You Can Run But...

@ castle.

When James came back into the bedroom, he was pleased to see that Blake had fallen asleep already. He had been worried that she would find it difficult to do so but it seemed that Blake might have been a lot more exhausted than he originally thought. As he got dressed into some nightclothes, he thought about what would be the best sleeping arrangement. In truth, James wanted to sleep in his bed and be close to Blake. Though would that make her uncomfortable in the morning? The man let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair before heading over to the couch and laying down with a blanket and a pillow.

Even if Blake was not in his arms, at least she was close by. And, James would be able to wake even if the girl rolled in the bed as long as he did not allow himself to sleep to deeply. It was important to ensure that Blake did not wander. He was going to keep his eyes on her like a hawk. Though even as he thought these things, James was drifting off to sleep.

Blake wasn't used to being able to sleep for so long. It came as no surprise to her when she jerked awake, her body tensing when she realized she was in such a soft bed. It took her a moment for her to realize where she was before she relaxed slightly. Blake was as quiet as she could be as she moved to sit up, against the headboard. Blake froze all over again when she realized she was alone in the bed. Tears started to well in her eyes because she was sure that James had promised he would stay in the room but he hadn't. It was only when she spotted James on the couch that Blake realized he was still in the room.

But he wasn't in the bed. He was sacrificing his own comfort for Blake's. Her eyes were wide, panic sinking through her. That wasn't right. If anything, Blake should have been on the couch. She thought she would fit far better than James who looked like he was curled up in an uncomfortable position. Her first instinct was to wake him and she nearly did stand before she realized that waking James when he wasn't ready to get up, when it was the middle of the night, wasn't a good idea.

Blake settled with pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She was content to wait for James to wake, chewing on the inside of her lip as her thoughts began to race.

@ castle.

James could feel himself slowly waking as he could sense the panic that was beginning to fill the room. He let out a small groan before his eyes opened slowly. At first glance, everything seemed normal. It was quiet, not strangers were there and it seemed to still be the dead of night. Though, after rubbing his eyes slightly and sitting up, James could see Blake. And once he had his eyes on her, he could sense that that was where the panic was coming from.

Slowly, James moved onto his feet. He was only wearing PJ bottoms, that he had to pull up slightly when he got off of the couch. "What's wrong?" James gently asked as he headed over to the bed. His eyebrows furrowing together as he noticed that she was wrapped up tight in herself. Once he was at the edge of the bed, he reached out and lightly pressed his hand against the side of her face. James was hoping that the connection would ground Blake slightly, hopefully, cause her heart not to race so damn hard.

As he waited for the woman to answer, he quietly looked over her face before looking around the room again. There was no way someone got in and out of here without him noticing. So what could have gotten Blake so worked up? After a moment of thought, there was really only one thing that James could think of. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Blake was quick to push herself to the other side of the bed when James neared her side. She shrugged at his question. Blake knew what was wrong. Her eyes were locked on the couch he'd just been laying on and all she could think about was the way Killenger would have berated her for sleeping on the bed. For being so careless. That she had forced James to sleep somewhere that was uncomfortable. The thought caused her stomach to flip.

Shaking her head at his question, Blake chewed on her bottom lip as she debated answering him. Did she tell the truth or make up some lie? Blake knew it was bad to lie... if James figured it out, she'd be in trouble. But what if he was upset with her because of the truth? Blake huffed, clearly frustrated about something. Her thoughts were raising, no matter how hard she tried to calm them.

"I.. y-you.. you shouldn't have been on the couch. T-The bed.. is bigger. More comfortable. I'm sorry," Blake whispered finally, She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, still not looking at James. She couldn't bring herself to. "I'm sorry," she repeated another time. "I-If.. I w-woke you," she added in a quiet voice. She hated the thought. If she had managed to accidentally wake him, how was he being so nice? Why? Her face scrunched at the thought and she wanted to ask but she didn't have the courage to speak.

@ castle.

James could feel her tugging at his heartstrings. The sinking feeling that was running through his body, the way it seemed his heart was in pain from watching Blake... it was too much for James to handle. He had been trying his best to respect her space but James couldn't help himself anymore. It was late, he felt true sorrow for her and James felt like he needed to comfort her to the best of his abilities. Doing anything else felt horribly wrong.

His arms reached out and James wrapped around her. At first, the hug was tight, pulling her into his body as close as he could. His chin resting on her head as he tried his best to make Blake understand that he was there for her. That he just wanted to love and care for her. Though, slowly, James relaxed his grip on her. His arms were still around her, still keeping her into a hug but now making it more gentle and easier for Blake to pull away if she really wanted to.

