second chances.

"Of course I can." Kate told him with a smile. She didn't mind showing him anything or catching him up to speed from current society. She knew that it was a lot, and that it was probably even more intimidating if he were to figure things out on his own, so she really didn't mind showing him at all. Once they had all of the ingredients in the pot for the soup, she turned the stove on. "So, we just have to stir periodically, and it should be ready in about half an hour to forty-five minutes...were there any memories that you want me to help you work through or something? If you want to talk about something else we can do that too. I could start showing you the phone thing, whatever you want." She rambled a bit. She didn't want him to feel obligated to talk about the past with her, so she hoped that he didn't mind her asking if that was something that he'd want to do.

---

Steve chuckled at her words and actions. He truly was thankful that he had Hazel in his life through everything since he came out of the ice. She really did help him through it all, and she definitely was a much welcomed distraction whenever things got really crazy. Right now, a distraction was exactly what he needed, and getting breakfast with the blonde and Sam was precisely the distraction that he needed considering how hungry he was right now. He wouldn't admit it, but he really probably should have gone to the grocery story earlier in the week...he just hadn't for whatever reason. "That's a lie, Sawyer, we do go to the grocery store, we just don't get food that you think is healthy."

Bucky has a lot of things he wanted to ask her really. He had a lot of memories he needed to work through both good and bad. But he also wanted to dive into leanring all about phones and stuff. So he had a choice to make. “I say you teach me about the phones,” he said wanting to feel a little more connected to the world they were living in now. He could relive the past any day because that was changing all the time. His past would stay the same no matter when he talked about it. Everything else however was. He knew a lot had changed in the last seventy years but he felt like a lot of that had been just within the last twenty. And if things could change that fast and he was already this far behind he didn’t want to imagine how hard it would be to catch up if he waited.

---

“Really?” Hazel said with a raised brow. “Rogers if you two go to the grocery so much why is when I come over do you have no food?” She teased knowing they went occasionally because they did always have some form of chip or cookie, and sometimes they even had things in the fridge but it was usually just basic stuff like milk and eggs. Though she couldn’t blame them for not going as often as someone else might’ve. Steve and Sam were trying to lay low because they were kind of fugitives. That still baffled too. She just had a hard time believing either of the men she was walking with right now could ever be considered fugitives. And she hated how it had all happened, because it really could’ve been prevented. She supposed she was just happy that they hadn’t been arrested and she could spend time with them.

Kate nodded. "Alright, we'll start with phones then." She said as she grabbed her phone off of the counter and motioned for him to sit down at the kitchen table with her so that they could keep an eye on the soup while she started with her lesson on phones. "They really aren't all that hard to use." She told him as she unlocked her phone. "But you can do a lot with them, so I guess I'll start by telling you some things that you can do with phones now. You can make phone calls, send text messages, which are just written messages rather than spoken messages, send emails, essentially longer text messages, take pictures, record videos, listen to music, and search the internet for different things."

---

"I think that's an exaggeration on your part, Sawyer. We have food in the apartment when you come sometimes, not all of the time, but definitely sometimes." Steve said with a slight chuckle. He knew that he and Sam were pretty bad at going grocery shopping and keeping food in the house, but they both did eat quite a bit so when there was food in the apartment it didn't really stay there for very long at all. Plus, they were trying to limit their time out in public as they were still laying low and probably would be for the foreseeable future. It sucked honestly, but it was for the best. He never imagined that he would be considered a fugitive, but he supposed that things were changing now. The world was changing, and not necessarily for the better.

"That's a lot of stuff for one little device," Bucky said still not quite sure how they worked but he had a feeling he never really would. "And people do all of that with them all the time? Oh, and what's the internet exactly? Because I've never used it before, at least not that I can recall," he said not sure really if he had or not. He supposed he could've used it as The Winter Soldier and maybe just didn't remember, but that wasn't likely. And even if he had he couldn't remember so it still didn't do him any good. "Plus I have kind of lived a life of exile for the last handful of years trying to lay low and all." There hadn't really been a lot of time for him to really learn what everything was with how much he jumped around just trying to remain hidden. Plus who would he have asked?

