I Know It Breaks Your Heart

Zacky hadn't really been planning on being home today. He had left early to head to the gym he was a member of before the sun was even up. He had gotten his workout in and returned home to have a nutrient rich smoothie that he had to gag down. He had discovered that he was out of his preferred protein powder and only had the cheap shit he had picked up from walmart when he was in a bind. It had to do and it did it's job, after Zacky convinced himself that he had already made the smoothie so it was stupid to toss it down the drain. Full, Zacky headed up to his bedroom and was quick to shower. None of the boy shad bothered him so far and since he wasn't personally feeling up to doing anything work related, Zacky settled down in a pair of basketball shorts. He had assumed that Emily and Maddy would be gone by now as he had taken a considerably lengthy shower.

Heading back downstairs, Zacky busied himself with making a grilled ham and cheese sandwich (and tomato soup because it's basically a requirement). So absorbed in the task at hand, Zacky hadn't even heard the car pull up outside. He didn't know someone was there until the doorbell rang. His eyes narrowed as he twisted, contemplating grabbing a knife from the block sitting on his counter but he decided against it. No one that was after him would have been polite enough to ring the doorbell before trying to kill him. His world simply didn't work that way.

Pulling up the door, Zacky immediately found himself scowling in some guy's face. He was shirtless and irritable because his side was still sore from when he had been stabbed. Zacky had half the mind to shut the door in the guy's face but then he was asking about Emily with a rather unhappy scowl on his face. Zacky's eyes narrowed as he took a step out of the house, eyeing the man up and down.

"And you are?"

"Spencer."

Zacky laughed, looking down to his feet before he looked back up to Spencer. "She doesn't want to talk to you."

"That's not what she said last night."

Zacky hadn't been prepared for the wave of jealousy that washed over him. "What? What did you just say?"

"She seemed a little eager to get a taste of me, if you know what I mean."

Zacky tilted his head to the side, his back straightening as he gave a small shake of his head. "No. I don't know what you mean."

"Come on, man. Emily is, like, practically begging for my co-" Spencer hadn't been prepared. Zacky threw a punch half way through Spencer's sentence. Zacky hadn't even flinched after, shaking his hand out as he studied Spencer's sprawled out form. He'd been thrown backward, down the steps and landed with a thud on the concrete.

"Get the fuck off of my property," Zacky hissed through gritted teeth, his hands balled into fists. He was completely unaware of Emily rounded the corner into the foyer behind him.

Once she'd made the decision to move back to Montana, Emily had originally planned on just letting things with Spencer fizzle out. Why try and continue to build a relationship with this man when she was going to leave? But then she realized that it wouldn't hurt to meet him before she left. It would be nice to have someone take her out on a date and besides, seeing Spencer would be an excellent way to spite Zacky, something Emily would honestly love to do at this point. So she messaged Spencer, asking him to pick her up the following Friday evening, after she'd gotten home from work. She'd even sent Maddy to her sitter's house so that Zacky would have no way of trying to guilt Emily into staying home. It was just a date, that was it. She made sure that was clear to Spencer, or at least she thought she had. Emily was honestly looking forward to it, being able to pretend she was a normal person with a normal dating life for once, even if this wouldn't go anywhere. Who knew, maybe it would finally give her the confidence to move past Zacky.

Emily was just finishing up getting ready when she heard the doorbell downstairs. She hurried to slip on her shoes and grab her bag, hoping that she might be able to slip out of the house before Zacky even realized that she was gone. But she realized that that idea was hopeless when she heard his voice as she made her way downstairs. She couldn't make out exactly what Zacky and Spencer were saying until she rounded the corner into the foyer and heard Zacky hissing at Spencer. "Zacky, what the hell happened?" Emily asked. She looked past him and say Spencer sprawled out on the concrete, holding his chin.

"This guy is crazy, that's what fucking happened," Spencer cursed, gesturing at Zacky. "He just fucking punched me!"

Emily didn't doubt that that was exactly what had happened, given how Spencer was on the ground and the way Zacky radiated anger. There was something else there as well, something Emily was sure she had to be imagining. But what she didn't know was why. Spencer must have said something to really upset Zacky in order to warrant a punch. "What did you say to him?" Emily asked, looking at Spencer, who was picking himself up off of the ground.

