Whispers and Whimpers.

  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley Winters.

    Image
    Jason Momoa.
    January 3rd, 2018 at 08:40pm
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    I had no clue what had happened between us. When I first met Jason, I thought that he was out of his mind to go for a girl like me. I was just your average vet technician who spent most of her days with her hair tossed up into a messy bun and wearing scrubs. When she met Jason, she'd bumped into him accidentally at a cafe in town before what she knew would be a long shift at work. She had needed a coffee to get through her day and Jason wasn't as well-known at the time as he was now so I hadn't recognized him from anything.

    I guess Jason had liked that because I didn't treat him any differently than I would have treated anyone else. It wasn't long before we were dating, three months and I couldn't have believed how quickly I fell in love with him. He had treated me like a princess, had spoiled me even when I resisted simply because he could and he said he wanted to. He had a heart and mind that I had fallen in love with.

    But people change, all of the time. I wasn't so sure what had happened to flick a proverbial switch inside of Jason because it had seemed like an overnight change with his attitude and how he treated me. He was always so angry now, always accusing me of cheating on him and using him for his money. It had gotten so bad that I quit my job at a local vet hospital that I had gotten after moving across country to live with Jason.

    Jason had been off doing shooting for his newest show, Frontier, and he was due back today. If this had been a year ago, I would have been excited and rushing to get ready hours early in anticipation of his arrival. Now, I was sitting outside in the backyard. A cigarette hung from my lips as I picked at the edge of my shorts. Jason hated when I smoked so I only ever did it when he was away and even then, I did it outside so that it wouldn't smell up his house. I knew it was a dirty habit, just like he said it was, but it eased my anxiety even just a tiny bit.

    I had been lost in my own thoughts, only to be dragged out when I heard the telltale sound of an engine pulling up the drive. My eyes widened as fear flooded my body - I wasn't ready and here I was, doing one of the things he hated. Crushing the cigarette against the ground, I tossed it into the bushes before rushing inside in hopes that Jason was in a good mood upon arriving home. When Jason stepped through the doorway, I rushed into his arms, wrapping my arms tightly around his shoulders as I buried my face into his shoulders. "I missed you so much, baby," I whispered into the material of his shirt, turning to press a kiss to his ear. I tried to avoid kissing him, knowing full well that he'd be able to figure out that I had just been smoking if I kissed him.
    January 3rd, 2018 at 09:07pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Ghoul of 2016
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    27
    Location:
    United States
    Jason still loved Oakley, even if that was hard for her to believe. It was hard for himself to believe sometimes. Hollywood had just went to his head and not in a good way. He was always so stressed out, the burdens of all of his shows and movies bearing down on his shoulders. It was hard to get up and go to a job every day where you had to pretend to be someone else and every night go out to an event and keep a smile on your face. When he first met Oakley, everything was so much simpler...

    Stepping in through the door he almost rolled his eyes as soon as she ran into his arms and kissed all over his cheek. It felt like he was just going through the motions with her. It was always the same thing when he got home. He moved away from her, barely grunting a hello as he walked into the kitchen and did the exact same thing that Oakley saw him do everything.

    He grabbed a beer from the fridge and even popped the lid off his bottle of whiskey. He was used to chasing his liquor with a bitter beer. "What did you do all day? Sit outside and smoke for hours on end?" He asked, without even looking up from his beer. He could smell it all over her.
    January 4th, 2018 at 05:01am
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley's face fell as Jason all but pushed her out of the way. She watched warily as he pulled out a beer and his bottle of whiskey. She had been hopeful that Jason would be in a good mood and they could spend some quality time together but she knew that wasn't about to happen. When he drank, he was more volatile than usual and his following words did nothing to ease her worries.

    Swallowing around the lump that had formed in her throat, Oakley looked down to her feet as she toed the floor beneath her feet. "Of course not," she answered quietly, her voice almost sounding hurt. "I just cleaned up for the most part and I guess... I was just having a smoke before I got ready. I thought you were going to be home later. I'm sorry," Oakley explained, rubbing her arm awkwardly as she glanced toward the bags that Jason had dropped by the door.

    "I'll go toss your clothes in the laundry," Oakley said, turning to grab the bags before she headed toward the laundry room in hopes that when she found Jason again, just maybe she'd get lucky and he'd be in a better mood.
    January 4th, 2018 at 06:50pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Jason groaned and rolled his eyes, having no desire to try and ease her troubled mind. She knew he hated her smoking and yet she did it anyway. Taking another shot of his bourbon, he pushed the bottle away and left it opened on the counter. He picked up his beer and went to take a seat on the couch, sinking into the cushions and throwing his head back to rest.

