after a moment, tilting his head to the side.

Raelynn’s eyes widened as the question of if they should leave now or in the morning arose. “We can leave now,” She blurted out, all too eagerly. This action caused Sam to look at her, concern etched onto his face. She needed a distraction, a way to stop thinking about what Dean had told her. She needed something to keep her from pushing Sam out of that room and showing Dean exactly what it was he was missing.

Rae ran a hand through her hair, “I just—I just wanna get outta here ya know? We haven’t been out in a couple of days an…” She could tell that Sam was starting to pick up on the fact that something had happened. She didn’t really want to talk to him about it… Mostly because Dean had already told him to drop it.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows at her, briefly wanting to ask if everything was okay. He ultimately decided against it and spoke out, “Rae, I thought we all agreed we were gonna chill for a couple of days?”

Raelynn sighed, crossing her arms and looking away from him. “Fine.”

Dean grit his teeth when Raelynn jumped at the opportunity to leave. He knew exactly why she was so damn eager to leave and just by the way that Sam's shoulders sagged, Dean knew that his brother was picking up on the tension that was growing between Dean and Rae.

He let out a ragged sigh as he turned away from them, running a hand through his hair. Pushing himself off the table, Dean stalked toward the table that Sam was sitting at. He produced a pamphlet for a local pizza join and called it, placing an order without even bothering to ask either of them what they may want because it was always the same. Living a life like this, sometimes it was better to play it safer than sorry.

Dean dropped back onto the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. He studied the floor for a moment before speaking.

"We'll leave after we eat. Minus well get out of here," Dean muttered as he flopped backward on the bed. "The food should be here in no time."

Raelynn’s stomach growled at the mention of food. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until Dean had mentioned it. She looked over in Dean’s direction. She wanted to laugh at how awkward the grown man was being. Raelynn looked at Sam, annoyance written all over her face. Sam shook his head at Raelynn, in a silent attempt to keep her from saying anything.

Raelynn rolled her eyes at Sam, standing up and pushing the chair backwards. She went over to the bed that Dean was laying on and sat down on the edge of it. She looked at him, and when he immediately looked away from her she let out a laugh.

“Dean,” She mumbled. “I have a proposition for you. I can tell you don’t wanna leave today. So, after we eat pizza, if you go get a six pack and take me to the hot tub for an hour or so we can leave in the morning.”

Dean turned away from Raelynn the moment he looked in her direction. He had had enough with the awkward conversations they needed to have, he didn't need to have more awkward eye contact. Nope. He was more than through with it. He just wanted the food to arrive so he could eat and they could get back on the job. The sooner they were working, the sooner they didn't have to worry about the stubborn drama between them.

"Is that so?" Dean finally asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced toward Raelynn finally. "You literally just said not thirty seconds ago that you wanted to leave and now you want to stay? Would you make up your damned mind."

Sighing, Dean shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. "Let's get some progress made, at least. We'll make it a few towns over that way we don't have so much distance to cross in the morning."

“Well, fuck sorry. Was just trying to keep you happy…” Raelynn pushed herself off the bed and made her way back to the chair. She was over trying to keep the peace and find a middle ground with Dean. She shrugged her shoulders at Sam as she sat down. “I guess that sounds like a good idea. We’ll be able to have actual breakfast in the morning instead of rushing around.”

Raelynn decided that her next move was just to agree with every little thing Dean had to say. She decided it was a safer alternative and it may dissolve some of the tension between the pair of them. She honest to God couldn’t stand the tension anymore. When there was a knock on the door, Raelynn stood up to answer it.

“Oh, hey.” She smiled at the pizza boy, who was standing there awkwardly.

“Uhm, yes ma’am.” He greeted her. He began to ramble off what they had ordered and Rae bobbed her head along in agreement. She paid the boy and closed the door, bringing the pizza over to the table.

Dean let out a groan of relief when a knock sounded on the other side of the door. He stood, padding over to the table Raelynn had set the pizza on. He wasted no time in snatching up a slice, along with the fries that he ordered. When it came to pizza, he'd always felt the need to pile fries on top because there was just something about it that made the food seem so much better.

He settled into a chair at the table, his attention focused on his food until he finally finished. Washing down the food with a sip of his root beer, Dean looked over to his companions with a small nod.

Dean stood and began to gather their belongings while the other two finished eating. He took the luggage out to the car where he dropped them into the back seat behind the driver's seat so that Raelynn would have to sit behind Sam. Hopefully. Unless they decided to do the old switch around.

Knocking on the threshold, Dean leaned his head inside of the room. "You guys ready to go?"

Raelynn had just finished eating her last slice of pizza when Dean came knocking on the door. “Yeah,” she spoke through a mouth full of food. “One sec.”

Sam grimaced at her actions, shaking his head as he stood up to throw the trash away. “You are so disgusting some times.”

“You know you love it, Sam.” Raelynn teased as she finished.

