I Know It Breaks Your Heart

"Everybody walks the plank!" Maddy exclaimed. She giggled as Zacky declared her the winner, her giggles escalating into an excited squeal as he dove into the pool and showered her with water.

Seeing her little girl so happy just made Emily's heart swell. It also made her a little sad, because seeing Zacky interact so easily with their daughter only served to make her realize what she'd walked away from. If she hadn't let her pride get in the way all of those years ago, they could be a family. Emily pulled herself out of her thoughts when she heard Zacky speak, looking over at Maddy with a grin. "Why yes, Zack, I think that's an excellent idea," she said. Emily scooped up Maddy, holding her gently against her chest. "I think the princess should have to walk the plank too, don't you?" Emily teased. Maddy shook her head wildly. "Alright, well then Mr. Zack can just tickle you."

"No, Mommy, no!" Maddy shouted, kicking her little legs.

Zacky crouched forward, his hands held out in a classic claw state as he swam toward Emily and Maddy. He grinned, tilting his head to the side as he inched ever closer to the duo. Just as she was about to reach out to tickle Maddy, he heard the distinct sound of two vehicles pulling up his drive way. There was an immediate change in Zacky's demeanor, his shoulders pulling together, the smile falling from his face. His brows pulled together, his head snapping to the side. Immediately, Zacky swam for the ladder by the deep end of the pool. He chanced a look over his shoulder, hoping his look told Emily exactly what he needed it to. To stay put, to stay as quiet as she could get Maddy to.

Wordlessly, Zacky disappeared through the sliding glass door and into his house. He hesitated, wondering if he should grab a weapon before answering the door but he decided against it, not wanting to raise more alarms than necessary. He knew that it was an unexpected visit, his schedule had been cleared for today. So whoever it was, Zacky was sure that it was going to be an unpleasant experience.

Emily grinned as Zacky advanced on Maddy. She was so happy right now, just spending time with Maddy and Zacky like everything was normal. And then just like that, it was over. The change in Zacky's demeanor was more than obvious to Emily and even to the little girl in her arms. Emily raised her finger to her lips, signaling to Maddy to be quiet as Zacky headed into the house. She waited only a few seconds before she carried Maddy out of the pool, draping the toddler in a towel to keep her warm against the slight breeze blowing. Emily didn't dare follow Zacky inside the house; she knew whoever was here wasn't expected and she didn't want to insert herself or Maddy into a volatile situation.

"Who's here, Mommy?" Maddy asked, her voice a loud whisper.

"I don't know who's here, baby," Emily answered. "But we've got to stay out here and stay quiet until they leave, okay?" Emily led Maddy to the porch, out of view of the sliding back door and the windows. She knew the unexpected visitors had something to do with Zacky's job and it made her a little upset, probably because until now, she'd never had to deal with it face to face. It had been the reason she'd walked away from Zacky, but until now it had been something that had happened behind the scenes. And never when Maddy was anywhere near.

Zacky was left entirely unsure of what he was feeling when his unexpected guests had departed. He was angry for the intrusion having interrupted his time with Maddy and Emily. He had been enjoying himself, almost enough to forget that this wasn't an every day reality. That after Emily's apartment was fumigated, he would be unlikely to see them again. It put too much of a risk on them. And as much as he wanted to be in their lives, he wasn't about to put that on them. It simply wasn't fair, it would be far too selfish on his part.

He slammed the door shut after watching the car retreat back out of his driveway. His shoulders heaved with the effort of the breathe he let out. Running a hand through his hair, Zacky let out a curse as he retreated to the stairs to make his way back up to his office. Fingers flew along Zacky made a quick phone call, leaving Brian and Matt with strict instructions to keep on the look out, to make sure no one came up on them. Retaliation would occur on the threats made but that would come later, for the time being he had to keep Emily and Maddy as oblivious as he could.

Pulling the sliding door open, Zacky offered a brilliant smile as he looked over to the pair sitting close to the door. "Why don't we get all washed up and maybe if you're good, we can make some popcorn and watch a movie?" He suggested, raising an eyebrow as he looked down to Maddy. "What do you think?" He asked, turning his gaze up to meet Emily's.

