la vie en rose.

[ would you like to skip to when Ellie and Sigyn are going back to Midgard in the next post or so? ]

Ellie nodded her head agreeing that she needed to rest and let Eir do her job, and to make a full recovery. She couldn’t help but be a little upset by the entire situation however because she was immortal now, Thor was clearly upset with her and the situation, and honestly Ellie wanted to sleep everything off. She wanted to wake up and ever be fine, and even though she knew that wasn’t going to happen she closed her eyes again deciding to try and get some rest so she’d be a little more prepared for everything that was bound to happen from here.

"I don't understand why all these Hallmark movies make Christmas in New York seem so magical, it's really not that great."Sigyn said as she grabbed a cookie from the box of cookies her sister had gotten from Insomnia Cookies on her way over. She had been back on Midgard for about a week now. She and Ellie had both returned together, she because she couldn't be on Asgard when everything was a constant reminder of Loki and Ellie because she and Thor both seemed to need some space from each other. "And half of them involve a character who has a name that is somehow related to the holiday. And the plots are all so similar." They were all watching Christmas movies in Sigyn's apartment. Thankfully, her landlord hadn't gotten rid of her stuff in the time she had spent away on Asgard, and had agreed to give her some time to catch up on things before she started paying her rent again.

"They've clearly never actually experienced a Christmas in New York," Ellie said grabbing a cookie herself. "And I feel like the people who take movies like this to heart would be disappointed to learn that it's not any more magical here than it is somewhere else," She said with a sigh. Ellie wasn't going to lie and say that she hated all the Christmas' she's spent in New York because she didn't, she'd loved them all, but she didn't love them because they were in New York, she loved them because of the bond she had with her family. Where she didn't really matter. Ellie had been back in New York for about a week now given that she and Thor needed some time apart to figure things out, and honestly, she hated it. She was hanging out with Sigyn and her sister right now because they were planning to watch bad Hallmark movies and eat cookies and had invited Ellie and she'd needed to get out of her dad's house before he drove her up a wall asking all his questions. She was glad to be home for the holiday and to continue one more year of family traditions with him, but Ellie didn't feel like talking to her father of all people about what was going on with her and Thor because she didn't even know herself. She'd almost died nearly two weeks ago and the only reason she hadn't was that Thor had fed her a magical apple that made her immortal. And maybe it wouldn't be a big deal to some people but it was to her. Ellie didn't even know how to begin to process that information. But Thor was also still mad at her for putting him in that position, to begin with, and honestly, she didn't blame him. There was just a lot going on that she was trying to work through and that she knew Thor needed to work through, and the last person she wanted to share everything with was her dad. So she'd decided to hang out with Sigyn and her sister until the following day when she was going to go searching for a tree with her dad, and hopefully, if everything went well and they found the right tree early enough in the day they were going ice skating. "So before I forget would you guys like to go ice skating with me and my dad tomorrow night?"

"I mean, seeing the tree in Rockefeller Center is cool, and the big snowflakes that they have lit up down each of the streets is pretty, but it's still New York. It's not nearly as magical as everyone makes it out to be in movies and TV shows." Sigyn said as she took a bite out of her cookie. "Damn, why did I agree to watch movies with a bunch of cynics? I don't know any Christmas movies that are actually realistic." Kara said as she reached for another cookie from the box. "I point out the plot holes in these movies every year, Kar. Don't seem so surprised." She said, moving to rest her hand on her belly as she felt some movement inside. She'd felt the baby kick for the first time last week, and she'd been happy for a moment before she was reminded that it wasn't something her husband had gotten to experience with her. "You wouldn't mind having us with you?" Sigyn asked, pushing thoughts of moments her late husband would miss out on from her head as she spoke. "I know that ice skating is usually a thing you do with your dad this time of year."

"I don't mind the cartoon Christmas movies," Ellie said not really sure why she'd never enjoyed Hallmark movies or even Christmas movies involving real people in general, but she hadn't. They weren't her cup of tea, however, pop in a holiday cartoon and Ellie was still all for it, even now in her late twenties, though thinking about age was something she tried not to dwell on for too long given her circumstances. "I don't mind at all," Ellie said sighing as she laid back on the floor, "honestly, I think he might have a date tonight he just isn't telling me about it so I was thinking that if I invited you guys a it would keep him off my back about Thor for a little bit and b maybe he'd invite whoever he's been talking to because he thinks I'll be distracted by you guys. And I'm not going to force him to introduce me if he does, but I might spy a little just to see if I'm right," Ellie said truly just wanting her dad to be happy, even if it meant inviting more people into their traditions. Ellie didn't mind, the more the merrier really, she just wanted him to be happy.