---

"It doesn't really matter, we'll stop by the store after breakfast and stock up on stuff. Then tonight for dinner I'll actually cook something," Hazel told him unable to describe the feelings that she had right now. She loved her fiance, but when she was around Steve any other man she felt anything for slipped from her mind and it was so easy for her to get caught up in moments with him. It would be so easy for her simply grab his hand and lace their fingers together or to kiss his cheek. Because this was the man she was supposed to have these things with anyway. She was supposed to be with him, they were meant to be, they were both there together again after all these years after all. But Hazel really was scared of losing him again. And she was afraid that if she was with him and the lost him again that she'd lose herself for real this time. So she held back and silently wished things could be easier.

"Yea, they don't look like much, but they're pretty damn useful." Katie told him. "Well, they don't do all of that simultaneously, but people do use all of those different functions pretty frequently. The internet is a global communication and information network. So, people communicate via the internet, they can find out a ton of information just by typing something into a search engine and do so much more. It's really useful, but I think some people are a little too attached to it." She unlocked her phone so that she could start showing him different things that could be done on the phone. "So, if I wanted to text Steve, I already have his number in my phone, so I would go to his contact and then select new message and then type out whatever I wanted to tell him or ask him."

---

"You're the best, doll." Steve told her with a smile. For a guy who had been out of the ice for a few years now, he still didn't really know how to cook to well. He still liked to use the excuse that they only really seemed to know how to boil things in the forties, but Hazel and Kate seemed to have figured things out for themselves over the years. Of course, they both hadn't essentially come back from the dead. They'd been alive this entire time and lived through so many different events that he had missed out on. He knew that the world had changed a lot, and it was continuing to change, but when he was with Hazel, he sometimes almost forgot just how much had really changed. He almost reached for her hand sometimes or went to kiss her cheek, and then remembered that she wasn't his anymore.

"Steve has one of these things?" Bucky said finding it slightly hilarious that Steve Rogers had a cell phone. "Does he know how to use it?" He asked wondering if his friend had, had any better luck figuring all this stuff out. He was sure that Steve was a little more accustomed to everything though since he'd had a little more freedom and time to really pick up on things. "So you can find anything you want to know on the internet? That just seems insane. How is that safe at all? And surely you can't trust everything you find on there right? And people know that?" He asked hoping that people at least didn't believe everything they read online. Though he was sure with how people had always been really that there were plenty of people who would believe anything. Though Bucky did suppose it was kind of cool that there was so much information at the tips of their fingers, even if it wasn't all true. It seemed dangerous, but kind of cool too if used properly.

---

"I should've just stayed home if you two are going to act like lovebirds all day. I mean would you like a room?" Sam said calling them both out really pretty sure the flirting was getting worse the more they hung out. And not worse in a they couldn't flirt way, but worse in a one if not both of them were going to end up more heartbroken if they didn't stop kind of way. Which he got it, they cared deeply for one another and were supposed to be together, but things happened and now they were getting a second chance. But Hazel was engaged and she hadn't called anything off yet no matter what she felt. And Sam kind of hated watching it because he cared about them both too and didn't want them to end up hurt, but he was sure they didn't know what the hell they were doing. Hazel really didn't know which path to go down. She didn't know if she should let herself move on from Steve fully and marry someone else, or if she should tell him what was holding her back and see what happened. She knew that they'd have to talk about everything eventually because it wasn't like she could hold out on the marriage forever after all. It was all just so much.

[ could we skip to later that night in the next post? Maybe she can walk in on him with just a towel when she's going to tell him dinners ready, and from there we can have them eventually end up on the roof cuddling and talking and what not. ]

"Shockingly, yes." Kate said with a quiet laugh. "Hazel and I had to show him a few things, and he still sometimes forgets he's sending a message in all capital letters, but he gets it for the most part." Sometimes, she forgot what century she was in. She had both Steve and Bucky with her, and if she didn't think about it too much, or dwell on the reality of the situation at hand, it was easy to forget that this wasn't 1942. "It really isn't safe, honestly. A lot of kids get into trouble using it, and there are a lot of creeps out there who use it to their advantage. A lot of people are also extremely gullible and believe everything that they read on the internet which, anyone with even a little bit of common sense, would realize isn't exactly the best thing to do. But if it's on the internet, people automatically think that it's like God's word or something. It's crazy." She shook her head slightly.