It was nearly twenty minutes before the sliding door opened again and Zacky stepped outside. Emily was glad to see that he didn't seem too upset, but she could still sense the tension lingering beneath the surface. "I think that sounds fantastic, don't you?" Emily said, eager to get inside. Zacky's unexpected visitors had her feeling uneasy and she was worried that someone might still be lingering, watching them. And she wanted to do what she needed to do to keep Maddy safe, something she was sure Zacky felt the same way about.

"Wanna swim some more!" Maddy exclaimed, pouting.

"Well we've got to go inside," Emily said. She picked up the protesting toddler and carried her inside, taking her to the downstairs bathroom. "Madison Alice, do you want a spanking?" Emily scolded as she sat down Maddy down on the floor. Maddy shook her head rapidly. "Then you'd better start listening to Mommy. Mr. Zack was very nice to let you swim in his pool, but now it's time to wash up and watch a movie. And if you don't start acting good, I'll tell Mr. Zack not to let you swim in the pool anymore."

Zacky was still on edge by the time he made it upstairs. He was intent on having a quick shower to wash the chlorine out of his hair and off his skin. Glancing at the ensuite, Zacky pulled his phone out and gave Jimmy a quick call. If there was anyone that he knew, that he would trust around his little girl, it was Jimmy. The man had a heart of gold, would surely be able to keep Maddy entertained, and most importantly, help Zacky keep an eye out on everything.

His shoulder was quick and not even ten minutes later, Zacky was sitting perched on a stool in the kitchen. He sipped at his glass of iced tea, looking up when he heard Emily and Maddy approached. His eyes were locked on Emily, he only hoped that she wouldn't react too badly to what he was about to tell her.

"I... went ahead and invited a friend over to watch a movie with us. He's harmless, just a big kid at heart," Zacky explained, moving off of the stool. He headed over to the cabinet where he grabbed a bag of popcorn to toss in the microwave. Zacky knew she would likely be uncomfortable but he was trying his best not to say too much, the less Emily knew, the better. And the less Maddy picked up on, the better.

It took a bit more scolding, but eventually Maddy climbed into the bathtub and let Emily bathe her. Emily decided she would take a shower later, maybe after Maddy had gone to bed. She dried Maddy off and tugged on the toddler's favorite pair of pajamas, taking her hand as they walked downstairs to the kitchen. Emily stiffened a little when Zacky mentioned inviting a friend over to watch the movie with them, but she forced herself to relax. Zacky would never knowingly put Maddy in danger. If he was inviting someone over, it was someone he could trust.

"Come on Maddy, why don't we go and see what DVDs Mr. Zack has?" Emily suggested, touching the top of Maddy's head. "That way maybe you can have one picked out by the time Mr. Zack's friend gets here." Emily urged Maddy into the living room, stopping for a second to speak to Zacky. "Who's this friend you invited over?" she asked him, keeping her voice soft so that Maddy wouldn't hear. "I know he works for you, Zack, but I just want to know his name. I like to know the name if everyone who's going to be around my daughter."

Zacky felt his chest tighten at Emily ushered Maddy into the living room. Before she even turned toward him, he had known what was coming. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, refusing to look in Emily's direction. He drew in a deep breathe, forcing himself to face her. Shoving his heads into his pockets, Zacky ground his teeth together for a moment before he finally answered Emily. "His name's Jimmy. He's a little weird," he paused, pulling a bit of a face. "Okay, maybe a lot weird but if there's anyone I'd trust around Maddy, it's him. He's got a heart of gold."

He was silent, his eyes locked on Emily's. He hoped she would pick up on the words that he could never say in a million years. Zacky turned, heading into the living room to see that Maddy to combing through his collection of dvds. He was thankful the worst of them were higher up on the shelves, enough that Maddy wouldn't be able to reach.

"Miss Maddy," he paused, squating down so that he would be even with her. "Do you want some apple juice or hot chocolate while we watch the movie?"