The trio made their way out to the vehicle. Rae was half tempted to call shot gun but with Dean’s temperament lately, she really didn’t want to push her look. Sam looked at her strangely, “Really? No battle for the front seat today?”

Raelynn shook her head as Sam opened the passenger’s door and moved the seat up so she could crawl in the back. She dug around in the luggage, producing one of Dean’s pillows he had carried with him. “Dean, can I use this?”

Dean was all too happy to be back on the road. He didn't really have a home but if there was anything that felt as close to one as he could get, it was certainly the Impala. He was safe inside of it because no creature would dare try to climb inside of it. He had worked over the years to slowly ensure that fact.

Lost in his thought, Dean jumped when Raelynn spoke up from the back seat. He looked in the rearview mirror to see what she was talking about. His eyes locked onto hers for a moment before he nodded. "Go for it. Just try not to drool on the damn thing."

Leaning forward, Dean turned the radio on just loud enough that he could hear it without causing too much of a disturbance if either Rae or Sam wanted to catch some sleep while they could.

Raelynn settled the pillow where she needed it to be and tried her hardest to fall asleep. Soon enough she was slipping away. However, she was only half asleep when she started to hear the boys talking in the front.

Sam turned around just to make sure that Raelynn was still for sure asleep. He had been wanting to talk to Dean for a few days now. Rae and Dean’s behavior was becoming increasingly more and more distracting. He turned to his brother and spoke in a hushed voice. “Dean, you guys have got to figure something out because I am so tired of being in the middle of all the bickering. You have been trying so hard to act like you aren’t still in love with her and she’s trying to do the same damn thing.”

Dean looked in the rearview mirror, a small frown on his lips as he watched the girl in the back seat. He relaxed when he decided she had to be asleep. He glanced over to Sam, running a hand through his hair before he looked away. "I don't... I can't. I'll tell you what I told her," he whispered, letting out a sigh before he readjusted in his seat. "Dad lost Mom, you lost Jess. This world is too damn dangerous, you get close to someone and you lose them. I don't want to turn into Dad with kids being raised in this..." he trailed off with a shrug of his shoulders.

It was something he had thought about for the longest time so it wasn't as if he hadn't considered it. "It's not right to her or to me to put ourselves in that position." He chewed on his bottom lip before letting out a ragged exhale.

"And there's literally nothing you can say to convince me otherwise."

“Dean, haven’t you already figured out just how close you and Rae already are?” Sam snapped. “If you want to push Raelynn away and keep her at an arm’s length—you need to let her go. You can’t continue to play these little mind games.”

Sam ran a hand through his hair, looking out the window. He watched the scenery pass by and shook his head. He could feel that Dean was getting increasingly angry, but at this point, he didn’t care. “She’s like family to me Dean. And you’re my brother. I am so tired of watching the both of you be so damn miserable.”

Raelynn clenched her eyes, trying to force the jumbled voices of the two boys up front out of her brain. She turned over in the back seat, snuggling her face into the pillow once more. She wanted nothing more than to just sleep and ignore everything else that was going on around them until they got to their next destination.

Dean gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to slam on the brakes. He wanted nothing more than to turn awake, demand that Raelynn wake up, and just rip into the two of them. They were being ridiculous, as far as he was concerned. Why was it so hard for either of them to realize that this was for the best? Because they both thought with their emotions more than anything else, more than their heads. That responsibility fell to his shoulders and sometimes, most of the time, Dean hated it.

"What would you rather I do?" Dean hissed as he turned to look at Sam. He leveled his brother with a hard look before turning his attention back to the road in front of him.

"We just drop her off and she goes to live on her own? That sure as hell will put her into even more danger. You can't convince me of any different. You can't tell me you honestly think her being off on her own would be better. At least now..." Dean trailed off, letting out a groan as he ran a hand through his hair. "At least we can watch over her like this."

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother. The funny thing to Sam was, he knew that Dean thought that he and Raelynn were being the childish ones. Sam ran a hand through his hair, bringing it back down to rest on his thigh. He looked back at Dean once more, “You just need to figure out how you are going to feel when she finds someone else Dean. You can’t keep her from being happy forever. That would just be more selfish than what you are already doing.”

---

Raelynn sat on the bed in the hotel room, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked back and forth between the two brothers. She could feel the tension. Had something happened in the car while she had been asleep? She remembered hearing their voices speaking, but they were two low to truly come through her unconscious brain.

“So….” Raelynn drawled out awkwardly. She pressed her lips in a hard line, deciding to come out and ask. “Is everything okay between you two? You’re more pissy than normal.”

To her surprise, Sam was the one to speak up. “Rae, drop it.”

Dean had wanted all too badly to find some shitty cafe still open so that he could get a cup of coffee or even a gas station. Anything would have been better than stopping in the town that he'd hit and having to be holed up in a damn motel room with his idiot brother and with... no. He wasn't going down that route. Not right now.

Sam finally stopped talking and that had the horrible affect of leaving him to his own thoughts. What he was doing was childish, he couldn't deny that. He couldn't, even if all he wanted to do was argue the fact. But just because he realized his brother was right didn't mean that he was going to open his mouth and admit that to any of them.