---

Morning bled into the afternoon, and soon enough they were back at the apartment and Hazel was cooking dinner. Steve realized that he hadn't showered yet that day, and decided to hop in real quick while dinner was cooking. He didn't know what Hazel was making, but it had smelt delicious, and, truthfully, he knew that whatever she made would be good. He hadn't tried anything of hers that he didn't like, she was quite the cook honestly. After a quick shower, he got out and made his way down the hallway to his bedroom, towel slung low on his hips, as he realized he hadn't brought a change of clothes into the bathroom with him. Normally, that was something that he remembered, but it had honestly slipped his mind for whatever reason.

"Okay, well if he can figure this thing out then so can I," Bucky said determined to get the hang of everything. Plus it didn't really seem that hard just a little confusing. But he was sure the more he tried to get the hang of things the easier they'd become. "So it's both a good and a bad thing then?" He said feeling like that was what she was saying. Clearly, it was bad because there were people who took advantage of it or who were just idiots and took everything they read to heart when they shouldn't, but it also seemed good that people were able to access the information they might actually need. "Okay, so you can use these phones to get on the internet, talk to people both with your voice and through electronic letters, take pictures, and listen to music. So what are all these little things for?" He asked pointing to the apps wondering what else the little device could do.

---

"Sam, will you set the table please?" Hazel asked as she added a few final touches as she finished up with dinner. Once it was almost ready just needing about ten more minutes to simmer and let everything meld together perfectly she decided to let Steve know it was almost ready. And she let herself into his room not realizing he'd just taken a shower, or finding anything odd about it given how often she just let herself in any way. "oh, I didn't realized you'd just taken a shower," Hazel said feeling a blush creep up on her cheeks as she took him in. She didn't mean to stare but she couldn't exactly take her eyes off of him either. She finally did look away and bit her lip. "I just wanted to tell you dinner's almost ready,"

"That's the attitude I like to see." Kate said with a smile. She had set her mind on catching him up to speed with everything, and she knew she'd probably have to be patient with him, and that he'd probably have a ton of questions for her, but she really didn't mind at all. She wanted to help him in any way that she possibly could, and if he wanted to start by learning how to use a cellphone, then she was going to teach him how to use a cellphone. "Essentially, yes." She nodded. "A lot of people don't necessarily see it that way, but those are the people who believe everything that they read on the internet." She punctuated her words with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Those are apps. They have them for a lot of different things: Games, social media platforms which are essentially places people go to brag about their lives and post pictures and other things, photo editors, and a bunch of other things."

---

Steve had just gotten to his room and was searching through his dresser for a change of clothes when he heard the door click open behind him. He tensed for a moment before turning, knowing that it was Hazel because she always seemed to let herself into his room without knocking. "Yea..." He said slowly. "I figured you two would have heard the water running." He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head as he shifted his gaze away from her, ever the awkward man he had always been. "Alright, I'll be out in a few minutes then...just gotta get dressed first." He didn't know what else to say to her, he was never one for confrontational stuff really, not when it came to talking to pretty dames, and Hazel was the prettiest dame he had ever laid eyes on.

[I was thinking that we could do a skip for Kate and Bucky? He has a nightmare, possibly of killing her as the Soldier, and she hears him screaming so she goes to him, and he ends up hurting her in the process?]

Bucky hadn't had a nightmare this bad in a while. This was probably the worst one he'd ever had really. Of course, any nightmare where he was killing someone he cared for deeply was bad. This one was different though because he was killing Kate, and before he hadn't fully remembered who she was. Before she'd just been his friend, now though he knew she'd been more than that, and killing her meant he was killing the woman he loved. The woman he'd wanted to spend the rest of his days with, the woman who was supposed to get his best, and who he was supposed to start a family with. Killing her meant he was killing his future and his happiness. But he couldn't stop himself. It was like an ongoing battle in his mind. He was trying to stop himself, but he couldn't because he was too strong. And all the while he'd had no idea that he was screaming trying to wake himself up, even though it wasn't working too well.