"Well if you trust him enough to bring him around Maddy, then he can't be that bad," Emily said. She followed Zacky into the living room, seeing that Maddy had made herself right at home in looking through Zacky's DVDs. "My, my, you're making a big mess of Mr. Zack's living room," Emily teased.

"I'm trying to find a movie!" Maddy shouted. She smiled when Zacky squatted down next to her, nodding her head when he asked if she wanted something. "Hot chocolate, Mr. Zack! With marshmallows!" Emily made a small noise to get the toddler's attention, hoping to wordlessly convey the word Maddy needed to add. "Please."

"I think Mr. Zack would be glad to make you some hot chocolate," Emily said, touching Zacky's arm. She managed to force a slight smile on her face before she turned back to Maddy. "But while you're waiting, why don't you hurry up and pick out a movie? I'm sure Mr. Zack's friend will be here soon."

Zacky beamed as Maddy answered him, not even thinking twice when it took her a moment to say please. He was just happy to know that he was doing well by Maddy, at least in the moment. He knew that this was a limited time deal, that as soon as her apartment was clean, he would disappear into the background. He would continue to do as he promised, funneling money into Maddy's trust fund. He had dropped out of college shortly after Emily had left him because he hadn't been able to afford tuition, even with what money he was pulling in with work. He would die before his daughter had to suffer the same fate.

Turning, he headed into the kitchen to start four hot chocolates. He figured that Jimmy wouldn't mind one and since Emily hadn't asked for one, he thought that she would appreciate the gesture. At least while they were here, he would do all he could for them. Hearing the front door open and close, Zacky didn't even have time to go on the defense because Jimmy was shouting that it was just him. Exhaling a breathe of relief, he made his way out to the living room with the hot chocolates carefully balanced in his hands.

Jimmy was already sitting down beside Maddy, explaining away each of his tattoos. Some, Zacky knew had darker meanings, but true to what he had thought, Jimmy was good at giving a different explanation. He set the mugs down, handing one to Jimmy and Maddy before handing the other to Emily. He sat down beside her and had to fight the urge to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "Maddy, what did you pick out for us to watch?"

"How about this one?" Emily asked, pointing to a DVD. Maddy shook her head, pushing it away. "Maddy, you need to hurry up and pick a movie, Mr. Zack's friend will be here soon." Thankfully Maddy eventually chose Lion King, although Emily was certainly curious as to why this movie was in Zacky's collection. She jumped slightly when the door opened, instinctively drawing Maddy closer to her as Zacky's friend Jimmy entered the house, shouting out to Zacky.

"Hi, I'm Jimmy," he said, offering Emily a wave. He grinned at the toddler. "And you must be Maddy."

Emily went over to put in the movie while Maddy climbed up onto the couch next to Jimmy, asking him about his numerous tattoos. Emily took the mug when Zacky handed it to her, watching as he went over to sit next to Maddy. "Lion King!" she exclaimed. "Me and Mommy watch it all the time."

"We certainly do," Emily said, moving over to the couch. There wasn't much room between the arm and Zacky, but there was enough for her to squeeze in. Although, she and Zacky were pretty close to one another.

Zacky seemed to realize at the same moment that Emily did, that there was very little room left on the couch. He opened his mouth, his brows pulling together as he eyed the space between himself and the arm of the couch. He thought it might have been a good idea to move to the loveseat beside the couch but Emily had sat down before he could suggest it. Clearing his throat, he turned forward and focused his attention on the television. The opening credits started and Zacky felt his heart clenched.

He nonchalantly looked from side to side, noting Maddy on his right and Emily n his right. He swallowed around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. This was all so wrong. He was supposed to be doing this every night like clockwork to spend time with the two girls sitting on either side of him. But he had fucked it up before it had even had a chance to begin. Zacky let out a shuddering breathe, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

Jimmy frowned, looking over to his boss. He didn't say a thing, simply reached over to give his shoulder a light squeeze. Zacky jerked away from him, letting out another sigh as he stood. "I'll be right back," he muttered under his breathe, making a beeline for the stairs. Zacky needed a moment to himself, to gather his thoughts. A few minutes later, Zacky made his way back downstairs. He had a forced grin on his face as he moved to take a seat on the loveseat, not wanting to make either himself or Emily uncomfortable again.