"I didn't say--" Spencer started, but he fell short when he noticed the look that Emily was giving him. He knew there was no point in lying, likely because it would get him hit by Zacky again. "I told him the real reason you wanted to see me."

"The real reason?"

"Yeah, because you wanted to fuck." The blunt way he phrased it took Emily back. "I mean, come on. It's a dating app. Most of the women on there are whores." The implication of his words wasn't lost on Emily and she turned away, leaving Zacky to deal with Spencer. She didn't think she'd ever felt more stupid or embarrassed in her entire life and she just to curl into a ball and go to sleep.

@ varkatzas.

Zacky wanted nothing more than to head down the stairs and to be beat Spencer so bad that he ended up regretting more than just his shitty existence. He took a step to do just that, only to turn and witness Emily walking away. He felt his anger swell. He knew Emily now just as well as he did before all of this shit went down between them. He sneered and turned back toward Spencer, snapping at the man to get the fuck off of his property. Spencer almost looked like he wanted to argue the point with Zacky until Zacky took another step forward. The man turned and booked it back to his car where he was quick to climb in and rev it down Zacky's driveway.

He slammed the door shut, locking it behind Spencer before he turned and followed after Emily. Zacky was sure that it would be easy enough to find her and sure enough, he stopped out front of the door to the room that Emily had been staying in. Zacky fell silent, his hand half-raised to knock on the door. Would Emily even care about anything he had to say? TO be perfectly honest, Zacky didn't really think that she would. Why would she?

Letting out a dry laugh, Zacky gave a shake of his head and turned to walk about before he stopped and thought twice about it. He knocked and stepped backward, wondering if Emily would even bother to answer him. Zacky placed his hands behind his back and cupped one wrist, quiet as he waited as patiently as he could.

Zacky looked up just as slowly as the door crept open. He hesitated when his gaze hit her neck. It was wrong for him to comfort her, god Zacky knew it was but he still didn't stop himself because it felt like it was the right thing to do. Zacky took a deep breathe and looked up, his eyes locking on Emily's. "Em, you don't go listening to that piece of shit. He's the whore here. Not you," Zackyy declared, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I mean. You know what they say about people who assume and he was doing just that, huh? Zacky tried to make a joke, to lighten the situation. He winced, knowing just how awful he had to sound to her but he was still here. It was the thought that counted, right?

Emily barely made it to her bedroom before she started crying. She hadn't really been expecting anything from going out with Spencer, dinner and a movie at the most. Just one night where she could pretend her life was normal, instead of the clusterfuck it had turned into. And she just felt so stupid for not seeing Spencer's true intentions and for getting her hopes up. Emily shut the door behind her before kicking off her shoes, not caring where they landed. She gave a quick thought to taking a warm bath but decided against it. She would rather just change into her pajamas and curl up in bed, taking advantage of Maddy's absence to throw herself a little pity party.

What Emily certainly wasn't expecting was the knock at her door that came a few minutes later. She knew it was Zacky and so she tried to wipe away most of her tears before she went over to slowly open the door. As soon as Zacky's eyes locked onto hers, Emily knew he would be able to tell she was crying and she felt even more stupid. But when Zacky did what she remembered him doing best and cracked a joke to try and make her feel better, Emily actually managed a laugh. And the fact that he was even trying to comfort her meant more to her than she could really tell him.

Emily considered for a short second whether or not it was a good idea to hug Zacky before moving forward to wrap her arms around his middle. "Thank you, Zack," she said softly. "I just feel kind of stupid, you know? All I wanted was for someone to take me out so I could feel normal for a change. But I guess I don't really deserve that." Emily mumbled the last part. She knew she should have moved away from Zacky by now but she just didn't want to; having him this close to her was a comfort she hadn't had the privilege of experiencing in such a long time and she didn't want to give it up until he made her.