---

Hazel pushed her fingers through her hair as she stole one more glance at him and felt a very similar feeling to what she'd felt the very first time she'd see him shirtless seventy-some years ago after he'd first been injected with the serum, before she turned to leave his room and go finish dinner. Steve really was a handsome man, and in all honesty, Hazel had always found his inability to flirt very well, and overall awkwardness to be rather charming in a way. And in moments when it was just the two of them she really did find it so easy to slip into old habits with him, or even to forget that time had passed and things had changed. Because even though their time together had been short-lived and he'd never gotten the chance to really take her out dancing like they'd wanted, they'd still had some time together. And while they were both closing in on at least a hundred years old no one could tell because they didn't look that old. But that was good for them because it gave them more time together to make up for what they lost she supposed. "

Kate woke to screaming. Even if she'd been a heavy sleeper, she would have heard him. She'd never experienced him when he was having one of his nightmares before, but Steve told her that Bucky had mentioned them to him once before. It made sense. With everything that he'd been through, everything that he'd done because of Hydra, she'd be surprised if it all didn't haunt him. She was quick to head to his room, pausing briefly in the doorway when she saw him thrashing about in bed. She knew that the last thing one was supposed to do was wake someone with clear signs of PTSD up from a nightmare, but she couldn't just sit back and watch it happen. She needed to wake him, and so she tried to. "Bucky...Bucky wake up, it's just a dream. It's not really happening....Bucky, wake up!" Before she could process what was happening, a pair of cool metal fingers were wrapped around her neck, cutting off her air supply quickly. "Jamie...please..."

---

Steve ran his fingers through his still wet hair when the door shut behind her and let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. He was in deep shit and he knew it. Hazel was getting married, she was engaged to another man, and yet he couldn't help feeling the same way he always had about her. It was like no time had passed at all. Of course, it likely didn't help that since she'd been helping him through everything, his feelings for her seemed to have gotten stronger if anything. And he knew that he shouldn't act on them, because it just wasn't right, but every time he was alone with her it took every ounce of effort that he had not to grab her and kiss her. So, he stood there in his room for a couple of seconds, mulling over what had just happened, before he changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and made his way out into the kitchen. "Something smells good."

Bucky had always been alone when these things happen. He’d always woken up eventually drenched in sweat and breathing heavier than normal but being able to reassure himself that he was still in bed. They were always just dreams. This time was different though. This time there was someone else with him, and had he not heard her use his nickname and somehow help him over come himself causing him to snap out of his dream and wake up he would’ve likely killed her. His hand let go of her neck when he saw that he was holding her by it and he stepped away from her still breathing pretty heavy and covered his face. “I’m so sorry. That wasn’t supposed to happen. That’s never happened before,” he said feeling suddenly that being there wasn’t the best idea. What if it happened again and he couldn’t stop himself from actually killing her? “Maybe I shouldn’t be here,” he said softly as he didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to go back into hiding all alone, but maybe it was better for everyone involved with him if he did. And he couldn’t see how he could possibly be worth all this trouble.

---

Hazel had finished making dinner and had just set everything on the table when Steve walked in all dressed, but still just as handsome. “I was hoping we could go up onto the roof after we eat and just enjoy the night,” Hazel said smiling at Steve since he was the only one in the room currently. She knew she was getting married soon, she literally wore a reminder on her finger every day, but when she was around Steve all of that slipped away. She forgot that there was someone else, she forgot sometimes that it was the 21st century and no longer the 40’s. Things had always been different with Steve. And no matter how much she tried to deny it he’d always be the one for her. The one who stole her heart years ago, and she’d always be scared of losing him again, but maybe she wouldn’t.