"What'd I miss, Maddy?" He asked, glancing over to the little girl. She was the only hope at keeping himself together for the evening. He knew that Jimmy would knock him down a peg or two but he didn't want it to come to that, Emily nor Maddy needed to witness Zacky losing his temper.

As much as she knew she shouldn't, Emily quite enjoyed being so close to Zacky. It had been so long since she had been and when she tried to remember the last time, it struck her that it might possibly be the night that Maddy had been conceived. It honestly made her cheeks heat up a bit, thinking about that, but she shook the thoughts aside. Zacky didn't want her like that, not anymore. He'd made that perfectly clear. Emily was surprised when Zacky suddenly got to his feet, excusing himself and heading upstairs. And for the first time, Maddy even seemed to notice the sudden change in his attitude, a small frown on her little face.

When Zacky finally came back downstairs, this time taking a seat on the loveseat, Maddy wouldn't look at him. "You miss part of the movie, Mr. Zack," she said softly. She scooted a bit closer to Emily, leaning her head against her mother's arm before finally looking over at Zacky. After a few minutes, she slipped off of the couch, padding down the hall to the room she and Emily were staying in. When she returned, she was holding a stuffed animal in her arms. She took this to Zacky and placed it in his lap, patting his knee with her little hand. "Here you go, Mr. Zack. This make you feel better."

Zacky's brows furrowed at Maddy's response. He looked over to her, a frown developing on his features as his gaze flicked to Jimmy's. The man was frowning but looking in Zacky's direction. Zacky's shoulders sagged a bit as he bit back a sigh. He turned away from the trio on the couch, chewing on his bottom lip. He was facing the television but wasn't paying any attention at all. His stomach twisted into a firm knot as he fidgeted with the lint in his pocket. Hearing movement behind him, Zacky didn't bother to look behind him. The little footsteps were enough of an indication of who had gotten up. Frowning slightly, Zacky looked up to notice Jimmy reaching forward to pause the movie. It was enough to ease Zacky's nerves just enough that when Maddy reappeared with a stuffed animal in hand, Zacky's lips parted.

If Zacky hadn't had so much practice with keeping his emotions in check, in mastering his poker face, he likely would have lost it. He gave a half hearted smile as he took the stuffed animal, thanking the little girl quietly. Emily was raising their daughter so well, into a strong and thoughtful young girl. He was more than relieved. While he wasn't necessarily going to be able to be in Maddy's life, at least he knew she was going to be well cared for.

The movie felt like it was over before it even began, at least to Zacky. When it ended, he was quick to stand, 'escorting' Jimmy outside. They lingered by Jimmy's car, talking for a few minutes before Zacky reappeared. He locked the front door and armed the alarms. When he reappeared in the living room, he looked rather exhausted. Zacky had no clue how he was going to get through the next few weeks. He wouldn't be able to tend to his business properly and he certainly wasn't sure how he was going to handle being around the girls almost exclusively for the time period.

Watching Maddy give Zacky her stuffed animal made Emily feel more divided than ever before. She was glad that her daughter was growing into such a kind and caring little girl, but this act just showed how attached she was to Zacky and that would never end well. Zacky seemed insistent on keeping himself as distanced from Maddy and Emily as he possibly could. Emily wasn't surprised when Zacky was quick to get to his feet once the movie ended, walking with Jimmy outside. "You ready to go to bed, baby girl?" Emily asked, reaching over to tuck a bit of Maddy's hair behind her ear. The little girl shook her head, but before either one of them could say anything else, the front door opened and Zacky stepped back inside. "Go tell Mr. Zack night night," Emily said softly to Maddy.

She watched as the toddler slipped down from the couch and went over to Zacky, wrapping her arms around one of his legs. "Night night, Mr. Zack," she whispered. "You can take my toy to bed with you, it make you sleep better."

Emily smiled. "Go on upstairs to the room, Mommy will be there in a few minutes," she told Maddy. Once the toddler had disappeared up the stairs, she turned to Zacky. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked him. She knew that Zacky wanted to keep himself distanced from them, but that didn't stop Emily from caring about him. He would always be special to her, even if he didn't know it.