    Jason was tense, his whole body feeling like it was wounder tighter than a two dollar watch. Running his hands through his matted, dirty hair he sighed and could hear Oakley downstairs fumbling with the laundry. No matter what Oakley thought, it wasn't that Jason wanted to start fights, like it pleasured him. He didn't go to work all day long and stand around and think about how he couldn't stand to come home and get in a fight and lay his hands on her. He didn't want too. He couldn't control his anger when it got to that point.

    And right now he was just sitting quietly on the couch, unable to get the thought out of his mind that she just sat on the back porch for the better part of the day and smoked like a freight train. He could even bet that if he went outside, the smell of cigarette smoke would be soaked into the luxurious, expensive seats he had imported from France. It was enough to make his hands ball up into fists.
    January 4th, 2018 at 07:30pm
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley lingered downstairs longer than she needed to. She had tossed a load of laundry into the dryer earlier and left it longer than she should have so she started the dryer again and let it run for a few minutes to warm the clothing so there would be no wrinkles. She folded the clothes once they were warmed through again, chewing on the inside of her lip as she turned to head back upstairs. Her stomach was twisted into a firm knot as she reappeared from the basement, eyeing Jason's back warily.

    Just the way that he sat screamed tension and Oakley almost regretted coming upstairs. Maybe it would have just been better off if she stayed downstairs until his laundry had been finished... Oakley bit back a sigh as she approached Jason, taking a seat on the far end of the couch. She sat on the very corner of the seat, glancing Jason's way nervously.

    "Did you want me to start the hot tub or something? Maybe it'll help you relax," Oakley offered up a suggestion with a small smile. She smoothed down the material of her shirt, looking back down to her lap when Jason turned a glare in her direction.
    January 4th, 2018 at 07:40pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Swirling his beer bottle around in circles, Jason stretched his arms out over the couch's back and tried his damnedest to relax. It wasn't until he heard Oakley's footsteps that he realized relaxation was not in his future. Already huffing and groaning before her mouth even opened, Jason rolled his head towards her and looked up at her with slits for eyes; his glares were the worst. "Does it look like I want to go sit in the hot tub?" He paused for a moment to watch her mouth open just slightly, but he knew she was to terrified to try and give him an answer. "If I wanted to go sit in the hot tub, I'd tell you." His voice was deep and gravely.

    Forcing himself to sit up, he sat his beer bottle on the table and ran his hands over his face. "I'm just trying to fucking relax, Oakley and your smokey ass is not helping me do that." He could still smell the smoke rolling off of her clothes and it was pissing him off more and more.
    January 9th, 2018 at 06:16pm
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley shrank under Jason's glare, her breathe catching in the back of her throat as her gaze started to flit around the room. Everything about Jason made her nervous, afraid of doing the wrong thing. She had felt pain at his hands, of which she never thought possible but she had learned. Drawing in a deep breathe, Oakley mentally prepared herself for Jason to lash out at her when he sat up. His words cut through her but she knew he was right. She should have never smoked in his or on his property, it was disrespectful and she didn't want to do that to him. She said a silent promise to herself that she wouldn't do it again but she didn't voice that because she knew it would only make the situation worse.

    Standing, Oakley started for the stairs. "I'm just going to go freshen up. I'll be down in a bit," Oakley said before she disappeared up the stairs. It was a relief to be away from Jason even if he was downstairs because she was safe, at least in the moment. Oakley started with a shower before she settled on a 50s style dress and she even pulled up her hair in a vintage style, thinking that if she put effort into dressing up, she might end up turning Jason's mood around. Right before heading downstairs, Oakley brushed her teeth and used mouthwash before making her way downstairs. Her stomach twisted as she lingered in the doorway of the living room, not sure what sort of mood Jason would be in. She had been gone for nearly an hour and a half. "Hi," she spoke up, her voice still shaking a bit as she looked back down to her feet.
    January 9th, 2018 at 07:10pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    The beer in Jason's hand was doing nothing to help him relax. All he could think about was how rude Oakley had been. He didn't have a list of rules she had to follow, only a couple. The most important being no smoking in his house. How hard was it to follow a simple rule? Especially when he practically paid for everything and took care of her.