@ Epiphany.
It had all happened so fast. One moment Kate was trying to shake Bucky awake, and the next she was suspended in the air with a metal hand wrapped around her neck. Thankfully, she apparently got through to him, and she was coughing and trying to bring air back into her lungs a few moments later. She shook her head, hearing him apologize, as she continued to try and bring oxygen into her lungs. "No..." She managed to get out. And once she finally started breathing normally, she continued to speak. "Don't leave." She blurted out. She had only just gotten him back, and she knew that it wasn't in the same capacity as it had been in the forties, but he was still there, and she didn't want him to leave already. "I shouldn't have woke you up, it was stupid of me, and I should have known better...please just don't leave, Jamie."

---

Steve smiled at her. "I think that's a great idea." He said, glad that Sam had left the kitchen briefly or else he likely would have faced immense comments from the peanut gallery. He sometimes wondered if his friend's words made things better or worse for him and Hazel. The situation between them was...complicated to say the least. He knew that she was taken, but he couldn't help the flirtatious moments of confidence that took over every so often. And it was all the more confusing because she seemed as though she was flirting with him as well. She never asked him to stop with his comments and teasing, and she often gave it right back to him, so honestly what did that mean? Did she still have feelings for him? If so, why was she still with this guy?

Bucky looked up at Kate and shook his head. "How can you say that?" He asked wondering how she could possibly still want him around after this. "I could've killed you. I almost killed you. And what if it happens again? What if I can't stop myself next time? Because it probably will happen again, I don't want to be responsible for that. You don't deserve that," he said running his fingers through his hair. He really fucking hated this. He hated everything HYDRA had done to him because he couldn't even be around other people he cared about without nearly killing them. All it took was a fucking nightmare and he was losing it all over again. And he didn't understand how Kate could be okay with all of this, but he'd admit that he was thankful for how calm she'd been with him, even now, even though he didn't understand. "I don't want to hurt you, but I also can't promise that I won't, and that isn't fair to you," he told her without ever moving towards the door because he didn't really want to go. He didn't even know where he'd go. But he also truly didn't want to do anything to hurt her.

---

Things with Steve were complicated, to say the least. And Hazel did hate that because they shouldn't be. And if this was 1945 they wouldn't be like this. So she ate her dinner chatting with Sam mostly pretty happy when he'd offered to clean up the kitchen since she'd made dinner. "Thank you," she told him softly before she made her way up to the roof smiling to herself as she just took everything in. The sky was so beautiful at night, maybe not like it used to be, but it was better than nothing. She wrapped her arms around herself as she hadn't realized quite how chilly it was, as she made her way over to the little corner where they just always laid around to talk. There was just something rather special about this place. And she didn't want to give that up, though there were a lot of things Hazel didn't want to give up she knew that she had to. She knew that she needed to make a decision. Did she get married to someone who wasn't Steve or did she give that up to maybe one day marry Steve? And if she were being honest with herself then she'd say that her heart had made that decision a long time ago. It was just getting her mind to agree.

Because I love you. Kate knew that she couldn't tell him that. Maybe he already knew because he knew the truth of how much he had once meant to her, but she couldn't be sure if he realized that he still meant just as much to her now. She couldn't say those four simple words, because she knew what it would do to him. The guilt would eat at him because he didn't remember enough about her and their time together to reciprocate those feelings. "Because I care about you, James Barnes. And I won't let you leave and go out onto the streets. Steve asked if I would mind having you stay with me, and I told him that I didn't, and I still don't. You could have killed me, but you didn't. You're not him anymore, and I know that you're not the man that I used to know either, but you're not the soldier. If you were, you would have killed me. You wouldn't have thought twice about it, but you did."

---

Steve really didn't know what to make of everything with Hazel. He didn't know if she still reciprocated his feelings, or if she was simply humoring him with her flirtatious comments. He'd never been good with dames before, that had always been Bucky who had a way with words and charming the ladies, and he still wasn't seventy some-odd years later. So, he honestly didn't know if there was something going on with him and Hazel or not. Nevertheless, he agreed to go up to the roof with her after dinner, and he really didn't know if that made him incredibly stupid or not considering he knew she had a fiancé and all. But they were just going to talk anyway, so it didn't matter if he was being stupid or not. "There's so many fewer stars out here now." He said as he leaned against the building, looking out at the city below.