"Don't apologize," James whispered to her. "I wanted to give you the bed and you didn't wake me up. I am just worried about you. I want you to be comfortable and to sleep well. There is nothing and no one that is going to hurt you here." James started to slide one hand up and down her back, continuing to comfort her. "I care for you, Blake...." James leaned his head down and buried his face into her hair. "Whatever you need to heal, I'll do it for you."

Blake stiffened when James reached out and pulled her into his lap. She held her breath, anticipating worse but when all James did was hold her, Blake started to calm down. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned toward him, burying her face in his neck in an effort to calm herself down. Her bottom lip wobbled but she managed to keep herself from crying, instead just pressing even closer to James because his arms were a source of comfort to her. Even if she couldn't quite understand why she felt like she was going to be okay and she definitely didn't understand why James kept speaking to nicely to her. It seemed to her that he cared, despite the fact that she had run away from him.

"You shouldn't," Blake mumbled, her face still pressed against James' neck. "I ran away. I was the one that hurt you. And I don't deserve this," she mumbled. She wasn't doing it intentionally but she was trying to put up a wall between them because she was afraid that this was all somehow going to turn out horribly for her. Nothing had gone right while she was away from James, she forgot what it was like to have someone be genuinely kind to her.

Blake held her breath, fully expecting James to react to her words because she knew she deserved to be punished. The same people who had pushed her to leave in the first place, she could only imagine how they felt at the moment. How they would continue to feel, knowing that their alpha had Blake back. "I'm sorry," was all she could bring herself to say after a beat of silence stretched between them. She wanted to say more, she did, but she had no clue how to articulate what she wanted to say.

@ castle.

Despite himself, James' body went stiff as Blake mumbled the truth into his neck. It had never even crossed his mind that Blake had ran away from him. That she had actually wanted to leave him. Especially when James thought that things were going so well between them at the time. This whole time James had been convinced that something happened to her and now the truth was Blake wanted to get away?

His arms around her loosened up a bit as he leaned back, wanting to look Blake in the eyes. A deep frown was now etching into his features as he felt his heart drop deeper. This fucking day really couldn't get any worse. The love of his life had tried to leave him but ended up getting caught and tortured. "Why did you run away?" James whispered to her, wanting an answer. He could only pray that it was something that he could fix. James already knew that he could not handle letting her go. But he didn't feel good about keeping Blake against her will anymore.

He looked at her expectedly, waiting for an answer. His grip on her was currently loose but if Blake tried to pull away, it would tighten to ensure that she stayed close to him. And he wasn't going to accept not getting an answer or getting something weak and clearly untrue. If he needed to, James would demand the answer out of her.

Blake felt her heart skip a beat when James stiffened. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for what she was sure was about to come. She was almost positive that James was going to lash out at her and everything that she'd wanted would come crumbling down. She couldn't say she would even blame him because she had been the one that ran away.

She refused to look up from her lap, her eyes trained on her legs as she waited for James' reaction. Her stomach twisted and she swore that she would be sick with how nervous she was. Blake remembered what they had had before but there was no way that they could possibly have that again. Not with James' pack detesting her and not with what she had done to him. She couldn't bring herself to even consider such a possibility.

Starting to shake her head when James asked why Blake moved to push herself away from her. She let out a small whimper when James' grip only tightened around her midsection, cementing her in place. "I-It.. It doesn't matter. Please," she whimpered, shaking her head even more frantically as she tried to squirm out of his grasp. Blake wanted so badly to tell him the truth but James had already lost so much for her, she couldn't imagine what it would be like for him to lose any part of his pack for her. For a human girl when he was an alpha. He needed a wolf by his side, not some weak little human who couldn't even defend herself against a single wolf.

@ castle.

The moment that Blake tried to move away from him, James' grip around her middle tightened. He wasn't going to hurt her, no matter what, but he wasn't going to let Blake get out of this so easily. It seemed wrong to keep an already traumatized girl from leaving but James needed to know. There was too much going on, too much that was sinking his heart that he couldn't handle this being on top of that. He couldn't handle not knowing why his mate would try to leave him.

"It does matter!" James snapped at her roughly. He pulled her closer. "You mean everything to me and it does fucking matter. I need to know no matter what the reason is. Do you understand? I am not going to let you go until you tell me the truth. So spill it out. Why did you try to run away from me? What about me made you not love me anymore?"

James looked Blake dead in the eyes as his mind flipped through all of the possibilities. There were so many reasons why Blake could have ran away. He was a werewolf and that frightened her. Because their relationship started with her as his slave. He had hurt her so much before James realized he needed her. Blake didn't trust him. She wanted freedom, wanted to be with her own people. Maybe she never loved him and was just playing him from the start. "Tell me now." He commanded.