Zacky had to be a heartless man a majority of the time in his life because when you worked in a crime syndicate, you didn't really have a choice. Not if you didn't want to end up regretting something. You would either betray the people that became like family to keep your own ass safe or you would go to prison. Zacky was cold, heartless. He didn't fuck around when it came to people that betrayed him, betrayed those close to him. But then, he wasn't so heartless when it came to Emily. Sure, he had tried to cover up his pain through sleeping with countless women and copious amounts of alcohol but what other choice did he have? Zacky had screwed everything up when he got in too deep so many years ago, that he had had no where to turn to. He had been in a city where he didn't really have friends outside of the people he associated with. There had been no where else for him to go.

Zacky stiffened as Emily stepped forward, already bracing himself for what he knew was coming. As her arms wrapped around him, he hesitated before slipping his arms around Emily's shoulders. His grip was loose at best but still, he tried to console her as well as he could while not going overboard with it. Emily had made her feelings about him clear, he wasn't going to try and mend the relationship further. He only relaxed as she started to speak, giving a roll of his eyes with the ceiling as his only witness.

"I may be an asshole but damn, I wasn't going to let him walk all over you," Zacky muttered, rubbing her back gently for a moment longer before he pulled away from her. He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking away from her with a clenched jaw. Zacky wanted to say something but he didn't have the balls to. He let out a bitter sounding laugh as the thought crossed his mind. He had the guts to murder a man who had the potential to betray him but he didn't have the guts to say a few words to Emily? What a joke.

"Want to order some shitty chinese food and watch horrible comedies downstairs?" Zacky offered, figuring that it was a safe option for them. What could possibly go wrong?

(what could possibly go wrong? Zack, you poor, poor fool )

"Well, for once I'm glad you decided to act like an asshole," Emily said. She was surprised when she felt him rubbing her back and she leaned into him a bit more just in time for him to pull away from her. Emily tried to hide her disappointment, but she was sure it showed just a little. Being close to him was probably the most comforting thing right now, but she could understand why Zacky wouldn't want that. He'd made it pretty clear that he only wanted to be in the periphery of their lives. Emily noticed the way Zacky's jaw clenched as he turned away from her, but she said nothing. This was the least amount of tension there had been between the two of them in days, she didn't want to ruin that by asking questions.

"Yeah, just uh, let me change first," Emily said, hearing Zacky's offer. She caught sight of her appearance in the mirror hanging over her door and scoffed. "Since I'm not going out anymore. I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes. You can go ahead and order the food if you want, if you remember what I like." Emily offered Zacky a soft smile as she shut the door behind him, going over to her dresser to pull out a change of clothes. Since they were just going to be watching movies, she figured a tank top and a pair of shorts would do. Once she was changed, Emily grabbed her phone and headed downstairs, finding Zacky in the living room. She couldn't remember the last time the two of them had been alone like this and it almost felt a little strange. She and Zacky weren't the same people as they were four years ago and their relationship wasn't the same, as much as Emily sometimes still wished that it was.

"I say we start with Water Boy," Emily suggested, tucking her leg underneath herself as she took a seat on the couch. "You can't not laugh at that movie and I think we both need a good laugh." Emily waited for Zacky to take a seat next to her on the couch, stretching her legs out and resting her feet on the coffee table as the movie started. She assumed that he had already ordered the Chinese food, otherwise he likely would've said something to her about it as soon as she appeared from upstairs. Likely out of sheer habit, Emily found herself leaning her head over to rest on Zacky's shoulder. It took a few seconds for her to realize what she'd done and she quickly straightened up, for some reason feeling a blush rise up on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean...force of habit, I guess," Emily stammered out.

{nothing. nothing at all will go wrong ! :D }

Zacky fixed Emily with a bit of a hard look at her comment, shaking his head slowly. Of course he still knew what she liked, he highly doubted that she had really changed all that much in the past few years. Smirking to himself, he turned and wordlessly made his way downstairs. He dropped down onto the couch and took a moment to decide what he wanted to order before calling up his favourite local chinese restaurant. Of course, he had ordered far more than either of them could eat in one sitting but that was part of the beauty of Chinese food; the leftovers. Zacky settled into the couch, deciding that Emily could pick what movie they ended up watching first.