Bucky fell back onto the bed and rested his face in his hands as he let out a sigh. He really didn't know what to do right now. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Kate or Steve or really anyone else. He didn't want to be the solider they'd built him to be anymore, but he also knew that that part of him would likely never go away fully even though he wanted it to. It was a part of him now and he had to learn how to live with that. He needed to learn how to control it, that was the scary hard part. Because he didn't even know where to start. "I can't control him, but I want to," Bucky said softly finally looking up at her and running his fingers through his hair. "Just like I want to remember and I want to learn. But I also don't want to hurt you again. So now I'm at a crossroad," he said sighing. He knew that he wasn't going to go anywhere because he didn't really have anywhere to go. Not that he wouldn't find somewhere to hide. It just felt nice to be here though. He was still in hiding, yes, but it felt nice to have an actual home to come home to with someone else in it. And he didn't want to give all of this up. "If I stay can you help me learn to control him?" He asked not even sure how that possible, but maybe she'd know something that he didn't.

---

"It's sad really," Hazel said walking to stand by him. "I mean I still think it's beautiful because I've always found the sky beautiful. But it is sad that there seem to be so many fewer stars," she said sighing softly. Hazel tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled over at Steve as she gently rested her hand on top of his. Everything felt right with him, it felt perfect almost, and it was so obvious that she cared about him. Honestly standing there next to him and just feeling his hand under her own gave her chills it felt so nice. Hazel knew, especially in that moment, that getting married to someone else was stupid, selfish, and wasn't right. Just like she knew she needed to just listen to her heart for once and take what it wanted. She really did worry too much about the future, especially when that's all she had was future so she should figure out her present. Just like she worried too much about losing Steve again that she couldn't even see that marrying someone else ensured that she lost him for good.

The last thing Kate wanted him to do was leave. She understand why he wanted to, but she hoped to convince him otherwise. She had only just gotten him back, and as she had said to him, she wouldn't have agreed to take him in when Steve asked her if she had a problem with doing so. She'd known what she was getting herself into. Frowning when he collapsed onto the bed and spoke about how he couldn't control the soldier, she took a seat next to him. "Hey, look at me." She said quietly. "I know how difficult this all is for you, and I know that you're trying so hard to remember and so hard to learn everything that you can about this century, but I'm sorry if I made you feel obligated to do any of those things. I know that there's a chance you might never remember, and that's okay. I'm just glad that you're here with me right now, and I'm going to do everything I can to try and help you control him. I don't know if I'll be able to, but I'm willing to try if you are. I can't do that if you leave though."

---

"We should go somewhere away from the city one night. I'm sure we'll see tons of stars there." Steve told her. He loved New York, it had always been his home, but so much of it had changed, and there was still a part of him who expected to see the New York that he'd known growing up even though he knew that was never going to happen. New York had changed just as much as the rest of the world had. Things were always going to be different now from what he'd once been used to, and he hoped that one day he could fully accept and get used to it himself, but he didn't really know if that would ever be the case. "It's crazy how different everything is now." He said with a sigh.

[I'm picturing this scene in my head where it's a few weeks after the whole nightmare incident, and Kate and Bucky have just finished eating dinner, and he's helping her wash the dishes, and suddenly he doesn't remember everything with Kate, only the things that he remembered before, the brief glimpses into their past life together that he had in dreams, but he remembers how he felt about her, and he remembers that her face was the first she thought of when he fell from that train, and he like drops a plate and it breaks and Kate had been getting a few other things off the table to put away and she rushes back in when she hears the plate break and makes a teasing comment, but then he looks at her with this expression of awe on his face like he's seeing her again for the very first time, and he just walks over to her and engulfs her in a massive hug and doesn't say anything at first and it's just a really emotional moment ]

Bucky rubbed his temple and let out a sigh. Maybe she was right and he should give it another try. He'd had less episodes in the last few months and things did feel a lot nicer around Kate than they had when he'd been on his own on the run. Bucky knew he wasn't going to feel better about this is it happened again, but at the same time maybe it wouldn't. "I just don't want to hurt you," Bucky said looking over at her and hoping that this would work out. Because he wanted to stay, he wanted to be near her and continue to learn about everything going on in the world now, but he also really didn't want to hurt her. "And I want to learn about this century. I want to fit in with society one day, maybe not anytime soon, but eventually. So you didn't pressure me into anything, and I don't want you to think you did," he told her knowing he'd tell her if he truly didn't want to do something.