Blake's shoulders tensed and she did her best not to shake when James snapped at her but she knew that it was a losing battle. She simply remained in his lap, ready for whatever she thought was coming. It wouldn't be good, that was all she really knew. Blake was hardly even listening to James, until the end of his mini rant. He thought it was his fault that she'd run away? Blake bit her bottom lip to keep from answering him. He would lose so much if she told him, Blake couldn't do that to him. She wouldn't do that to him.

When James caught her gaze, Blake couldn't bring herself to look away. Her lips were pressed tightly, trying to remember that she needed to keep the secret to herself. She couldn't add even more weight to his shoulders. She wouldn't. The thought alone was enough to break her heart because she wanted what was best for him. Opening her mouth to tell him again, that it didn't matter, Blake's breath was stolen from her by his command.

Blake looked uneasy as she opened and closed her mouth, several times over as she tried to gather her thoughts. "You need a stronger mate. Not a human. Someone who can defend themselves, who can control the pack. Who can contribute - not leech off of what you can provide. I was just lucky enough to gain your favour but that doesn't mean I should keep it. It would be selfish and.. and you deserve it," she tried to add, "Your pack was afraid to tell you.. and that's.. it's okay." Blake swallowed around the emotion that swelled in her throat.

@ castle.

James waited with bated breath for Blake to finally tell him the truth. He saw how she opened and closed her mouth, how she seemed conflicted on what to say. Though when she finally started to speak, James took in every word. Slowly, James' grip on her lightened and he eventually dropped his head. It was a long few moments of silence as his brain tried to process what Blake was saying to him. Could it be true? Did Blake think that she had been doing this for him when she ran away? Was his pack working behind his back? Trying to convince his mate that it was better for her to go?

His hands on her started to tighten up once again as James felt the anger rising up in his body. The man could feel his wolf side rising up, a need to growl, to turn. To bring order back to his pack and to his mate. To make them all understand he was the alpha. He was the one who made decisions, not them. James knew he should leave before he scared Blake but instead his eyes lifted up, looking deep into Blake's with intense anger and desperation.

"Did my pack tell you that?" James growled out. Though he shook his head, trying to calm himself down. It didn't work but he was at least able to get his voice down to a harsh demand instead of a growl. "Did my pack tell you that you were a burden to me? That you needed to leave? Is that their words? Was you leaving their idea?"

Even if James was able to get an answer out of Blake, once she was done speaking, James felt the beginning of a switch coming on. He wouldn't be able to control this one and James knew better than to trust his wolf's judgment like this. James basically pushed Blake out of his hands so she fell back onto the bed as he scrambled off of it. "Stay here. Sleep on the bed. Be asleep in 30 minutes or face punishment." He growled out before quickly making his way towards the door.

Blake could practically feel James' anger continue to grow as she told him the truth. She closed her eyes and braced herself for him to lash out at her because that was the only logical progression of this to her. She felt tears well in her eyes as James demanded even more answers, sure that there was no good answer here. She could lie but then he would know she lied but if she told the truth, James would realize not everyone was as loyal as he had thought.

"Y-Yes," Blake mumbled. "Not.. Not all. J-Just.. some," Blake forced the words out, her voice shaking as James held her in his grip. She was just so sure that he was about to rip her apart that when James pushed her off of his lap, she was confused. She opened her eyes, to ask him what was going on but then he was barking orders at her.

Blake shrank away from him, not so much as breathing as James stormed out of the room. It was only when she couldn't hear him anymore that she let herself breathe. A sob tore from her lips and she buried herself in the blanket. Blake knew that she needed to to calm down and she needed to go to sleep so that James wouldn't punish her. She was convinced that James was going to punish her regardless of whether she managed to fall asleep or not.

She tried to fall asleep but with how worked up she was, Blake realized it was pointless. Instead, she settled with remaining in the same spot, not even reaching to pull the blankets over herself or adjusting properly to lay on the pillows. Blake stared at the wall, praying that when James returned he wouldn't be too harsh on her.

@ castle.

Once James had gotten through the door, he slammed it behind him. He wasn't able to control himself once there was something solid between him and Blake. He just didn't want to scare her anymore than he already was but this was an uncontrolled anger that was running through his veins. In an instant, James had shifted into his large wolf form and was running through the mansion, bursting through the door to get outside.

When James was outside, he went straight to towards the forest. He needed to kill something. Only blood would satisfy him. And as much as he wanted to ruin the people who forced his mate away from him, James couldn't do it until he knew the exact people. He couldn't destory his pack without the full truth of what occurred.