"Yea, those aren't bad. They're pretty cute." Sigyn said as she broke off a piece of her cookie and popped it into her mouth. "I didn't realize how much I missed Insomnia Cookies until now, Kar. This is why you're my favorite sibling." She said with a slight laugh as she leaned her head against her sister's shoulder. She was glad that she at least had Ellie and Kara right now. She didn't know how sanely she'd be handling all of this otherwise. "Well, if you're sure that you don't mind us tagging along then I'm up for it. I haven't gone ice skating in a really long time." Sigyn said before her sister said she'd be up for it too. "How's my little niece or nephew?" Kara asked afterwards, Sigyn's hand moving to rest on her stomach not going unnoticed. "Definitely awake. Must like Insomnia's Snickerdoodles as much as I do." Sigyn said with a slight laugh.

Ellie smiled at the interaction between the sisters and the comment Sigyn made about the baby being awake. Ellie was happy for her friend because having a baby and starting a family was something wonderful when it was done correctly and with the person you loved. At the same time though Ellie still felt awful about what had happened to Loki. Though she knew no one could have known it was going to happen. It just sucked for Sigyn that she was expecting a baby and her husband was dead so he’d never know his own child. Really everything had been hard for them lately which was awful, but Sigyn had remained pretty strong throughout which was something Ellie admired about her. She was trying not to think of her own situation though because what Sigyn had right now with Loki, even though he was gone, was something Ellie wanted with Thor. Ellie wanted a future with him, she wanted a family with him, she just wanted him in general but everything seemed so messed up right now that she wasn’t sure about anything. She had no idea what he was thinking or feeling because she hadn’t spoken to him since before they’d returned to Midgard and she didn’t like that but he was upset and she hadn’t wanted to make things worse because it was already bad enough.

Sigyn hadn't been a complete mess, didn't break down constantly into tears or anything like that, but there were moments when she'd get lost in her own thoughts and her mind would drift to Loki and she'd end up in tears. She tried her best to remain strong though, because she knew the stress wasn't good for the baby, and the baby was the only piece of her husband that she had left. It would certainly be hard to deal with it all once the baby came and she'd have to do everything as a single mom, but she loved her child so much already, and she knew that she'd figure it all out and make sure that it lived the best life that it possibly could. She watched as her sister moved so that she could rest a hand on her belly and had her face close as she spoke to the baby. "Hey there, munchkin, Auntie Kara's going to spoil you soooo much when you get here. I'm going to be like the coolest aunt to you ever, I promise." She said, causing Sigyn to laugh just before the baby kicked where her sister's hand was. "Did you want to feel, El? It's truly incredible."

Ellie was pulled from her thoughts of Thor and their future when Sigyn asked if she wanted to feel the baby kick, and honestly anything happy sounded good or her right now. “Yes,” Ellie said smiling before she moved over to also rest her hand in Sigyn’s stomach. “Hey little one,” she said softly with a smile. “Auntie Ellie’s right there with Auntie Kara. You’re going to be so spoiled when you get here,” she said knowing it might’ve been weird to call herself the baby’s Aunt since she wasn’t actually related to Sigyn at all, but she was technically still getting married to Thor and they were like brother and sister, plus she’d felt like a sister to Sigyn given how much time they’d spent together on Asgard and all. So maybe it wasn’t weird at all. “I can’t wait to have a baby,” Ellie said wishing she could be starting a family of her own now, but she knew she had to wait.

Sigyn didn't think it was weird that Ellie was calling herself the baby's aunt. Ellie had become like a sister to her, and of course Thor was like her brother, so it made perfect sense that Ellie would be an aunt to her child. "You have quite a few people here who can't wait to meet you, love." She said with a smile. "And quite a few people who want to spoil you beyond belief." She added with a laugh, smiling a bit more when the baby kicked after she spoke as if indicating that it knew that there were people who loved it. "It's incredible." She said in response to Ellie's comment about wanting to have a baby of her own. "Knowing that you're responsible for helping to create another life...it amazes me every day, and so does what a woman's body can really do."

“It’s always amazed me as well,” Ellie said finding it so incredible that two people could just create another life together. And it was amazing what the female body could go through as well. “I don’t really care much for Beyoncé but her song about women running the world really is spot on. I mean we can give birth and then go right back to living as if we didn’t. Obviously it’s an adjustment but it’s still pretty amazing,” Ellie said really happy for Sigyn that she was getting this opportunity even given the circumstances.

"That song speaks the truth." Sigyn said. "Plus, I'm pretty sure that with everything we go through that we're way stronger then any man could ever be. Just saying." She laughed quietly. Despite everything, she was happy that she was going to have a family of her own even though it wasn't necessarily in the conventional sense that everyone knew. She loved her baby so much already. It was crazy to think that considering she hadn't met her child yet, but everyone did say that the bond between a mother and her child was the strongest bond there could ever be. "So, are we iceskating at Rockefeller Center later? Because I haven't gone to see the tree yet this year."