Looking up when Emily appeared, Zacky offered her a light smile. His face scrunched a bit at her suggestion but he gave a nod of his head anyway. Adam Sandler had never really been a favourite actor of his but he did have to give it to her, it was a movie that you couldn't help but to laugh at. And besides, they would be busy with food for a part of the movie to begin with. Zacky stiffened as Emily leaned against him but he didn't say anything. He didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable when she had already dealt with so much bullshit because of Spencer. Just the thought of him made his anger spike. Sneering at the thought, Zacky pushed himself off of the couch to go put the movie into his playstation. There was no need for both his gaming system and a dvd player.

Dropping back down onto the couch, Zacky pulled the classic move of faking a yawn before he wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulders. He grinned at her, raising an eyebrow. "What? Gotta admit that was a smooth move, you can't even be mad," he teased lightly, using his free hand to turn the movie on. "Food should be here in forty or so minutes. I ordered a shit ton of food so it usually takes a bit longer."

(nope, nothing )

Emily didn't know whether or not to be surprised when Zacky didn't respond to her apology. The look on his face as he got up to put the movie into his PlayStation made her worry that he might be angry with her for some reason, but that worry was instantly squashed when he sat back down. She was definitely surprised when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. "No, I guess I can't," Emily admitted, smiling softly. She nodded when Zacky said something about the food, bringing her legs up onto the couch and tucking them underneath her as the movie started. She leaned against Zacky again, although she wasn't quite brave enough to rest her hands anywhere but her lap. This was the closest she'd been to Zacky in years and she didn't want to screw it up.

Emily had no idea what had gotten into Zacky, but it was a pleasant change. She suspected that it might have something to do with Spencer and if she would have known that that was all it would take to be able to spend time with Zacky like this, she would've let Kaci set her up on a dating app a long time ago. Now Emily felt a little bad that she'd gone out with Spencer mostly to spite Zacky. Emily was so comfortable curled up close to Zacky that she'd nearly forgotten they'd ordered food until the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, she moved away from Zacky so that he could get up to answer the door.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you ordered a lot of food," Emily said, eyeing the number of boxes in Zacky's arms. "We're never going to be able to finish all of this." But Zacky used to always tell her that the best part of Chinese food were the leftovers, so it made sense that he'd ordered so much. Emily sat close to Zacky as they ate, eating as much as she could stand before placing her leftovers on the coffee table. She looked over at Zacky with a smile as she rested her chin on his shoulder. "Thank you for cheering me up, Zack," she said softly. "This wasn't exactly the way I planned to spend my evening, but I think this is better." Hesitating for only a second, Emily leaned in to press a kiss to Zacky's cheek.

Zacky's thoughts were a million miles away as he sat on the couch beside Emily. His thumb brushed over her shoulder absentmindedly as he stared at the television, not really seeing the movie that played on the screen. Jolting back to being alert when the doorbell rang, Zacky's free hand shot to his waist where a gun normally rested. He frowned, his brows pulling together as confusion washed over him. Just as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Zacky cleared his throat, pushing himself to his feet and making his way to the door while he pulled a few 20's out of his wallet. Exchanging the bills for the food, Zacky waved off the delivery driver when he tried to give him change. Kicking the door shut, Zacky didn't hesitate to return to Emily's side.

Smirking as he plopped down onto the sofa, Zacky began to pull box after box out of the paper bag. He looked over to Emily, shrugging his shoulders as he produced the paper plates from the bottom of the bag. Zacky ordered from the place enough times that they knew to include paper plates without him even having to ask because with the amount of food that he ordered, Zacky had zero intention of doing that many dishes.

Zacky settled back against the couch with the plate propped against his chest. "This general tso's is the shit," Zacky muttered around a mouthful of food, looking up to Emily with a small grin. "Which is your favourite?" He thought he knew but a lot had changed in the past few years, there was no saying whether her preferences had since changed.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Emily chided playfully. "And I'm honestly surprised you even need to ask what my favorite is, it's the same it's always been. House noodles." She could probably fill up on those alone, but she liked a bit of variety. And Zacky had certainly done a good job at choosing the things she liked. It made it even easier to pretend this was the past four years had never happened, that Emily hadn't walked away and she and Zacky were still together. And it only further served to elevate this fantasy when Zacky didn't react negatively to the kiss Emily pressed to his cheek. Of course, he hadn't really reacted at all, but no news was good news, right?