With Maddy's little arms wrapped around his leg, Zacky swore whatever bit of his heart remained broke in two. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he knelt down, ruffling her hair gently. He couldn't help but smirk at the whine that Maddy let out as she smacked his hand away. "Thank you, Miss Maddy," he spoke softly, offering her a wide grin. He tried to keep his composure with her right in front of him, not wanting to dampen her mood more than he already had. He gave her a small wave as she disappeared up the stairs, straightening up as his eyebrows pulled together. He wanted nothing more than to throw them both out because then at least this torture would be over but there was no way in hell that he would ever do that to his little girl, to her mother.

Emily's question caused his head to snap around, his eyes narrowing as they landed on hers. He offered her a little grin, shrugging his shoulders. "What does that matter to you, Em?" He asked, his bitter tone taking over as he questioned her. Zacky knew that being bitter likely wouldn't help the situation at all but he couldn't push the feelings away. He was still bitter from the day Emily had left him all those years ago, let alone now knowing that Emily had had their daughter. He had had no chance to raise Maddy and now, he was in far too deep to ever step away.

Zacky moved to the bottom of the stairs, glancing over his shoulder. His smile was forced, barely enough to even be considered a smile. "Sleep well tonight, Em," his voice took on a softer edge, hoarse as he battled back his emotions. Zacky twisted, taking the stairs hurriedly to get away from Emily before he lost himself. It wasn't fair to either of them, he didn't think.

Emily frowned when Zacky snapped at her. All she'd been trying to do was be civil, there was no reason for him to take that tone with her, no matter how much stress he was under. She didn't say anything when he spoke again, barely biting back a snide remark when he called her by her old nickname. He obviously didn't want to bring their past back to life, so why keep dredging up that old nickname from the times when things were actually good? She followed behind Zacky, going into the guest bedroom where Maddy was waiting. "Let's get your teeth brushed and then we can go to bed, okay?" she suggested. She helped the toddler down off the bed and led her down the hall to the bathroom. She squirted a small amount of Maddy's bubble gum flavored toothpaste onto her toothbrush and handed it to her before leaning against the bathroom counter.

Staring at Zacky's closed bedroom door, Emily sighed softly. It was more than obvious that he didn't want the two of them here anymore. Well, he didn't want Emily around anymore. And she didn't particularly want to be around him anymore, either. It was just too difficult, especially when she wanted something that Zacky obviously didn't. It was time for Emily to accept that he didn't want to be a part of their lives, no matter how painful it might be. She needed to move on, leave Zacky to the life he wanted to lead and lead her own life with Maddy. Kaci had been pestering her to join a dating site, maybe she would finally give in and do that now, try and find some sort of companionship. Whatever she did, she knew she couldn't stay here anymore.

"Maddy, how would you like to go and stay in a hotel until our apartment gets fixed?" Emily asked, taking the toddler back to their bedroom.

"But we staying with Mr. Zack," Maddy responded, sounding confused.

Emily smiled softly as she lifted Maddy up onto the bed. Crouching down in front of her, she reached up to tuck a strand of Maddy's soft hair behind her ear. "I don't think we should do that anymore, baby," she said. "Mr. Zack has a lot to do and we're getting in the way. So we'll leave tomorrow and find a nice hotel or something to stay in."

{I figure we'll have that scenario we discussed right away here in the rp let me know if you want me to change it }

That night, Zacky had locked himself away in his bedroom with nothing other than a bottle to keep him company. Zacky had long ago decided that he wanted a mini fridge in his room to keep bottles of alchohol nearby for days like this. He had only finally put it in a few months ago but at least he finally had. Zacky was planning on doing absolutely nothing the next day because he knew that he would be nursing a hangover for the better part of tomorrow and he sure as hell didn't care one way or another at the moment.

- - - - -

Zacky hadn't really planned on getting a phone call from Matt an hour or so after passing out with the bottle cuddled into his side as if it was the only thing keeping him alive at the moment. It was amazing just how quickly you could sober up when your right hand man was shouting down the phone at you about a problem that needed to be dealt with immediately. Without so much as a second thought, Zacky tugged a shirt over his head and left the house in a hurry, a jacket haphazardly tossed on his shoulders.

