¢αυѕє ι'м ℓσηєℓу αη∂ ι'м тιяє∂

Chloe

∂єαя gσ∂ тнє σηℓу тнιηg ι αѕк σƒ уσυ ιѕ
тσ нσℓ∂ нєя ωнєη ι'м ησт αяσυη∂,
ωнєη ι'м мυ¢н тσσ ƒαя αωαу
ωє αℓℓ ηєє∂ тнαт ρєяѕση ωнσ ¢αη вє тяυє тσ уσυ
ι ℓєƒт нєя ωнєη ι ƒσυη∂ нєя
αη∂ ησω ι ωιѕн ι'∂ ѕтαує∂
'¢αυѕє ι'м ℓσηєℓу αη∂ ι'м тιяє∂
ι'м мιѕѕιηg уσυ αgαιη σн ησ
ση¢є αgαιη

ѕσмє ѕєαя¢н, ηєνєя ƒιη∂ιηg α ωαу
вєƒσяє ℓσηg, тнєу ωαѕтє αωαу
ι ƒσυη∂ уσυ, ѕσмєтнιηg тσℓ∂ мє тσ ѕтαу
ι gανє ιη, тσ ѕєℓƒιѕн ωαуѕ
αη∂ нσω ι мιѕѕ ѕσмєσηє тσ нσℓ∂
ωнєη нσρє вєgιηѕ тσ ƒα∂є...

α ℓσηєℓу яσα∂, ¢яσѕѕє∂ αησтнєя ¢σℓ∂ ѕтαтє ℓιηє
мιℓєѕ αωαу ƒяσм тнσѕє ι ℓσνє ρυяρσѕє нαя∂ тσ ƒιη∂


Matt

Matt
My life had gotten a he'll of a lot more difficult ever since I did something stupid and went to jail. It almost cost me my career in music, it cost me the love of my life. Here I was three years later, out of jail, and a single father.

I loved James. I really did. But every time I saw his face, it reminded me of Val. It reminded me of the stupid decision that I let the guys talk me into. Now, her sister Michelle hated me. Her parents hated me, and the person who hated me most of all was her best friend Chloe.

Being a single father and a famous rockstar was rather difficult. Especially whenever you were constantly away from your family. For the first time since I gained custody of my son, I had to find someone to watch him. Val's parents wouldn't speak to me, Michelle was going on tour with us. My parents were on vacation and Amy was busy with her basketball career. The only person left to ask was Chloe. I hadn't seen her since before I had gone to jail.

I knew Chloe blamed me for Val's death. I blamed myself to. She left the prison upset, and died in an accident because of me. It had taken me hours of begging and pleading to finally get her to agree to babysit him. I wasn't going to lie. I was completely dreading her coming over.

When she finally got to my house, I opened the door and gave her a sheepish smile. She just ignored me and went right over to James. I didn't blame her. I rubbed the back of my neck as I closed the door. The look she gave me, showed me that James had told her I wanted them to come to the kick off show.

"I was hoping you would take him. He's never gotten to see us play before. He's seen us in the studio, but never on stage before." I said to her. "You don't have to pay for tickets or anything, I've got it all covered." I hoped she would agree to take him. "I also know it doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry Chloe. I blame myself just as much as everyone else does. I hate myself just as much as you hate me," I said quietly, looking at the ground.

Matt
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. I couldn't let the guilt of my mistakes, push me to the point of where I couldn't look at my own son.

When she hugged me, I hesitated a moment before wrapping my arms around her and hugging her back in a tight embrace. Nobody had hugged me since I had gotten out. Nobody but James. I needed it. I needed a hug from someone other than my son.

She wad right about the guys though. They didn't want to ask for the money. I don't know why I listened to them, they were all high at the time, and I should have known that it was a bad idea if I had to get high to do it. Part of me hated them for talking me into it. Part of me hated myself.

I had stayed strong for James as much as I could, but there had been times where I would sit in my room and hate myself and cry because I knew I fucked up and I wasn't going to get that wonderful woman back, and because I knew James would never meet his mother. As much as it killed me on the inside, I kept pictures of her around so that he knew what she looked like, I had the videos she took of us, that I showed him so that he knew what she sounded like.

