i never meant to break your heart.

Alex was never a “hook up” man, preferring to actually hold a conversation before there was any intimacy. It was the real reason why Grindr never had any appeal to him. There was no real rhyme or reason to him downloading the app, taking a ridiculous picture of his lower half, and seeing what would happen. His inbox was filled shortly with offers, nothing quite catching his eye until he saw what could only be described as a man who also didn’t seem quite right on the stupid app. He decided it would be best to message him, knowing the worst to happen would be being ignored. It didn’t help he was horrendously bored and horny, the Hat trio on a small vacation as Ross was in Australia with his girlfriend. Alex would probably come to ask them to never leave him and his compulsive tendencies alone again.

Brian was ridiculously bored. To the point where hooking up with a random person on Grindr was preferable to sitting here and staring off into the abyss. Being horny was another factor, and he’s been dealing with that alone for months now; his hand really wasn’t cutting it anymore. He pulled up the app, deleting all the previous attempts at conversations where he was almost instantly recognised, and scrolled through the new options in Brighton. He sent off a few messages to people, trying to find those that didn’t look like they’d give him several venereal diseases. He waited a bit, and watched various replies and new chats pop up, replying to very few that didn’t automatically call him out. He found one that had a ‘big personality’ and replied to him, ‘Hey, not gonna beat around the bush, you drug and disease free?’

Alex didn’t expect a reply from one of the only one’s who had an actual picture of their face, especially one of the one’s that was cute enough to catch his attention, but he didn’t mind it. The directness was something he respected, shooting off his own reply fairly quickly without much thought of how desperate it could potentially come off as. ‘Yeah I am. Need my results in writing?’ He hoped that also didn’t come off as a certain way, maybe the guy had a sense of humour. There was no way to truly tell, hookups were weird and awkward as is without Alex’s crude attempt at comedy. He felt his palms start sweating as apprehension hit him, deciding to pass some of the time pacing around his kitchen even though he wasn’t really hungry. Still, he mindlessly went to grab some of the crisps he had laying around. He wished that Ross was around to tell him how stupid he was being. God knew Trott would only egg him on. He had shit friends.

‘The proof is in the receipts,’ Brian shot back quickly, smiling at the slightly absurd conversation. But, why waste time when they both knew what they were there for? ‘But, I’m sure you’re not lying. There’s always protection. You okay to host?’ He has a strict no hosting policy, preferring to be the one to make a quick dash afterwards instead of having to find a somewhat polite way to tell the person to get the fuck out. He decided to wash his face while he waited for a reply, making an attempt at getting all the residual glitter off—though he knows that’s a losing battle—and brush his teeth. He wasn’t going to put too much effort into it, but he didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t a functioning adult, incapable of properly caring for himself.

Alex allowed a short chuckle to pass his lips from their exchange, slightly comedic even if it wasn’t all that funny. ‘Yeah, here’s my address.’ He sent without another thought. There was a fear that this would be the most awkward exchange he had ever had, but it wasn’t like he could talk to any of his mate’s about it, there would be too much information given out that he would rather not worry about. It wasn’t that he was necessarily in the closet about his sexuality, he just never felt the need to disclose whether he preferred men or women to his friends. Sighing again, he decided that perhaps he should take a shower before Brian got there. ‘Also, please don’t be a psycho murderer, I have things I still need to do with my life.’ Maybe that reply was overkill, maybe Alex wasn’t funny. Both those things could be true.

Brian let out startled laughter—having thought the same thing—before typing, ‘I only murder hookups on Sunday’s. You’re safe for now. The clock is ticking.’ Brian questioned his replied, but decided to press send and just let it be. He’s said worse to people he’s known better. If anything the dude would simply not answer the door, and he’s just go find a pub to make the night pass. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s been ghosted like that. He pulled up the Uber app, pasted the address in and scheduled a ride. It didn’t take but a few minutes for the car to get there, and less than 10 minutes to arrive at the man’s house. ‘I’m outside of your apartment building, and you didn’t give me a number to dial or a code. Buzz me in? Also, what floor and apartment number?’

Alex was thankful he didn’t take long showers, not expecting the man to have arrived at his apartment complex as soon as he had. His hair was still wet and he had a towel wrapped loosely around his waist as he realised how idiotic he was to simply not tell the man his apartment number or the code to get in. ‘Shit man, sorry. Buzzing you in now, it’s the third floor number 305.’ Alex didn’t bother explaining how he only had a few friends who all knew the code to get in and unannounced would often bang on his door in an attempt to be let in. Going into his bedroom, he quickly put on some joggers and a loose shirt, deciding that answering the door partically nude was a little too on the nose for him. He still felt the nerves bundling up inside him, making him question exactly why he was doing any of this. The knock on the door had him sobering up as he opened it after a few moments to not seem as though he was waiting right by it. “Hey, sorry about that,” he said, laughing slightly. Alex Smith needed to take a class on how to talk to people he didn’t know.

Brian must admit that he was surprised the man actually looked like his profile pictures. It’s always a pleasant surprise when that happens. “No worries. I’d probably have forgotten about the small details myself,” he said, giving the other man a reassuring smile before entering into his home. It was sparsely furnished, as every other bachelor’s house was, though the entertainment setup was rather impressive. He gave a low whistle, checking out all the various equipment he had and decided that was a safe topic to start with. “Good God, what do you do to afford all of this? Or is that too personal? Either way, this all is pretty impressive,” he said, giving the man another, slightly awkward smile, trying to make the whole situation more easy.

Alex had one thing that he could boast about, his extensive collection of gaming consoles and video games. It was one of the perks of being associated with Yogscast, the ability to get codes and deals for games that would normally cost an arm and a leg to get. Sometimes the Hats would actually review it, if it was a PC game mostly, but other times Alex had the ability to enjoy it on his own time. "Yeah, it's part of my job, actually. I play games for the Internet," he explained, hoping it didn't seem lame or too nerdy. The man could take it either way, really, and he didn't exactly seem like the kind of person who played a lot of video games. "Do you play?" He asked, motioning toward the entertainment system casually. Hell, if anything there would be sex and playing games, neither of which Alex could complain about.