Sitting on the bed closest to the door, Dean had propped his feet up and was glaring at the wall ahead. His eyes shot over to Raelynn, opening his mouth to speak, only to be surprised when his brother spoke up.

"Sam's just pissy that he's not getting his way," Dean grumbled under his breath. "That's all there is to it."

Raelynn rolled her eyes at the two boys, hoping that her facial expression wasn’t detected. She had a horrible habit of rolling her eyes—something Dean always got frustrated with… As Rae sat there, the silence washing over them all, she started to wonder if maybe there was something she could have done different. Been stronger or more independent; that way Dean didn’t need to feel the way he did. Albeit, it was done and over with. Like he had said, that was the way things needed to go.

With a silent huff, Raelynn pushed herself up from the chair and made her way over to her bag. She grabbed some clothes and snuck off to the bathroom in order to change. She washed her face and brushed her teeth, trying to make herself feel not so miserable. When she reappeared from the bathroom, she dropped her clothes on her bag. She snatched her blanket off the bed that Dean was laying on and made her way over to Sam.

“Scoot over, lumberjack.” She mumbled as she crawled onto the other side of the bed. There was no way in hell she would be laying in the oldest Winchester’s bed that night.

Dean had rolled onto his side with his back to Sam as Raelynn disappeared into the bathroom. His eyes closed, his hands propped beneath his head. He was intent on falling asleep but the sounds coming from the bathroom had kept him awake or so he had managed to convince himself. He was waiting for the familiar sensation of Raelynn climbing into bed beside him, even if he wouldn't be facing her. Even if he wouldn't be acknowledging her, it was a feeling that comforted him because if she was there, she was as safe as she could get as far as he was concerned.

Tension began to ease from his being as the bathroom door opened, his eyes opening just barely enough that he could watch her figure move about the room. It only returned moments later when Rae jerked the blanket from the bed and made her way over to Sam's bed. His teeth ground together but he managed to keep his composure.

Sam looked up with a small frown, shuffling over without a word of argument. He let out a sigh as he looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. "I think Dean's sleeping, do you want to talk about anything?"

Raelynn looked up at Sam with a sad smile. She cocooned herself into her blanket, shrugging her shoulders at him. Raelynn mulled it over in her mind for a few moments. Maybe talking to someone about what was going through her mind might help the healing process. She let out a small sigh. “I dunno, Sam…” She bit her bottom lip briefly as she thought about what to say. Bits and pieces from different conversations she had with Dean played over and over in her mind. But then again there were good memories, memories that she just couldn’t let go of.

Raelynn let out a strained huff, wiling herself not too get too emotional. Sam always had that effect on her. He was always able to coax whatever it is that was bothering her right out. She looked up to see his yes staring back down at her expectantly. “I just don’t see how he can’t see how this is killing me.” She said quietly with a small laugh. “I love that idiot so damn much Sam. So much I just need to get away. It’s like being strung along perpetually forever and ever.”

Raelynn shook her head, her eyes flicking downward once more. “I just don’t understand how its so easy for him to be with out me. Like I know we all live together and shit but—just knowing Dean doesn’t love me that way anymore is just…” She sighed. “Let’s just forget it and go to sleep.”

Sam knew all too well how his brother would react if he rolled over and saw the way Sam's arms slipped around Raelynn's shoulders. He began to absentmindedly play with her hair in an attempt to help ease her nerves. He knew just how emotional she was, even if she was doing her damn best to keep herself in control. You didn't live with someone day in and day out without learning about what made them tick. It just didn't work that way.

"I know you do, Rae," Sam spoke quietly, trying to ease her mind off of things but by the strain in her voice, he knew there was little hope at all. He let out a ragged sigh and moved away from her, propping his head up on his outstretched palm. "But he loves you. He's a fucking idiot when it comes to this sort of thing because he can get any girl he wants - maybe he doesn't realize it now but he honestly thinks you'll always be there when he decides to settle down."

Sam frowned as he looked away from her, his eyes closing for just a moment before he refocused his attention on her. "If you need out, I'll help you. Dean will probably kill me but I've said that a thousand times before. If this means helping you, so be it."

Raelynn closed her eyes and relaxed as Sam played with her hair. She listened to his words, trying to allow them to ease her mind. With her eyes closed, she wondered what it would be like to be back with Dean. She shook her head, the same sad smile dawning her face as she peered back up at Sam.

“Yeah, but what if I am not there when he wants to settle down, Sam?” She huffed once more. She pressed her palm to her eye, rubbing away the few tears that silently escaped. “I don’t want to wait around forever. I want to get on with my life. Don’t I get to be happy too?”

Raelynn’s heart clenched at Sam’s words. Sure she had threatened it, but would she really be able to follow through? Would she be able to make it through with out them? She spoke lowly, her eyes trained on a spot on the wall just past Sam’s head. “If I go anywhere I want to go back to Bobby’s. I still want to help.”