It was hours later until James arrived back to the mansion. He was covered in blood and the lawn had multiple dead animals on it. The members of his house would go out and prepare them for food. He was still a bit angry but now was able to control himself. So, James made his way back to his bedroom to take a shower. Hopefully, Blake would still be asleep.

Even though James wanted to avoid it, he couldn't get himself to check that she was still asleep. He needed to get inside anyways, so James moved through as quiet and quickly as he could.

Blake laid on the mattress, growing increasingly stressed because all she could think about was the fact that James was upset with her. And she had disobeyed him. As hard as she had tried, she hadn't managed to fall asleep despite James ordering her to sleep. She had to go to the bathroom but she didn't dare move from the bed even enough to relieve herself. She'd cried herself into hysterics at one point but she'd calmed down eventually, her attention focused on one spot on the wall.

When James started into the room, Blake tensed with an admission of the truth on her tongue. She had disobeyed him and she knew that she had to be punished. When James went directly into the bathroom, Blake lifted her head enough to watch the door for a moment before she dropped her head back against the mattress she laid against.

It wasn't until James started into the bedroom again that Blake felt her heart skip a beat again. He was going to be so angry with her but she knew that she couldn't even begin to apologize. Blake knew apologies were bad. Her stomach lurched at the idea of having to tell James she'd disobeyed him but she knew it was better to do it sooner rather than later. She should never hide her disobedience from him.

"S-Sir," Blake's voice cracked and she shrunk against the mattress, afraid to even turn in his direction. "I-I.. may I g-go to the bathroom.. before I am punished? Please?" Her voice was timid, afraid to even be speaking out of turn but she didn't know what James would do to punish her. She only hoped that since she'd blatantly accepted the fact that she would be punished would at least go somewhere to help ease her punishment.

@ castle.

James stopped in his tracks when Blake started to speak to him. His head turned over to her, looking at Blake closely. It seemed that she wouldn't even look in his direction and already the girl was speaking of punishments. He had no punishment to give her. There was nothing she did wrong...well technically she was still awake but that wasn't really a punishable offence. Though her questions were grating on his already weak resolve. He needed to resolve this before it pushed a button and he reacted poorly.

"Punishment? Do not assume that there is a punishment to give unless I say there is. You do not know my mind and I will not allow for you to make such assumptions for me. Though since you wished to be punished, very well." James glanced down at himself for a moment before letting out a sigh. What he was thinking would probably be unpleasant for her but he was hoping it would make him feel better. It was... disappointing that he would need to command Blake to care for him but it was all he had at the moment.

"You will wash the blood off of me then. I do not want to hear your whining or whether or not you are squeamish from the sight of it." With that, James headed into the bathroom, expecting Blake to follow him. Without looking back, he started to unclothe, wanting to get the grossness off of him.

Once Blake had followed him inside, James motioned to the bath for her to get it ready. Though as she did so, he watched her closely. He didn't want Blake to be afraid but... but he needed this. He needed her to take care of him in this moment. And he hoped that this would not make Blake grow fearful now that he was making a demand of her.

Blake felt her heart skip a beat when James started speaking about punishment. Her face morphed into a mask of confusion, a frown on her face as she tried to figure out whether she should reason with him. James had told her she would be punished if she didn't fall asleep and she hadn't been asleep. Of course she should be punished, she hadn't done what she was told. But she kept her lips shut, not wanting to argue with James and somehow try to act as if she had any say in what was going on. Blake knew that she didn't.

Her disappointment rose when James only talked about her punishment but didn't give her permission to use the toilet. Blake knew better than to press the issue, quick to move onto her feet so that she could follow after him. Her head was lowered, her hands behind her back as she waited for James' instructions. Blake was quick to rush over to the bathtub, starting it.

Kneeling in front of James only once she had grabbed a clean washcloth, Blake started washing the blood from his body. Her hands shook slightly because she was so sure that this couldn't possibly be the end of her punishment. Blake had assumed wrongly and she'd upset him. She was only washing him before he punished her fully. But Blake was okay with that. She knew that she had done wrong nad she needed to be punished for that.

"M-May.. May I empty the water? Just to refill it.. so it's not so red," Blake spoke, her voice barely enough to be considered a whisper. When James gave her permission, Blake moved to do just that. She started to squirm a bit, glancing toward the toilet. She considered how much trouble she might be in if she did but Blake wasn't that foolish. Once the water was starting to fill back up, Blake forced back a whimper. "Sir? May I.. go to the bathroom? Just while the water fills," she tried again, her voice a bit louder though she remained knelt at the foot of the tub.