Ellie chuckled, “it really does, and I totally agree,” she said pretty sure men wouldn’t be able to handle half the crap women went through just on a daily basis. “Of course. Where else would we go?” Ellie joked knowing there may have been other places to ice skate around them, but no where was as wonderful as Rockerfeller Center. Plus that’s the only place her and dad ever went so she wasn’t really about to try somewhere new. And she was pumped about going ice skating, seeing the tree, picking out a tree that she’d get to decorate, and just all the Christmas traditions in general, Ellie just wished that Thor was there with her; because she wanted to share all of this with him. Plus she felt like she’d feel a lot better if she could just talk through her feelings with him, but she was giving him some space and as a result trying to work through her emotions alone.

Sigyn smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right." She said with a slight laugh. She was glad that she had Ellie and her sister right now, because everything would have been tough for her at any given time of year, but during the holidays it was harder when one was grieving and dealing with some kind of loss. She wasn't really feeling the holiday cheer or even some cases the magic of the holiday season this year, and she knew it was because of what she was going through right now, but Ellie and Kara were making it a bit easier for her.

[Okay, so like I'm super impatient and want holiday fluff with Thor and Ellie and Loki to reveal himself to Sigyn, so maybe we could skip to when Thor comes to Midgard and he and Ellie talk things out and then loads of fluff and skip ahead a bit more for Loki and Sigyn to when Sigyn goes back to Asgard to get some more of her things since the two couples will kind of be split between the two different realms for quite a while soon enough anyway? ]

[ I’m a okay with that because I’m totally ready for some fluff. ]

Ellie’s dad has gone pretty well, she’d woken up and went out to get a tree with her dad and it was perfect. She’d gotten a little shopping done liked she’d wanted and even gone ice skating like she’d wanted. Truly the only thing in the world that would make Ellie happier was Thor being there but she couldn’t exactly wish him there. All she could to was try and not think about him and try to enjoy her time with her dad and friends. This was Christmas time after all and why would she want to spend time sad when she could find a way to be happy, even if just for a little bit.

[Yesss ]

The month of December seemed to fly by with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Christmas had been alright for Sigyn. She was originally supposed to spend it with Ellie's family, but a week or so before the holiday, Kara told her that their parents felt terrible for how they'd acted a few months back, and she had talked things through with them and, well, now she had the support of her family in its entirety to get her through everything now. It made things a little bit easier on her, and after some convincing on her sister's part, Sigyn decided to return to Asgard to grab the last of her belongings from the palace. And it all had been going pretty well until she grabbed the stack of books she had lent to Loki just after Frigga's funeral and that was when she found it. A slip of parchment paper had fallen out of the book. It was a letter. One that broke her completely the moment she started reading it. She'd held it together pretty well this last month but the second she started reading through the letter, she heard his voice in her head and she'd been done for. "I miss your father so much, little one." She said quietly, running her hand over her belly lightly once she finally willed the tears to stop. "So, so much."

---

Thor hated being away from Ellie. He hated that he had just let her return to Midgard with Sigyn when he had and hadn't even said more than maybe two or three words to her when he discovered that she was leaving. Yes, he'd still been upset with her because she hadn't listened to him and she'd scared him so much when he neatly lost her, but he shouldn't have let her leave like that. He wanted to fix things, truly he did, and he knew there was much for them to talk about. Plus, he just really missed her. More than he could ever really imagine missing anyone. So, after thinking it over, he decided to go to her. He knew that he'd likely find her with her family what with the time of year and everything else, and that was why he had Heimdall send him directly down the street from her father's apartment. He didn't know what he would say when he saw her, but he knew that he couldn't wait to see her.

When Loki heard that Sigyn was back on Asgard getting her things he’d sent guards to check on her, though he had a good feeling he knew how she was doing. It wan worse than he’d expected however as the guards returned and told him how she’d broken down in her chambers in tears. “Please send for Lady Sigyn,” he told he guards not sure how this was going to go, but he was going to tell her the truth now. He couldn’t take it anymore her not knowing. He felt awful having lied to her for so long now, especially since she was having his baby, but he’d had to. But it was time to fix it. He just hoped she’d take it better than he had a feeling she would.