"I'm going to put the leftovers away," Emily said as the movie credits started to roll. She got to her feet, offering Zacky a soft smile as she collected the food. "Why don't you put on another movie?" Walking into the kitchen, Emily threw the paper plates they'd been using into the trash before finding a spot for the leftovers in the fridge. There was enough left for both of them to have at least one sizeable snack later. Returning to the living room, Emily flicked off the lights before she dropped onto the couch next to Zacky, immediately leaning against him again, pulling her legs up onto the couch. "I hope you picked a good movie," she teased, careful to avoid his wound as she lightly poked his side.

Deciding she was a little chilly, Emily got up to retrieve the blanket tossed over Zacky's recliner. Returning to the couch, she stretched out as best as she could, not even giving a second thought as she rested her head on Zacky's thigh. She knew Zacky well enough to know that he would say something if he didn't like it, especially considering the unfortunate night when she'd invited him into her apartment and confessed that she still loved him. But he hadn't reacted negatively the first time she'd leaned against him and he'd even put his arm around her shoulder the way he used to. So Emily wasn't so sure he would have a problem with this at all.

Looking over to Emily when the credits began to roll, Zacky gave a small nod of his head as he watched her reach for the leftovers. He had half the mind to tell her just to heat it up because was it really Chinese food if you hadn't gorged yourself on it at a ridiculous, unhealthy amount? Instead turning his attention to his movie collection, Zacky opted to pull out Hitman's Bodyguard. It was a newer comedy that he thought that Emily might not have seen yet given her busy life style. He thought that they could both use a good laugh or two, he hadn't really considered the implications of too much laughter on his wound.

Already settled back on the couch, Zacky only grinned in Emily's directions. "I don't think you'll have seen it yet. I hope not," he paused long enough to motion toward the television as it began to play through the few commercials before it came to the main screen. Looking back toward Emily, when he didn't sense any displeasure at his choice, Zacky pressed play and relaxed into the couch. It wasn't long before Emily herself had gotten comfortable and he lifted her head carefully, just long enough to situate himself before letting her head rest against his leg again.

- - - - -

Zacky's side was dully throbbing by the end of the movie, his wound aggravated by the amount of laughing he had done but he didn't mind. Not one bit, not with Emily laying against him the way that she was. He let out a groan as the credits began to roll, stretching his arms out to the side before dropping his head back against the couch. "Seems like you might have liked it a little bit," he teased softly, tilting his head to the side.

When Emily felt Zacky move her head, at first she was afraid he was going to tell her to move. So when he only got himself comfortable before letting her lay back down, she smiled to herself. This brought back so many memories for Emily, of nights when all she and Zack had was each other and DVDs they'd seen a million tim,es. And it was so, so easy to pretend that everything that had happened between then and now was just some sort of terrible dream. Being with Zacky like this again just felt comfortable. And hearing Zacky's laughter above her head just made things better; it felt like ages since the last time she'd heard him laugh like that.

Emily wasn't even completely aware of just how comfortable she was until the second movie ended and she felt Zacky stretching. Stretching her legs out a bit herself, Emily rolled onto her back, looking up at Zacky and making a playful face at his comment. "It was okay," she said teasingly. In all honesty, they could've watched infomercials and Emily wouldn't have minded as long as she got to be close to Zacky. And Emily was reluctant to give it up, despite how late she was sure it was. "So...another movie?" Emily asked. "Or does grandpa need to get to bed?"

Without really giving Zacky a chance to respond, Emily reluctantly got up from her spot on the couch to search through the DVD collection. "Oh my God, Armegeddon!" she exclaimed. "I haven't seen this in forever." She popped the movie into Zacky's PlayStation before quickly returning to her place next to Zacky on the couch, this time draping her legs over one of Zacky's, leaning her head over on his shoulder. "Do you remember how often we used to watch this movie?" Emily asked, yawning softly. "I'm surprised we never got tired of it. And you...you used to sing me that Aerosmith song because you knew it was my favorite," she added shyly. "I've always loved your voice."

