Hearing Payton talk about her memories from that night, Matt couldn't help but smirk slightly. Now that she said something about it, he remembered how she'd looked at him once his pants and boxers had come off, and even as a fifteen year old, it had greatly inflated his ego. Hell, it still inflated his ego now, especially when Payton hinted at Ryan's size. It made Matt feel good to know that even after all this years and getting married to someone else, Payton still thought of him. As Payton continued to speak, Matt sighed, setting his fork down on his plate. It was just so hard for him to think as positively as Payton did. Years in prison had hardened him, robbed him of his optimism. To him, his future just seemed so bleak.
"I wish it were that easy, Payton," Matt finally said. "I'm not the same person I was when we were younger. I'm not that rock anymore, I'm not so brave anymore. And even if I move, my record is still going to follow me. I'm never going to be able to go through a day without knowing that people actually think that I killed my best friend. It's just so disheartening, Payton. Knowing that everyone thinks I'm a murderer, and knowing that I'm never going to be able to do the same things I wanted with my life. Get married, have a family, have a stable job. I'm basically a leper now. You're the only person besides my parents and Amy that's even more than looked at me since I got released."
"I wish it were that easy, Payton," Matt finally said. "I'm not the same person I was when we were younger. I'm not that rock anymore, I'm not so brave anymore. And even if I move, my record is still going to follow me. I'm never going to be able to go through a day without knowing that people actually think that I killed my best friend. It's just so disheartening, Payton. Knowing that everyone thinks I'm a murderer, and knowing that I'm never going to be able to do the same things I wanted with my life. Get married, have a family, have a stable job. I'm basically a leper now. You're the only person besides my parents and Amy that's even more than looked at me since I got released."
December 17th, 2016 at 07:03am