- - - - -

Things rarely went wrong in Zacky's world but it seemed as though when they did go wrong, they really went wrong. The proof was in the pudding, or was it in the gaping knife wound on his side? Zacky didn't know as he slammed on the breaks right outside of his home. His hands were shaking as he killed the engine, looking up to his front door with a frown. Right now with the hangover that was beginning to form in his skull and the way that he was bleeding fuckin' everywhere in his Cadillac, Zacky wanted nothing more than to crawl into the back seat and fall asleep. But Zacky knew damn well with the way his side hadn't even slowed in its' bleeding was all the proof that he needed to know he needed to get inside.

Zacky bit back a groan as he climbed out of the suv, slamming the door shut behind him. Inching forward, Zacky was half bent over as he wanted. A thin layer of sweat had broken out on his skin by the time he reached the front door. He shoved it open with a grunt. Fumbling with the lock a lot longer than he would have preferred, Zacky let out a sigh of relief as he began to trudge toward the stairs. Pulling the cellphone from his pocket proved to be more of a task than he would have cared. Zacky was debating on whether to call Johnny, the resident medic so he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings.

(it's okay )

It took Emily far longer than she would have liked to fall asleep, but she eventually dozed off around midnight. However, it felt like she'd barely closed her eyes when she was woken up by noises downstairs. If they were still in their apartment, Emily might have chalked it up to noisy neighbors or something like that. But living with Zacky had her on edge and the visitors who had shown up the afternoon before didn't help. Looking over to make sure that Maddy was still asleep, Emily quietly slunk out of bed, going over to the closet. She searched around for something to use as a weapon, finally finding a baseball bat. She gripped it so tightly her knuckles turned white as she made her way towards the staircase, her heart leaping into her throat when she heard the obvious sounds of someone at the bottom of the stairs.

Emily knew she should go try and wake Zacky, but she wasn't exactly thinking straight at the moment. She raised the baseball bat into the air as she rushed down the stairs, ready to swing until she heard a familiar voice shouting at her to put the damn bat down. "Zack, what are you doing down here?" Emily asked, lowering the bat. It was then that she noticed the profusely bleeding wound on his side and she let the bat tumble to the floor as she rushed over to him. "What the hell happened to you?" she shouted. "Oh my God. It has something to do with those people who showed up earlier, doesn't it? Doesn't it?" Emily was shaking now. Why hadn't Zacky driven himself to the hospital instead of coming here? He needed medical attention. "I'm taking you to the emergency room," Emily said. "You stay right here, I'm going to get Maddy."

(it's okay )

It took Emily far longer than she would have liked to fall asleep, but she eventually dozed off around midnight. However, it felt like she'd barely closed her eyes when she was woken up by noises downstairs. If they were still in their apartment, Emily might have chalked it up to noisy neighbors or something like that. But living with Zacky had her on edge and the visitors who had shown up the afternoon before didn't help. Looking over to make sure that Maddy was still asleep, Emily quietly slunk out of bed, going over to the closet. She searched around for something to use as a weapon, finally finding a baseball bat. She gripped it so tightly her knuckles turned white as she made her way towards the staircase, her heart leaping into her throat when she heard the obvious sounds of someone at the bottom of the stairs.

Emily knew she should go try and wake Zacky, but she wasn't exactly thinking straight at the moment. She raised the baseball bat into the air as she rushed down the stairs, ready to swing until she heard a familiar voice shouting at her to put the damn bat down. "Zack, what are you doing down here?" Emily asked, lowering the bat. It was then that she noticed the profusely bleeding wound on his side and she let the bat tumble to the floor as she rushed over to him. "What the hell happened to you?" she shouted. "Oh my God. It has something to do with those people who showed up earlier, doesn't it? Doesn't it?" Emily was shaking now. Why hadn't Zacky driven himself to the hospital instead of coming here? He needed medical attention. "I'm taking you to the emergency room," Emily said. "You stay right here, I'm going to get Maddy."