---

Ellie walked up to her dads apartment glad to be home honestly. She’d had a great day and all but she was getting a little tired and just wanted to sleep some things off, plus there was still two weeks until Christmas and a lot her and her dad still had to do, so being up early was a normal thing for them so they could fit as much as they could into the day. “Thanks for today dad,” she told her father as they walked down the hall stopping when they were right in front of his door where Thor was standing clear as day. “I’ll give you two a minute,” her dad said kissing the top of Ellie’s head and nodding towards Thor before walking inside. “Hi,” she said pushing her fingers through her hair and biting her lip. Seeing him there made her feel a lot of things. She was happy to see him and nervous to talk to him. “What’re you doing here?” She asked him hoping he hadn’t come with awful news like he was breaking up with her or something, because she felt like Thor would be that person who broke up with someone in person, and she really didn’t want to deal with that.

"Just a moment!" Sigyn stood and walked over to the mirror in her room to try and get rid of some of the evidence that she'd been crying when there was a knock on her chamber door. Once she was certain that she looked the best that she would given the situation, she walked over and opened the door, surprised to find one of the palace guards standing outside. "My apologies, Lady Sigyn, but the Allfather has requested your presence in his personal chambers." The guard told her, causing Sigyn's eyebrows to knit together slightly in confusion. Why did Odin want to speak with her in his chambers? She wasn't going to question it though and simply allowed the guard to escort her to the Allfather's chambers. "You wanted to see me, Allfather?"

---

Thor sighed, having knocked on the door a couple of times with no answer. No one was home. Of course that would be his luck. However, he didn't wait too long before he heard Ellie's voice from down the hall. His heart started beating faster and his stomach tied into knots. He didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous at the prospect of speaking with her and seeing her for the first time in a few weeks. Maybe it was because things hadn't ended well between them when she left for Midgard. Regardless, he was still nervous. He couldn't help smiling when he did see her though. She looked as beautiful as ever. "Hi..." He said carefully. "I wanted to see you...but if you do not wish to see me then I can leave..."

“Guards leave us,” he told the guards waiting until he heard the door close before he dropped the act and turned to her. “Yes, I wanted to see you,” he told her really hoping this wasn’t about to blow up in his face. “I heard you had returned from Midgard and knew it was likely the best time to tell you given you I had no idea when I’d get the chance again,” Loki told her as he took a moment to admire her. She was very clearly pregnant and he knew that made her emotional so he could only really imagine how this was going to play out, but he hoped it went well. “And I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you anything sooner, but I had a plan and in order for it to really work I needed you to believe it all. Because I knew if you didn’t people would be suspicious, and then everting would fall apart,” he said running his fingers through his hair. He knew he hadn’t exactly given her the details of his plan, but they weren’t that important anymore given he’d gotten what he’d wanted.

---

“You’re the only person I’ve wanted to see since I returned,” Ellie told him feeling the urge to just close the small distance between them and kiss him, but she didn’t because she knew they needed to talk and make sure they were on the same page about things first so they didn’t get further down the road and end up here again. Ellie wanted to do things with him right, she didn’t want to ruin anything or rush things and possibly ruin something. The key to a good relationship after all was communication. “So I’m glad you came,” she said already feeling a little more relaxed than she had only moments ago, even though there was still a little tension in the air she felt like that would be gone soon enough. She didn’t know where to start, if he had something he needed to get off his chest, or even what was going to happen after this talk, but she knew it needed to happen. It made her wonder though, if they did work things out would they stay on Midgard for awhile or return to Asgard? Which was just another question she needed to add to her list of things for them talk about.

Sigyn froze where she was when the illusion dropped. It couldn't be...and yet she'd know her husband's magic anywhere. She couldn't believe it. He was alive. He'd been alive this entire time and had let him think that she was dead. He had lied to everyone, but more importantly her. They never used to keep secrets from each other, and yet he had kept this from her. Kept the fact that he was planning on faking his own death from her. "You lied to me." Was all she said at first, trying to process everything that he had told her, and simply the fact that he was alive. "I lost Frigga, and then I thought I was going to lose Ellie, and I thought that I'd lost you, but you've been alive this entire time, sitting here on the damn throne! How could you be so selfish?" She didn't care if someone in the palace heard her shouting. She was upset, and felt betrayed. It had only been about a month and a half, and to everyone else she was handling things as well as she could, but the truth was she hadn't been okay at all, and if she didn't have the baby to worry about she didn't know what she would have done.

---

Her words were a relief, she had missed him as much as he’d missed her, but he knew that there was much that they needed to talk about. It would be so easy for him to just pull her to him and forget about everything that had happened, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. They needed to talk about this. “I shouldn’t have let you leave.” He told her. “I was angry about what happened when we were fighting Malekith. You have to understand how scared I was, Ellie. I had lost my mother, and on that very day I lost Loki, and then I thought I was going to lose you. You are the most important thing to me in all nine realms. I know that you’re not nearly as fragile as I might act like you are, but there was a reason why I didn’t want you coming with Loki and I. And when I thought I was going to lose you—I’ve never been so scared in all my years, Ellie.”