    He looked up towards the doorway, seeing her standing there, all dressed up. "Got somewhere to be?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. At least she didn't smell like cigarette ashes anymore, but instead a nice floral scent rolled off of her and filled the room. Jason felt his muscles relax and he was finally able to sink back into his chair and fully get comfortable. Finally. He swirled his beer bottle around, feeling just a swig left in the bottom of the bottle. He held it out to her by the neck of it and looked her up and down, "Be a doll and get me another." His voice was a little softer now, but still demanding and hoarse. The absence of the smoke odor was enough to help him calm his anger, but not enough to make him just completely forget how much she disrespected him.
    March 23rd, 2018 at 06:40pm
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley had found herself oddly excited to show her outfit to Jason. She had bought the dress while Jason was away just this last time and she had thought it might excite him. Maybe it was a little stupid of her but she just wanted to let Jason know how much she cared about him and that she wanted to continue to impress him, to make sure he didn't fall out of love with her or something silly like that. Taking a deep breathe, Oakley felt her heart drop the moment that Jason looked toward her. His words did nothing but crush what excitement may have been left. She gave a timid nod, her gaze dropping to her feet.

    She was stuck in place, afraid to even step further into the room with Jason telling her to. With how much she had already managed to mess up tonight, she didn't want to press his buttons further. Oakley only entered the living room at Jason's prompting, grabbing the empty bottle from him when she was close enough. Rushing out of the room, Oakley reappeared with a fresh beer in hand. She had popped the lid of the bottle so that Jason wouldn't have to. She held it out to him, taking a few steps back when he took it from her. Folding her hands in front of her, Oakley drew a deep, slow breathe in. "I... can I sit with you?" Oakley's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, not wanting to disturb his television more than she already had.
    April 1st, 2018 at 05:07am
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Jason didn't let his eyes move from the game that was playing on the television as he brought the beer bottle up to his lips. He barely shrugged his shoulders, not caring much anymore. It was good enough to him that she didn't have smoke rolling off of her anymore. "What did you do today besides smoke up the house?" He asked, unable to get rid of his snarky attitude as she came and sat next to him.

    He knew he was being a dick, but he couldn't help it. Oakley just pissed him off day in and day out, and on top of that, the stress of filming wasn't making anything easier on him. He had a lot of hard decisions out there to make, if he took one wrong role, his career could be over. He had a lot to live up to.
    April 1st, 2018 at 06:42am
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley hesitated even when Jason shrugged his shoulders, debating with herself if she should just go do something else. She was sure there was somewhere that she could tidy up but Jason had been gone for so long that all she really wanted to do was spend some time with him. Finally, she lowered herself onto the seat beside Jason but she remained on the edge of the couch cushion. She stared down at her lap, Jason's question hitting a bit harder than Oakley told herself he had meant it to. "I had a small breakfast," she admitted, shrugging her own shoulders. "It was only a banana," she added quickly, realizing that she didn't want Jason to think she had pigged out. She had to keep her figure, she had to impress Jason and gaining weight would do the exact opposite of that.

    Her bottom lip wobbled and she was quick to turn away from Jason, her body shuddering as she fought back a sob. She reached up, quickly wiping away the tears that had threatened to fall. Oakley dragged in a deep breathe, glancing toward the game on tv. "Do you... want me to put some snacks together or something? For you?" Oakley asked, twisting her finger together in her lap.
    April 1st, 2018 at 07:36pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Drogo could hear the whimper in her voice and he couldn't help but let it soften his emotions. Her crying usually made him take a step back and realize how he was acting, except for when he was completely blinded by anger. For example, if he had gotten home and found her smoking, and she immediately started crying, it would've only made him angrier. But hearing her start to tear up from just trying to get his attention, not wanting to make him more mad, made him realize how shitty he was being in that moment.

    He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at her, turning the television off. "You've only had a banana?" He asked, ignoring her offer of snacks. "It's almost eight at night, Oaks. C'mon, let's go make some dinner." He got up, leaving his half full beer in the cup holder on the recliner. "Are you not starving?" He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into the kitchen. Drogo could still have his good moments.
    April 4th, 2018 at 04:53am
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley jumped when the television was turned off, her head snapping up as dread filled the pit of her stomach. She was sure that her admission of having a small breakfast had ticked Jason off and she sat there, rigid as board as she waited for his temper to snap. She only looked up when Jason commented on the time, shrugging her shoulders. The cat had gotten her tongue, she remained silent as she looked at Jason.

    She rose to her feet, following a bit unsure after Jason. "I... well, I mean. Yeah," Oakley admitted in a small voice, finding that she felt a bit childish to even be mentioning her problems to Jason. He had so much to worry about and focus on with his work, her eating or not eating should be on the very bottom of his worry list. "But I need to watch my figure and I knew you were coming home so I wanted the house clean for you," Oakley had started to ramble all over again, stopping in front of the kitchen counter. Her face scrunched slightly as she considered actually eating. "I'm fine," Oakley declared, straightening up. "I'll just make some snacks for you so you can enjoy them while you watch your game. What do you want to eat?"
    April 4th, 2018 at 11:33pm
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Jason frowned and looked up at her, growing more annoyed at her every word. "Are you that daft, Oak?" He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "Watching your figure or not, you're going to starve to death just eating a fucking banana every day. I said: let's make dinner." He had been trying to calm down, be nicer to her, but she made it fucking impossible.