Zacky raised his eyebrow, looking over to Emily. His lips parted and he was just about to mention how it was late enough that he was actually tired. It didn't help that his body was still healing from his little run in with a knife. Regardless of what he had wanted to originally do, Zacky's resolve completely disappeared as Emily jumped up to search through his collection. Her excitement at spotting Armageddon pulled at heartstrings that Zacky wasn't even aware that he still had. Swallowing the lump that the sudden influx of emotions caused, Zacky forced a weak smile to his lips.

Having not seen the movie since they had separated, Zacky wasn't sure how to even approach the subject. Or if he should for that matter. Opting on the side of caution, Zacky leaned his head against Emily's and fell into a comfortable silence with her until she decided to speak up again. His smile was a bit more genuine this time around as he gave an immediate nod of his head. He hesitated, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, I think we even wore a hole into the one copy. Didn't we?" He recalled the memory, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip. Her mention of Zacky singing to her caused him to look away from her, not wanting to really talk about it. These were memories that he had put away a long time ago, ones that had caused him so much damn pain that the thought was enough to make him nauseous. He shrugged, looking down to his lap and back up to the movie, all but refusing to talk about it even now with her. What was there to say? Nothing. Zacky exhaled slowly, moving to sit up straight. "What's the point?" He bit out, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. Gritting his teeth against the pain that the motion caused, Zacky sounded a bit more sour this time around. "Talking about the past. It doesn't fuckin' get us anywhere."

"I don't think we wore a hole in it so much as we watched it so many time that the damn disc snapped in half," Emily said, laughing. Finding a new copy had been an ordeal, but it was a fun little adventure that she almost looked back on fondly. Emily looked back on a lot of her memories with Zacky with fondness, something she couldn't seem to say for Zacky. "It doesn't have to get us anywhere, Zack," Emily said, frowning. "Can't we just talk? I obviously can't really speak for you, but I like remembering our past. You made me happy, Zack. You make me happy."

Emily didn't understand why Zacky all but refused to just talk about their history together. Did he hate her so much that he wanted to forget their years together? He was holding back and Emily had a sneaking suspicion, but she wouldn't let herself believe it. She wanted to, but there was no way. But then, why had he reacted so violently to Spencer? Granted if Emily were a bit braver, she might have hit him herself, but she was the one who'd been insulted. Zacky had been sticking up for her and he had no real reason to.

"Do you...Do you remember when we decided to move away from home?" Emily asked, speaking softly. "We were like sixteen and everyone told us we were stupid for thinking we could move so far away. They always told us we couldn't do it. And...And it was hard. It was really hard. But we made it work because we loved each other. And I was so stupid to walk away from that." The last comment slipped out so quietly Emily almost thought she'd only thought it. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I fucked up everything. But...But I want to make things better." Emily knew it was a bad idea, just like she'd known it was a bad idea last time, too. And this time she couldn't even blame it on alcohol. But that didn't stop her from kissing Zacky, curling against him as she did.

The more that Emily continued to talk about their past, the more it made Zacky dread where the conversation was inevitably going to end up. He didn't want to talk about their old relationship because it only opened up the old wounds, the ones that had been ripped right into his core when Emily decided to leave him. The ones that had left him feeling bitter and alone, with no one to turn to but the same people that dragged him into the mess to begin with. He bit back a groan, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. Zacky could only shrug when she continued to speak, not wanting to speak in fear of saying something that he would end up regretting.

Zacky froze and he swore his heart stopped dead when Emily said that she was stupid for leaving. His breathe caught in his throat and he was silent as she started against, his eyes trained on his hands that were digging into his knees. It was a horrible idea on Emily's part but it was just as much his fault because this time around, Emily hadn't been drinking her weight in wine, and Zacky had no reason to tell her no.