"I'm sorry," I whispered quietly as I continued to hug her. I pulled away after a moment and looked down at her. "I have something for you," I said to her. I walked out of the living room and walked into my bedroom. I got into the nightstand that used to be Val's. There was a picture she always kept of her and Chloe. It was the only copy of it, and Val kept it. I walked backk out, holding it behind my back.

" You should have this. I know how much she meant to you and how much she loved this picture of you two." I said softly. I held it out to her. I hadn't seen Chole since before I had gone to jail. She didn't want to see my face for the longest time.

Matt
This was hard for me. Every time I went on tour I had to leave James behind. "You be good for Aunt Chloe, okay?" I said, looking into his deep brown eyes. They looked just like Val's. I picked him up and hugged him. While I held him, I looked over at Chloe.

" The show starts at six, but we dont perform until 8. There is a band that's opening for us." I explained to her. "Normally I would say no sugar or caffeine after 5, but I'm sure the concert will wear him down a good bit." I explained to her. "You have my number if you need me for anything. He normally goes to bed around 8. He doesn't normally have me read to him, he just needs tucked in. His nightlight should be in one of his bags."

Matt

"Tha t means a lot, thank you Chloe.' I said as she walked out the door. I stood there, watching them until she drove off. I sighed quietly before closing the door and walking to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and pulled the cap off before taking a long drink.

This tour was going to be exceptionally hard for me. It was around the time that Val passed away, and I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle this tour without breaking down atleast once.

Matt
"Hey buddy!" I said in a cheerful tone as I helped him up onto my lap. "Have you been good for Aunt Chloe?" I asked. He most likely was behaving the way that he should, but sometimes he acted out. Especially whenever he didn't get what he wanted, if he wanted it bad enough.

" Is he behaving the way he should?" I asked Chloe. I knew he most likely was, but I wanted to make sure. Sometimes he didn't behave the way he was supposed to.

" If he gives you any trouble, just let me know. I can call and snap some sense into him." I told her. Normally if he wasn't behaving properly, I would call, talk to him in a stern, mean tone and he straightened back up.

Matt

I gave Brian a sharp elbow to the ribs, and was satisfied whenever he whined in pain and got up to grab a beer. "I really do appreciate it Chloe." I told her.

"How about you guys quit staring at her like She's an alien." I snapped at them.

"In just staring cause she got hot," Jimmy said wit h a shrug before jumping up to go over and join Brian at the alcohol table. I shook my head and sighed looking at Chloe.

' If there is ever anything you need, let me know okay?" I said, giving her a sweet smile.

Matt
I gave her a sweet smile. "I'm okay for now. Ask me that again in a few weeks and I might not be. " I knew she understood what I meant by that. Even though it had been three years since her death, the day was always a horrible day for me. Everything that could go wrong did. It was like she was haunting me and she took her anger out on me on that day.

"Everyone always tells me 'your a father, you don't have time to cry' or 'you're the reason She's dead. You don't get to cry over her'" I said, looking into her eyes. "Everyone seems to forget that I'm human too. That I loved her more than anyone in the world, and if I could go back and change everything I would. " I explained. Everyone enjoyed making me feel like shit. I didn't sleep much, because whenever I did, all I saw was her, and how the last words she said to me were 'I hate you for this'. Nobody knew what she had said to me. Nobody knew exactly how bad of terms we were on whenever she left the prison. I never got to make things up to her.

Matt
I let out a soft sight and squeezed her hand. "Well, let's hope he grows up to be understanding like his mother and that he doesn't inherit my temper or he will hate me," I said to her.

I wasn't looking forward to the day that I had to explain to my son, that I'm the reason why his mother is dead.

Matt

"thank you," I said to Chloe, I looked over at Brian when he said five minutes to show time. I let out a long sigh and set James down before standing up. I walked over to the table and grabbed a pair of heavy duty ear muffs.

" You gotta keep these on the whole time okay buddy," I said, crouching down so that I was at James's level. "You'll still be able to hear us, it just won't hurt your ears." I smiled when he took them from me. "Okay daddy!" He said in a cheerful tone.

I looked at Chole and hugged her. "Thank you," I whispered in her ear. I knew she wouldn't need a pair of muffs, because she had been backstage at a concert before. I walked away from the two, going into a private room so I could warm up once more before we preformed.