    He turned to the fridge and opened it, pulling out some thawed chicken breasts and some carrots. He laid them next to the stove and ran his hands through his hair. He was tired and annoyed, and as much as she was making it worse, it upset him even more than she had eaten so little. "Are you trying to die to get away from me?" He joked, not really caring for the answer. He grabbed a pan and started laying the chicken pieces on it, sprinkling them with salt, pepper, garlic and rosemary.
    April 5th, 2018 at 05:46pm
  • castle.

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    Oakley frowned, looking up to Jason as he spoke to her. She was sure that he was trying to show that he cared, that he didn't want her hurting herself for some stupid reason but the way he came across, it cut deeper than it should have. She swallowed back the emotion, giving a shrug of her shoulders as she chewed on the inside of her lip. She watched as Jason started to pull out food from the fridge, her stomach twisting. He wasn't supposed to have to worry about cooking, or cleaning the house, or any of those duties like that. He cared for her, he paid for the house, the clothes on her back, the food in her stomach. The least she could do was care for his home, right?

    "No," Oakley answered quietly, stepping forward to start a pot of water. She was just going to boil the carrots and season them nicely, figuring that she could at least help out with dinner in one way or another. "I just want to impress you," Oakley added after a few beats of silence. She didn't know how else to explain it and she didn't want Jason to take this as she was trying to manipulate him into being more sympathetic or kinder. "And if I get fat, you'd be able to find someone so much prettier than me and I guess... I dunno..." she trailed off, realizing how ridiculous she probably sounded to him. Oakley cleared her throat, speaking a bit clearer this time around. "Sorry. I shouldn't unload stupid stuff on you like that."
    April 6th, 2018 at 04:58am
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Jason leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her take over the cooking. "Oakley, you can eat without gaining weight as long as you eat healthy. Eating just a banana every day is going to make you boney and thats worse than gaining a couple of pounds." Having this conversation with her almost felt exhausting. He looked her up and down, letting his eyes roam over her curves, "But you're gorgeous just the way you are. Sometimes your annoying and you piss me off, but you don't need to worry about your body too." He laughed, picking his beer back up of the counter and tanking a drink of it.

    Girls always confused him. They always worried about the wrong things at the wrong times and let it get to them way to much, way more than it should. Jason was going to leave it that, because he knew if he kept arguing with her over her body image issues, he would just get angry again.
    April 6th, 2018 at 05:37am
  • castle.

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    Oakley's brows pulled together and she found herself wanting to argue with Jason over the whole thing. She didn't understand why it was so hard for him to see why she was insecure. He was Jason Momoa. Khal Drogo, Aquaman, Declan. Someone that most single girls would kill to be with. Shrugging in reply to his words, Oakley forced herself to focus on cooking the food. She didn't want to burn it or ruin it in some other way.

    Once the food was finished, Oakley plated two dishes. One for Jason which she handed to him before she picked up her. She took tiny bites, her eyes trained on her food. She didn't want to eat and she thought if she acted like she was, eventually Jason would lose interest and she could get rid of what was left on her plate. "I think I'm going to head up to bed after this," she commented softly, looking up from her food. "If that's okay with you."
    April 9th, 2018 at 05:20am
  • dezz

    dezz (100)

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    Jason frowned, looking up at her. He didn't know what was wrong with her, why she was acting this way. She never used to be this timid, this insecure. He was sure his attitude and aggression didn't help anything, but her lack of self esteem was really putting him off.

    "Whatever." He said, looking back down at his food as he eat. He didn't know what to say to her, or do, to make the situation better. That's not what he did anyways. He never made anything better, he made things worse. That's what he was good at.
    April 9th, 2018 at 06:10am
  • castle.

    castle. (2000)

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    Oakley started eating the food on the plate in front of her, hoping that if she ate in front of him, it might end up helping his mood to improve. The moment that she had finished her food, she pushed to her feet and moved to the sink to start doing the dishes. She didn't want to leave them laying around because if she put them off now, she would only continue to put them off and that wasn't exactly what she wanted. Jason deserved a clean house, with everything that he provided for her.

    "Why don't we..." Oakley trailed off, realizing that she didn't really have a plan. She just wanted to spend time with Jason, get reacquinted with him in whatever way she could. She cleared her throat, glancing up to him. "Why don't you go take a nice, hot shower and after I can give you a massage?"
    April 11th, 2018 at 06:30pm