Reaching out, Zacky's arms wrapped around Emily's waist and he pulled her close to him. It was wrong but God, Zacky had been wanting this since the moment that she had walked away from him. All of the other girls that he had slept with and had tried to have a relationship with were nothing compared to Emily. It was always Emily, it had always been Emily. He let out a small groan, deepening the kiss as he moved one hand up to cup the back of her head. He brushed his thumb over her cheek, his eyes slipping shut as he twisted so that he could lay back.

Emily couldn't describe the relief she felt when Zacky pulled her close. It was almost comforting to have his arms around her again and it made her heart ache to know that it was her fault she'd had to go so long without this. And even after she'd walked away from him, Emily had never been able to bring herself to find someone new because deep down, it had always been Zacky. He was her first love, the father of her child, and Emily never wanted anyone else but him. She felt like an idiot for even entertaining the idea of Spencer. There was no way he ever could have hoped to compare to Zacky.

When Zacky twisted to lay back against the couch, Emily let herself fall with him, settling between his legs. She loved being this close to him, feeling his heart beat against her chest and his breath against her face as the change in position made them fumble for another kiss. She almost felt like a teenager again and it was exhilarating. She had no idea where they would stand tomorrow morning or even when all of this was over and honestly, she didn't even care. It would be worth it. It would be worth it to call Zacky hers again, even if it was only for one night.

The thing Emily liked best about Zacky was that with him, she didn't really need to think in situations like this. They'd been together for so long that she just knew what he liked, the little things that drove him crazy. Maybe that's why, without really meaning to, Emily started a lazy trail of kisses along Zacky's jaw, seeking out that tender patch of skin right below his ear. There was a little tattoo there that hadn't been there when she left and she pinched it between her teeth, testing her boundaries a little.

Zacky was used to things being sort of empty within the bedroom. He went through the motions because in the moment, it dulled the ache in his chest. The constant longing that pulled him back to the one girl that had always had his heart. It had always been Emily, even before he knew it. Even after she left and even after he found out he had a daughter that he had never even known had existed. Emily's lips on his body helped bring that ache to the point he wasn't even sure it had ever been there in the first place.

Groaning as Emily nipped at his skin, Zacky shied away from her with a small frown. "Gotta be careful," he mentioned softly, tilting his head to the side with a goofy sort of grin. He was quiet, a thoughtful look overtaking his features as he began to run his fingers through her hair. His mind was racing with a million different thoughts, things that he had thought he would never have to deal with. And yet here he was with it staring him right in the face.

"You know this is a bad idea," Zacky spoke in a whisper, leaning his head back to catch her gaze. "I can promise that I'll try as hard as I possibly can to keep the two of you safe but.." he trailed off, the gut wrenching knowledge that he had enemies out there that would try to come for both Emily and Maddy was enough to just about break him. "But anything is possible. As we both should know that."

Emily felt a small sort of frown form on her face when Zacky told her to be careful. She'd been careful for her entire life and she was tired of it. She didn't want to be careful anymore. All she wanted was Zacky. She wondered what he was thinking of as he ran his fingers through her hair, but her questions were quickly answered as he began to speak again. "I don't care," Emily said softly. She knew this was a bad idea, but she just didn't care. She curled her hands around the fabric of Zacky's shirt, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

"I don't care," Emily said again. "I don't care if it's a bad idea. I know you'd keep me and Maddy safe. I know you wouldn't let anyone touch a single hair on our heads." Emily smiled softly. When Emily first found out what Zacky did for a living, she thought he was selfish. But now she understood that he only did it because he was trying to support the two of them and he was willing to put his life on the line to do it. And she knew he would do the same to protect her and Maddy.

Emily turned her head slightly, just enough to catch Zacky on the lips. In the years they'd been apart, she'd never had much interest in dating, hadn't really felt the urge to so much as kiss another man. But there was just something about Zacky that lit every inch of her insides on fire. And after being deprived of him for so long, even if it was her own doing, even just kissing him like this lighting the spark all over again. "Please, Zacky," she whispered, almost begging. She kissed him again, not really able to help herself. "I love you. Please...Please don't push me away again."

@ varkatzas.