@ castle.

"Use the bathroom next door," James said tiredly before he laid his head down against the back of the tub. As he watched her walk away, James let out a sigh. This was not what he wanted but he didn't really have a choice in the matter. At no point had he figured out what was going on between choice members of his pack and her... How could he had been so blind? And to make matters worse, she somehow managed to get into the hands of Killenger. She had been tortured by Killenger.

At this point, James' head was spinning and he was not sure what to do. What should be his priority? Should he be focusing on Blake and assisting her to get better? But how much time would it take before she was even ready to consider he was a friend and not a master? What about Killenger? Surely, James could not let this go by without some form of punishment. But that might take up more time and energy that he would want to at the moment. Then, of course, there was his pack. Certain members needed to be dealt with. Though he didn't know who yet. He had his suspicions but not confirmation. And was now really the time to divide his pack?

Once Blake finally made it back, James turned his head towards her. He was quiet as he looked her over before letting out a sigh. James knew in his heart that his mate would always be his priority. He needed to handle her first... but at the same time, James needed to do something about his pack. He would not allow a repeat to occur.

James reached up and rubbed his head. Perhaps he was doing this all wrong with her.... He wanted to give Blake freedom, to allow her to do what she wanted. But with everything that happened, maybe she needed more structure. Maybe he needed to make her a schedule, set rules to follow. Maybe he needed to provide little punishments when she failed. "Get a piece of paper and a pen and then sit down besides the tub,"

Blake could have cried with relief when James gave her permission. She launched to her feet and hurried out of the room, taking just long enough to relieve herself and to wash her hands before she returned to the bathroom that James was in. She moved to kneel beside the tub, to await her next instruction. Blake faltered on her way to the tub, James' voice stilling her in her movements. She hesitated, to make sure James was finished speaking before she gave a nod of her head.

Returning another moment later with a piece of paper and pen, Blake knelt before the tub. She was quiet, chewing on the inside of her lip. This felt more like it should, Blake was used to following orders without so much as a moment to think before she followed an order. Any hesitation was more than enough to earn her a punishment. Blake knew that well.

It was nothing like what Blake had been used to over the past month or so but she wasn't going to question James. This was all up to James, if he wanted her to write something down, she would.

@ castle.

When Blake was next to the tub, James' head turned slowly and he met her eyes. He hated how quickly she followed his order. Though perhaps this would be good for her? James could give her tasks and orders that wouldn't hurt her. He could give Blake something to do. Maybe it would be a way to keep her mind off of everything while she healed... Maybe the structure enough would make Blake feel better. Even though he wasn't in love with the idea, it seemed like he was better off trying than not.

"Write down the name of every pack member that told you that you were a burden or that you needed to leave. Anyone who wanted you gone and out of my life." James hesitated for a moment before continuing on. "If I find out that there is someone who was not on that list that should have been, you will be punished. Also vice versa."

With that said, he laid his head against the back of the tub again. "Tell me what they all did to you. What they did to convince you to leave. Do not argue with me. Just do what I tell you." With that said, he was hoping that Blake would just follow through instead of trying to protect them or stammering on about something else. This was important and he demanded to know the answer. That way he could deal with the bad punch of his pack and maybe find a way to make Blake feel better.

Eventually, he was done with the bath and slowly headed out of the tub. "I need a towel. Get me ready for bed and then continue on with your list."

Blake's eyes widened at the instructions that she was given, her heart skipping a beat as she stared at the paper she had in front of her. She wasn't really all that surprised that James was demanding to know who had pushed her away but she could only imagine what it would cause. James was going to have to fight with his pack to maintain control on some level and it worried her. Even as afraid as she was about anything and everything, Blake knew that she didn't want James to hurt.

Starting to write names on the paper, Blake was quiet as she tried to focus on what she was doing. "It.. It started out really simple. They would dump a glass of my drink or bump into me in the hallway. It escalated to shoving me and undoing my duties. And telling me that you were better off without me. That you needed to have a strong wolf by your side. If I couldn't even defend myself against them, then I was not worthy to be by your side. I cannot possibly lead a pack of wolves," she murmured. Her voice was quiet and surprisingly, Blake's voice didn't waver at all.

When James started to get out of the tub, Blake was on her feet and rushing toward the small closet in the corner of the room. Blake grabbed a towel and returned to James' side, starting to dry him off. "Would you like me to fetch a meal to eat? Or anything else?" Blake offered hesitantly, wanting to at least make sure that his needs were met before she returned to the list that James wanted her to finish writing.