---

"We should. I still have a cabin upstate actually. We should go sometime," Hazel said smiling because she really did just feel so comfortable with him. There was no question when it came to this really. Hazel knew in her heart that she wanted to be with Steve, she'd waited for him. Hell, she'd only just got engaged literally days before Steve even woke up. And she hadn't really known him that long, just a year. But things had progressed and before she knew it he was asking her to marry him and she was agreeing. She still didn't know why. Really Hazel still questioned why she'd said yes to a date with him at all, aside from feeling pressure from some of the other girls who'd all told her 'you can't just wait around for a man who might not ever come back,' and 'even if he does come back it won't be the same, and what if you lose him again?'. Hazel had let herself believe what everyone else was saying and clearly wasn't thinking things through very well. I can't do this she thought to herself knowing that she couldn't actually get married to someone else. Not when it wasn't what she really wanted and not when she still had feelings for Steve.

"I know..." Kate said softly. She understood where he was coming from. After what had happened tonight, of course it would be hard for him not to worry about whether or not he was going to hurt her again. "But I trust you." She reached over and took his metal hand in her own. "And I know you're going to tell me that I shouldn't because of him, but you aren't the asset, Jamie. Yes, he is a part of you, but that's something that you can overcome. And I'm going to try to help you control him, I don't know how well I'll be able to, but I'm willing to try so long as you are too." She wanted to help him, that's what she'd been doing all along with educating him about this century, and if he wanted help learning to keep the soldier at bay, then she would try her best to help him with that as well. "Then I'll do my best to teach you everything that I can." She mustered a small smile.

---

"Are you sure that would be the best idea?" Steve finally blurted out. Yes, he had made the suggestion for them to go somewhere they could see the stars one night, but now she was talking about the cabin she had upstate, and he couldn't help wondering even more so now than he had before what the hell was going on here. "What exactly are we doing right now, Hazel? You're engaged to another man. You have a fiancé waiting for you at home, why are you wasting your time with me?" Maybe he was being a bit harsh with his words, but he knew that they were true. He was speaking exactly what had been on his mind for quite some time now, and he'd be shocked if she hadn't thought something similar herself.

Bucky looked down at her hand on his metal hand and couldn't help but feel a little bit calmer already. He didn't know exactly how she could calm him down so easily just by touching his hand but she had. And he was sure it had something to do with their past and the connection they'd had, which he wished he could remember but he just couldn't, not fully anyways. He had bits and pieces of it, but just because he remembered it didn't mean he still felt that way. And of course, he knew he could feel that way again, or maybe those feelings would come back, but right now there was nothing. He was just going to accept though that Kate could make him feel better so easily. "I didn't wake you or anything did I?" He asked her realizing the hour had to be crazy, "because if so I'm sorry. And thank you for sitting with me," he told her not sure if he was quite ready to even try and go back to sleep or not, but if she was tired he wouldn't be at all upset if she got some more sleep. At least one of them should be able to.

---

Hazel ran her fingers through her hair and let out a soft sigh. She knew this would happen eventually because he was right. She was engaged to someone else, there was literally someone waiting for her at her apartment but instead of being with him Hazel was there with Steve. And all the comments Sam made here and there about them rang in her ears all over again. "I don't know," she said trying to will back her tears. She wanted to ask why he would ruin such a good moment, but she was also glad that he had because she couldn't keep doing this to herself or to him. "My time has never been wasted when it's spent with you," she told softly him biting her lip. "I don't want to go back to him. I don't want to marry him. I don't want to actually waste my time with someone I'm not head over heels in love with. I want to be with you. You're the only person on this planet I've wanted to be with for seventy-five years. But I don't know that I can handle losing you again. I'm scared that if something happens to you I won't be able to recover," she said wiping her eyes wishing she could stop the tears because she didn't want to cry, but she was so damn emotional that wasn't likely.